165 Man Cave Summit: Fatherhood Philosophy
Apparently, last Friday was “Three Kings' Day”— referring to the magi who visited baby J in the manger. It happened to coincide with a summit planned with my new office mates. The three of us are young fathers and entrepreneurs. We christened our new space, Studio 14, with a chat on the Father Wound, the greater demands on manhood in creating a Perimeter, and fatherhood philosophy.
Transcript
Happy King's Day again.
There we go.
Happy King's Day.
Cheers.
Great.
So,
We had the Man Cave Summit.
This is our studio,
Studio 14,
One wall of the studio.
I mean,
We're all young fathers.
Today,
We decided to take a summit day to plan our lives,
Plan the year,
And we ended up with philosophy,
So it made sense to turn on the stream.
I hope what we talk about now is as good as the stuff we talk about this morning.
We'll see.
I've got my paper here.
That's actually a good point.
We can dive into that.
I've got to write down some notes as well.
Pretty cool.
Yeah.
But,
Yeah,
It's been cool.
This morning,
I mean,
I'll speak for myself first,
But,
Yeah,
Just being able to connect with other fathers from the same life situation who,
Because it is different navigating your life goals when you have a kid.
And,
Yeah,
It's been cool.
I mean,
I've got my paper here.
This is actually a good point.
We can dive into that.
I've got to write down some notes as well.
Pretty cool.
Yeah.
I've got to write down some notes as well.
Pretty cool.
Yeah.
I've got to write down some notes as well.
Pretty cool.
Yeah.
I've got to write down some notes as well.
Pretty cool.
Yeah.
I've got to write down some notes as well.
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Yeah.
I've got to write down some notes as well.
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I've got to write down some notes as well.
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Yeah.
That's a very good point.
A very good reflection actually,
Right,
At the time that we are even here in Studio 14 working on our big dreams.
Yeah.
It's a good reflection to not lose track of what is actually really important,
Right?
And also,
I said this morning,
Like,
A better world starts with a better me,
Right?
Like,
Me being a good father is like,
Might do way more for the world than me trying to,
I don't know,
Help a bunch of people out there.
Like,
Nick,
This example was the Dr.
Brown's guy.
You know,
If every man was a good father,
The world would be a better place already versus everyone trying to change everyone else but their own family.
Yeah.
Or like,
Be there for their own family.
There's a flip side though too of like,
The guy who's so committed to family that he maybe even uses it as an excuse to like,
He's like almost a stay-at-home dad because he wants to really be there for his kids.
But then he's modeling that of not really going for something beyond the family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Definitely.
So it's just balance again.
I guess.
Just finding the right balance.
For sure.
Yeah,
And for yourself,
What kind of person you are.
Yeah.
Like,
Yeah,
I don't know.
Like,
I wouldn't really want to be a stay-at-home dad.
No.
I just don't think I'd enjoy it very much.
Yeah.
To be honest.
Yeah,
I need the balance for sure.
I want to be like a super dad,
Like be there as much as I can.
And I also feel like,
I think what you need is something,
You know,
Like being the example,
Like living as an example.
It means like going after your dreams and fulfilling yourself first before you can,
It's like,
You know,
Filling your own cup first before you can fill in your other cups.
Whatever you need to fill your own cup.
Because that is the example,
I feel like that's already a sample for kids to not be,
Yeah,
Seeing that you have to sacrifice.
Yeah.
I'm sure there's a certain amount of sacrifice,
It's natural.
Yeah.
And they can play into each other,
You know.
I think it is to do with time,
When you say how much time do I spend with my kids,
But it's not just time.
Like I have an auntie and an uncle that live in Australia,
I grew up in New Zealand.
We would fly overseas over there to Australia to see them like once every two years for about like two or three weeks.
Because of how the interaction was and what kind of time we spent together and what we did and just how they are as people,
I feel more connected to them than I do to some people that I saw,
My family that lived in my city that I saw more often,
That I spent more time with.
So I don't think I'm going to say I'm going to see my son once a year and I can make it as good as seeing him every day.
But I think I could definitely work two hours a day,
Be at home the rest of the time,
Or work a normal day or six hours a day or whatever and see him less,
But in the end he feels like the connection was better.
Quality time.
It's a quality time.
Yeah.
For me it's not just like quality time as in like something you do together that's quality,
It's also like skills you have.
My auntie is so good at like asking you about yourself and you feel heard and like you just connect.
She's so good at that.
So it's like a skill that she has to create that quality relationship and it doesn't matter that I don't see her all the time.
That's beautiful actually.
Yeah,
I'm all about quality time.
For me it's like actually it's my love language.
Like the way I love to give is give quality time and be there,
Focus,
Listen,
Be present.
Yeah.
Just so I feel like I've got that box ticked when the time comes where she can talk.
So now it's just like playing around and entertaining and yeah.
But yeah,
In the bigger picture,
Yeah,
I can see how that is a very powerful skill actually.
Yeah,
I think there's so many skills that we don't think about as being skills.
Like we think making something in the world,
Creating is a skill,
A physical skill,
Playing the piano is a skill.
But I think we often don't think about like having fun as a skill.
Being able to create a game out of nothing.
Sense of humor.
Sense of humor is a skill.
Empathy.
Yeah,
On the time thing,
You know,
Because having a dad is just how I often look at everything but thinking about what we evolved to be in.
Like we evolved to live in tribes where as men we'd be spending most of our time hunting,
Building,
Dealing with like real shit.
And we wouldn't necessarily be spending time with the kids directly,
But they would be observing us because we'd be right there.
We'd be building,
Hunting,
Skinning animals like right there and they could watch and then we'd spend time with them.
And that I think is something I would like to have more of.
And that's why I dream of having a farm.
It's like my kids could watch me do the stuff that I like to do by myself,
But I'm with them in a sense.
That's awesome,
Man.
That's basically my relationship with my dad.
So he's an artist and he always worked three days a week,
All part-time days.
And he always built the houses that we lived in.
And he always did stuff in the garden and painted at home.
And so my relationship with him is obviously like,
Yeah,
We talk.
We have a good like talking relationship.
But it's so vivid for me to see him painting,
Like painting a picture and me just being in the studio and like hanging out.
Or he like built a hut,
Like a big kind of like tree house,
But on the ground.
And then I made this man out of like the bits of wood that he was like off cutting.
And then he was like,
That's cool.
And so he just chucked some wire in the back.
Because I just put it together on the ground,
Like as a pattern.
And he just put some wire in the back and he still got that.
So we didn't like,
In that interaction,
We didn't talk at all.
It wasn't like,
I'm connecting with you,
Dad.
It was like,
Yes,
I'm with you,
Son.
But it was like it was,
Yeah,
It was,
It was cool.
Nice.
Yeah,
I'm very close to him.
Definitely very close to him.
Yeah,
Even watching him paint,
Like you're watching him model fulfillment,
Like fulfilling himself,
Expressing himself,
Making something useful.
Yep.
Deep thought.
Like he would,
His painting isn't just painting,
It's him thinking.
And so he would be outside there walking somewhere or in the studio and he does this thing.
And he's just thinking about what he's like created.
Like that's such a big part of my brain that like,
There's this time that you spend as a man where you're like deep in thought looking into the distance.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Just pondering.
Yeah,
Pondering,
Exactly.
And then,
Yeah.
Yeah,
I'm pretty lucky in that way.
I'm very appreciative.
Yeah.
That's cool.
I didn't even know how to relate to that.
It's so interesting.
I grew up without a dad.
So I'm like,
Yeah,
I don't have any of that in my context.
Yeah,
Right.
Did you seek male role models or,
You know,
How did that fit in your life growing up?
Not really.
I mean,
Like the men that were in my life through like my mom's partners.
No,
I kind of,
Yeah,
I didn't have any kind of relationship with them really,
I think.
Very shallow,
Very,
Yeah.
No,
I was always doing my own thing.
And then I can't say that I had like other like men role models in my life.
No.
Just hanging out with friends,
Yeah,
I don't know.
Not even like the dads of other friends or something,
Nothing,
You know.
It's just a,
It's interesting.
It's like a role that didn't need to be filled,
Didn't exist in a way.
That's interesting.
Yeah.
That's how it seems like,
Feels like.
So you've got a very blank slate in terms of your,
What would you call it,
Like pattern or whatever for being a father.
Because you didn't have that.
So you as a father,
Like you don't have so much programming around what it should be.
Like no father wound.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm sure I have like taken away things from like those,
I don't know how you call them,
Stepdads or something.
That stepped in for periods of time.
Because I do remember like things where like I didn't like,
Like I didn't want to come home from school.
Because I knew like he had a morning shift,
Which means he would be home at 1pm and I would come at home.
He would be there and I would have to eat the food he cooked.
Because he likes our garden.
I didn't like it at the time.
I don't know.
I remember those things where like,
Like I enjoyed when he was like having like the late shift because then I come home and he's not there.
I remember those patterns in me.
So there was definitely resistance to having him around and yeah.
It's interesting.
Yeah.
Blank slate.
Can I get a refill?
Yeah.
By the way,
We're drinking pulque.
I think you know most about pulque.
Yeah,
I know a little bit,
Not so much,
But yeah.
Especially a locally made,
It's from cactus.
It's agave.
Agave.
So the same as tequila,
But it's the pulque agave.
So it's like a specific agave.
Right.
That's just for this type of drink.
It's not like tequila at all.
No,
It's really not.
It's more like kombucha,
But slimy.
It's like slimy kombucha.
Slimy kombucha.
Lightly alcoholic,
Slimy kombucha.
Very healthy.
Depends on how many days you leave it.
Correct.
It can be hard alcoholic.
Hard pulque.
Do you guys want to share anything from your maps?
I can put some context.
So Francis led us through an exercise this morning that led to some fruitful conversation where he made a circle.
I'll show mine.
No one can read.
You show yourself,
Me,
And then the things that are important to you.
And we all drew different shapes,
Which I thought was really interesting.
Yeah,
So I don't know if it's visible.
Mine is like,
It feels like very left and right brain.
Like for me,
I have the very left brain side,
Like the things that I think I needed to have on the paper.
And then the right brain is like very much heart driven.
It makes me,
Gives me this spark and fulfillment.
It was interesting.
Basically,
He made us write down things that I know.
I don't know how you say it,
Like sphere of life right now,
Right?
That are important to us.
Things you have and things you want.
Things you have and things you want.
Like as in things that are in your life and things that are like that.
So like areas of your life and then around that area,
Like kind of like where you want to grow.
Like what do you want to grow into in that area?
It's like a growth.
For me,
It's funny because like in the middle,
Like so we made this,
Like in the middle,
A big circle and we wrote me and then it kind of worked free to how to,
How to put your areas of life around it.
And,
And,
And I don't know what the second stage,
How you described it.
Just elaborate more on it.
Yeah,
Almost like areas.
So I gave examples like you can put work,
You can put fitness,
You can put a love life,
You can put even like where I'm going to live or something completely random,
Piano,
Like you want to learn,
Whatever,
You know?
So just different areas of your life.
If you kind of break it down into categories so that you can then go more specific on like,
What do you want to do or why do you want to grow?
And you know,
What do you want to evolve into?
What's the next level?
What was the growth in that area specifically?
So for me,
I like,
I added an me outside of the me in the center.
I added an extra me.
And if you,
If you have seen my,
My recent social posts,
I mean,
This for me this year is like 2023 is like 20 plenty me.
We've been using like a friend of mine,
Nikki,
She's,
She started to do this like in I think 2018 or something.
It was 20 great team.
Then was 20 shine team.
Then was 20 plenty.
2020,
Well,
Plenty of shit going down.
That's a different interpretation.
Then plenty,
Plenty,
Plenty,
I don't know what was 2021,
But 22 was plenty new.
Yes,
Last year.
So this year for me,
Then it felt like plenty me,
Plenty me time,
Doing things for myself.
And it kind of plays into the same thing.
I just like what it sparked for me is like,
When I look at this,
Like,
There's a lot that I feel I need to express.
And,
Um,
Um,
This was a good reflection.
I don't know.
I don't know how much detail I want to go here.
But this like doing this right,
We're doing right now.
It's exactly what I need.
This is like,
We're thrilled.
This is like,
This is like,
Yeah,
Let's roll fucking cameras around me all day.
I've said,
I've said so many times,
I feel like I need for the next stream.
We want a specific camera.
That's close up shot.
That's what it's like.
They like close into the nose.
It's like very close.
Like the mouth.
All the emotions,
One for every part of his face,
Like an Indian movie or a zoo.
Yeah.
The big thing that came out for me that is relevant to this conversation is my desire for family pride and like tribal pride.
And we're talking about like there's evolutionary roots for that,
Especially when you have kids.
I mean,
There's an ego side to like,
If there's one of my kids look up to me,
But there's an evolutionary root of ego.
Yeah,
It's true.
It's not just like a random thing we made up.
It's every single culture ever.
I went to visit this.
Yeah,
It sounds kind of weird,
But like I went through the jungle in Chiapas.
We went to this place where some people that like,
As you call it tribe,
But people that live there that are Mayans,
They still speak Mayan.
There was one guy who spoke Spanish.
Chunky is his name.
And he was kind of like tour guide.
So there was like a few kind of outside of people that would come in to see the village and stuff,
But mainly Mexicans.
So this is in Mexico.
These are Mayan people.
And most of the tourists are Mexican tourists that speak Spanish.
So like almost no one who speaks English from outside.
I speak Spanish so I could talk to him.
And for them going half an hour away to the other villages like outside of their world.
So they're very in there.
And they're not like they're kind of hunter gatherers,
I guess.
But like they also have like have quite a developed kind of village where they live.
So maybe also a bit of like growing things and stuff.
And then they obviously have some technology that's coming from the outside world.
And you were talking about pride and ego.
And there were these two young dudes that they were in there.
And the friend of the guy who was guiding me,
We made this fire and we're hanging out.
And he started like trying to show how he was like his ego started coming out.
He's like,
Yeah,
Like I couldn't just fight.
And like he's like,
Basically,
I'm the bad boy of the village.
Like,
You know,
50 people or whatever like.
And it was like,
You know,
You go into this Mayan village in the middle of the forest in Chiapas.
They speak Mayan.
He doesn't he didn't speak Spanish.
It's off Google Maps when you're driving like the roads disappear.
It's just green.
There's like literally waiting for a walk and like,
Oh,
Don't fall down there.
This crocodile will kill you.
Like it was literally like that.
And it was still there was ego.
So it's like,
Dude,
There's ego here.
Yeah.
But I guess I mean,
I don't know about in this village.
But,
You know,
The tribe,
Especially with men,
Young boys,
There'd be a rite of passage to kind of realign your hubris with the group.
So you think you're bad ass,
But you're bad ass for the group rather than.
And we don't have that anymore.
So I got everyone who's testosterone doubt is kind of doing their own thing.
You know,
Sometimes damaging,
Sometimes that.
Yeah.
Interesting.
I'm reading this book.
I was mentioning to these guys.
It's called Moral Origins.
So it's from a Christopher Bohem is an anthropologist who studied hunter gatherer tribes that exist now and primates were evolved from.
And he wrote this very technical book called Hierarchy in the Forest,
And then he turned it into like more digestible book from mainstream people.
That's still very technical.
And I learned so much about hunter gatherer tribes from it.
And there's so many things that make so much sense,
Like what you're saying.
And when you read it,
You're like,
Fuck,
That's why we like this.
That's why it's true.
For example,
Ego thinking of better than people and then people pulling you down to the same level.
Yeah.
Like that's so base in our DNA,
Like so base.
It's almost what makes us human.
Part of what makes us human.
Yeah.
Because when we were non human before we were human,
We had an alpha who dominated everybody.
He took the woman.
He took the food.
And then say you're alpha,
We're like not alpha.
You just fucking get everything.
And if I try and fight you,
You just fucked me up.
So I don't want to fight you.
Yeah.
And so they were able to team up together.
And then,
You know,
Then the social tie became more important than your strength.
Exactly.
Because if we pull you down and our ego and then he went,
You know,
We pulled you down and I pulled you down and then I want to be up.
Then you guys just fucking get up and pull me down.
Yeah.
I think that is why like the male sense of humor,
Specifically male,
Involves like kind of busting each other's balls.
Like it's just to make sure no one thinks they're better than everyone else.
Whereas women don't do that because they don't need to.
They're not like they don't have the testosterone to want to do anything particularly overpowering or selfish.
They don't need to be mean to each other a little bit.
Yeah.
They do it in a different way.
Yeah.
It's different.
You're right.
I would say then we're checking you like,
Yeah,
It's like,
Oh,
I love your scarf.
You don't really love the scarf.
We're going to save that because you're showing,
Okay,
We're going to have a non-competitive relationship.
Yeah.
Whatever it is.
For sure.
You know what came up for me right now is like,
There's a,
Like,
Community is like generating so much knowledge,
Like all this like search for meaning.
It's all trying to answer like the why,
Like,
Why is this that way?
Like,
There's like hunger for knowledge.
And then when you have the knowledge,
I guess where I want to get to is like,
Do we really need to know all these why's?
The answers to all these why's?
Do we really need them?
Do we really need to ask those questions?
Or can we just,
What's the alternative to actually?
Do you mean what kind of knowledge?
What we're just talking about?
It's just one example,
Right?
Like you're reading this book about all this like knowledge of because now you have like all the answers to like why we are the way we are.
Does that make a difference?
The way I see it is like,
So for non-thinking creatures,
They're just like Francis said,
You're just whatever you are.
Like you're either an alpha,
You're not,
You're part of a group,
You're not,
You're going to survive or you're not.
You're just like on the program.
As thinking beings,
We could kind of skip ahead or do other things,
But sometimes we also fall out of the fulfillment rails and create more problems.
It's kind of like the volatility thing.
So a lot of us now who don't have major life issues,
Like we're not starving,
We have the freedom to think and maybe make more money,
But also create more problems for ourselves.
Which is why I like everyone in wealthy countries,
Developed nations wants to try to find ways to be natural.
Whereas developing nations,
They want the plastic,
They want the cars because they just want to get ahead.
Right.
Yeah,
It's like when you're in a festival lane,
You're just camping there for a few days.
It's like,
Let's just find some food,
Hang out.
Yeah,
And that should be enough to fulfill us.
It's pretty fulfilling.
As long as we're not starving to death,
It should be.
You have your friends,
You have your food.
That's it,
You know.
You're very present.
All this outside stuff is non-existent.
You hardly look at your phone,
Actually.
You're disconnected from news.
None of it matters.
None of it matters.
It's more like you're living in a village in Africa and you don't give a damn what the news is or what's going on in the world.
You just do your day-to-day thing.
Yeah,
It's like a very base fulfillment.
It's very rooted.
I don't know how to explain it.
Not fulfillment up here,
It's almost like primal fulfillment.
Whereas some achievement,
Mentor,
Whatever,
It's more fulfilled,
Like satisfaction.
Which is like,
I don't even know where we are here right now in terms of topics.
To continue the thread right now,
Let me just talk for myself.
When I'm seeking something,
Like an object or a journey somewhere,
An adventure or whatever it is,
Something physical,
You're seeking something.
There's something behind that and it is a state of being and emotion.
You don't want the Ferrari,
You want the feeling of being in a Ferrari.
But then even when you're doing that,
What is it that you're actually seeking?
You're seeking maybe the recognition of others.
What is it really you're seeking?
You're seeking belonging.
What is it you're seeking in that?
If you go down that thread,
The Ferrari is meant as nothing to you.
Do you feel like there's an answer to that?
You can never get to what it really is or it's just deeper and deeper?
Like you said,
Ferrari,
Recognition,
What was it?
Belonging.
Belonging and then below belonging.
Do you feel like if you keep going,
Just as you were saying,
Do you really need to know this information?
Do you really need to study all this stuff?
How deep do you really need to go or is it worth going?
Is it just like an esoterical,
Continuous process?
I feel like all the things that we seek somewhere in the future to have,
We can have them right now.
Because whatever is behind that,
That dream,
Is something that can be fulfilled immediately.
Right.
So if you go down that route of Ferrari,
Recognition,
Belonging,
And you understand that,
You can get the belonging without having to get the Ferrari.
So you don't need to go as deep as you need to go to figure out what it is you need,
Right?
What you need in the present moment.
Because you could obviously just keep going,
Belonging,
Where does that come from?
You could just end up at God.
Could we actually do this?
Because I'm seeing it go in two directions.
There's a spiritual,
I thought the answer to your question,
Survival,
That's one lens.
But let's say we all would like some gross display of wealth,
Whether it's a Ferrari.
I think that appeals to everyone.
Why belonging?
Now what's next?
Can we actually answer that?
I'm not dying.
I want to belong because I don't want to get kicked out of the tribe.
That's a survival.
But how do we,
In the other end of experiencing it now,
Not having to have the yacht or the Ferrari or the recognition.
Right.
So the question is,
What can we do to have the belonging?
What's the actual answer for us in our actual lives?
Right.
To have,
I guess,
Fulfillment is one word.
That's the thing.
The thing we're seeking,
Like,
I feel like today,
It's getting very,
Yeah.
If we take that idea of like,
We're seeking like $10 million,
Right.
As an example,
As well.
Hypothetical.
Hypothetically.
I don't know who would want to go for $10 million in this room,
Sitting on the right side of the couch.
But hypothetically speaking,
That the same feeling of what is behind that to recreate it in this moment would be for me like,
I could sit on this couch still hanging with you guys and have $10 million in my bank account.
What difference would it make?
How you feel?
Would it really change anything if I wasn't in some kind of survival,
If brain is not active?
Right now it's completely deactivated.
I don't care.
Like,
I'm fully present.
The moment I'm fully present,
Does it really matter how much,
How big the car is that stands outside the door?
Like how much is in the bank account?
How big the house is?
Well,
Is there some reality to if I have even a million pesos in the bank,
Which is $50,
000 US.
And I know I have that.
Is there some reality to I'm sitting here on the couch and just hanging and I'm present.
But I also know that the moment I step outside and I want to do X thing,
I can do it easily.
Like with the money.
Obviously,
That's not the only way to do things.
But like,
Is that a real thing in your life that would actually change that if you didn't have that,
It would be harder for you to achieve whatever it is.
Flying somewhere on time.
Potentially.
I mean,
That's like a hypothetically,
Like again,
Like a thought into the future,
Which takes it.
I have this friend,
She said such a good thing.
When you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future,
You're pissing on the present.
So it's a good point.
So all these questions are hypothetically,
They'll lead us to have to say the answers of like,
No,
We need money.
But do we need money in this moment,
In the very moment?
Right,
Right now,
In this second?
Yeah.
Right now,
I don't feel like I need any money.
I don't need anything.
But then,
You know,
That's a… So interesting.
If you think like that all the time,
At least my rational mind says that if you think like that all the time,
Then you never really get ahead.
Right.
And then one day,
Your kid wants something that is more than your bank account has and you can't.
Do it.
And that's the future.
That's the fear that drives me,
I guess.
Or maybe it's a fear,
A concern,
But that's the thing,
Like,
Because if I had $10 million,
I would know those questions are answered and I don't have to think about them.
This is actually a good topic,
Like a thing,
Like,
Because it came up earlier as well,
This like generational wealth and stuff,
Right?
Do you think it's a good idea for us to be have,
Like,
For kids to grow up with access to anything that they want at the snap of a finger?
No.
But,
Yeah,
So,
Well,
The guy who taught me about the,
He calls it the abundance model,
Where you basically spend some of your money all the time to make magic and create that feeling.
He's very wealthy also.
And he was telling me how,
And he's much older than us,
Like,
His kids know he's rich,
But he doesn't give them money because he doesn't want to rob them of the creativity that comes from,
You know,
Making money of yourself.
So he's like,
He's like kind of just there as like their safety net,
But he,
You know,
He lets them do whatever they want.
And I think he's educated them in a way that they have this creative,
You know,
Relationship to money.
And also it makes what they do matter in the world.
I remember listening to someone talking to a billionaire's son and they,
And it was very depressed and they were saying like,
Why are you unhappy?
You're like,
You have everything.
And he said,
Imagine that in your life,
Nothing that you do matters.
It doesn't matter.
You go and achieve this thing.
It doesn't matter.
You don't,
You fail.
It doesn't matter.
Like it's all just,
It doesn't matter because you already have everything.
There's no meaning to anything you do.
That's what he said.
So it's like,
But depressed basically.
Wow.
Yeah.
On the flip side though,
I think just knowing that your family's secure,
At least.
That's different though.
You know,
The difference between his billions of dollars,
Do whatever you want with,
And you're not going to die because there's a place to live in this safety.
And if you fuck up and you need 10 grand to,
Or,
You know,
Two grand to do X things so you can start working again,
I don't know.
You need to go to this place on a plane flight and rent a house for the first week to start a job.
That's very helpful.
Right?
Yeah.
This reminds me of like this concept of like,
Um,
Creativity is like for crit for creativity to flourish.
You need a,
You need a limiting factor.
Need at least one limiting factor.
Like if I ask you to create a blank canvas,
Create anything,
You'd be like,
Uh,
He's a blank canvas and there's a red Apple and you can only use color blue.
Like suddenly you get creative.
So the limitation is what creates creativity.
So having an abundance of resources,
Like any,
Like,
Like this case of this,
This,
This billionaire's son,
There's no condition.
There's no limitations.
I've seen this with family members,
Uh,
Whose mother was more wealthy and she was so used to like,
We go to the beach,
I'll rent the kayaks.
That's the fun.
We're here.
I'm going to pay for that.
That's here.
It was so used to like waiting for someone to,
To create,
To entertain them rather than creating fun because their model was to enjoy yourself.
You pay someone and they entertain you.
Oh wow.
Whereas like I'm one of us,
Sometimes we got there,
But sometimes it's like,
We're the beach,
Just like do something.
Yeah.
Oh,
This fucking cloud of sand dunes and jump off the little bit that had the tuft of dirt and made like a kind of like almost like a diving board or down onto the like angled sand on sand dunes.
And you jump out three meters out,
Go down,
Like slide down.
Yeah.
Like cousins are,
They didn't think like that.
Kids in Africa,
Man,
They're so fricking creative.
The little piece of trash literally things that they find that they built like cars from and puppets and all kinds of toys,
Man.
It's like,
It's so incredible to see.
And then it makes me think,
I'm like,
Why do I need to even buy any toys?
Right.
Kids can build toys themselves.
When I do this,
It means yes.
This is very Mexican.
Okay.
This is a Mexican thing.
Yes.
I think last time,
Like Spanish,
Speak Spanish.
Yeah.
Oh,
They're nodding their head.
I just got that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it depends on the,
What their sense of normal is too.
Like if all the kids have expensive toys and you're like,
Oh,
Just use your creativity.
It's really hard,
I think,
For a kid to accept.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which then again,
It brings to like,
There's an interesting topic because in my single life,
Or even just having,
Just with a partner,
Like you have so much choice in which communities,
In which places you want to live and stuff.
But the moment you have kids,
It's like,
Like you need to have,
You need to be surrounded by parents that have a similar enough consciousness,
Mindset around upbringing of the kids so that the kids are on a similar frequency.
Yeah.
Otherwise,
It's exactly that.
Like you try to create this like really earthy,
Connected being in an environment of unconnected other kids.
It will be like,
Mom,
Why do I have a phone?
Mom,
They can play and be on Instagram the whole day.
Why can't I be on Instagram?
Right.
Right.
Yeah,
It's been really nice.
Actually,
I don't want to say that where we live,
That's right.
But I am very glad to be in a place where basically no one is on their phones a lot.
And like,
I don't know if anybody has a TV that I've actually,
We were talking about this the other day,
Like we've been to so many houses.
I don't think a single house we've been in has a TV.
We have a TV.
Yeah.
Well,
This is an office.
It's a man cave too.
So.
It's not even connected.
It's not even connected.
It doesn't have an AC light cable.
It's all connected.
Actually,
I don't even know if I have a power cable.
Like I really just fucking don't have a shit.
We're going to get that too.
Anyway.
It looks good on the wall.
It's behind the camera.
It's an ornamental TV.
Yeah.
It doesn't work.
The black mirror,
The original black mirror.
It's watching us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of creepy actually.
Yeah,
That's why it's really,
It's beautiful to be here,
To be with families that are like-minded.
Yeah,
I just,
The,
So I think,
I guess where we're going with this line of thought is that now it becomes very important where you live.
Like the schools suddenly become the availability of the right schools.
Like I'm still like,
I'm like,
I still don't know if I want Kenneth to go to a school,
But this is the right school.
It was like,
Like build the way I would build a school.
We've been chatting about that,
Creating a school and bringing in the teacher and knowing.
Oh yeah.
So you may as well create your own school.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Or collaborate.
Like find a school that's open to you being part of the school,
Having some influence in terms of knowing,
At least knowing what's going on,
Putting some suggestions of what you would like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Man.
Or just creating one if there's none that are open to that.
Yeah,
Man.
Completely.
You could still go to school though,
Even if you don't take them to school,
It's either school of parents,
School of just other homeschool kids.
Yeah.
Some kind of like,
I also like,
Like the,
It's probably,
It's,
It's,
It's healthy to understand the other side,
The matrix.
Like it's healthy to have like probably six months a year in the matrix school.
I don't know.
I feel like there's like,
Otherwise you're like a Tarzan entering,
You know,
Yeah.
Like if you,
If you didn't know,
If you didn't,
Yeah.
Don't know anything about the system,
You have to go outside of it.
And then you try to work out how to go to another country and you need to work out visas and bureaucracy.
Oh man.
Like bureaucracy is such a skill that's so fucking useful.
We were chatting about this at lunch of like how money is a game.
And like,
If you just know the rules of how credit works and this and what loans,
Whatever,
Like that's looked at as a game where you know the rules,
You can navigate it and not get sucked in.
I guess that's true for everything.
It was visas,
Bullshit corporate suits,
Man.
Like I should really like suits cause I grew up in a place where we didn't even have a uniform.
We had to wear it to school.
Like a lot of people didn't wear shoes not because they didn't have money just because it's like do whatever you want.
And they tried to bring in a uniform when I started the high school and it was like everyone's kids were all kids of hippies and know their parents like fuck the system.
It's like the school full of people that were like,
I do the system.
And the teacher's like,
Yeah,
It's just,
It didn't,
Didn't go so well.
It took a long time for uniform kind of got adopted.
But um,
Where was I going with this?
Uh,
Yeah,
I like to wear suits because,
Because I didn't have to wear the times that I wore suits was parties like,
Um,
Like,
You know,
Like a dinner is that were like super nice,
Like just having heaps of fun and then like job interviews.
Maybe it was like an intense,
You know,
Kind of like test or whatever,
But it wasn't like bad and hate it.
And so like for me,
They're just connected to like,
I'm going to do something important.
I'm going to do something fun.
I like suits too.
Actually,
This is a weather where you can wear suits again because in Thailand you can make suits for really cheap that are good quality,
But it's so hot.
Yeah,
It's true.
Our next man summer we can man cave summer.
We can wear suits.
Yeah.
I want to use that.
Yeah.
There's an awesome guy in the city.
I was just like an hour away from him who does make suits.
Um,
And he's,
He's got like a tiny little tailor shop in the middle of the center of the city.
And it's kind of like,
It was like an experience just to go there.
I'm probably going to get my suit made for next year over there.
So I'll go with you.
Yeah.
I want to,
I want to,
I want to do something that's like crazy material.
I want to like,
I wanted to go like all out on some,
Like some Mexican color.
Yeah.
I don't know how they call this.
Um,
The,
The,
The,
Yeah,
I don't know how they call the materials here.
These cloths.
But I would like to,
If I,
If I wear a suit,
I want to be crazy.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Great.
I can match your crazy shoes.
Maybe it's just a black suit and like a really crazy colorful shirt.
That's a good option then.
Or a black shirt and like a really crazy colorful suit.
I feel like the very colorful,
Crazy shirt with the like very traditional suit is like just created that like,
Yeah.
And it also is something that can get you into places where it's like very traditional because sometimes they're guarded,
Right?
It's traditional,
Like kind of guarded groups of people,
But they still not understand.
It's like the artists that you're talking about,
The selling like crazy,
You know,
Art to like people who have a lot of money and they're like,
Fuck this guy out.
Like they want to know that guy.
Like it's almost cool for them to know it.
I was a little bit like that in uni.
I was like this weird dude from the hippie Island.
And like most of the guys in my uni were all like from the best,
This school,
This uni,
Which I went to,
They all become the politicians or the owners of all the companies in my country.
And then I was like the random hippie dude who they all kind of wanted to know.
It's like,
He's kind of crazy.
But they were all very conservative and very like straight and narrow.
I'm like,
Listen,
We'll do that.
But I like,
I don't want to be too boring.
So,
But my friend that I know,
He's kind of weird and crazy.
Like you can be that dude and you just get in there and sell.
It's interesting.
Isn't that like the phenomena with kind of internet celebrities,
So to say,
Like influencers and stuff like they're having some kind of like extra,
I don't know how to say like,
They're just extra in some sense,
Living out personalities that most people can't live out themselves.
That's why it's like so exciting to watch them because it's like they're living that part that you can't think you can't.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's the thing with the video gamers in particular.
I don't know if that was a question.
No,
I think it's a general thing.
Like,
Like,
Like there's so many weird people out there that are like super famous because they're able to express this side of them that is so exciting for us to watch because they're expressing something that,
Yeah,
We don't express,
But maybe we have a need to.
Perfect.
Like kind of physical example.
So many influencers are from X country,
But live in this other country and everyone's like,
Whoa,
Right.
Because they're doing something that the most people can't do.
And it's like they live in this life that a lot of people say,
I'd love to do that.
They don't actually want to do it.
They think they can't.
I mean,
I know a lot of people who said,
I'd love to live in Mexico,
But when I tell them like,
Hey,
You could do it.
And like,
What,
What's stopping you this?
But you just need to explain to them how they're like,
Yeah,
Yeah,
Yeah.
But no,
They kind of want to,
They want to,
But there's a fear that they don't want to overcome.
I think that's definitely true.
There's people like that,
But there's also people that like,
They actually don't want to,
But they kind of like,
I don't know.
They want to taste it.
Yeah.
There's some people that are going to go on a tour.
My mom watches travel vlog.
I didn't know who watches that,
But I guess I could,
Cause I was traveling,
But my mom watches like these families that travel and she would never actually like,
You know,
When COVID came out,
Like she was so,
Like she did basically didn't leave her house for two,
Two years.
Um,
But she loves watching people who go,
Go try everything,
You know?
Totally.
Yeah.
Maybe I'm wrong about these people as well.
Maybe they would travel,
But I just had this feeling after so many people said it to me that I was like,
I don't think all of these people actually want to do it.
Yeah.
I think it's like,
Yeah,
I don't know.
It's interesting.
Yeah.
I'm always like run on this.
I feel like deep inside they do.
And then there's a whole lot of excuses and layers and constraints,
Like tied down and like life,
Like I have life insurance here.
I have like my retirement.
If I leave for six months and I lose my retirement,
Like all these excuses,
Like the system has like sucked them,
Like,
Like it's just like sticky everywhere.
That it's just like to break out of that.
It just takes so much courage that.
That's the only truth.
Yeah.
I completely agree with that.
Yeah.
That's what I thought everyone was,
But it's just through this experience,
I think.
I got it.
I mean,
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's all.
We did it.
Yeah.
Oh,
And today's King's Day,
Which is what?
Is a Kenyan holiday?
Dude,
We need to look that up.
Where's your check GPA,
GPT thing?
Oh yeah.
Ask AI.
See what he says.
Usually we ask Google.
Apparently it's a holiday called King's Day,
Which happened to coincide with our Man Cave Summit.
Oh yeah.
I wonder if it's probably not an acknowledged like international,
I don't know.
Well,
It's too patriarchal,
I think.
Yeah.
No,
It will be probably canceled for sure.
Like,
We can't have King's Day.
What a shit show.
King's Day,
Also known as Koingsdag,
Is a national holiday in the Netherlands.
Oh,
No way.
It celebrates the birthday of the country's king.
Oh,
Come on.
Traditionally held on April 27th.
No,
That's not.
That's the wrong one.
All right,
Let's go.
What about King?
What about?
Sixth of April.
Sixth of January.
Sixth of January.
King's Day.
If it's a new thing,
This chat GPT's only got information from the internet before 2021.
It's not traditionally celebrated.
No,
It's just for a fact.
Yeah.
Try Google.
Sorry,
Chat.
Whatever.
All right,
Well,
Today's King's Day.
That's what's been decided.
That's what we know.
It's been decided.
If it's not acknowledged,
We acknowledge it.
That's what matters.
But it's King's Day.
Oh,
And there's just a future announcement.
We don't know what it's going to be,
But the three of us are planning on creating something like this.
Maybe involving video games.
So stay tuned.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cool stuff's coming.
Cool.
Thanks for tuning in.
And slate.
Cut.
I'm in.
You want a piece of me?
Take the whole thing.
Not stolen.
I give it away.
Truth ain't black and white.
Even acting right.
Right.
There's still a little gray.
I'm coming from.
Straight to your head.
