Hello and welcome.
Today I want to explore something subtle.
The weight we put on our goals.
Not the effort.
Not the discipline.
The weight.
There was a time in my own life when I believed that the heaviness meant I just needed to try a little bit harder or have a little more discipline.
If the goal felt tight,
It meant I wasn't committed enough.
If it felt pressure,
It meant I cared.
If I was restless,
It meant I was ambitious.
But over time,
I began to notice something.
The goals themselves are not exhausting.
The way I was holding onto them was.
Many of us care deeply about growth.
And I am in the growth business as a coach.
So we set goals because we want to become more capable,
More aligned,
More fully ourselves.
And at first,
There's that energy,
That excitement,
You know what I'm talking about.
That intention.
But over time,
Something shifts.
And all of a sudden that goal becomes heavy.
Feels heavier.
You may notice it as a pressure or a tightness.
Or that quiet sense that you're behind,
Failing,
Or even worse,
Not capable.
And we often assume that that heaviness means the goal is too big.
But that's not always true.
In fact,
Often the weight is not really about effort at all.
It's about our identity.
The goal becomes heavy when it quietly becomes the proof of who we are.
If I fail,
I'm falling short.
If I slow down,
I'm losing ground.
If I get tired,
I'm weak.
Or I don't have the discipline to complete goals.
Well,
That's the killer one there.
And notice what just happened.
The goal actually stopped becoming a direction.
It became a measurement or self-evaluation.
And when a goal becomes a measurement,
The nervous system reacts and gets involved.
And every obstacle or challenge feels personal.
And every delay feels threatening.
And what happens?
We begin to grip.
And that gripping,
That's what creates weight.
I'd like to pause here and sort of feel into this a little bit.
So if it feels comfortable,
And you can,
Allow your eyes to close for a second.
And if you can't do it,
Pause here and come back to this.
But for now,
Take in a deep breath from your nose and swallow.
Now blow the breath out of your mouth like you're blowing through a straw.
And bring to mind a goal you are currently carrying.
Just one.
And if you can,
See it very clearly.
Remember why.
Now,
Notice how you're holding it right now.
Is there tension in your body?
In your jaw?
Maybe your neck or shoulders?
Your chest?
Maybe it's in your stomach?
Or anywhere you're feeling tension,
Anxiety,
Tightness,
Or heaviness.
Now take in a slow breath through your mouth or through your nose.
Swallow and blow through that straw.
Now gently ask yourself,
Have I made this goal responsible for proving something about myself?
Take your time.
There's nothing wrong or to fix here.
Just awareness.
If your answer was any kind of yes,
Notice the story you've attached to this goal.
Is it about being enough?
Being respected?
Being secure?
Or maybe fixing something that's broke?
Now imagine something different.
Keep the goal there.
The direction remains.
But it's no longer measuring you.
It's not defining you.
It's simply something you are choosing to move toward.
Take another slow breath in through your nose.
Swallow and blow through the straw.
Feel that shift in your body?
Notice how much easier it was to swallow than when we started?
You're not the goal.
You're the one that's walking towards it.
Achieving this goal or not achieving it,
That doesn't define you.
You can still choose to grow towards it.
Just let that land.
Now go ahead and open your eyes if you haven't already.
Remember this feeling because growth does not require you to fight yourself.
It does not require you to attach your worth to an outcome.
You can move forward without turning against yourself.
You can pursue something meaningful without making it responsible for proving who you are.
Often the weight we feel is not the goal itself.
It is the identity that we attach to it.
And when that attachment softens,
The same goal can feel lighter,
Easier,
And motivating again.
Not because it matters less,
But because you matter more than it.
I want to invite you as you move through your day to notice when this pressure comes up.
Notice when achievement starts to feel personal.
And gently remind yourself,
Achieving this goal or not achieving it does not define me.
I can choose to grow towards it.
You are allowed to move forward from steadiness.
If this reflection resonates,
You actually might enjoy exploring this work more deeply in my course,
The Easy Method,
A Human Approach to Goals.
It's here on Insight Timer.
And I'd love for you to join me in that.
But for now,
Take one slow breath,
Swallow,
And blow through the straw.
And please release the weight that was never required.
