Do I Have To Be A Christian To Be A Good Person?

Often people can become defensive of their religious orientations (or lack thereof). In my life, I have observed many instances of Christians talking with non-Christians about converting to the faith. The common response I have observed is "I may not be a Christian, but I'm a good person." So, I wanted to share my understanding as it relates to the question of being "good" if one chooses to be a Christian or not.

Transcript

Hello everybody. This is Jamila Perry and welcome to my podcast, Help My Unbelief. And for those of you who are unfamiliar with this podcast, Help My Unbelief is about discussing biblical principles and talking about some of the more challenging aspects of being a Christian. I myself am a Christian woman and I encourage anyone and everyone to listen to the podcast but just know that I tend to focus on Christian principles. So today's episode is centered around this question, Do I have to be a Christian to be a good person? And the reason why I chose this topic is because throughout my life I've seen a lot of tension, A lot of defensiveness between Christians and non-Christians. I've had direct conversations with people, I've made observations of other conversations between other groups of people and I just noticed this level of defensiveness. People become very very defensive when it comes to their religious position. Whether they subscribe to a particular path or whether they don't subscribe at all. People become very defensive when it comes to having that conversation even though we're all on our individual life paths. I know and this is in my observations, I know with Christians, People who identify as Christians, Christians can get defensive about being a Christian when either we're being challenged in our beliefs, Some people can become defensive, Or Christians can become defensive when they are trying to convert other people to Christianity, Trying to convince them about all of the the merits and the wonderfulness of being a Christian. You know sometimes that conversation can get a little heated and people can get a bit defensive inside of that conversation. By the same token, People who don't subscribe to Christianity, They can become defensive as well. They become defensive of their life position. Certainly if someone's trying to convert you, That can be a really tough conversation and ultimately the person who does not subscribe to Christianity ultimately says, Hey you know I might not be a Christian but I'm a good person. I've heard that statement made several times along the way and so I felt like I really wanted to talk about that just from my perspective. This is only my opinion because they're absolutely right. They may not be a Christian but they're good people. They lead good lives. They don't do any harm. They're kind. They're compassionate. You know they're nice people and so the question is well do I have to be a Christian to be a good person? Does my goodness have to be defined by Christianity? So the short answer to that question is no. You don't have to be a Christian to be a good person but I'm not going to end the podcast here. We're going to keep discussing this. So yes the short answer is no you don't have to be a Christian to be a good person and I'm coming from my personal perspective. I know there are many perspectives out there about goodness in Christianity. These are my personal observations. So the first thing I observe is that the label Christian does not make anybody good. Now there are certain wonderful things that come along with being a Christian but as far as behavior, As far as the treatment of other people, Labeling me Christian does not automatically throw me in the good category. Okay and by the same token the absence of the label of Christian if you don't have the label of Christian that does not automatically throw you into the category of evil. Okay because because we all know and we have all experienced the person who does not identify as a Christian and they lead very kind pleasant lives. People love them. They're very loving and compassionate to other people. They don't necessarily identify as Christian but they are good by this and on the other half of the coin we've known plenty of Christians whose behavior and mannerisms are quite questionable who make you wonder are you sure you're a Christian because something between your behavior, Your demeanor, And the Bible doesn't quite add up. So the label alone does not exclude or include anyone into the good category. That's my first observation mainly because you know in our individual lifetimes or at least I want to emphasize that in our individual lifetimes we achieve different levels of understanding about the divine. You know some people might choose to subscribe to a particular orientation that comes with its particular sacred texts like Christianity, Buddhism, Hinduism. Some people may choose to develop their understanding of the divine by walking a particular path. Some people may choose to be more eclectic. They might review some Christian principles, Review some Buddhist principles, Review some some Hindu principles and kind of develop their understanding of the divine that way by not just being limited to one particular perspective. And there are yet and still other people who may not want to acknowledge a deity at all. They might not acknowledge any kind of divinity at all but might instead prefer to subscribe to a moral code and that's how they choose to live their lives. So we're all different. We're all different and we have all have our individual paths that we walk and we all have our own way of making sense of the world and and we all have our own way of understanding what is good. We have our different motivations. We have our different driving factors that push us to be quote unquote good. And we also have to remember that God loves all of us. Okay God God extends what what I've read is called common grace. Common grace being that basic favor of taking care of us whether we acknowledge God or not. So so whether we we act like angels one day and then we act like jerks the next day God loves us unconditionally meaning no conditions no if ands or buts not okay I'll love you but you've got this 90 day window to become a Christian and then I won't love you anymore. That's not how God operates. God loves all of us. In the Bible it talks about how God reigns on the just and the unjust. Now just a side note when the Bible talks about rain they're not talking about anything negative. You got to remember that that in this agricultural based society rain is always a good thing rain is always a good thing so so when the the scripture says that it rains on the just and the unjust which I believe is is Matthew 5th chapter within the 43rd to 48 verses when God says that he rains on the the just and the unjust he means he gives favor to everybody we are all his creation there there's not this selective the selectivism it's a common grace it's it's a kind of a common foundation that we all have with God and this grace is there just so everybody can experience God's unconditional love because just as God loves all of us we all have the opportunity to acknowledge God we all have the opportunity to come to get to know God so so God doesn't withhold his love until you look up and realize you're out in the cold and then you come you know desperately banging on the door and then God lets you in no God keeps us all warm God keeps us all warm whether we acknowledge him or not and then at some point in time in life there's that opportunity where you like you know what let me let me get a better understanding of this this God of this divine nature you know let me understand what's happening here and we all have that opportunity so God's love is essentially a perfect love unconditional no conditions and it gives us all the opportunity to acknowledge him at some point in time in life whether you acknowledge him at age 10 age 20 age 95 we God's grace God's common grace is offered and available and consistently applied to every single one of us because God loves every single one of us and this is not a manipulative love as I said it's not that God will love you for a certain period of time and then withdraw his love and then force you to kind of come back looking to get back into the club it doesn't work like that God is good to all of us even if you never give him the credit God is good to all of us all the time so no you do not have to be a Christian to be a good person and no you don't have to be a Christian to be a recipient of God's love and I want to extend out to my fellow Christians a couple of reminders we as Christians as we study and even within Christianity there are different levels of understanding and I do want to acknowledge that but as we as Christians have this understanding of God's perfect love then it's our responsibility God calls us to reflect that love not to judge okay so so even though we are crushed Christians and and even though we have a strong recognition of who God is and God's nature according to our level of understanding we have that we have that recognition of God we're called to reflect the love the love not to judge people who may or may not be acknowledging God just like we do so that's my first reminder our responsibility is to love not to judge and we also need to recognize that God draws people to himself it is it is not our and I'm gonna try to find the best way to phrase this I know that in our Christian walk we are encouraged to engage in this act called soul winning when souls to Christ and and yes that is a noble thing to do within context of reflecting God's love being empathetic compassionate kind long-suffering you know reflecting the nature of God so that as people come to know us and they come to experience us they can ask the questions but sometimes the the concept of winning souls can be become this aggressive behavior aggressive meaning no you go out and you're you know hitting people with information that they didn't necessarily ask for it can become a confrontational thing in a person's in a Christian's exuberance to to get a another person to turn their lives over to Christ and and to acknowledge Christianity the exuberance can be translated into a bit of aggression on the part of the person who didn't ask for the information I'm trying to find very delicate ways to describe this because there's nothing wrong with going out and witnessing going out and and talking to people about God but as a Christian as me as a Christian woman talking to my fellow Christian there's a way to do it and in such a way that the other person is receptive of the conversation but sometimes you know we become super aggressive about oh we got we got to get this person in here we got to get we got to do this and so I just want to remind the fellow Christians that it is God that draws people in not not us so so not Jamila Jamila cannot go out and convert ten people okay I if people if ten people are converted it's not because of me I'm sure I didn't say anything special I'm sure I didn't do anything special except reflect God's love if ten people are converted is because God was already working on them and God draws them in and I happen to to be part of that larger plan to to help these people or these ten people come to the understanding of the love of God but it's not me so so Christians please be reminded that it's God that draws people in so if a person does not receive your conversation if a person it's just not receptive to your explanation of Christianity or or your your personal story regarding your personal turn to Christianity if a person is not receptive of that that's okay that's that's really okay the person is not lost because they didn't receive your story because they didn't convert by your influence it's really okay God sees all of us God loves all of us and God knows what each and every one of us needs to understand to to be able to God let me say that again God knows what each and every one of us needs in order to understand him so as a Christian if someone rejects your conversation it's really okay it really is and just to kind of stay on that just a little bit longer like I said as Christians we don't have to hound people and I really emphasize that because I've observed that I've been on the receiving end of that of a Christian being so exuberant that they didn't realize that that I was also a Christian and and I know how I felt in that conversation and if I were not a Christian I would not be interested in becoming one because like I said some not all of us some can become extremely aggressive and exuberant in our desire to convert people over to Christianity based on what I've observed based on what people who are not Christians have told me because they consider me friends and I consider them friends you know that the conversation can become very very awkward you know you have a you have this person coming up to you a stranger coming up to you asking you do you believe in Jesus do you are you are you saved are you you know asking whatever those introductory questions are and and I and again this is just Jamila's perspective that's a very invasive question that I that's a very invasive question you don't know me you haven't asked me my name you you walk up to me and you immediately ask me such a personal question I and I know that people have their different perspectives on this that you know if you do believe in Jesus you should be able to say so I myself am a very private person if you ask me that question my response is going to be why are you asking me that yes I love Jesus yes I am a Christian but I'm not gonna immediately tell you that because I need to understand who it is I'm talking to and I think that you know I think that's a common I think that would be a normal response a stranger walks up to you asks you a very personal question you at least want to know this stranger's name you want to know why they're asking you this particular question but again based on things I've observed based on what people have told me you know you're asked this question rather aggressively you get quizzed on your life and the way that you live it you're quizzed on your understanding of God because even if you say you you do understand God no they want to understand this this stranger this person who's still a stranger wants to know what what you understand about God and there because it's almost like they're looking for you to say something that's a misunderstanding or a non-christian perspective or something so they can jump in and say aha this is why you need to be a Christian and depending on the enthusiasm of the person who's trying to convert if the conversation gets rejected then whether out loud or or in in one person's thoughts the person who's rejected becomes called a heathen that's really not fair the as a Christian as Christians we do we are not judges our only responsibility is to love our only responsibility is to reflect God's nature we do not have the option of calling anyone a heathen we do not have the option of deciding whether or not someone is worthy of God and God's love just because they rejected what you said in the moment or in the way that you said it in fact I want to go so far and and I know it sounds like I'm being really hard on my fellow Christians because I am because because Christianity is wonderful it is this understanding of God is wonderful but it takes time and it takes study and for someone who does not hold this particular view to bombard a person and then mistreat them is is not a reflection of Christian way and it's not a reflection of Christian value and it makes it very hard for those of us who are Christians who do not approach people in that manner we get judged based on the experiences that that people who are not Christians have had and so I do want to speak very directly very specifically to my fellow Christians about you know at like I said at the end of the day God draws everybody to himself it doesn't have to be you it doesn't have to be me we can play a role as God directs it in in the conversion of a person but it's you don't have to be so gung-ho that that you become aggressive and then you become defensive when a person doesn't receive what you're saying in fact and I would encourage you to go back and read your Bible in fact if you use the power of your understanding of Christianity if you use the power of your understanding of God to make a person feel powerless to make them feel like if they don't convert right now this second they are worthless if we use the power of our understanding of Christianity the power of our understanding of God to manipulate a person into feeling like they can never come to God unless they come through us then God will champion that person against you and that is directed in the Bible any mistreatment of any of God's people and remember we are all God's people God will become the advocate and the champion of the person who is being mistreated so please please as you are going out and about and as you are spreading the Word of Christ and as you are sharing with with people please please be careful and how you present yourself and please be careful to not step ahead of God because you might be used for just one moment in this person's lifetime you might only be needed for one prayer you might only be needed for four to hand out one pamphlet to give one smile and that might be the only role you play in that person's life as they are experiencing everything as God is working with them you might only play one teeny tiny role so make sure to be careful that you don't consider yourself to be the converter the the one who helps this person go into Christianity and to not walk ahead of God and as I shared before I'm gonna get off my soapbox as I shared before I've been on the receiving end of someone trying to convert me to Christianity and and the funny thing about it is that I've been a Christian all of my life it's not something that I've come to in my later years I typical story I grew up in the church my dad is a pastor so so I've been in the church I've been around the Bible I've been in Christianity all of my life now as I've come into my adulthood of course I've done more studying and I've deepened my understanding but but the hilarity of this story is that someone tried to convert me now I don't know what I look like to other people I will tell you quite honestly I don't know if it's my hair color I don't know if it's the way I dress I tend to stay in you know jeans and sneakers I don't I don't know what it was that whoever this other person was they not to be funny but this was funny they kind of put on their Christian hat they squared their shoulders and they approached me with the mission of converting me over to Jesus Christ and they asked me the opening question do you know Jesus and so I knew the situation for what it was and and so I said well yes I do that was not good enough the continue and then the conversation continues and the the hammering of Bible facts continue and I didn't lose patience with the person I continue to listen to them and I nodded and I told them yes yes I know all of these things and I think in the exuberance of this individual they didn't realize nothing in them clicked to say I'm talking to a fellow Christian even as I expounded on whatever it was they were talking about even as I shared my perspective and tried to have this equal conversation with a fellow Christian it never occurred to them until much much later in the conversation that they were talking to a fellow Christian and that's what I mean by that kind of that blind exuberance you never know who you're talking to you know you you never know and so so let the conversation be natural let let your behavior do more of the talking than your mouth and let and best bet let somebody ask you okay when I go places and I'm conducting myself as I do most people will ask questions really just based on my behavior I had when I was back in my undergraduate years and I would leave the dorm very early in the morning to go to church I had one person ask where do you go every morning well that's an opportunity to talk about it you know or times at work when things are extremely stressful and and you know at the time I worked in the psychiatric facility and you know sometimes you know patients as they're going through their struggles it can be very hard on the staff as well as for the individual themselves going through what they're going through and I would have co-workers ask me how are you so calm how are you able to be positive how are you able to endure and then there's an opportunity to kind of talk about it you know so I don't have to hit anyone over the head that I'm a Christian and even when I do discuss it I discuss it within the context of what's going on let the conversation be natural and then at the very least as people have more questions they will ask them as they are comfortable with you so now to kind of transition into the the last portion of this okay because just to remind everyone the original question was do I have to be a Christian to be considered a good person and no you don't so then of course the the other half of the question would be then why am I a Christian why be a Christian if I can be a good person no matter what I'm doing if God loves me no matter what I'm doing then why why be a Christian why subject myself to living by these certain standards why suggest my subject myself to these belief systems and and holding myself accountable when everyone else is just running wild and free why be a Christian if God loves me anyway if I can be a good person without being a Christian why do it well I can only give you my perspective and there are many each person has their own reason for me being a Christian is about being able to embrace a certain wisdom and a certain understanding and having that wisdom and that understanding is what brings peace and joy to me now I'm a person that enjoys formal training so so I'm not a fan of learning things on the floor on the fly I'm not a fan of learning things by accident or by random experience I like to have kind of a formal way of learning things a formal way of doing things so for me I find it that it's an advantage to have a text to have a Bible that explains the nature of God explains God's expectations on his spiritual principles so that as I'm going through my life experience I have this understanding of what it is I'm going through of what it is I'm experiencing I have a reference point I have a guide and for me that's very reassuring I have a one source of reassurance I have one source of affirmation and I don't have to run around collecting validation and I don't have to run around collecting a bunch of different perspectives to help me get through each moment of my life I have one path and I'm gonna be quite honest with you the reason why I like Christianity I love it the reason why I am a Christian is because my goodness gets tested a lot my goodness gets tested a lot and so for me having that foundation it keeps me from giving in to my own flawed nature or even if I do give in I at least have a standard that I can realign with when I kind of come to myself because you know being a human beings some things are gonna get to me even as I'm walking with God so at least part of the reason why I'm a Christian is because I have a standard that I can adhere to I have a standard that I can hold on to when my flawed self wants to do something different and I have a standard that I can return to if I do step away and I also I like the idea I am absolutely enthralled by the idea of not having to rely on my own physical strength and my own willpower to try to get through life because have you ever tried to work around yourself have you ever tried to if you're in a place of extreme sadness how do you cheer yourself up yourself have you ever worked around yourself I'm not gonna say it's impossible but it certainly feels like it because you're always in your own way every time you try to step around yourself there you are so and and I'm sure there are many other reasons like I said every Christian has their own reason for why Christianity speaks to them and why it's worth it to live their lives this way so it is worth it to be a Christian it there's a wisdom there's an understanding that comes with it that brings peace and joy that helps you to live your life it makes life less random at least that's how I see it so as we close out just remember God loves all of us God knows all of us and that meaning that he knows or he knew has known who would incline to him easily and and who would need a little more convincing God knew who would embrace him and and who would not and the thing is he created all of us anyway remember that so let's not judge each other too harshly and ideally let's not judge each other at all rather let's let the light that's been deposited inside of each of us shine brightly and consistently thank you so much for tuning in to today's episode again my name is Jamila Perry and this is the help my unbelief podcast if there is a topic you'd like to hear or a question you'd like me to answer please feel free to email me you can email me at help my unbelief 19 at gmail. Com that's help my unbelief 1 9 at gmail. Com again thank you so much for listening and I'll see you next episode

Reviews

Thank you! I loved this message of HIS love for us all and His relentless pursuit of our hearts!

Hi again Jamila! I so understand what you are talking about in this podcast. Being a late arrival to Christianity, I have had my share of people wanting to convert me along the way, but the ones who have had the biggest impact are those who are a beautiful living example of Christian love, NOT the ones who try to wrestle me into believing. I really enjoyed hearing your reasons for being a Christian and I would love to hear more of your personal stories about your faith. Thank you for reminding me that God’s love shines on ALL of us. Have a wonderful week!