A six-year-old girl came home one day from school and asked,
Mama,
How was I born?
The mother was embarrassed.
She said,
A stork dropped you.
Okay,
She noted down.
Mama,
How are you born?
A stork dropped me too.
Mama,
How was grandmama born?
A stork dropped her too.
Then the girl became serious and she went down and sat down and started writing something in her homework.
Then the mother was feeling uncomfortable.
She finished her cooking and then the girl had finished her homework and left the book there.
She went and read.
So the essay was about the family tree.
So the girl had written,
For three generations in my family,
Nobody had a natural birth.
So because of absurd ideas,
Either we exaggerate something or we try to unnecessarily play it down.
It has a certain role in your life.
If you make it too big,
You will become perverted in your head.
If you try to obliterate it,
You will become even more perverted in your mind.
So there are many reasons why one indulges in sex.
For some,
It is just pleasure.
For some,
It is a way of building this bond and companionship.
Otherwise,
People feel they're going away from each other.
They may be just fine,
But lot of people it is psyched in their mind that if they're not sexually involved,
They're actually moving away.
Not true.
You can be very close to somebody and need not be involved in any physical manner,
Isn't it?
But societies are psyching,
Especially in this part of the world,
People are hugely psyched.
If there is no sexuality,
You don't really have a relationship.
In fact,
The word relationship,
It's only… it took me some time to understand.
That here,
If you say a relationship,
You're supposed to understand it's sex-based relationship.
Nothing else is a relationship.
If I can have a very strong relationship with you and not be concerned about your body,
Isn't it?
Yes?
I may not be drawn to your body in any way,
But I can have a very powerful relationship with you.
But all those possibilities are completely discounted.
A relationship means you must be in some way physically involved,
Man-woman or man-man,
Woman-woman,
Whatever you like.
Essentially,
It's body-based.
What kind of body is individual choices,
But essentially it is body-based.
This has happened because somewhere our identification in the body has gone beyond normal levels of identity.
It is excessive identification with the body.
That is why body-based relationships have become the crux of the society.
Essentially,
Most of the sexuality that's happening on the planet is happening because of a certain compulsiveness,
Isn't it?
It's a compulsive drive.
After all,
Now I'm speaking,
This is a kind of energy.
You are looking at me,
This is a kind of energy.
You're listening to me,
This is a kind of energy.
These are different expressions of the same life energy,
Isn't it?
Now,
Sexuality is also another expression of the same energy.
Now,
One has to decide how much of his energy,
In which direction he wants to send it.
Because after all,
You are a limited amount of energy,
Isn't it?
See,
It's just like you have an income.
Let's say you have five thousand dollars a month.
How much for the house rent,
How much for eating,
How much for schooling,
How much just for fun,
How much for vacation,
You apportion,
Isn't it?
Tomorrow morning you got your salary,
In the evening you went out and blew it up.
Now,
The next month is going to be trouble,
Isn't it?
Of course,
You have a credit card,
But everything in your life,
If you're handling your life sensibly,
Everything in your life is apportioned according to your understanding,
Your need and your capability,
Isn't it so?
Yes?
Your money,
Time,
Energy,
Isn't everything allotted the way you like to arrange it?
This is also the same thing.
How much of it?
First of all,
Do you need it or are you doing it because of socially you're psyched?
If there is a need,
If I ask you to stop it,
You will become perverted because it'll all happen in your head.
If somebody is telling you,
You have to do it,
If you don't do it,
You're not normal,
Another kind of perversion will come,
Both are not needed.
It is just that if there is such a drive,
It is there,
But you understand the limitation of it.
After all,
You are not going after a man or woman,
We already looked at this,
You are going after a certain level of pleasantness.
So,
Once you experience a certain level of pleasantness,
Wouldn't you like to dig deeper into this?
Because whatever pleasantness happened,
Maybe you use the other person,
But the pleasantness happened within you,
Right?
So,
Suppose anyway the pleasantness is happening within you,
The other person is just a key to open this,
Wouldn't you like to have the key in your own hands?
Yes?
That if you sit like this,
You are on full scale,
You don't need anybody because to extract pleasure out of somebody,
You have to play any number of tricks.
It doesn't happen simply,
This is called as courting.
Once you go to the court,
The judgment day will come.
It takes enormous amount of time,
Effort,
Energy and all kinds of other things,
Frustrations,
Jealousies,
Problems,
Everything attached to it.
You are here constantly looking what can I get out of this person,
What can I get out of that person?
This is a con job,
It's called a love affair,
But it's a con job.
But if you are extremely ecstatic by yourself,
When you're being with people,
It's about sharing your ecstasy.
It is about,
If they are not touched by it,
Somehow to touch them with it,
Rather than seeing what you can squeeze out of them.
The whole fundamentals of your life will change.
