From "I Have To" To "I Get To"

What if a simple shift in perspective could change the way you experience your day? This reflection invites you to explore the quiet movement from "I have to" to "I get to," inspired by the wisdom of the Tao. Rather than offering answers, it creates space to notice your relationship with the present moment and rediscover the gift of being alive, one ordinary moment at a time.

Transcript

Thanks for joining me. I want to talk about a phrase, And the phrase is, I get to. And I want to relate it to some of Lao Tzu's teaching. I was reminded of this recently, And I find it creates an immediate shift if I allow it to. If you're anything like me, You walk around all day with the undercurrent of the thought, I have to, Like, I have to get this done. I have to make dinner. And the biggest one for me is I have to work. But listen to what that's saying for a second. I have to. And can you feel the energy of that? Now Lao Tzu obviously never said, I get to. He lived 25 centuries before that kind of language existed. But he spent a lot of time watching rivers, Which I really appreciate. And I think he noticed something that points at the same idea. A river doesn't strain to be a river. It's not lying there each morning dreading how it's going to manage the flow today. It just flows. Because that's what water does when it meets a slope. There's this idea in the Tao Te Ching called wu-wei, Which people translate a dozen different ways. But maybe the simplest version is just this, Action without fighting yourself the whole way through it. And here's the part I find really interesting. The river isn't lazy, And yet it's carving canyons, It's carrying ships and boats, And that's serious work. It's not doing it the way we often do ours, With our jaws clenched and our shoulders up, Resentful, Wishing we were somewhere else, Watching the clock. It's doing it the way water does things, Without arguing with its own nature. So if you're open to it, Just try this with me for a second. What does it feel like to say, I have to wake up? And then try, I get to wake up. Or instead of. . . I have to go to work. Or sit at this desk and drive the same road every day. Commute. I get to go to work. Does that reveal anything different to you? Does it feel different? Do you feel the difference in the I get to compared to the I have to? When you do this in the future, If you decide to, Just be aware of your body and your mind. And maybe something changes and maybe it doesn't, That's fine. But maybe something will loosen a little. Now, Because Lao Tzu was never in the business of forced positivity, And I'm not really interested in that either, I just want to say there's days when I do things like this and they just aren't true, They don't feel true. So if I say, I get to, And it feels like I'm putting on some clothes that don't fit, Then that's fine, Obviously. We don't want to force it. There's all kinds of things going on that won't work with this kind of work that I'm suggesting here. There's grief and there's exhaustion, And those things don't care how clever you frame it. And if that's where you're at today, I'm not asking you to fake gratitude that you don't actually feel. The Tao Te Ching actually leaves room for that. There's a line right at the beginning that says, The Tao you can put into words isn't the real lasting Tao. Basically, Don't fully trust anyone, Including me. Who claims to have this all wrapped up in a phrase. Sometimes the truest thing you can say is, This is where I'm at. All that said, I do find when I've been practicing this phrase, Especially because I've been really conscious of it the last couple days, Is that I do sense a shift. And especially when I'm confronted with work and I say, I get to do this work. Are you beginning to see a bit of a pattern here when it comes to me and work? But I immediately sense some appreciation and gratitude. We're in the midst of moving, And there's all kinds of things that I have to do that I'm not particularly excited about. But when I say, I get to move, I immediately think of the benefits of where we're moving to. It's like the have-tos take a back seat to the I get to. So I want to invite you to give this a try today. Just pick an ordinary task. Or maybe something that you're dreading just a little bit, Or something where you normally say, Or where you say, I have to, Or maybe you're thinking, Oh, I have to do this. This would be a time to give this a try. And just gently say, I get to do this, And see what emerges. Don't try to force an answer or a feeling. Just be open. Underneath all the striving and our to-do lists and our. . . Have twos. There might be something else going on that's been carrying us. This entire time. I'm not going to name it because. . . Lao Tzu wouldn't name it. It's there not because we've earned it, But just like the river, It's just there and always flowing. So, Maybe today. See if you can find a little less have to. And a little bit more, I get to.

Reviews

Thank you Rod, that was very encouraging 💜🙏