Prayer And Meditation For Anxiety

This time we’re talking about anxiety and spirituality. Wondering how these experiences relate? We’ll each share our personal history with anxiety. Then we’ll look at how meditation and anxiety can support us to be present here, in the middle of our lives. We’ll share the unique ways we each practice anxiety meditation (including some panic attack meditation!), as well as some simple prayers for anxiety relief. If you’re struggling to find relief from anxiety or panic, we made this episode for you. Tune in and see whether these tools might work for you, too.

Transcript

Thanks for joining us here on Pretty Spiritual,

Where we're attempting the unthinkable about how to navigate this messy,

Beautiful,

Imperfect life with spiritual tools,

Principles,

And our own personal stories.

So we're not experts,

We're not religious,

We're definitely silly.

We're honest,

Real,

And willing to share.

So join us as we connect,

Bond,

And grow together.

Welcome back to Pretty Spiritual.

Hey.

Oh,

We're back.

We're back.

I never left.

Today,

We're going to be talking about anxiety.

And I was joking with Annie and Lindsay,

Because I had been avoiding making notes for this episode in typical fashion until my mounting anxiety was so consuming that I just had to do it.

So it was helpful.

Anxiety can be really helpful sometimes.

There's ways for it to work.

Usually I have a desire to get ahead of the anxiety pain curve.

And usually that doesn't happen.

Usually I actually have to experience the anxiety when I'm procrastinating to start taking action.

I know this isn't a pleasant experience,

But I imagine that most people can probably relate to it.

Oh,

No.

No,

No,

No,

No.

The sarcasm isn't necessarily translating.

Okay,

Yes,

That was sarcasm.

Can I get an amen?

I've never not had anxiety,

So I don't understand the other side.

Can you rephrase the question?

The other thing that I want to say before we start is that I think each of us has so extensive a history with anxiety that there will be many more episodes to come that address this topic.

And if we miss something in this first one and you really want to hear about it,

Please send us an email and let us know.

Annie,

Do you want to get us started with anxiety and panic?

Oh,

I'm so excited.

Where is it anxiety?

I don't know.

Anxiety is rough.

And if you're struggling with it,

I'm sorry.

And like Ella said,

I can relate.

We can all relate.

The good news is that for me personally,

I've had a shift with anxiety.

So maybe I can offer some hope to people.

And even though I really suffered from anxiety for over 15 years,

The last five years of that I've had more and more tools and more ability to manage anxiety and it doesn't rule my life.

So if you're in a place where it's really in your life,

Just know that maybe it won't be forever.

My anxiety started bringing up in my really early twenties and I'm 40 now.

I've always been a ruminator and an over thinker,

But around that time I just started having this kind of sense of dread.

You guys know how fun that feels.

Just casual dread.

And an important part of my relationship with anxiety was alcohol because when I drank,

My brain got quiet and I was brave and all that stuff that I was really overthinking about just kind of disappeared.

But the problem with that and what I really believe is that as I used alcohol,

It made my anxiety worse over time because instead of me reaching for tools that helped me deal with the anxiety in a healthy way,

It was like I was pushing it away with something that actually causes anxiety.

And then when the party's over,

My anxiety's back.

My little deflated party hat.

A little lamp on my head that's broken.

The anxiety would come back bigger and badder than ever.

And I don't think it's just alcohol that people can use for trying to kick away anxiety.

We can use codependence or people or shopping or controlling food or whatever it is in some way to kind of fix that feeling.

For me,

That's the tool that I used.

So I started seeing a therapist in my late 20s to help with the anxiety,

But it wasn't until I stopped drinking in 2011 that I could really begin to address it.

So then in 2013,

My anxiety was at an all time high.

So theoretically,

Everything should be okay.

Like my body's clean,

My brain's clean.

I've been meditating and exercising and I was a basket case.

My brain was in this constant state of hypervigilance and fight or flight and it was really scary and overwhelming and everyone kept recommending that I try medication and I was like,

You don't know what's best for me,

Doctor.

I'm not going to take something that's going to change how I feel even though I spent a decade drinking whiskey all the time.

And it really scared me,

But I surrendered to it and I got to a point where I realized I couldn't fix this on my own with prayer and meditation and exercise and eating well.

It wasn't solving it and it was reaching a critical point.

And so I surrendered to these medical suggestions and it really helped me.

For years,

I felt like I had these metal panic bars around my brain,

Which as I say it now,

Sounds crazy to live with.

But that's just like,

Oh,

That's just how it is.

And that having some medical intervention eased that feeling and I could then have a more balanced baseline to start to work from.

So the anxiety was still there,

But it wasn't this like all consuming thing.

All that said,

This is just my story and I don't think that medicine is for everyone and I am not advocating for people to take it necessarily.

I'm just sharing what my experience was.

So if you have questions about it,

Definitely talk to a medical professional.

But for me,

It gave me a bridge to safety and from there I could grow.

So now anxiety is a sub chapter of my life instead of being the headlining act that dominates every day.

I forget how hard it is to live with anxiety and panic and to not know when that's going to strike,

Like what an impact that has on your day to day existence and your ability to show up for life and plan.

It's really hard.

Even getting to know before I didn't realize as a young child that I was just full of like,

I like to call it being emotionally distraught.

But anxiety and panic were such a big part of my life that to recognize that the chaos bells like there was no siren going off telling me to like,

Get out,

Get out.

It's an emergency.

The first day that I realized that there was like alarm bells going off in my mind,

But that that wasn't actually what was going on.

I was like,

Oh,

I looking back now,

I feel so lucky that I got to have that experience because otherwise I could have just kept living with this panic because of anxiety.

And thinking about this,

There are so many different flavors of anxiety,

Like what is my personal relationship with anxiety,

Just like Annie was talking about over time,

I've gotten some relief.

Luckily,

There's been like action and tools and realizations that I've been living with this panic and anxiety,

And I needed to be able to recognize that and witness that before I could even have a place to start that there could be freedom from this feeling or that things could be different if there if I was to implement some tools or some help or even sometimes it's just like we're doing right now like talking about it.

I think that having these friends that I'm so intimate with,

But also sharing on this platform where we can have these conversations of like,

Oh my goodness,

Like realizing it's by talking with other people that I recognize what's going on for me by hearing it from someone else.

So like,

What is my personal experience with anxiety?

In the beginning,

When I really didn't even know that anxiety was here and that I didn't have the language for it,

But I got into some groups where we could talk about things.

I heard that when you're fretting over the past that can manifest as depression.

And when you're fearful of the future that can materialize as anxiety.

And that was a really helpful way for me to categorize or look at more subjectively this feeling I was having and maybe why so that was very useful for me.

That was really the start of my intimate look at what is this feeling?

What is this about?

How does it feel different?

Because oftentimes,

Even though I've gotten some relief from it now,

It's like,

Okay,

Did I just drink three cups of coffee and I'm labeling that as anxiety because I have to say my number one tool for when I'm having anxiety is to put coffee on top of it.

Obviously it helps every time.

You know,

It's just a great,

Just speed this up.

It's a great first idea.

That's right,

Let's hurry and get this anxiety attack over with.

Anxiety and panic feeding on my desperate grasps for certainty in an uncertain world keeps the panic and anxiety fires blazing bright for me.

I'll just express that anxiety and panic have been a daily accompaniment from what I'm thinking is like the womb.

And I think that's really important times like when we're reverse engineering and trying to get to know and understand ourselves,

When we think about when we were nonverbal and the messages we got or even being in the womb,

Just going back to that time really helps me sort out some of these feelings that sometimes I'm like,

I don't think this is mine.

How long has this been the echo of some generational trauma?

Anyways,

That's going deep and I'm going to come back up to the surface here.

So deep separating myself and anxiety and panic has been a process that's taken and continues to take much attention daily years of therapy and group helped pave the way for me.

I thought my anxiety state was my natural state of being Eckhart toll says the future,

The worry,

The regret,

The anxiety.

These are all mental events that do not have to be part of the difficulty of life.

These can be transcended here and now that gives me hope and tools to get me into action.

And I find that very useful in untangling my anxiety and myself.

I really like how much hope is already part of this conversation because I have a similar kind of history to what you guys were describing with anxiety and there is a lot of hope when people said stuff like that to me,

I thought,

You don't know me,

You don't know what this is like.

So if,

And if you did,

You wouldn't say that to me.

Like you'd know that I was different.

Luckily I was wrong.

I've had depression and anxiety from the time I was cognizant basically.

So as long as I can really remember,

I have taken antidepressants.

I started taking them as a teenager and continue to take them.

I get the sense that in our society,

There's this idea that we're supposed to feel the best all the time.

And I actually think based on the world we live in that anxiety and depression are perfectly reasonable responses.

For me,

They're really part of the tapestry of being alive.

And that's a privilege today because they used to be the things that kept me from feeling like I was being alive and living my life.

In my early twenties,

I got diagnosed with a panic and anxiety disorder and the psychiatrist I was working with gave me a prescription for benzodiazepine anti-anxiety medication.

And like Annie was saying,

I am not a doctor,

Obviously.

And I have to say that to remind myself.

So people should know.

Yeah,

I don't know what's right for you.

Even if anti-anxiety meds in that class are like saving your life,

That is amazing.

Get that relief however you get it that's working for you.

For me,

The problem was that when I took this medication,

It was the state I had been seeking my whole life.

And I was like,

Oh my God,

This is how sane human beings must feel operating in the world.

Like I felt okay for the first time maybe ever.

As you can imagine,

I got really into these meds and I took more than I was supposed to.

Yeah,

Hashtag number one fan.

I continued to take this medication for years with diminishing return on the relief I was getting.

And eventually when I didn't have it,

I was non-functional.

I couldn't get out of bed.

I couldn't answer my phone.

I couldn't look at my email.

I couldn't leave the house.

What was happening for me is instead of treating the underlying issue,

I was just kind of punting the anxiety impulses into the future.

And when they came back,

They would come back with a vengeance.

Ferocious.

Really ferocious anxiety.

And you know,

I also want to say that this was at a time in my life when I literally had no other tools for dealing with anxiety.

That medication probably saved my life because I'm not sure I would have wanted to hang around having that experience for too much longer.

I have no judgment of people who are taking this medication.

And if it's helping you,

I think that's great for myself.

It just wasn't a long term solution to anxiety and panic.

It was this kind of interruption that didn't address the main cause.

And so the main cause was still there and the anxiety and panic were still kind of unmanaged and out of control for me.

Fast forwarding a few years later when I was coming off of the meds,

It was like,

Now how do I actually deal with this situation?

And that's where the tools come in.

You know how we love a tool.

Oh,

Yeah.

Need so many.

Lindsay,

Do you want to tell us about the tools that help you cope with anxiety and panic?

Oh,

Yes,

I would love to do that.

In the beginning,

Ella,

When you first started,

You were talking about wanting to get ahead of anxiety.

And I can really relate to that feeling.

And my tool is actually going to be kind of the opposite of that.

So it's not so much it's like totally understandable.

Of course,

I want to get ahead of anything and everything that is uncomfortable to me.

And I for never really works.

Right?

Because somewhere in the middle in the process of going through the experience,

I learned something about myself that was like required.

They say the only way out is through with this tool that I'm going to talk about.

The goal is to come into the present moment with the actual anxiety,

Which can sound pretty scary at first.

What we're going to do here is we're going to interrupt the pattern of projecting fearful thoughts into the unknown future,

Which for a lot of times,

That's what's going on with anxiety for me when I am talking about like what the flavor or what my relationship is to to the anxiety.

So a simple tool,

If you haven't spent a lot of time like with your anxiety,

You've just been running from it,

Which is understandable.

A great tool is five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

So the first thing you're going to do is you're going to describe five things that you can see right now.

So you're let's just say you're like driving and you know you've you're all of a sudden you can kind of tell that you've either ejected yourself from your body or like you know you're in a state of panic or anxiety.

So five things that you can see right now.

So a lot of times what that looks like for me is okay,

The house is yellow.

Those leaves,

They're green and they're fluttering in the wind.

So not only do I like say five things that are outside of me,

But I like I actually say them.

Then we're going to move to four things that you can feel with your sense of touch right now.

Right.

So like maybe I touch my legs.

Maybe I'm wearing jeans.

Maybe I can like put my hair behind my ear.

So four things that you can feel with your sense of touch right now.

You're going to describe three things that you can hear.

If you happen to just be in a panic attack in your room and there's like no sound going on,

Then think of three of your favorite sounds.

You're going to describe two things you can smell around you.

That's either going to be helpful or not,

Depending on where you are.

And then describe one thing you can taste right now or one thing you really like to taste or the memory of tasting something pleasant.

Going to your five senses is the quickest and most practical way to bring yourself back into the here and now.

So this tool is a fantastic way to train your nervous system to be present.

Whether you're in a deep anxiety panic loop or lucky enough to have caught yourself in the beginning,

You can stop and ask yourself,

What can you see,

Feel,

Hear,

Smell,

And taste right here,

Right now?

And a real pro tip is to practice orienting yourself into the present before the cyclone of anxiety hits.

So just practicing that could be really useful.

Yay.

That's such a cool tool.

So Lindsay,

I was listening to a suggestion from a neurologist on another podcast we love called Allogies.

So good.

Oh my God.

The sleep one about somnology.

But what this neurologist said was that brains need a job.

So the thing that you just shared is like giving the brain a job besides twirling on whatever obsessive loop it's on.

And it just sounds so helpful.

I have a great tool that I want to share.

Oh my God.

Okay.

I've got to hear it.

I love tools for anxiety because like I said,

It's been a big part of my life for a long time and I just,

I need them.

Now they've become a lot more ingrained and just having a mindfulness practice in the morning has really helped set the day so that it's not,

I don't start my day on fear.

Furios.

Great with Mel.

They're horrible.

So right now my favorite tool is anti isolation.

So when I'm anxious,

I get paranoid,

Which obviously super sexy and glamorous to admit.

I think things like people don't like me.

I think the guy at the checkout stand can't understand me and I start to like shut down in my communication.

I think there's a dangerous spotlight on me as I walk down the street and everyone knows I'm crazy and that I am actually crazy.

It's really fun and it feels real.

But if I keep that stuff to myself,

I'm the only one thinking it and then I'm validating it and these feelings can really keep me locked at home because it feels dangerous to go interact with people.

So my anti isolation antidote is threefold.

First,

And this has been the most powerful is I admit how I'm feeling out loud because there's this part of me,

Like that paranoid part where it's like,

Don't let people know that you've gone nuts.

You know,

Like hide it.

And so it feels really scary and vulnerable to admit to somebody else that that's what's happening in my brain.

When I text trusted friends like these girls or I'll tell my wife or if I pray and I just admit out loud,

Like,

Hey,

I'm super anxious.

I'm tense.

My body's locked up and I think everyone thinks that I'm crazy.

So usually like these girls will text right back and go,

Oh yeah,

Totally relate.

Ha ha.

And they'll like say some joke,

You know,

And it's just takes the power out of it because it feels so important and real.

And then when I can have that shift of like,

Oh,

Other people feel like this.

I'm actually not losing my mind.

I'm not losing touch with reality.

This is just part of being a human today.

Like Lindsay has been saying,

Like it takes practice,

You know,

To trust that I can be vulnerable and if you don't have trusted friends yet that you can share,

Like reach out to prayer is a good way to do it.

So the second part of this anti isolation is putting on my pants,

The spiritual practice of putting on bands.

So when I'm anxious,

I just,

Like I said,

I want to,

I got to hide it.

And so my best idea is to be,

Be weird alone with my weird ideas in my bed sweater in my bed,

A drama suit,

Stay there for three days and get all sweaty and like not brushing my hair.

So when I get that,

That idea of like,

Don't leave the house,

I'll say,

Annie,

Put your pants off.

I'll rinse off in the shower,

Put on real clothes,

Force myself out into the world.

And then inevitably once I'm out in the world,

I start interacting with other people and it's like,

I'm forced out of myself in that like obsessive brain loop that I'm in.

And then this is where the big shift,

Maybe I can be of service.

So then I'm like,

Oh,

I start encountering other people.

I can hold a door open,

You know,

I can like let someone in in traffic.

I can call a friend and see how they're doing it.

But it's like,

I have to do,

I have to let people in first.

I have to actively be willing to go out and engage with the world,

Even if it feels terrifying.

And then I have start to shift of like,

How can I be helpful to other people today?

So that's my anti isolation recipe.

You guys know all my super weird secrets.

I'm learning so many new tools,

I'm really excited about that.

I also love a sweaty pajama suit.

Oh,

Yeah.

Wow,

This is how we free ourselves.

This is real glamour.

Not everything's supposed to be gorgeous.

Hey,

You guys,

My pajama suit.

And I'm just kidding.

Lindsay actually,

When I started dating my partner,

Lindsay wanted to get me a new bottom half because she was like,

No one is going to do not let him see you.

And then I was like,

If you do like this person,

Oh my god,

She's just trying to help.

It's true.

Okay,

So when I was first coming off of these meds,

And I had been like punting this anxiety into the future,

And now all of a sudden I had it,

I was like sitting and confronting it for the first time ever.

I started meditating because I had put myself in a place where not doing that wasn't an option.

I was having constant panic attacks and I would have panic attacks in the meditation hall.

I would just get up and leave which luckily at the time I didn't know that that was like a huge Buddhist faux pas.

I learned later and people were very accommodating.

So I would start having a panic attack and then I would get up and leave in the middle of meditation and it happened frequently.

It was a couple months of sitting a couple times a day and confronting that panic and it didn't happen all the time but when it did it was so intense.

The way my panic attacks have always been,

There's been a physical trigger.

My heart will kind of do a fluttery thing or there'll be some like ringing in my ears or I'll feel kind of dizzy or something like there's some physical trigger that my brain latches on to and is like,

This is it.

Like Annie and Lindsay have been talking about being in the present moment,

It feels so counter intuitive to lean in to the anxiety physically but that is what I started to do.

And I would find that if I could stay close to the physical sensations that I could actually feel and watch them change.

And that was really interesting because I started to see how these sensations which when my brain would kind of get attached to them would lead to panic and panic attack.

When I just kind of witnessed them and let them move through me,

It was a different experience.

So that was my first practice was just to kind of be with the physical and be in my body and see what happened after that first kind of impulse.

I had this pretty amazing experience eventually which is that I was sitting and I had one of those physical triggers and I started to panic and there was this loving kind suggestion which was you can totally have a panic attack right now.

Like you have 100% permission to have a panic attack right now if you need to have one.

Do you need to have one?

And I was like,

Oh,

I guess not.

I almost don't want to say this but I ought to because it's the truth.

That was the last panic attack I've had.

I don't know if they'll be back.

It's kind of this magical reprieve that I have right now and that's actually what happened for me.

And the exact meditation tool that really,

Really helps me is acronym RAIN which is a way to get into the present moment like Lindsay was talking about in a way that utilizes wisdom or awareness and also compassion.

So R stands for recognize which is the first awareness piece and A is for allow which is the first compassion piece.

And if this is as far as I get,

It helps me every time.

So the way it looks is recognize,

Oh,

I'm panicking.

Allow is just like welcome,

Anxiety,

Welcome to the picture.

I which I will full disclosure,

I think it took me like two and a half years of practicing RAIN to get past I.

So I is the next awareness piece which stands for investigate so where is it in your body?

And it's just like lean into that,

You know,

Like is your heart racing?

What does that feel like?

If that's too intense,

Are there places in your body where it feels safe to hang out or safer?

Once I've really been with that,

It starts to shift and change after about 60 or 90 seconds.

And then the last piece N stands for nourish.

I've also heard it taught to stand for non attachment and for me,

I have to do nourish first to get to non attachment.

So what that means is I will put my hand on my heart or wherever the place is that I can feel it in my body and I'll ask the deepest part of myself,

What do you need right now?

You know,

Like you can have whatever it is that you need,

What do you need?

And usually when I do that,

And I start to give myself what I need,

Which is really just love and acceptance,

I can get some space from the experience I've been having and actually not feel so attached to it.

I want to say also that if you're experiencing PTSD or some kind of serious trauma,

It can be harmful to lean into it too much.

So at the end of the day,

I just want to encourage all of you to trust yourselves.

And if what we're suggesting feels like too much for you,

Absolutely trust yourself and trust a therapist.

Because I have to say without my therapist and my groups and a large amount of support and resources and help,

I don't think I would have been able to do this work.

So I really just also wanted to say like the best tool I think that can be used for anyone going through this is what we like to call here step zero,

Which is to breathe like really deep breathing because when we get into that,

I've got to run away,

I've got to escape,

A big thing that we're usually doing is we're constricted,

We're doing shallow breathing and like breathing is so important.

So I think that can be useful to anyone.

Ask for help.

Oh my God,

There's so much available,

It turns out once you start asking.

Yes.

And it is like the best.

I think we're all good examples of having asked for help because all three of us have had our own stories with anxiety and they're big and we've been joking,

But it's also really been serious for all three of us.

Incredibly serious.

We get to share that there is hope when you can ask for help and my life is so different than it was in how I moved through the world in relationship to having anxiety and it's improved so much.

So if it doesn't feel hopeful,

Maybe just hearing us say it can be hopeful and that it has changed for us and it's really joyful on the other side.

So on that really lighthearted note,

Well,

I'm feeling so much less anxiety right now that this is about to be over.

That always helps me so much.

We want to hear from you guys as always.

So please,

Please write us.

Pretty Spiritual Podcast at gmail.

Com and we have a lot of exciting stuff coming up for y'all.

We're going to have our website put up and then hopefully we'll have some kind of forum where we all can just talk.

Love to have an email list so then that way we can just let you know what we're doing,

What's happening next because we have some really exciting stuff.

We want the conversation to get bigger,

But we need you.

We need you so much.

Miss Lindsay Pony,

Will you tell us what we're going to be discussing next time?

Look at that.

The anxiety is back.

Totally kidding.

I'm really excited because what I hear is that anxiety and fear is the same as excitement.

You just remember to breathe when you're excited.

So I'm breathing right now and I would love to let you know that we are going to talk about workplace spirituality.

Work it girl.

Just imagine that song nine to five playing and you being around a bunch of horrible people.

That is how we're going to talk about being spiritual in the workplace coming up next.

Can't wait.

Bye.

Love you.

Bye.

Reviews

So glad to have found you girls, hoping there's more of these encouraging podcasts/audios .Thanks so much!
🙏👼💕🌹✨✨✨✨✨

So great. thank you for sharing your experiences and wisdom!

Countdown from 5... brilliant! Thank you for all of these tools! So relatable at this point in my journey! Thank you friends! 😘😘🥰

thank you so much words are not enough to express my gratitude

Helping me so much! Thank you ladies❤️👍🏼

I enjoyed listening to you guys. Thank you for sharing your experience and insights ❤🙏

That was so great! Like you girls, I have my own “story” that has led to anxiety... and panic attacks and PTSD... so I feel like I’m a kindred spirit. Thank you for being so open and honest and real & FUNNY about it all. I’ve had a hard road in life and anxiety and I know each other well and I related to what you all were talking about tons! Thank you for your kindness and the “tools” you shared— I’ve added some more to *my* toolbox (I like to think it’s pink and sparkly- a survivor like me) and I appreciate everything you ladies discuss on the podcast. I’ve just recently found your show and can’t wait to join the email list when that gets up and running.
Many thanks!! 💕

Wow! This was so helpful, packed with really usable tools!! Thank you as always beautiful ladies, much love 💜x

Wonderful and inspiring! Thank you!

I so appreciate every thing I just heard! Serious stuff, and amazing to think how many tools we can learn to practice for the nurturing and healing of our very real and deep anxiety. Thank you for sharing so honestly and with humor!💜

I loved this girls! Great podcast with sensible suggestions! ❤️🙏❤️🙏