Reflections on love,
Life,
Loss,
And forgiveness.
The Proposal.
I was 21 years of age when my love proposed over the phone.
He called from a remote northern fly-in camp telling me that he had returned from being lost in the woods with a group of youth.
There was a pause in static and then he proceeded to explain.
While he wandered in search of finding his way out,
He realized that I was home.
And he told himself that if he ever found his way out that he would call and commit to a life together and propose that we embark to journey as one.
I said yes without hesitation.
This was the start of a life together which had a very rocky start filled with loss,
Grief,
Struggles,
Suffering,
And eventually leading to separation and divorce.
In the end,
We share a child and later we shared a grandchild together.
We also shared a common vision to make the world a better place.
The shared vision would endure separation,
Divorce,
And even death.
My husband and I grew up together.
We evolved together and then apart.
My ex-husband grew up to be a grief specialist.
And after his untimely passing at age 47,
I found the grief talks and lectures which he shared the grief from our early days together.
This was a gift.
Many were left in shock and disbelief following his sudden unexpected death,
Myself included.
The grief that an ex-partner experiences can be explained as disenfranchised grief.
And it has many challenges.
I would later learn from my daughter,
My adult daughter,
That just prior to my ex-husband's passing,
He shared our proposal story with her.
He told her that that event radically changed and altered his life for the better.
He said that it altered his life course for the better.
So in the end,
In the end,
There was no regrets.
Only love.
In the end,
There was forgiveness and a legacy of love for others and the family that we created.
Life doesn't always happen as we plan and nothing is certain.
I do know this,
That life is rich and full.
That proposal changed and altered my life as well.
Because I said yes.
Yes to life and love,
Even though I was uncertain of my path at the time.
Love called and I bravely answered.
