How To Build Self-Discipline For Success

Have you ever said, “I should…” but didn’t do anything about it? No need to lie; the answer is yes. You are not alone! There was a time when I wanted to be healthy, but I didn’t want to pay attention to my nutrition. I wanted to be fit, but I didn’t want to work out. I wanted to be successful, but I didn’t want to do the things that lead to success. So I did like everybody else; I complained. Self-discipline involves setting clear goals, prioritising tasks, and following through on commitments, especially when faced with challenges or distractions. But that is just a boring definition; listen to this interview with my husband and gain some powerful insights!

Transcript

It's important to have self-love,

But be careful to not use self-compassion or self-love to justify your lack of self-discipline.

In today's episode,

We're going to talk about self-discipline.

So can you explain to us what is self-discipline and why is it important to have self-discipline to achieve success?

Self-discipline is the ability to control your behavior and make the choices that are going to lead you to fulfill your long-term goals.

Now,

Why is that important?

Because success doesn't just happen.

Sometimes we wish we could just click on a button and oh yeah,

Success is coming.

The thing is,

It doesn't really happen.

And well,

In some ways,

It would not be so great because if you would be instantly successful,

The reward or the victory or the pride would not be as sweet as it is when you really do the work.

I think a simple example would be,

You see a beautiful mountain,

You want to climb down the top.

There's two ways.

There is one,

The preparation,

Looking for the mountain,

Creating the plan,

Training,

And then the whole journey to get there.

And then you finally at the top,

You scream,

You're there,

You're proud,

You're happy,

Or you get dropped by an helicopter.

Although you're on the top,

It's the same,

But the feeling is different.

Now,

There is something that people don't really understand is that I meet a lot of people who are like,

Oh,

Freedom is one of my values.

So I'm going to stay away of self-discipline.

I don't want to have rules.

I don't want to restrict myself.

Well,

This is the mistake because self-discipline is actually giving you freedom.

Oh,

Wait,

Now you're going too fast.

So you say self-discipline is equal to freedom.

I mean,

For me,

It sounds self-discipline is all these rules and I need to do routines and habits,

And it sounds really restricted.

What is that freedom?

Yeah,

On the other side of self-discipline,

There is freedom.

I think one of the best examples is to say,

If you want to have financial freedom,

You need financial discipline.

If you want to have freedom of moving your body the way you want to,

Well,

You're going to have discipline in the nutrition and the movement and your routine,

Et cetera.

So discipline breeds freedom because the thing is,

When you start doing something,

It's a bit hard at first,

Like every new habit,

But when you start doing it more and more,

There is a moment you don't have to think anymore.

You start doing things automatically.

And this is something that we learned in the military.

Self-discipline is really an important part of our training.

And as much as frustrating that it is when you go through the training,

You realize after a while,

Well,

You know what?

I don't need to think anymore.

Okay,

But it doesn't sound like freedom to me because you're saying,

Yeah,

I need to clean my shoes.

I need to do this.

I need to do that.

It sounds like a lot of pressure on myself to reach this freedom.

Can I just do whatever I want?

Well,

If you do whatever you want,

You really keep following your emotions.

And if you follow your emotion,

It's biased.

I mean,

You're not going to be able to only make emotional decisions every single day.

That's not going to lead you to your long-term success.

Why?

Because first of all,

Our brain is wired to be lazy.

We want to conserve energy.

So as much as possible,

We're going to try to not do things that are too difficult.

Secondly,

We really don't like uncertainty and discomfort.

We want to stay away from pain and suffering as much as possible.

And we want to go towards pleasure.

It means that if you want to have a better body or if you want to build a successful business,

Your brain is not really going to help you in doing all the hard things that's required to do to get there.

Now,

It doesn't have to be hard,

But yes,

It is challenging because you're going to have to do things differently.

You're going to have to learn new things.

You're going to have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations.

Let's say the first time you go to the gym or the first time that you learn to cook something differently,

Or if it's for your business,

Start networking with people,

Starting to create a website and put yourself out there.

I mean,

All of those steps are very uncomfortable.

So if you follow your emotions,

You're going to be like,

I don't really feel like doing that.

And I think every entrepreneur that are watching the show now can definitely say,

Yeah,

I keep doing things that I don't really feel like doing because this is also part of it.

And so if you don't build a self-discipline,

You just let yourself behave emotionally,

And that's absolutely not going to lead you to the success that you want to create.

Okay,

But does this mean now like self-discipline like every day of the rest of your life?

Or can you be a bit flexible with this?

Now,

It depends what you want to achieve.

Now,

I think when we look at self-discipline,

It's always challenging at first because it's creating a new habit,

Right?

So you need to wire your brain differently.

But there is a moment you don't have to think anymore.

I don't need to make a decision to go to the gym every day.

I don't need to.

It's automatic.

I don't need to make a decision every time like,

Oh,

I'm going to learn something,

I'll pick up a book.

No,

It's automatic.

I don't need to think.

So I can focus all my brain power for something else.

But isn't it that those decisions that you made,

Those habits that you create,

I can see myself doing that when I'm feeling happy and I'm like motivated,

I'm full of energy of whatever goal it is.

But those days that I'm feeling low or not really interested or a little bit down,

It's hard to then be focused on self-discipline because actually,

You just want to do nothing that day.

Yeah.

And this is why self-discipline is key,

Because everybody can do everything when we feel motivated,

Full of energy,

On the top of the wave,

You know.

But this is in the moment when things are becoming a bit more difficult,

When it's challenging,

When it's hard.

And this is the moment that self-discipline needs to be in place.

So you keep,

You stay in motion.

If you stop being in motion,

You lose the momentum.

And then one day falling in another and another,

And then I'm going to quit.

Well,

That's exactly what I experienced in my journey,

That exactly what you're saying and describing,

It's you're getting out of these habits,

These routines,

And then it's getting less and less.

So how do you get back up?

Because I also want to be compassionate to myself to say,

Whoa,

You're just going through hardship right now.

It's okay.

It's going to come back.

You're going to pick yourself back up and get back in the self-discipline and the routines and whatever,

But just not right now.

You should not be too hard on yourself.

This is something we hear everywhere.

And I do agree,

We should show our self-compassion,

Self-love,

And it's really important for self-esteem and also to stay in the game on the long term.

I'm more a person being very hard on myself because it helps me move forward.

And I want to share to everyone that it's important to have self-love,

But be careful to not use self-compassion or self-love to justify your lack of self-discipline.

To say,

I'm not doing what I should be doing,

But that's okay.

I should not be too hard on myself.

There is a moment when,

Yeah,

You should give yourself some room and you don't need to be a dictator of your own life.

That's not what I mean.

But let's say that you start with this,

I'm starting with a new workout routine and then you plan to go to the gym four times a week.

And one week you do only one.

You go once and then you're like,

Ah,

But you know what?

I worked hard this morning.

That's fine.

Oh,

Yesterday my workout was really intense.

So it's fine if I don't go today.

We all have those voices in our head,

Right?

For sure,

We have those voices.

But the problem is that if you don't go over that feeling,

So this is basically your emotions telling you,

I don't feel like doing it.

If you don't go over that,

You lose the momentum completely.

And you justify your destructive or not ideal behavior by saying,

I should not be too hard on myself.

So I would be very careful to not confuse self-compassion and self-discipline.

And I want to say it again,

Success doesn't just happen.

You're just going to get clear about what you want.

We cannot have pretty much everything we want if we commit to do it.

Now,

What I don't like is making excuses or complaining about what we don't have and not doing anything to get there.

This is wasting your time.

Building more self-discipline is very simple.

Remember your goals,

Act accordingly.

Repeat.

If you just do that,

You're going to move forward.

You're going to go far.

If every time you don't feel like doing it,

You remember what you want to do and why you want to do it,

It just puts you back on track.

Now,

It's important in this idea,

Okay,

This is a bit simplified,

But first of all,

It's choosing goals that matter to you.

Why do you want to do that?

Why is that important?

What is the cost of not doing it?

Are you ready to struggle for it?

Now,

When you have all those questions clear,

This is going to give you the motivation to start.

Motivation comes from motive.

It means to have a reason for doing something.

So motivation would get you started,

But it's not enough.

On the way,

You're going to be going a bit left and right sometimes,

And you're going to have to tap into your willpower to get back on track.

Now,

Willpower is not infinite.

You cannot base yourself on willpower to get somewhere because eventually,

It's going to get empty.

You're going to get tired,

Right?

People say willpower is like a muscle.

There's a moment it stops working if you overwork it.

So willpower is going to help you to get back on track,

But if you want to succeed,

You need sustained action over a long period of time.

And self-discipline is going to help you to do that.

So would you say self-discipline is the key to achieve success,

To achieve whatever you want in life?

I think Jim Rohn is saying self-discipline is the bridge between your goals and your accomplishment.

Something very close to that.

It's very the bridge that's going to help you to have this idea and know you're going to get there.

Now,

There are a few things that are helping for self-discipline.

Your environment,

Your internal and external environment.

Maybe you need to change a few beliefs about yourself.

That's going to help you to keep moving forward.

Or you need to be careful with the people you spend most of your time with.

Or maybe,

Like if you want to go to the gym,

It's easier to have the gym bag that is ready by the door every time that you need to go instead of having to drag yourself.

And then you can make the process easier by making sure that your environment is supportive to your goals.

Then lastly,

It's having people around you that can really help you in times of hardship.

It can be in your marriage,

But it can be friends,

It can be a professional like a coach or someone that is there to support you when you feel like not doing it.

Or an app like a reminder on your phone,

Right?

Yeah,

That could work as well.

So motivation will get you started.

Willpower will help you to go back on track when you go a bit left and right.

And self-discipline is the thing that's going to help you to reach your goals.

Now as much as self-discipline is hard at first,

Remember that the pain of self-discipline will never be as great as the pain of regrets.