Love It To Leave It

In this wise talk, Jamilia shares how you can let go in the presence of love, not the absence of it. When we are ready to exit a situation, we feel frustrated, angry, and unsettled. It is necessary for us to make peace with the experience by learning from it. The divine uses all of our experiences to grow us, particularly adverse ones. Not learning from the experience only sets you up to experience it again, so it is best to take the time to "love" it with honor, grace, and self-reflection.

Transcript

Love it to leave it.

I know the expression is love it or leave it.

Indeed,

If you are looking to get away from a situation,

An event,

Or even a person,

Then it is a pretty sure bet that you don't love it at all.

If you did love it,

Then why would you leave it?

Briefly,

Let me explain what love truly is.

Love is acceptance.

It is the ability to look at the situation for what it is and accept it as truth.

Love is non-resistant.

Love is peaceful.

Love possesses a certain clarity.

It is this kind of love I emphasize because the only way to truly move away from something or someone is to be able to experience that loving peace as you transition away and onto your next experience.

But this situation has me angry,

Frustrated,

Bitter,

Put out and out done.

There is a lot of power in holding onto those emotions.

The hot intensity makes you feel sharp and focused.

You can almost taste the disdain in your mouth as you collect justified reason after justified reason for why you are done with this.

But that's my point.

If you are not able to embrace the love,

Find the peace,

You will not be done with this.

Or rather,

It will not be done with you.

And if you've lived long enough,

Then you know the sorrow of defiantly leaving that situation just to encounter it again in the form of a new job,

New location,

Or a new person.

When we find ourselves in a difficult to unbearable situation,

Our instinct is to fight or flee,

Whatever it takes to shorten the length or dampen the intensity of the experience.

I implore you to shift your perspective a bit.

The fact that you are experiencing this discomfort is a divine sign that you are either lacking or not utilizing a skill or trait that will help you manage the situation.

Essentially,

You have come to the end of your peace,

And it is time to expand.

And though you may groan at the timing of it all,

Look sharp.

This moment is divinely arranged,

Thus the timing is perfect.

Your ability to grow in this moment will not only expand your peace,

But you will gain a skill or trait that will soon be relevant after the moment has passed.

So how to go about this love it or leave it process?

1.

Honor where you are.

Often,

When we are ready to leave something,

Or someone,

Behind,

We start to neglect it.

We are less tidy when we know we are in the final months of our apartment lease and we are not renewing.

We are certainly less diligent about meeting work responsibilities when we've submitted our two-week notice.

And,

In that relationship,

We may be a bit more distracted,

Reducing the amount of time spent together in anticipation of a breakup.

So instead of neglecting it,

Honor it.

Refusing it is a sign of gratitude for the experience.

Remember,

At one point,

That person,

That circumstance,

Was exactly what you prayed for.

It's okay that you feel you've grown beyond it or that it turned out to not match your inner desire.

But without that experience,

You would not have gained this new clarity.

So despite the frustration and disappointment,

Show gratitude and honor the remainder of your experience.

2.

Develop grace.

When we're in the midst of a frustrating situation,

It is hard to see the value of it.

Every day seems to bring a new problem.

And you spend each day in survival mode just trying to make it through,

But the days are getting more stressful.

This is a good time to start developing grace.

Grace is the combination of patience,

Empathy,

And reflectiveness.

You are,

Essentially,

Making changes to yourself and your perspective rather than waiting for the external circumstances to change.

Whether you choose to pray,

Meditate,

Or take long walks,

You'll know grace has arrived when you can view the situation with calmness.

Once you're calm,

You will recognize that your source of strength and peace are within the Divine and therefore limitless and unconditional.

You will subtract your awareness of the distressing and be able to focus on your Divine transition to the next level of your experience.

3.

Reassess your investment.

When we're ready to exit,

We blame any and all parties,

But we rarely blame ourselves.

Sometimes we just become slackers.

Nothing makes us stronger than adversity,

But nothing dulls our senses like comfort.

You fight to get to a certain level.

You develop a certain strength.

But once your experience starts to normalize,

You seek out shortcuts.

You used to get to work an hour early and leave an hour late.

That diligence got you a promotion and greater responsibility.

But now,

You just show up on time and maybe leave an hour before anyone else.

Gradually,

You start to complain that the workload is too much.

The work didn't change.

You did.

You started acting out of laziness and now you're overwhelmed.

So before you blame the external,

Check the internal.

Your difficulties may stem from you trying to achieve grand results by putting forth minimal use of your skills.

Whatever it took to get you to a certain level is precisely what it takes to stay there.

So reassess and recommit.

Our Creator provides the path to our elevation when we are ready.

In order to elevate,

We must develop and maintain gratitude,

Grace,

And commitment.

With these traits,

You may lovingly decide to stay or lovingly take your leave.

Reviews

This is a helpful reframing. Way to promote personal accountability!

Wonderful as usual. Would you be able to make one like this appropriate for a “public high school students in the public school audience “? Namaste

I really enjoy your insights and thoughts. Thank you.

I love the clarity you give to these situations. Thank you for your perspective. It makes so much sense.

Very true, with God's help I will learn to face adversity and move when he says move.

This was right on time!!!! Thank you!!

Many excellent truths well spoken - I have stored up some phrases to remember. Thank you.

One of those things that makes you say ‚yes I know that‘ when you only think about it. However, having her speak it out has a so much deeper effect. I feel the peace in this.

Gratitude, Grace and commitment! GGC! Divine timing on this one💜. Wonderful words of wisdom and insight🙏. Thank you and Namaste 🕉

Beautiful wisdom clearly delivered. Thank you kindly Jamila 🙏💛

Definitely a bookmarker, Thank you for your wisdom 🙏🎈🎈

Amazing! Just what I needed to hear. Gratitude, Grace and Commitment ❤️

Wow! That was a a wake up call!
I was browsing through the list of meditations to center a confused mind and found you.
Thank you for the enlightenment as I now understand clearly. You are the messenger! A bookmarker! 🙌🌹🙏

Divine intervention! Thank you 🙏🏽

Deep wisdom I needed to hear. Thank you for caring & sharing 🙏🏼 bookmarked for the reminder I know I’ll return for 💝

This was a gentle yet firm reminder for me today. I loved this message & delivery. Thank you!

Amazing. Thank you. This is just wonderful and I needed it today trying to accept someone leaving and their horrible way of doing so. Blaming it all on me and trying to destroy me in the process. I get more of both sides now and can finally begin to understand to accept and grow and move on. Thank you so much. I need to listen a few times I’m sure but thank you.

Profound spot on advice. This helped me greatly w/a relationship. 🙏🏼🌈🙏🏼

Just what I needed (of course)!

Wonderful! 🙏✨💗