Truth Integrating In Our Body
In today’s Satsang, Premasudha describes how all of us, males and females, need feminine energy at this time. Embracing the Goddess energy (the energy of our Mother Nature) can result in great changes including physical ones. As our truth integrates into our physical being, our bodies may feel different. Sometimes, there is discomfort or even pain temporarily. It’s important to stay present with these feelings. There’s nothing to fix. We just have to wait. Transformation within happens gradually and often in small steps. Patience can be difficult but it's necessary. Secretly, we may feel "not good enough" to walk the spiritual path but we are! We are all part of God. Fear may come and overwhelm us at times. But remember, fear is not permanent. With prayers and patience, soon we can find solid ground again and the light returns. These inner shifts solve our outer difficulties. We gradually make progress, despite our misunderstandings and mistakes. Love wins.
Transcript
This is going to be a simple satsang.
But first of all,
I just want to speak to Julie for a minute.
Julie Johnson?
Sweetie,
You're in California,
Right?
Julie,
Are you there?
I'm here.
Yeah.
No,
I'm not in California.
My family is.
Okay.
Yeah.
Are they in Los Angeles?
No,
They're more northern.
Okay,
Good.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm sure all our hearts go out to Los Angeles.
Oh,
Gosh.
I do have some friends that live there,
And it's been pretty scary.
They've had to evacuate,
But they haven't lost anything.
But they do have close friends and family that have lost things.
Yeah.
Yeah,
My heart goes out to everybody.
I was talking yesterday,
Though,
That there have been news reports of these guys that refused to evacuate.
And I guess,
You know,
They took a chance.
But they did save their homes.
And they ended up saving their neighbors' homes.
They used water from the swimming pool and everything.
Oh.
Yeah.
It's kind of,
In a way,
Part of the teaching of this work.
Because we're getting so told what to do by authorities.
And we follow.
I mean,
We've all been trained to do this.
And sometimes it can backfire.
You know,
Sometimes people don't follow evacuation orders,
And they die.
But it's sort of like,
You know,
This work comes from where I realized that no therapist could help me,
No government could help me,
That I just had to turn to God.
I was responsible for my life.
And these people who,
These guys who saved their homes,
It's a little bit the same energy.
And that's part of what I'm wanting to communicate to you guys and give you permission to follow that.
And I just want to give Julie a medal of honors.
When I first talked to Julie,
She was pretty tight with herself and tight with other people and didn't know how to transcend or transform.
And Julie's opened her heart,
Is communicating with her mom,
Who's passed on,
And Julie's heart is really developing.
I'm sure,
Julie,
You'd say,
Well,
It could be more,
Right?
But I can feel the change in you.
Thank you.
I really appreciate hearing you say that.
Oh,
Yeah.
And these patterns take a lot of patience,
Especially when,
You know,
If there's rigidity in our moms,
Then we pick it up and it just takes time to open up and allow the healing.
But you're doing really well.
Thank you.
I love you so much.
Thank you.
God bless your dear,
Dear heart.
You know,
I have such love and devotion to anybody who steps,
Well,
To the whole world,
But especially to anybody who steps up for this evolving work because it's challenging,
But it's so much better than not doing it.
So,
Yeah,
That's it.
I mean,
It's just no hope if we don't do it.
And,
You know,
If we make progress in a life,
That's a life well lived.
Not everybody has to reach self-realization every life.
Any progress at all is fantastic.
I wanted to tell you real quick,
Too,
That since I moved out to kind of the boonies,
And for some reason my camera doesn't work on Zoom anymore.
Even when I click on it,
It doesn't give me the option.
So I would be there so you could see my face,
But you'll just have to do with hearing my voice,
I guess.
Well,
It's good enough to hear your voice.
Yeah,
I'd love to see your face.
Thank you for sending the love.
Oh,
Sweetie.
Yeah.
Well,
Thank you for turning up so,
You know,
Faithfully.
I mean,
You do when you can.
So,
You guys,
I want to talk again.
And Amma is giving Darshan.
And I talked yesterday about the grace that is coming to us from her.
Yeah,
So just take a little time to open up to it.
And,
You know,
She is the most loving spiritual master who's ever lived.
You know,
Hugging 40 million people.
And she says that she comes to Earth really to,
It's like Earth is a sick baby.
So it's,
You know,
Just like any mom with a sick baby,
There are no barriers to love.
The mother will do anything for that child.
I know this from my experience.
Nothing brings out love more than a sick small child.
It will bring out the mother's full arsenal,
Is the wrong word,
But kind of like that.
And this is what Amma has for us.
And this is what the creator has for us.
Right.
And we can open to it.
You know,
A self-realized person is just somebody that realized how much grace there was.
And they just blossomed.
That's it,
You guys.
That's the secret.
It's not fixing yourself.
It's not being perfect.
It's not anything like that.
You just realize how loving it is.
And your petals open up.
Right.
Okay,
Good.
So I can feel some of you receiving this.
The other thing,
I want you to imagine that we're all on a train going to the creator.
You bought your ticket.
And you're sitting there on this train going to the creator,
And your suitcase is on top of your head.
And it feels pretty heavy.
It's a drag.
And the reason it's on top of your head is you,
Although you have a ticket for yourself,
You thought you had to buy another ticket for this suitcase.
But you don't.
It's free.
It's free with your ticket.
So you just take the suitcase off your head.
Really,
Take the suitcase off your head,
You guys.
The suitcase on our head is our feeling that we have to fix it,
That we're responsible,
That somehow we have to do it.
And it needs to go off our heads and be placed on the floor of the train.
Because the train is moving us to God.
Like,
Every day you are being moved closer to God.
You're in the process of your spiritual journey.
It's totally choreographed to bring you closer to God this lifetime.
And you can relax.
You don't have to figure it out.
Right.
So before today,
I got the bulletin from the universe,
From Mama,
To be very simple with you.
To be very simple.
And to stay really close to where you are.
And to talk from there.
From where you guys are.
Right.
So you can relax and open to the fact that you actually know so much more than you realize.
Your biggest trouble is you just don't honor your data.
You tend to go like,
Oh,
There's something wrong with me.
I'm loopy.
I'm loony.
There's a feeling I have that some of you,
Well,
Some of you have already started this process.
Trilla Chan has and Veronica has.
And what it is,
It's a deepening.
And it may feel that your life is falling apart a little bit.
But it isn't.
It is actually you're being helped into a much higher spiritual understanding.
And so your usual way of going about life isn't going to work.
And this is why it feels that Amma is asking me,
The creator is asking me,
Pramasutha,
To just stay very close to where you are.
So that you can just allow this opening.
And,
You know,
If some things don't work so well,
Oh well.
The thing is that,
You know,
If you've got a job and you're having a spiritual opening,
The universe will make sure that you're okay.
You know,
That the work gets done or you get some time off.
Or,
You know,
You don't have to worry that something terrible is going to happen.
The universe will help you see to all your obligations.
Will help them all get sorted out and taken care of.
And give you space to evolve.
I promise you.
You might not like this.
It's sort of like a woman.
I'll tell you,
I was not a big fan of pregnancy.
Some women really love pregnancy.
I just was like tired all the time.
I felt like a whale.
It was awful.
But,
You know,
When you're pregnant,
You have to go along with it.
You basically have to stop running hundred mile marathons if you're pregnant.
You just have to.
You have to slow down.
So the same thing happens when we start embodying our true nature.
Sometimes we have to go slower in our lives.
And slower in fulfillment of our duties.
And there will be space enough for you to do this.
But some of you,
You know,
You don't want to allow this.
But if you don't allow it,
It will be very hard for you to grow.
Because it's how the love gets woven into your body.
It's like Veronica was talking about that she felt that she was beginning this deeper process.
And I was getting the information it was going to take her a couple of years.
But she was really giving birth.
She was really going to be giving birth to her true nature.
And she's,
You know,
She's finding work a bit of a chore and everything.
And she's had the flu twice.
COVID and then the flu.
She had COVID.
Excuse me,
Veronica,
For telling you a story.
But I'm trying to,
You know,
Explain to these guys.
So this just makes it quicker.
You're doing great.
Okay.
Veronica had COVID.
And then she was going to go back to work.
And when she told me this,
One of the sad things,
I was thinking,
Oh,
No,
She didn't go back to work.
She took time off.
And she said,
Oh,
I'd lose my job if I took time off.
And I'm like,
Oh,
Yeah,
Okay.
But you need time off.
Well,
Then she got the flu.
Like the universe will win.
So don't think it's controllable.
And Trilla Chan's got this back and stuff going on with your legs.
And it will have a beginning,
Middle,
And end.
And when the pain's gone,
You will be through the shift,
Trilla Chan.
And I get going to see people for help.
But just remember,
It will have limited use.
Their help will be limited,
I'll tell you.
You know,
You might be wasting your money.
Because this is an evolutionary thing.
And maybe they can do some small things to help.
But it won't stop hurting until you are through the shift.
But when your body's hurting and aching like this,
You can rest assured that your soul is going to be taking you right through it.
You're not going to be left halfway through.
And Anna has talked a lot,
Anna,
About learning to walk in a new way.
That you realize that just in this last year,
You have learned to walk in a new way.
And Anna just did this gradually in Anna's way.
Just kind of stoically without any fuss.
I can't remember what the change is in your walking,
Anna.
Can you say what the change is?
For two or three years,
I was limping.
Everybody said,
Oh,
You're walking in a funny way.
And you look like an old lady.
And come on,
You know.
And since I've been coming to the ashram,
Which is like two years ago,
I stopped limping.
I just found out,
Even if there is pain in my ankle,
I don't limp anymore.
And when you said you got this image of me in a rehab center with the rails where I learned to walk.
This was so accurate.
This is what it felt like.
Yeah.
So you see,
The truth of it trumps the medical therapies.
They can kind of help,
But it's the truth of this that is the key and runs the body.
And this is what I experienced in my transformation,
Where I told you all my joints hurt for three months.
And then when it lifted,
I was more flexible mentally and physically.
Yeah.
So I'm wanting to sort of promote your understanding of the safety of this process.
But at the same time,
You might feel that you're being put out of commission a bit to some degree.
But in Anna's case,
Her limb actually improved.
Her normal was a little out of commission.
And the change brought her into walking properly.
For me,
Like I said,
When I was with Abraham,
I was very out of touch with my feminine.
My movements were very awkward and angular.
And I shifted into this more feminine movement.
Okay.
This level of work is truer.
It's just truth being integrated into the human body.
That is the level.
Which is why the professionals,
They can't validate it because it's very far from their training.
And bless their hearts.
It's all good.
Everybody's got their jobs.
I mean,
Professionals help a lot of people.
And it's not a total waste.
But just keep in mind that the thing that I worry about,
Like Trilla Chan with you,
Is because you held on.
We've kind of battled for months.
Our battle was that you were holding on to this nuts and bolts understanding.
And I was trying to bring you into this truer,
More poetic understanding.
And so it's great to go to professionals for all this stuff.
But I hope it doesn't undermine your training with this one.
Because you're going to get a big dose of nuts and bolts.
So do you want to speak to me about this?
Do you get what I'm saying to you?
To Clare,
Is your question more like in the last two weeks when I went to professionals to fix my back pain?
Or are you talking about classical therapists,
Which Amma advised me to do?
What's the last sentence you said?
Are you talking more about the intense back pain process in the last two weeks?
Okay.
It's all good.
But don't lose touch with what I'm trying to teach you.
I believe it's not happening at all this time.
I really feel it's going deeper than ever before.
Still,
There is obviously what I wrote to you today when you inquired.
There is remains of still wanting to control and fix things.
And make use of outside help,
Outside therapy.
Sure.
It's very understandable.
It resonated so much when you said this help might be limited.
Might help a little bit.
As I said today,
It's not a big pain.
It's just totally contracted in the lower left back when walking or when standing.
So that's why I was really wondering what makes sense.
Does it help?
Maybe even the physical help from,
Let's say,
A chiropractor or an osteopath.
Whatever it is.
Can it even help to bring my mental emotional process?
Can it help?
It will reduce loneliness.
We feel less lonely when we can go and we take our pain to a professional.
Even that can be helpful.
But don't lose track that the contraction is on your feminine side.
And you've approached life with this Roman centurion approach.
Overly male for what your soul wants.
It wants you to honor your feminine and honor it as much as your masculine.
And that's part of what's going on with your back on the left side.
It's showing you that the feminine is contracted.
Your woman is contracted.
She's scared.
She's pulling in.
She doesn't feel allowed to be.
She doesn't feel you listen to her.
And I actually empathize with her.
I feel a sisterhood sometimes.
Especially in the past.
I'm teasing you.
I'm poking you.
I'm teasing you.
You're doing very well,
Trilla Chan.
It's all good.
So it means be softer with me,
Basically.
Be more gentle.
Be more self-loving.
Be more compassionate with myself.
The key is really also following your intuitions and honoring them.
Honoring subtle information that comes.
The whispers.
The subtle whispers.
There's an open-handed generosity that's in your feminine that would help you have a happier life.
As she was allowed in more.
She really loves people.
This feminine.
She has a generous nature.
She's got open-hearted.
The way the feminine is.
The men are to protect the feminine,
Really.
The feminine left to her own.
She's more open.
Women are affiliative.
They would gather together to get the water in pots and walk together as they brought their water back to their little homes where they do the wash,
The stuff.
Sweetie,
I just want you to hear the words.
If you try to put this into practice with your ego,
It will backfire.
I just want you to hear it.
You don't have to do anything about it.
It's just the truth of you.
Hearing the truth changes us.
We don't have to do anything.
You just have to admit it's the truth,
Really.
There's a kind of a slam dunk that one feels in one's body.
You go,
Oh,
Yeah,
That's true.
And that is a realignment.
Just that is a realignment.
Right.
I can feel you gradually over the months you're opening to this trilogy.
The warmth coming through this one is just irresistible to you.
It's like you just can't not respond.
It's all good.
That's what I'm wanting.
That's it.
That's the big secret.
As you go along,
You're going to get warmer yourself with others.
You just will with your students.
Warm within yourself and warm within your students.
May your back pain,
May it resolve soon,
But it will resolve at the highest good pace.
Yeah.
Blessings.
Blessings.
I'm going to move to another guy now.
Is that okay,
Tirlatan?
Is there anything you want to say before I go?
One last comment.
I know that resonates not only for me,
But the tricky thing for me,
You're always saying there's nothing you have to do.
Because I'm so conditioned in,
You know,
Do something to fix it,
Control it.
But just to hear it,
It's woof.
That's the challenging part sometimes.
Yeah.
Again,
You're probably trying to do it.
It's like you're kind of trying to do not fixing.
I try to do not fixing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
I mean,
It's kind of,
It's,
The not fixing actually comes from when our lives,
Something falls apart,
Like this big pain you've got.
And then there's nothing that works to solve it.
So,
You end up going deeper.
And then that solves it.
And then you learn how not to fix.
Just as a byproduct.
It's like Anna learning to walk.
It's like you just get shown in this embodied way.
You can't do it at the regular how to ego level,
At the usual professional,
Let's fix this level.
Right.
Premasutha's gift to you all is that I'm right outside that fix it thing.
And a much bigger power is coming through me.
And I'm saying you can do this too.
You guys,
It's just a little hair raising sometimes,
But I can walk with you through it.
And that's what I'm doing.
And it takes time.
It's okay.
You've changed a lot.
Like,
I'm happy.
I'm not complaining.
I'm patting you on the back,
You know,
After weeks of yelling at you.
So,
It's all good,
Man.
Yeah,
But it's even better if I don't have to yell because you're getting it,
Right?
That's even better.
Michael,
I want to see how you're doing.
Thanks.
Yeah,
Thanks,
Jules.
Hi,
Premasutha.
Hi,
Everybody.
I thought you'd never ask.
You know,
I really had a wonderful experience in the last week.
And I might cry just talking about it.
You know,
We talked about the shell last week.
And so,
You know,
I was sort of doing my thing.
And then a few days ago,
I read the news that there's 80,
000 homeless people in Ontario.
Yeah.
And that really hit me.
You know,
It really made me sad.
And I got also very angry because nobody's doing anything or very much about it.
And I just thought,
You know,
Why is that happening?
So,
I really started to sob,
Really.
And as I was doing that,
I just realized,
Well,
Yeah,
That's because I'm homeless,
Too.
Or I was homeless.
And,
You know,
So that was a really,
That was,
And it came out of the blue,
Like you say.
You know,
I didn't do very much.
I listened to those things that you sent.
So,
Thanks for that.
Because I really found them really,
Really good.
But it was,
It really,
It really hit home.
It really hit home.
So,
When you were talking about how you were homeless,
Too,
Homeless in what way?
Well,
You know,
Alone among other people in the family.
No friends being bullied.
You know,
Just,
Yeah.
And I had a pretty bad.
Right,
Right.
Okay.
That's,
I get it.
That's what I was hoping you were going to say.
Because that's what I think is the key to the homeless problem is we don't have homes anymore in ourselves or with each other.
We're all getting so alienated from the truth,
Yeah.
And even,
You know,
To try to fix that problem.
I mean,
You know,
With everything.
I mean,
We're so neglecting what human beings need to become happy that it's not a quick fix.
We'd have to change the whole way we rear children,
Really.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
My feminine side really got,
Really got suppressed.
And that made me very,
Very sad.
But then,
Of course,
I just,
You know,
Put the shell around me and,
You know,
Decided the guys were right.
Yeah,
I mean,
What happens is most men actually run from their feminine then,
Because it's,
Right,
Because it's.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay,
This is the kind of the falling apart that I'm talking about.
It's like the dam's breaking,
Right?
You can,
It's,
We try to,
You know,
Put our finger in and stop it.
But then finally it starts,
Our dammed up love starts breaking through.
Yeah.
So.
So,
Yeah,
Keep bringing it home close to your own heart,
You know,
And,
And remember,
This is your journey,
Michael,
Like your personal journey.
It's,
You know,
So part of you would like to like,
Almost like teach and say,
Okay,
This is the male ego.
And this is,
But I want you to like really keep living it at a personal level.
This is Michael's story.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I,
And I'd really like to,
You know,
I don't want to put it away.
No.
You know,
In any way.
No.
Yeah.
You're quite open to,
You're,
You're getting much more on track.
This is more on track.
I had to be tough with you because you were spinning your wheels,
But you're,
This is more it.
But not that you have to like cry all the time,
But just this is a waking up where we start,
We start getting the homeless people.
It's,
It's like us.
It's like us.
You know,
Almost says that if you're on the 10th story of a building and the first story,
It catches on fire.
You can't say,
Well,
It's not,
I'm all right,
Jack.
It's not my problem.
It's your problem because it,
It's going to reach you.
So some of the problems that we've got,
I mean,
Are going to hit more and more people in the middle class.
I mean,
There's going to be.
You know,
This problem could reach more of us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know,
Another,
Another thing I'd like to say is that,
You know,
You were talking about being busy and I was saying last week or that things were going to get very busy.
And I hope I have time for all this.
You were talking before how things just work out by themselves.
And,
And my,
My very busy term teaching has suddenly has some,
I mean,
I still have all the responsibilities,
But due to some,
You know,
Things like,
You know,
Less number of students or,
You know,
Other people supporting,
It's actually much,
Much easier than it is in a normal term.
So,
You know,
Suddenly things have worked out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean,
You know,
So I don't have to worry about that.
So that was,
You know,
That's pretty concrete evidence of,
You know,
What you're saying,
How things just,
You know,
Work themselves out.
Right.
It's choreographed for our benefit.
Yes.
That is fantastic news.
I'm really,
Yeah.
Proof of grace,
Eh?
That's fantastic.
I'm very happy about this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you for intervening.
Really.
Thank you.
I know the dragon.
I know.
It's Kali.
Kali is considered the most loving goddess.
She is the most loving one because she's doing all that.
She kills the ego for us.
But I know,
I mean,
People spit blood at me sometimes,
You know,
With the cat's claws and hiss.
But I'm just,
I've just come to the end of,
You know,
I just don't care.
I just do my surgeries,
You know.
Yeah.
But it's great,
Michael,
That you see the grace of it.
You see the gift of it.
It's good.
Yeah.
So just keep going and bring it even closer to little Michael.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm starting to get these memories of when I was growing up.
Good.
Good ones or bad ones or mixed?
Mixed.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
More information comes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hope you're journaling them.
Please,
Please,
Please do that.
Yeah.
And the time comes where you stop remembering the bad ones and you start remembering all the good ones.
And it's,
When that happens,
You get rewired for more love,
You know,
For more like,
Oh,
It's not a snake.
It's a rope.
Yeah.
But don't rush it.
It comes when it comes.
Yeah.
I'm really pleased you guys are,
You're turning into star students.
I'm not kidding.
I'm like gobsmacked.
Sebastian,
How about you?
Thanks,
Micah.
Yeah.
It's the men today.
Hello,
Prime Minister.
Well,
For me,
It was quite interesting when Anna spoke about that she changed the way how she walked because even I,
I'm kind of realizing to,
To align my body in a different way to walk in an upright position.
Even it's more opening the heart,
The solar plexus.
So this is something that I observing for some weeks already.
That's great.
That's it.
That's great.
And it's,
Is it just happening naturally?
Yes.
Yeah,
It just,
It just happened.
I somehow unconsciously I did it and then I felt,
Oh yeah,
It feels very relaxing.
So the front can expand.
Yeah.
It's very good.
That's it.
See,
This is how it's getting woven in.
This is why our fix it brains are useless.
Yeah.
It's sort of like trying to fix pregnancy.
I mean,
Pregnancy just happens on its own.
It's the same principle.
Most of the times you don't have to interfere.
You just watch it.
That's great.
Sebastian,
Is there anything else you,
You want to talk about at all or is there,
Is that,
Is that good?
No more at the moment comes to my mind.
Okay,
Good.
Okay,
Good.
Well,
I'm very glad to hear that's happening.
Gordon,
Since I'm doing all the men,
I'll check on you.
I'm just going to look for you.
Yeah.
How are you?
I'm pretty good.
I'm pretty good.
Yeah.
And I have,
I mean,
I have a very easy life.
So the things that come up usually are an invitation for more reflection.
What does that mean?
Sorry,
A limitation.
I don't understand what you mean.
It means,
For instance,
This week I was thinking about how to handle my finances,
My investments.
And I realized that I tried to do it with my head and the head was swirling and swirling.
And then at some point I just said,
Please,
Higher power,
Give me a sign when,
When,
When,
When I have to do something.
And I want to have,
I don't want to worry about it.
I don't want to think about it too much.
I just want to,
I just want a clear sign.
Oh,
Like say maybe whether to sell in the stock market,
Like to unload things?
Yes.
When I went to buy the things,
Yeah,
I sold everything in November.
Oh,
And you don't know when to buy things now.
Yeah.
So,
Yes,
Yes.
So this is the kind of process.
I can see I'm,
I'm trying to use my head and my head just,
It's overwhelming.
I mean,
The mental activity then gets overwhelming and I just realized I can't do it from that anymore.
That's good.
Well,
Maybe,
Maybe the higher power doesn't want you to go back in.
Yes,
Yes.
That's what I'm thinking,
Yeah.
Thinking?
Yes.
Yeah,
But yeah,
A clear sign,
Good.
Wait for a clear sign.
Or,
You know,
You could pray to be shown which way to go.
Like,
You know,
Is there another way to go?
Something else?
I don't know.
I mean,
What I,
What I,
What's also very important for me is to not take it so seriously,
But to,
To realize that I'm in the hands of God and.
Okay.
This is great.
Yeah.
Gordon.
Okay,
You're gonna be,
You're gonna be exhibit A.
Sorry.
Okay.
Okay,
So Gordon said that he didn't want to take it too seriously and he wanted to just follow.
Okay.
And now remember,
I was saying with Maxie yesterday,
I said to you,
Maxie,
You,
You feel that somehow you have to become perfect before you can follow God.
And Gordon,
It's like the,
The heaviness is a wounding to your base chakra.
And so it's that,
That actually needs to be excavated and healed.
And then you wouldn't take it so seriously.
Yes.
Yes.
Right.
I would love that.
Pardon?
I would love that.
Yes.
I would love to have that healing on the base chakra.
Yeah.
Do you see you guys,
We have to work with ourselves.
That's why I was saying to Michael,
Don't forget about Michael,
Like work with Michael,
Just give Michael everything he needs.
And Gordon,
Yeah,
In,
You see,
We,
We kind of,
Our ego wants us to overlook our own healing of our base chakra in,
And just attempt to do it right.
You know,
And it's this sinking into life,
Gordon,
That your soul wants you to do,
And not feeling like a cat on a hot tin roof with,
With money,
About money,
Cat on a hot tin roof,
Like,
Oh,
What should I do?
What should I do?
It just,
Your soul,
I can feel it,
Wants you to sink into life,
And to sink into a reverence of yourself.
Right.
I want to sink.
Yeah,
Now this is taboo for you.
Okay.
It's taboo for your ego.
But it's your soul wants you to sink into this reverence for yourself,
For the divine in you,
And a reverence for life.
Yeah.
A loving reverence,
And your ego says that's far too vulnerable.
Not allowed.
Don't go there.
Not allowed.
Not allowed.
Not allowed!
Not allowed.
Yeah.
So,
Again,
It's nothing to fix.
This is,
This is going to set off,
Just this conversation will set off some changes in you,
And just something to think about.
And,
And the solution,
You know,
Whatever you do with the money will be,
That's just will be a byproduct of the change you make within yourself.
Very good.
Or the change you allow in yourself.
It's just sinking into.
Yeah.
I'm just going to concentrate on you for a minute to,
To like,
Really get clear.
You know,
Gordon,
It's like,
You've wanted to be a wise,
Spiritual man for a long time,
Right?
Yeah.
That is so what you're born for.
And this other part of you goes.
It,
It stops you from really sinking into the wisdom,
It goes like,
No,
Take care of all these things first.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's okay you feel not good enough in a way to become this really spiritual being but you have a very high spiritual capacity,
It's very high.
Good.
Oh yeah,
You just need a little permission,
Like I feel like I'm,
I'm to help give you permission to say,
You can do this.
It's there for you,
It's you.
It's just you being you.
That you are more that kind of enlightened person than you are an economic unit,
You know,
Or you're more that really,
Really ancient wise,
Wise,
Ancient soul.
Yeah,
It's,
Yeah,
It's,
It's like a deficit,
It's a deficit in love,
When you were little,
And our moms,
You know,
They weren't bonded themselves,
You know,
Like it's nobody's fault,
It's just,
We're born from women who aren't bonded to their truth so they can't love us really deeply the way we need to be loved.
Yeah.
There's part of you almost in shock in this conversation about,
About this.
Well,
Just sit with what I said,
And we can email we can talk about it,
I can walk you right through this transition.
Okay,
Like,
Just gradually just occasional talks,
You know,
Nothing,
Not a fix it thing.
Yeah.
And you're right about the shock,
There is a shock.
There's,
There's a starkness in the system when it comes to that topic.
Right.
There's a huge fear,
There's a huge fear.
Okay,
Wait a second.
Okay,
So when you actually the fear is very small.
Your love is very big,
But I know when,
When the fears up,
It can feel like there's a big fear.
Right,
I mean,
I'll tell you my finances have been up and down and all over the place so I'm fearless at this point because everything's already happened to me to know what I mean I've already like been broke,
And,
You know,
Like,
So.
Yeah,
Well,
Just sit with it a bit,
We can always have a conversation.
Do you know,
Wonderful.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yes,
Sit with it and there's no rush,
But it's very healable Gordon.
It's not that big a deal.
It isn't.
You just need some love coming to you and this one is already done it.
So,
You know,
When I talked to your,
Your subconscious registers that it's,
It's doable.
Do you see what I mean,
Because your subconscious registers that this one's done it so it will just register Oh,
Okay it's doable it's possible.
But small steps and don't worry about it.
Good.
Yeah,
It'll just happen gradually.
One of the best things that ever happened to me was,
And I've told you guys this I got,
You know,
Somebody bought the cabin I was living in.
And so I was like,
Oh,
I was gonna have to live in my truck and I really was like,
Really,
I didn't have an agenda.
I'm like,
Oh,
Well,
I'm 60 in my 60s I'm going to be living in my truck.
And you know my thought was,
Is I'm going to have really good meditations.
And then the circumstances,
I think because I totally let go the circumstances changed,
And I got was basically ushered in to this apartment that's a beautiful apartment doesn't cost much.
And I was ushered in because the person who is runs the apartment heard me speaking to the receptionist.
And she decided that she wanted me in the building,
Even though there were five applicants ahead of me.
She heard my voice and how I spoke to the receptionist.
And this woman is not a spiritual woman.
Like it's just bizarre the way it happened.
It's all the creator.
But it was a time where I had the least money.
You know,
I was basically facing homelessness,
And I got ushered into this wonderful apartment.
So,
You know,
It will all be okay.
Yes,
Thank you.
And I really want to put more focus on love and less on the money thing.
Don't fight the money.
You need a lot of compassion for yourself.
Guys need a lot of compassion for measuring themselves by money.
Really,
Really.
And there are women who won't marry somebody unless they're like making 200k.
It's not that uncommon.
I get it.
Yes,
It's very natural for me to measure my lovability by the amount of money I'm making.
Yeah.
Right.
So,
You know,
Musk is such a lovable guy,
Isn't he?
Elon Musk.
Don't we all love him?
I know this is how crazy it is.
I know,
But we do.
I know this is our training.
But when you heal your base chakra,
You don't do that anymore.
Yeah,
You won't do it anymore.
Yeah.
And you'll feel God with you all the time.
And I'm feeling this will become a reality for you,
Gordon.
I'm not talking pie in the sky.
Okay.
Yeah.
Wonderful.
Yeah.
So just be with it.
Thank you so much.
Love exists,
You know,
You guys are so lovable.
Okay.
So I want to stay close to you guys.
Again,
I don't want to give a lecture.
What I'm wanting to do is I'm wanting to just help you feel safe to evolve.
I want to help you feel safe to acknowledge the truth.
To acknowledge the truth of you.
Yeah.
This is the truth.
And to let your body be woven with the truth of you.
Remember Archangel Michael coming or Gabriel and saying,
Tell them the answers are inside.
I want to go again,
You know,
When you have a heart opening,
You start opening your heart,
It's like you can feel worse.
You know,
You might feel tired,
You might not be able to perform your duties,
Might need more meditation time.
Follow it.
Just follow it.
It's like it seems that you become less productive in one way,
But you're letting God weave into your body.
And you will become more productive.
You will become productive in a way that this universe needs human beings to become productive.
The more human beings who are allowing the Creator's energy,
Amma's energy to be woven into their bodies,
The more peace there's going to be on earth.
You guys,
I'm going to,
This ties in with Gordon too.
You know,
I think I told you,
I came in with a real kind of vasana about jewelry.
And when I would go through,
I accumulate it very easily.
It's always just come very easily.
And I would accumulate it and then I'd sell it during when I was going broke,
You know,
When I was going through a big challenging time.
And I just did this and I just have an eye for precious jewels.
I've just been a jeweler.
I just get them.
And really,
I would get exquisite pieces for hardly any money.
Like there's a big,
Big thing for it.
And,
You know,
This time I brought,
You know,
I've totally fallen out of love with jewelry.
It has absolutely no effect on me,
No attraction,
No nothing.
And the way it happened was the last,
Over the summer when Amma was here,
I suddenly got,
I think I told you,
I got this feeling for her too.
She was telling me that she wanted all the jewelry I was wearing.
So I gave it all to her.
And then I saw this beautiful citrine,
About a 30 carat citrine choker thing.
And I thought,
Oh,
I've given all that to Amma.
I'll buy this citrine,
So beautiful.
And I paid and it was 300 US dollars.
That's a lot of money for me.
And I got it.
And within an hour,
I was getting over the ethers,
Amma wants this too.
And I'm like,
I'm like,
What the hell?
But it's again,
It's non-negotiable.
It's like,
I mean,
I'm a spiritual teacher.
I can't go around resisting Amma and not doing her will.
Like,
I wouldn't be able to face you guys if I did that,
Right?
So indeed,
I gave this citrine back and didn't ask for a refund,
Just gave it back.
It was very uncomfortable doing it.
But after that,
This love affair with jewelry is over.
And I gave Amma easily $50,
000 worth of jewelry I brought to India.
And I just gave it to her.
It's like,
Take it,
Take it.
Yeah.
So Gordon,
There's hope.
But you know,
I never gave myself a hard time about this attachment to jewelry.
I even thought,
Well,
Maybe I'll just die with it.
It may never go,
You know.
But it did go.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's just kind of weird not having that old attraction thing to it.
Like,
To just be so neutral about this jewelry,
Which used to be my insurance policy.
It's like,
Because my finance would be so up and down.
And sometimes I would be really on the verge of homelessness,
Except for selling this jewelry.
So for me to get rid of kind of my insurance policy,
You know,
Seems like a big thing.
But it was effortless.
I couldn't care.
I couldn't care.
I know she's going to take care of me.
It's like,
And anyway,
Those things are,
You know,
They're outer.
And because if you know the work of Dr.
Omoto,
Who talks about when water has basically got a lot of love in it,
If you focus on gratitude and you turn water into ice on a molecular level,
The pattern,
They look like precious jewels.
And I thought to myself,
Oh,
This is why we like precious jewels,
Because this is what the water molecules look like when they're freezing,
When they're full of gratitude,
When you focus on love.
If you're full of hate,
They don't,
They look the opposite of precious jewels.
They look horrible.
But so anyway,
It's enough of precious jewels and everything.
Has somebody got a comment or question or something to say or need some help?
Or Jenna,
Have you got something to say?
I just want to say you are turning us into precious jewels.
So thank you.
It's so cute.
Oh,
Listen,
You're already that.
I'm just buffing you.
I'm just buffing you,
You know,
Clean so that it can be seen.
Yeah,
Because you're like that.
Yeah.
How are you,
Sweet one?
How are you with the defensiveness?
I'm feeling more spacious.
Good.
My body is starting to feel open and faith is coming in more and more to trust.
Trust the process.
Yeah.
Good.
I believe you and I know you're telling the truth,
But there's something you're not saying or this is like 60% true,
But there's a 40% of something else.
Yeah,
I think the 40% of something else.
Thank you.
I think it's really painful.
And when you're in the pain,
I think I wrote that fear is small.
It's your love that's very big because you're right.
I mean,
When the fear is up and when the pain is up,
It is so all consuming.
It is.
It's hard to remember in those moments that it's temporary and that this is a part of the process.
And I think that what I'm feeling,
What I'm experiencing right now is that my outer life is feeling more and more hollow.
Like the things that I used to feel joy doing feel more and more empty.
And that's a little,
I suppose it's a little alarming of like,
What does this look like?
And so there's fear there too.
Yeah.
I remember going through phases like that.
Like you're such a Celt woman,
Celtic genetics.
Like I remember,
And this one is too.
So I remember going through phases like that and going like everything's becoming not fun.
Like I used to like skiing.
I used to like,
And it just stopped being fun the same way.
Yeah.
It'll come back or you'll find other things that satisfy you more.
Yeah.
Don't worry.
You're not going to be stuck in a wasteland of not enjoying things.
Okay.
It's what happens when we're so taught to go out.
So when we start turning around to go in,
Then lots of times the old things we used to do,
They feel hollow.
Because they are hollow if we're out of touch with our true nature.
And sweetie,
That's what your soul is just so wanting you to turn and love your true nature.
And it's so strong in you.
And I have found your prickles heartbreaking for you because this one was like this too.
You know,
If you have a really powerful love,
Then you need a lot of prickles to contain it.
Do you see?
Do you get it?
Yeah.
But gradually this powerful love will melt these prickles and you'll see how unnecessary they are.
How unnecessary it's to be.
We don't have to be so defended.
We don't have to be so judgmental.
We don't have to be so kind of high handed.
Right.
And you can come back to this beautiful,
Beautiful heart of yours.
Right.
You've got a very powerful,
Unconditional love in there that will find its way out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you're in the no man's land of not quite with one foot,
One place,
One foot in another,
Not quite solid in either the physical world or the spiritual one.
Yeah.
But you're solid in my arms,
Jenna.
Like I so get you.
Truly.
I so get you.
Yeah.
Right.
And as it dawns in you,
Like how deeply I get you,
Then you'll just register how it's safe to love,
That you're loved.
It's safe.
It's OK.
You can just be yourself.
Yeah.
We just need somebody to re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re- But you know,
If you're going off,
I'll yell at you.
You know how it works.
Yeah.
Do you get nosebleeds at all?
It's interesting you say that.
I don't,
But I've been feeling a lot of my right nostril.
Your right nostril?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
I was feeling up.
But you know,
Sometimes the nose is,
You know,
You know,
She knows,
She knows.
And smells really associated with intuition.
You know how a smell will take you back to being three years old.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I feel like you need a safe place to transform.
Yeah,
Too bad.
I mean,
Who knows?
I mean,
If I want you to come to the ashram for a couple of years,
You'll be here.
So we'll just see what happens.
If it's meant to be.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
It's good.
Keep going with groin pains.
Just keep going.
It's going to get a lot lighter for you soon.
Okay,
I'm getting this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's speeding up.
This is 2025.
We are in,
Sai Baba said it was the beginning of the golden age.
Even though we've got like this,
This epic fire,
But it's the golden age.
It's old energy breathing off,
Maybe.
I don't know.
Is there anybody else?
Thanks,
Jenna.
Who needs to come forward?
Yeah.
Hi,
Pramasutha.
Hi,
Saskia.
Okay,
Sweet one.
How are you doing?
I'm good.
Hi.
I wanted to share a dream I had and what happened with it through the satsang.
I went to bed yesterday.
You know what you told about the guys in Los Angeles?
That's kind of stuck with me.
And I think I was in Los Angeles that saved their own home.
Yeah,
The water.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And the idea of we're the only ones being able or I'm the only one being able to save myself.
Yeah,
I remembered a story that keeps being in my head.
You know,
I heard about a guy.
He survived 911.
He was sitting in an office there.
I don't remember the details and which tower and what happened when,
But he said,
When something crashed,
I don't know,
Maybe the other tower,
There was an announcement in the office,
Like a speaker announcement,
Please stay calm,
Remain seated,
Further instructions will follow.
And most of the people said,
And he and two or three other guys,
He said,
I didn't think I just ran.
So these three or four guys just ran down the stairs,
All the stairs and ran out,
Made it out and lived.
And all the other ones died because I don't know,
A plane came or the tower crashed.
And that kind of stuck with me.
Because that's an example of like,
You know,
We can only save ourselves.
And then at night,
I had a dream.
I was a lion in that dream.
Michael and I were lions and he said,
The deer are coming.
And I was so afraid of the deer,
There was a whole bunch of deer.
They were all orange,
Like me,
And some gray ones.
And I was just like,
Oh,
Shit,
The deer they killing us.
And but I didn't feel like running away.
I was too lazy.
I was tired.
I didn't want to run.
So all the deer came and they went past me,
They ignored me.
Oh,
Thank God the deer didn't do anything to me.
And then there were three deer left,
A gray and two orange one.
And I said,
Oh,
Now they come.
And they're going to kill me.
And in that moment,
I just got up and I roared and I was a lion.
And the deer was scared.
And I woke up.
I didn't know if I ate a deer or what happened.
I just woke up.
And I had to laugh.
I was so surprised.
And I thought,
Oh,
The deer are afraid of me.
So that was kind of,
That was kind of really nice.
It was a I don't know,
It was not a surprise.
I felt surprised.
And it was very important on my mind.
But through the satsang,
When you talked about connecting also with ourselves and giving our ourselves our,
Also our little selves,
What we need,
I got very sad.
And I felt that connection to my little child.
And I think it doesn't matter if I'm a lion or deer,
It doesn't matter in a way.
But if I don't know,
I get it.
Yeah,
I felt a connection to my heart again.
And that was much nicer.
So,
Okay,
So you that is a beautiful dream.
It's like five years.
It's a quantum leap dream.
It's like five years on the spiritual journey.
You'd like to have a big dream like that you guys this happens.
So being a lion and you know,
Yeah,
I mean,
You don't need to be scared about deer like you can be a lion.
But sweetie,
You don't don't don't don't muddy the water with this beautiful dream about the,
You know,
Coming closer to yourself and your heart.
I mean,
The whole,
You see,
The whole thing about being a lion is somebody who,
You know,
Stands,
You know,
You're walking down a street,
And there's somebody in trouble on the street who's so the lion stops.
They're not scared,
They stop,
And they see what the trouble is.
So there's no,
There is no war between your,
The,
Your true nature of your or the sensitivity of the little child,
And being a lion and stopping to help somebody who's sick.
Do you see what I mean?
It includes the little child.
You're a lion in service of the wisdom that the little child had.
This work is me being a lion and my little child.
There's no conflict.
Well,
I want you to see how quickly you were to start getting confused.
There's no,
I feel it still,
But part of you just wants to spin off and get confused where don't.
Yeah,
In that moment,
I felt not in that moment.
I think I have to see that I also feel afraid of being a lion.
And I think that's why I do that.
Don't get heady.
The dream didn't.
Yeah,
Don't make a sort of a soup about it.
Like,
I mean,
Alma says for us to be lions.
So don't just you had a dream that turned you and Michael into dragon,
Lion and dragon.
Celebrate.
Yeah,
Just celebrate and have compassion for yourself if you want to get wobbly.
I feel like kicking you really strongly.
I want to give you a big kick in the butt.
Really,
I'm serious.
I really feel like giving you a kick in the pants.
I mean what I say,
Don't do this heady thing.
It's like you kill yourself with your head,
Saskia.
It never has been safe.
It's always taken the fun out.
It's never really got you anywhere.
Overthinking things.
I'm kidding.
German.
I'm getting this like,
I don't know,
The centuries of conditioning.
I'm teasing you,
Sweetie.
Because Prima Suda has exactly the same old stuff too,
So.
Right.
There's no need to control.
This was done.
It's what I'm feeling is your little kid is going,
Is this really allowed?
Am I really allowed?
Can I do this?
Can I be a lion?
Really?
Yeah,
And reassure her.
Yes.
This is what I want.
You reassure her.
Reassure yourself.
It's okay.
I feel like I want so much to be loved,
To be seen and to be loved that I don't care what I am.
If I'm loved and seen when I'm a lion,
I do that.
Part of me feels like that.
I just,
I feel like I just,
I still,
It's the little child who's looking for love,
Who wants to be loved.
You see,
By allowing yourself to be a lion,
You are allowing love into you and you are moving into service of love.
And that's what gets us love.
Like Prema Suda gets love now because Prema Suda loves.
And Prema Suda is brave and loves.
So people love Prema Suda.
But if I wasn't brave and if I wasn't loving,
They wouldn't love Prema Suda so much.
They wouldn't because Prema Suda would be full of ego.
So we get love when we give love.
Yeah.
Right.
You let,
You serve love,
You let love flow through you.
And then you get loved as a byproduct,
But you don't care because you're so happy just letting love through.
That's nice.
Right.
You're not convinced,
But it's,
You and I will have fights if you,
We will,
If you want to keep doing this.
So just keep that in mind.
Think about how many fights you want with Prema Suda,
Or maybe you just want to get it.
I do get it.
I do get it.
Yeah,
I do.
I really do.
It feels nice,
That idea of giving love to be loved.
That hits home.
Right.
It's our job.
We came here to embody the love that we are.
That's our job.
Yeah.
And when we do it,
Everything works.
Everything works.
Mm hmm.
It feels like a permission.
That feels like a permission to do that.
Good.
Yeah.
Good.
That's a lot of what I do for you guys is I actually do give you permission.
It's that.
And I model it.
I model that it's safe to do it.
Yeah.
And this one came here to do that.
I really do think I had probably like 12 lives lined up.
I really feel this.
And I,
When I set this life up,
I went,
My soul went,
Okay,
Let's see if we can get through the whole thing,
This lifetime with Amma's help,
Because she's here.
So it was like a gamble.
So it was,
Doing this enabled me to clear up a lot of lives very quickly and then turn around and help you guys as a byproduct.
Not that you need my help.
You guys are doing very well.
You're all God.
It's getting stronger and stronger in you guys.
It's getting stronger and stronger.
And some of you are a little sensitive flowers,
But it's still getting stronger in you.
Thanks Saskia for being so sweetly open.
You're very dear.
And I think that's like dream that's saving you five years of evolution.
Eva,
I've got the feeling,
I want to speak to you,
Sweet one.
How are you?
How are you?
I can't say,
I just feel,
I'm glad that you spoke up to me,
But I don't have so much to say.
I just feel part,
It's like I'm excited and I'm,
Today I was a little bit tired hearing this during the satsang and yeah,
It's going up and down.
And it's like,
Sometimes I feel very touched and sometimes I feel a little bit reserved or a little bit disconnected with other people,
But things are going up.
I think it's fine.
It's okay.
It's like,
Yeah,
I don't know how to explain that.
No,
It feels good.
It just feels that there's some forgiveness in your heart that needs some permission to expand,
Permission to be felt that is kind of sitting in your heart,
But you're,
It needs to be allowed more.
It's just this kind of global forgiveness,
Forgiveness of self,
Forgiveness,
Just kind of a forgiving,
Kind of a forgiving,
Oh,
We're all human kind of attitude,
You know,
Just like that.
And that again,
I'm getting the permission again,
That you've permission for that to get bigger seamlessly.
You don't have to do anything.
Just maybe observe.
Right.
And forgiveness for yourself and just a forgiveness.
And there's nothing that you need to forgive yourself for.
It's like,
It's all beautiful,
Really.
And whatever we do,
We had to do because it's already happened.
So there's in a way,
Nothing to forgive because it was all kind of pre set up to be this way by our souls.
So in one way,
We don't even need to forgive,
But on another way,
When we really allow this sweet forgiveness to feel it more,
It will bring you to the closer to the creator,
Eva.
You really want to get closest life and you are.
It's a very sweet forgiveness.
It's coming from a very great sensitivity.
Hmm.
You're still not quite sure about it,
But that's okay.
It's like a forgiveness and a letting go.
It's a forgiveness and a letting go of any sense of evil,
Of any sense of being bad or focusing on something that's bad or seeing.
Hmm.
Yeah.
It's,
It's more a letting go and letting yourself drop into more unconditional love and,
You know,
A little bit of self forgiveness for not getting it earlier,
But you don't even need to play there because it was all choreographed this way.
Hmm.
It's very beautiful.
You're very sensitive,
But the loving you is very,
Very strong and it's invincible.
Yeah,
It is.
It wins.
It just,
It's just winning.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
That's it.
Well,
You guys,
I'll tell you,
You're getting so easy to work with.
You're like marshmallows.
It's like,
Oh my goodness.
It's a very happy.
I'm very happy.
Corinne,
I think probably Corinne,
You'll be the last person.
Thanks Eva.
You'll be the last person for this time,
But I just want to hear how you're doing.
Hi.
I am,
I feel a little bit like I had my,
I was making some moves,
Like changing,
Uh,
Like maybe the way I,
Um,
Interacted and then now I'm feeling very angry and kind of like,
It's almost like I'm playing games or something within,
I've noticed like everywhere,
Uh,
Kind of,
And then there's something with my sister where I was like,
Oh,
I don't think she heard me.
Um,
And then I kind of like pouted like a little child.
Like I kind of,
Like,
Cause I asked her the password and she was busy on her phone.
And then instead of saying,
Hey,
Um,
Like,
Did you like say it louder?
You know,
Like address the issue.
Like,
Oh,
Did you hear me?
Or do you need some time or something?
I kind of like,
And I could see my brain being like,
We want to wait,
We want to wait until the end.
And then we want to like teach her a lesson or something like that.
But there's no lesson to be taught.
Like it's like,
What,
You know,
What am I doing?
And I could see myself,
You know,
I remember asking myself,
Do you,
And this is not the first time in the week,
I think.
And I was like,
Do you really want to do that?
And I was like,
Noticing.
There's the yes,
But I think it was the ego saying,
Yes,
I want to do that.
Not really me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think it was your shadow side saying,
Yeah,
Yeah,
I do.
I agree with you.
Yeah.
And I'm trying to work at how to maybe have a conversation with her about having a better understanding of each other.
Cause I think our relationship is a little,
And now we have to work together,
Uh,
With the family stuff.
So I have to address it.
Okay.
But you know,
Corinne,
I actually think you need to understand yourself better and love yourself better.
You can,
You can address it with her,
But you know,
I,
I think you need to,
Like,
I think you're scared to really take yourself seriously.
I,
I,
You know what I mean?
I think you kind of,
You want to,
You're not half hearted.
You're sort of scared of really,
Um,
Taking your spiritual journey seriously and really,
I mean,
Yeah,
You want to just play games a little,
You know,
And,
And,
And I'll tell you,
You'll just make messes.
You can have to get more sincere about this journey and realize that you can do it too.
There's nothing stopping you.
So how do you feel honest?
Be very honest.
How do you feel about what I've said?
Um,
There's a clench,
Like I'm feeling,
Uh,
Like I want that,
But there's a clench.
I feel in the chest a bit.
Yeah.
In your heart,
In your heart area.
Yeah.
There's a clench.
Yeah.
So this is the clench that you live with actually,
Which is why you would have that response to your sister,
A kind of,
Um,
That's why you would be the way you were with your sister rather than open hearted.
Do you understand?
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
It'd be because of this clench that's operating that you're now becoming conscious of.
So this clench is,
Is how you are with yourself and it's how you are with others.
And then there's a nice smiley face put on top that doesn't fool anybody.
Yeah.
I mean,
To repeat that last line,
A big smile that doesn't fool anybody because it's over a clenched hearts.
Like that's what everybody's going to feel.
Yeah.
Right.
And that's,
Corinne has got a clenched heart for Corinne.
And that's what I'm saying needs addressing.
And to do that,
You'd have to get like,
Go,
Okay,
I'm,
I'm really going to get interested in the,
I'm not just going to turn up to the satsangs for some nice warm feelings and everything.
I'm teaching and I'm going to embody it.
I'm going to do it.
So how do you feel when I say that?
Honest.
Something happened.
It was having the chest kind of tingle,
Heart tingles.
And I'm feeling like a line going down from here down towards the solar plexus.
And then I'm feeling like clenching the solar,
Like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The control.
So a line down the center of your heart.
Yeah.
And leading to that place where the control,
Where it goes wider.
Okay.
So the control issue and your heart split.
Yeah.
So Corinne,
The thing is that,
You know,
You're going to have to take yourself seriously as a divine being in human form,
Who is worth Pramasutra working with.
And if you decide that you're worth Pramasutra working with,
You will get the knowledge.
But if you're going like,
Oh,
I'm not much and I'm not,
You know,
I'm,
I'm never going to wake up.
I'm not much.
I'm just doing damage control forever in my life.
Then you and I will have problems and your soul will have problems with you and everybody will have problems with you because you'll be corrupt.
You know,
You'll be split,
Not wanting to heal yourself.
Okay.
So think about this over the next few weeks.
Okay.
You don't have to do anything.
It's just,
It just needs to kind of gel in you that you can,
You can do this too.
You could really wake up and grow and become a beneficent person.
Okay.
Or,
But Corinne,
You may choose not to this life.
Okay.
You may choose not to.
Okay.
Really.
And,
You know,
It'll be,
You will make the choice that you want to make.
Okay.
So don't think it's going to be that you're a victim of anything.
It's,
We all have choice.
We have choice every second.
So it's just,
Will be what you're choosing.
Okay.
And it's kind of like part of you is in shock that I'm taking you seriously enough to actually put all these cards down on the table.
Yeah.
Right.
I can feel that shock.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I wanted.
I've been seeing what you were doing with everyone else.
So I wanted it straight.
You wanted it straight?
Like to figure out what,
Like,
Again,
Figure,
I guess,
To know what's going on a little bit.
To understand,
Like they're,
They're all beginning to understand themselves.
There's no reason why you couldn't.
You're not that complex,
Sweetie.
You're just a little scared and you don't think you're much.
And you can stay like that if you want.
If you want to stay like that,
I'll charge you $50 to attend a satsang.
Every satsang will cost you 50 bucks if you want to stay like that.
Okay.
Okay.
Well,
Just,
You know,
Just,
Just think about what I said and we'll just let it sit and let Amma cook it the way she wants it.
Okay.
And see if you notice any changes.
You know,
Because I can't do it.
I can't force it on anybody,
Right?
It only works if you want it.
Yeah,
But I,
I don't want to go in circles with you.
Do you know,
I don't want to,
I mean,
If you come,
I want you to be willing to grow if you come.
Because it's a growth-oriented satsang.
It matters what everybody's doing.
So if,
If it affects everybody,
We all affect each other.
You're okay,
Sweetie pie.
Yeah.
You know,
Don't,
Don't make a big soup of it.
Just,
Just,
Just get down to it.
Maybe you'll have a dream like Saskia had,
Something that makes it easy.
So how are you right now?
Um,
I was,
As you were speaking,
As you were,
The last bit of what you were speaking,
I could feel my hips kind of relax.
And I'm feeling like,
Not the same line from the chest,
But it's a little shorter,
Like kind of in the middle there.
Yeah.
And you're a little scared,
Right?
Are you aware of being a little scared?
Yeah.
I feel shaky.
Like,
My palms are sweaty and stuff.
Like,
I feel a little like,
Right.
And did you notice that I had to actually prod you to,
That you didn't tell me the truth fully.
You didn't,
I had to say,
Look,
I know you're scared.
And then you came forward with that you were shaky and you were sweating a bit.
Yes.
Okay.
That's what's difficult about working with you is you don't put the cards on the table.
Just be really,
Really honest with me and we'll get along fine.
Okay.
Be more honest with me than you've ever been with anybody in your life.
And we will get along fine.
Okay.
Okay.
It's safe to be honest,
Corinne.
That's actually part of your learning this life.
Sweetie,
Your brother was too scared to wake up.
Okay.
So I don't know what you want to do,
Whether you want to do a version of what he did,
Or whether you really just want to find out what love is this life.
No,
I don't want to do what he did.
Well,
Think about what I'm saying to you,
Because you are doing it a bit with the way you withhold from me.
And you're not really fully straight and you're scared of,
Scared of me.
I really want to,
You know,
I'm putting my hand out.
I really want to like,
Where it doesn't save you,
But it's a little bit like you're in quicksand.
Yeah.
And come on out.
Come on.
I can pull you out of this.
You don't have to be there.
You can,
You can,
All the people who are talking,
Sweetie,
I mean,
Some of them have been so scared and so mixed up and they,
They're not anymore.
They've come through it all.
And you can too.
You just,
You just have to like,
Give it a go,
You know?
Yeah.
Look at the hearts from Jenna.
Everybody's,
You're pulling everybody's heartstrings,
Sweetie,
Because everybody knows what,
What it's like to be scared.
Yeah.
But it's so scary to live one's whole life like that.
You don't want to do that.
You want a chance of the light coming in.
Yes,
I do.
Yeah.
Okay.
You feel a little stronger now.
Yeah.
It's good.
It's good work,
Sweetie pie.
Just this was good work.
Okay.
Relax.
You're not,
I'm not gonna put you in the guillotine or not gonna,
There's no firing squad.
Yeah.
But actually you made a shift into more embracing yourself.
So,
You know,
I would think things will get easier with your sister just because of that.
Yeah.
Just do your best with her.
Okay.
Yeah.
You're very sweet.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Everybody's feeling not to go to her.
That's why I haven't yet.
Yeah.
And remember everybody,
There's a pair page on my webpage and you get,
Um,
It's by donation and you get twice daily prayers for you or anybody who's sick or needs extra help.
And I spend real time with each person.
Yeah.
Okay.
Bye.
