Special Focus Satsang: Finding The Inner Sweet Spot

Loving the small child within is the secret to both happiness and spiritual progress. It is also the greatest gift any of us can give the world.

Why is it so difficult?

Well we're a materialistic society so the focus has been on acquiring wealth. But we have gone to such an extreme that Mother Nature is screaming while our mental and physical health are threatened by stress and avalanche of chemicals and pesticides to which our bodies are exposed.

The answer is to come back to center, to make friends with our hearts and begin listening to what the little child within is telling us.

If enough of us sincerely turn inside, Mother Nature will settle down and we will regain our peace. Premasudha says any of us can do it, if we sincerely open to the wisdom inside.

Transcript

You know,

In a way,

I feel like today is going to be,

Why are we so frightened to be ourselves,

You know?

What is the payoff?

What's the payoff,

You know?

Yeah.

It's sort of like a mom who really loves her children and trying to be like a bad mom,

You know?

Trying to suppress her love for her children and doing all the things that she feels a woman should be doing,

Like,

I don't know,

Whatever our culture says.

That's what we're doing internally to ourselves often,

And it's what I face day after day after day after day with so many.

Yeah.

And it's so,

You know,

Bringing us into more heartache and hardship in the world.

Yeah.

And,

You know,

People tell me how scared they are to comment,

And it's like,

Or make observations,

And it's sort of like,

You know,

Be brave and step forward.

It's like,

What am I supposed to do about any of this,

You know?

And come forward and connect more to your truth just by self-exposure,

You know?

And there's a level that it can't be forced or,

You know,

But without it,

We don't get very far,

Because the exposure is just of our egos,

You know?

It's just your ego that's exposed.

It's like,

That's why you come to the training,

Right?

And even if I'm hard with you a little bit,

You know,

Sometimes you have to use a prickle to get out,

To use a thorn to get out of,

Get rid of another thorn.

You know,

And sure,

As the young child within,

We're scared of mommy or daddy yelling at us,

But you know,

You guys are adults,

And you know,

I don't really yell.

I might remonstrate,

But it's just when your ego's trying to run the show,

It's sort of like,

That's the purpose.

It's why you want to come and listen.

Yeah,

Right,

Yeah,

Because there are all kinds of levels of teachers around.

I mean,

There are teachers who will flatter,

You know?

I don't want a teacher that will flatter me.

That's the last thing that I need right now.

I need the truth.

I always stumble down when I'm here.

I learn so much,

And it's needed,

And it's hard to find people that will say it to you directly,

And I just wanted to say I love you for that,

Rameshuta.

Yeah,

Thank you.

Thank you,

Thank you.

It comes from a lot of devotion,

And sometimes I feel like a mama who's just got like 28 kids running around in circles.

Anyway,

You know,

We all have our crosses to bear.

It's okay.

It's a delight working with you guys.

But I want to make the terms of the training.

It's like this.

I can help you honor your true natures,

Okay?

I can help you.

I can validate the little child within.

That's really what this work is,

A validation of the little child within that energy,

And a validation of your soul,

And then you get support from me about how to live it.

Right,

And because we're human,

The first step is often the ego comes in and says,

Okay,

Mom,

I want you to be this way with me,

And I want you to prop up my ego,

And this one goes,

I can't do that,

But I'll help you out of it.

Right,

Good.

Good.

Okay,

Good.

And you see,

To be helped out of it,

You have to be humble enough.

And this is the rub for so many,

And I get it.

You know,

May you get really clear about the difference between just an open humility,

Which is what I'm wanting to see,

And a false,

Not feeling good about yourself.

Not feeling good about yourself.

Right.

Which is what many walk around in and get mixed up and think,

This is humility,

But it's not.

Humility is like with tremendous faith in yourself,

At the same time understanding that you have so much to learn.

Okay,

So there's a lot of light coming in.

Okay.

I can feel a lot of light coming in.

That's it.

That's why we come,

To open up to the light.

Learn how to open up to love.

And allow it in our bodies.

That's it.

That's it.

That's it.

And you know,

You're perfect the way you are.

You're perfect in all your human imperfections.

This is what we're like.

Right.

That's it.

Okay,

That's it.

That's it.

Respect and honor for you as you are right now.

That's it.

As you are right now.

That's it.

With all the lives that you've lived that are impacting this one,

In ways that you might not consciously understand.

So,

You might trip over something that you repeatedly do,

And it may be coming from 50 lives,

Or it may be coming from one life,

Where you experience great difficulty and pain.

And it's coloring the weave of your experience in a darker way.

It's adding shadow to it.

And your ego will be scared to let you remember this life or clear this material.

Because if it does,

Your ego is going to die.

So,

This is what any spiritual person can do.

Your ego is going to die.

So,

This is what any spiritual seeker walks around in.

And that's what makes it so difficult sometimes.

Where we have one hand wanting,

Like a left hand doing something,

And the right hand doing something else.

Because we've got like some life in there that told us it was unsafe to love.

Right.

Just be with yourself and feel your body.

Feel your heart area.

Feel what your body feels like.

Feel what your clothes feel like on your skin.

Right.

Just being fully present with yourself right now.

In this moment.

That's it.

That's it.

You can live like this.

Aware of your body.

Aware of what your clothes feel like on your body.

Aware of any tingles or tensions.

Just noticing.

That's it.

You can live like that.

Right.

You might be noticing some numbness.

Right.

You might be noticing some numbness.

It's the parts of you that have wanted to stay kind of hidden and asleep.

So,

You don't have to take responsibility.

Really.

Really,

You know,

I'll tell you.

All seekers,

You know,

We all want someone to like fix us,

Help us,

Help us like do it for us.

The teacher is always going,

No,

No,

No,

No,

No.

It doesn't work that way.

You have to do it.

I can't lift these lives off you.

Only you can see the lie of them.

Only you can,

You know,

Grow through them.

It's like,

You know,

Really when I look back on the journey,

I had some sleepless nights where I was experiencing heightened tension or fear.

I didn't really know why.

And I just prayed for grace as much as possible when I could remember,

You know,

With the mind going,

Duh-duh-duh-duh.

And then grace came,

And lots of times I would remember the life was clearing in the middle of the night,

And I'd go,

Oh.

And so,

The next day,

I was freer.

It's like this,

You guys.

It's like riding a bucking bronco sometimes.

But I just think we're at the end of the line.

I mean,

You know,

We're so at this end point.

At this end point,

It's like,

Why,

You know,

There's such a need for millions of people to wake up right now in order for the ship to right itself.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's it.

You know,

This is,

You know,

It's a focus session.

So,

Really,

With you guys,

This is going very deep in you.

It's like you've all come for extra work,

And there's a very deep thing that I'm feeling in everybody,

Okay?

And it's something that actually interferes with your spiritual growth.

And I think what I'm going to say isn't going to make much sense to your logical mind,

In a way.

It might if you've got,

Like,

If you're a poet,

It might.

But you'll know exactly what I'm talking about intuitively,

Is what I'm feeling is with all of you kind of at the root,

Right when you connect to your true nature,

There's almost,

It's almost like the experience of being in the meat grinder,

Okay?

Yeah.

And it's like,

It could be,

This could be cleared.

There could be a gentler connection to your soul and you.

This meat grinder is 21st century technological mechanistic training,

Kind of,

Where we feel we have to produce,

We have to fix,

We have to,

You know,

Be at attention all the time,

On red alert all the time,

Right?

Right.

It's not true.

It's like,

I have gone through life like an Aboriginal person for about 30 years,

Just with the simplicity of an Aboriginal person,

And I've functioned just fine in this culture in a little bit of an eccentric way,

But I paid my bills,

My bills all got paid.

You know,

I traveled,

I did a whole bunch of 21st century things,

But I did it with the simplicity of an Aboriginal consciousness,

And this is what I'm wanting to,

It's a solution to this meat grinder thing that so many of people are carrying,

Where they don't feel they can just be themselves.

They have to produce and distort and please and manipulate,

And they might not even notice.

This is,

You'd have to pay attention to your experience,

Maybe,

To know what I'm talking about.

But I just had an exchange with a student,

And I was expecting sort of an open-hearted open-hearted Aboriginal exchange,

And she greeted me more with the meat grinder,

Because that felt safer to her than to meet her teacher in an open-hearted exchange.

This is how crazy it gets.

And we feel safer greeting our teacher like that because we don't really trust that the Creator exists,

And that we'll be taken care of,

And that we're okay the way we are.

You're all very beautiful.

Nobody is doing anything wrong,

Okay?

It's very,

Very beautiful.

The fact you can be here as I'm speaking like this is fantastic.

You're not doing anything wrong.

You know,

Non-dual teachers will talk about how the silence does everything,

And non-dual teachers,

Often male,

Will teach in silence.

They'll just be silent and just a few words.

And it's true.

Silence and the Creator is doing everything,

And it is what evolves us.

The trouble is,

What this one finds with our particular consciousness is you could sit in silence for like 50 years and somebody might not get it.

And I can't speak for Amma,

But this is where it makes sense to me that she hugs us,

She touches us,

So she gives us our physical organism an experience of unconditional love,

And she's lifting,

If we allow it,

She will lift off the defenses so that we can receive love inside and outside better.

Right,

Okay,

Good.

So,

This is why I speak and I talk about meat grinders and all the tricks the ego can do,

Because I'm wanting to help you off this wall of numbness.

It's like a wall of numbed-out alienation,

Which is how so many of us greet life from.

We've been conditioned into it.

It's what we grew up with.

You know,

Stay numb,

Turn the light down,

Don't feel,

Don't think,

Just follow the rules.

So,

I'm just wanting to point this out so that you can be willing to sort of open your third eye and let yourself see what you're doing.

In the way you live your life,

See how this numbness functions.

There's a point where a person jumps off the wall of alienation.

They jump,

They actually choose.

They choose to come down to the ground and bond with their true natures.

And bond with all of life and bond with humanity.

They make that jump.

And before that,

Their point of safety will be,

They'll go into this kind of attached,

Like looking at something under a microscope.

They won't let their hearts get touched.

They won't let their beings get touched.

They're just trying to figure out how life works and about what the best way to go forward is in an intellectual,

Alienated way.

That's where most people start.

They're standing on this wall of alienation,

And this alienation is in the cells of their bodies,

As well as in their thought patterns.

And that's why it's so hard to get over.

Because we have to let that alienation melt as our hearts open and our third eye opens.

Right.

And then our egos melt.

And it's like we've taken the jump into the connection to the ground,

To our beings,

To all of life,

And we will get much simpler when we do this.

Much simpler.

Our minds won't do nearly so many loops of complexities.

Just be simpler.

It's like living more like an Aboriginal.

It's a very tall order,

You guys.

But,

You know,

It can be done.

It's like it's kind of the solution.

It makes life very pleasant just to get simpler,

Truer.

And if you have to be by yourself more,

You know,

Supposing you lose all your friends,

Oh,

Well,

You know,

You'll get more friends who are truer.

I feel there's a big shift coming with Ama coming to North America and Europe.

I think there's going to be a mass jumping off the wall going on.

Okay,

Something that somebody mentioned,

You know,

With the Aboriginal thing,

It all comes back to the body.

And a very sincere seeker was mentioning that she could feel the difference when she was having conflict with somebody if she focused on keeping her hands open.

Because,

You know,

When we're in conflict,

We might not even realize that we're making fists.

And just having the awareness to be able to,

Even if you're fighting with somebody,

To think about keeping your hands open,

That will give you a gateway into more truth,

Into solving this conflict more.

And it is a step off this wall of alienation.

It's jumping off and connecting up with,

Like,

Body awareness more.

Same with,

You know,

Awareness of Mother Nature.

It's all the same,

You guys.

We're Mother Nature.

Our bodies are pure Mother Nature.

So,

If you can,

When you're having a battle with someone or,

You know,

Angry at your kids,

Just focus on keeping your hands open.

That is how simple what I'm trying to transmit to you guys is.

It's just a matter of remembering to do something to come back to your self-awareness and,

Say,

Focus on your hands.

But the main thing I'm trying to encourage is this ability to come back to your body awareness when you're in a threatening situation and not just get lost in your head.

Just come back to being present and aware of that you're in a difficult situation.

And then you will find the doorway out of that situation.

Yeah.

In fact,

Your awareness of your body when you're in a difficult situation,

When you're in a difficult situation,

Is the doorway out.

Because your body,

If you're lodged in your body awareness,

You are lodged more in your heart and that will give you the door out of your head.

Right.

Okay.

It's this,

The doorway out of your head.

I can feel it.

It's the point of the whole satsang,

In a way.

Doorway out of your head is coming back to presence in the moment and being aware of your body.

And you'll learn,

You'll learn what you'll just,

I learned by bumping into all the walls that prevented this till I finally surrendered enough.

Okay.

So there's a big kind of a cloud of static and it's like,

I'm going to put words to it for you.

I'm not allowed to do that.

It may work for premasuddha,

But I'm not allowed to do that.

And this is coming from the little child within.

Learned that she could not be herself in the emotional climate at home.

Okay.

But it's this decision,

You know,

To be willing to even practice becoming more aware,

Practice it.

I mean,

Really.

To try to,

I call that steering this way,

You know,

Putting your heart into it.

Oh,

Kind of,

It's a realization.

It's like,

Nothing's going to change until I pick up the reins of my life more.

That's the realization.

And the reins of your life are,

You know,

Being willing to come back to being present,

Being willing to be aware of your body.

You know,

Your body will tell you the solution.

Like,

You know,

If you're in an experience and you notice your heart's closed,

That's the problem.

That's where the whole experience is coming from.

Because from the heart being closed,

You're being given like a theatrical play that you're living through,

Showing you your closed heart.

As I've said before,

We create the circumstances around us to show us what we're having trouble with.

So again,

You know,

Might be having conflict with a person close to us,

But you could also be in a store,

Or you could walk past a person who you judged,

And you noticed your heart closing as you judged this person.

Yeah,

You're your point of observation.

It's,

You know,

Our heads just distract us.

Yeah.

Thing is,

If you really decide,

You know,

That you want to be more present in the moment,

And you work on it,

You will get it.

You see,

Like sometimes we're just passive,

And we just want to listen to somebody for 10 years,

You know,

Tell us the same thing.

We have to put our heart into it.

Yeah.

Right.

Otherwise,

Nothing changes,

You guys.

We have to actively love that little child within,

And take her to our heart,

And listen to her or him,

And follow.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay,

Before I open up for questions,

I want to talk about each of our inner child will have a climate.

Okay.

There was one I was mentioning where the little child felt,

On a video recently,

And little child felt like everything's a mess,

And there was no hope possible.

Nothing to be done.

Okay.

If you feel like a situation's hopeless,

And there's nothing that can change it,

That is the big flag of the wounded inner child.

And it's a big flag saying the only solution is to surrender into the creator's energy,

Or surrender into your heart,

Because then a solution will come,

You see?

See,

We are so used to this climate of our inner child where we got squished,

And we feel helpless and hopeless underneath,

And that there's nothing that can be done about it.

And so,

What happens is this is why I find adults so passive about saving themselves.

They don't.

They won't be passive about earning money,

But they will be passive about doing the things to help themselves come into their hearts more.

And it's because the inner child felt it was hopeless and helpless,

But it's not.

You see,

Any authentic spiritual teacher had exactly the same feelings,

And he or she just surrendered into truth over and over,

Prayed,

Had sleepless nights,

Whatever it took,

You see?

So,

The teacher's going,

Hey,

It's not helpless and hopeless,

But the teacher will also say it's not solvable on any other level than getting right down to how the child felt,

And to see how much your whole lives are lived in this feeling.

And that no matter what you do,

It never goes away,

And it's always there,

And will always show itself over and over,

And you just have to give it over to the Creator and let your soul come in and re-weave it.

It's like re-weave what I was talking about,

The child,

Re-weave it.

It's like re-weave what I was talking about,

The tapestry with gold threads.

I used to feel totally helpless and hopeless,

And it's like I said,

The way my life was set up,

I just,

I had to deal,

So I just prayed,

You know?

I really knew nobody else could save me.

Right,

Please,

Thank you.

Some of you are nodding your heads,

Please get that.

Not in a defended way,

But to realize that you came in to allow this life to be re-woven in your God Self,

And who else could possibly do it for you,

Except that I look at you all,

And I know that you're all part of the same soul,

Do you understand?

We're just these little waves,

You know?

Then,

You know,

Buddhists would say we're little waves on a big ocean.

We're really all one,

But we've got our own little wave psychology that has to be healed into the ocean,

The ocean of awareness.

Yeah.

Right.

So,

You know,

When I would sometimes be going along,

And I would have intense solar plexus pain,

And so my life would be full of control issues.

I would be,

They would be in every direction,

And I would be feeling this pain,

And I would take my heart energy and surround,

You know,

Expand it,

And sort of embrace this solar plexus pain of control,

And that would help steer my psyche towards allowing the healing.

And then that solar plexus energy of ego and control got re-woven into strengthening my heart.

Yeah.

See,

It's so easy.

It's just being willing.

It's sort of like,

It's sort of,

What I'm asking you to see is just so simple,

But it would take you out of your ego,

So,

Yeah.

So,

That's the blessing of it,

But that's also why the ego goes,

Ah,

I don't get it.

Nah,

Nah,

Nah,

Nah.

And it's like,

Okay.

Yeah.

There's a lot of love wanting to come through,

And we haven't got there yet,

Okay,

For whatever reason.

It's really wanting to come through before the satsang completes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

Amma made the shift where she asked everybody in the ashram to come forward and speak about the impact of Amma on their lives.

She asked people to come forward and show themselves.

And the same principle is with the satsangs,

You guys.

It's like,

Come forward and show yourselves,

You know,

And take what comes and,

You know,

Learn.

Because I'll tell you,

You're not going to learn nearly as much if you just sort of sit and try to be safe.

You'll learn far more if you actually kind of reach the intellect and reach,

You know,

Jump off this wall of alienation and be prepared to make an ass of yourself.

If it,

Like,

You know,

Like,

Be a fool,

You know,

Maybe you're going to look foolish.

Like,

You wouldn't look foolish to me or anybody else,

But you might think you're looking foolish.

Everybody else will be going,

Oh,

I'm so glad you spoke up.

I feel that way,

Too.

Yeah.

The love really wants to come,

But,

You know,

Sometimes the love can't come unless you make a step.

Right.

And so many of us are,

Like,

Trying to be well-behaved little girls,

Little boys,

You know.

Yeah.

Prima Sita?

Yes.

If it will serve.

And I just offer this if it serves,

If anyone else relates.

So I come to satsang and,

You know,

Just,

I just called to satsang,

Right?

And I come and then almost every time as you're speaking,

There's this part that comes up that's like,

I know this.

I know all that,

You know,

That and then I,

Oh,

I feel judged or like maybe some resentment comes up like,

Like,

I,

I just,

I wanted to share that.

And then in your speaking.

And as it wasn't like particular words that were said,

It was just like,

I just had like an aha moment of,

Like,

Just all the resistance kind of went away.

Like,

We're not on opposing sides,

You know,

Like,

Like,

Like,

It's not,

There's a part of me that I don't acknowledge it's you versus me,

But it's,

Do you know what I mean?

It's,

It's this kind of wherever this judgment or feeling judged is coming from.

I just had this moment and I,

I was writing my notes and I was like,

Yes,

You are beautiful.

Yes.

You are divine.

Like there's no opposition.

Like that was,

I just thought that might serve to share.

And you said about the ocean,

We're all waves and there's still a part of me that's like,

Yes,

I know that.

But I can also feel,

Wow.

There's,

It's like,

I have this golden path and I'm just able to shine light on it.

You have this golden path and you're able to shine light on it.

How,

Like,

Like,

Uh,

Like when I'm feeling resistance or judge or whatever,

It's like,

It's all muddled.

And then,

And then it's,

It's,

Um,

There's no light on the path and then it's like,

Like there,

That's it.

Like it's,

There's no fight.

Like,

I guess kind of like the machine you were talking about before,

Like,

Oh,

I need to work and I need to fight.

And yeah.

Yeah.

It's just like,

Oh,

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's good,

Jen.

That's very complete.

It's a very beautiful,

Big picture because the,

In the,

You know,

The formation of the ego,

It's when the child wakes up and goes,

Oh,

Mom is other than me.

Other people,

People aren't just me,

They're other.

So that comes up in the teaching is the egos clearing.

Right.

Just like what you said,

Like the experience of the teacher is being other and something to fight really.

And it's like,

Yeah.

And,

You know,

Sweetie,

Yeah,

We get stuff over and over,

So it'll be the same thing.

But when the penny drops at the higher level,

You know,

It's a higher level,

Right?

When the penny drops again and same old stuff,

Same old stuff.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh,

Good.

Yeah.

That's what it's like.

I'm sure for a lot.

You guys listening.

Yeah.

Hey,

Miss Judah.

It's Sri Lakshmi again.

Yeah.

Peace.

I have a,

I,

I,

What came up today was many past lives and I,

In this life,

Had to make the awareness and create an affirmation.

And my affirmation in this life is I will no longer protect my abuser.

And that was weeks ago,

Months ago,

Working on that.

And while you were talking,

I remembered about 10 past lives.

And I remembered showing up with gifts and somebody wanting to control them,

Showing up with purity and someone thinking that they could have purity by taking it from another person.

Having my hands bound so that I wouldn't use my gifts again for fear of being destroyed for them.

And I'm realizing that in this last life,

You know,

Amma,

When you were talking,

I saw a brick wall.

I really did see a brick wall and saw my,

My Amma on the other side of it.

And almost like teleportation pulled me through the illusion of that brick wall.

Okay.

And I know she's here.

Yeah.

Can I just come in?

Okay,

Sweetie.

Okay.

So in order to embody your divinity more deeply,

And this will be true for all of you guys across the board,

You have to physically go through these walls,

Like that brick wall.

So you could imagine that Amma pulled you through.

But now the integration is for you to have the experience of what it's like to be a brick wall,

Where you feel that you can hardly move,

Flexibility,

You might feel stuck in your perceptions,

You might feel how stuck in life you are.

Do you understand this?

Relax me.

It's like that will be,

That will bring you into a experience of self-realization energy.

Absolutely experience yourself as a brick wall.

Now,

This is what this one did in spades,

Which is why I know it works.

And when I'm working with people,

Often our emotional,

Intellectual levels,

And we get these visions and this experience of all these lives,

It's fantastic.

Relax me.

It's like wonderful,

Tremendous.

But then it's to bring in this understanding into the cells of your body,

Because I've noticed that people can spend years and years and years in this more subtle level that you're speaking from.

Does any of this make sense?

Relax me.

Yeah.

And I'm getting that this is now time to embrace it.

And if ever there was an opportunity that my soul was waiting for,

It's now.

Right.

And sweetie,

Just do your best with it.

And just be open and observe it like don't,

It's easy when we're going through walls in our cells of our body like this to judge ourselves and going,

We're not doing it right.

It's awful.

But it's not.

You're actually clearing the path to your soul so your soul can,

You're clearing the way to embody yourself,

To embody your true energy.

And relax me.

I know that you want that more than anything else in the world.

I really know this about you.

Okay.

So,

I'm right behind you.

Absolutely right behind you.

And what I help with people is to help them actually embody it at the aboriginal level,

Which is you go through the experience of being a brick wall and how deaf you are,

How numb you are,

All this stuff.

And then suddenly what you find is you've jumped up a whole new level.

And you become more love powerful.

Yes.

And it was Sri Laksmi who was the one who mentioned about keeping your hands open in conflict and the thing.

And that is exactly the embodiment level that I'm so interested in transmitting to you guys because it will save you lifetimes,

Save you years.

Yeah.

And don't,

Sri Laksmi,

Don't focus on the wall.

Don't go,

Okay,

I'm going to embody this brick wall.

Don't.

Just forget the whole thing.

Forget the whole thing and just notice and please email me if you need to.

Yeah.

You know,

In one of my fable books,

I talk about somebody who had a house and they built a house and the doors kept disappearing.

So,

He kept pushing down the wall and building doors after door,

But then they kept disappearing.

So,

Then finally,

He just walked into the wall.

He became the wall.

He felt how stuck he was,

How hopeless it all seemed.

And then all of a sudden,

He was through the wall and he was having a much higher experience of life.

And then he lived in a house where there were doors in the walls.

You see,

He just needed to—no,

Actually,

In the fable I wrote,

It was that he just experienced all these walls till finally he united with God.

So,

You know,

Even when we're a wall,

We might notice that we lose our fine motor coordination.

It's really—you might feel really stiff.

You might move with great awkwardness.

Yeah,

Right.

I'm going to go—this is the aboriginal way to spiritual development,

You know.

You know,

This is a simple zero to a hundred way.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Okay,

Good.

Thank you,

Sri Laksmi.

Okay,

And stay in touch.

Let me know how you're doing.

Okay,

Great.

Are there any other questions,

Please?

Okay,

Masuda?

Yes.

Something that was coming up for me that I thought I'd asked about?

Yeah.

I find that in my spirituality,

It's very seldom talked in a meaningful way about the sexual energy.

Yeah.

Because as I understand it,

The nuts and bolts of it is to take this sexual energy,

Ojas,

And to transform it into spiritual energy.

Could you talk about that from your perspective?

Well,

My experience is when the kundalini gets activated,

Often the experience is of heightened sexual energy,

And I just would walk around with it.

I would walk around in total kind of an energy of feeling lustful,

And it's like,

Okay,

Okay,

And then it would all settle down.

And,

You know,

It's part of a freeing of the kundalini.

It gets mixed up with sexual energy.

It's not even mixed up.

It's like when your kundalini's rising,

It's very possible to feel highly sexual and just be with it.

What answer were you wanting me to give you,

Vani?

Honestly,

I don't think I was wanting a particular answer.

I like that answer.

That's helpful for me.

Okay,

Good,

Good.

Okay,

Just checking.

Yeah,

No,

Really,

I find that it's just not talked about in any meaningful,

Useful way.

I know,

I know.

You know,

I think a lot of,

On the human level,

On the spiritual journey is not talked about.

It's the stuff I talk about,

I don't hear it being talked about at all.

So,

I'm with you.

And this is why we need female spiritual teachers,

My feeling,

To bring out this part of the aspect of the journey.

Yeah,

What it's like,

You know,

You're just feeling like you just want to have,

Make love with the whole world.

It can happen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No,

Thanks for asking.

I just wanted to say you permission.

I'm just feeling I'm okay.

You are just formally saying that you have permission to feel whatever you feel and to have whatever experience Amma wishes to give you on the way to your journey into selfhood.

Right.

Okay,

I'm gripping with the release of it.

I'm feeling like the pathway from your soul to your human self,

That there was a little bit of an obstruction there,

And I spoke,

My words are speaking directly to it.

And with the burps,

There's this release.

And you guys,

All of you listening,

Just go me too.

Let it help me too.

Please do that.

Do that.

Yeah,

Just do that all the time when I'm speaking.

Just go,

Okay,

I want the same thing to happen to me.

That's it.

It's a little child in the human level.

And so,

Bhavani,

That's very good work you did.

I don't know if you can,

I don't know if you feel it at all.

And it's okay.

You don't have to have felt it.

How are you about when I say that to you?

Good.

Yeah.

Good.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it's around,

The obstruction was part of trouble accepting your feminine,

Your femaleness,

Your female nature.

But,

And the female psychology.

I don't want to put any words,

More words.

I'm actually muddying the waters with more words.

So,

I'm just going to send love to you.

And thank you for speaking.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

So,

Bethan,

You had something you wanted to say.

Yes,

Please.

Can you hear me with my headphones?

Yeah,

Very well.

Okay,

That's cool.

I thought it might go a bit,

A bit tall.

Yeah.

The war parts,

And lots of other parts of satsang really run with me.

And I,

As usual,

Find it hard to,

Like,

Use the right words and describe the place I'm at at the moment.

But I'm aware there's changes or a direction.

There's something that I don't seem to be quite fully aligned with,

I suppose.

And,

Like,

And the universe keeps on sending me little signals and messages like it does to know me through nature.

Like,

I went for a walk the other day.

I went to take a path and I was like,

This one doesn't feel right.

So,

I turned around and right in front of me is a sign that said road ahead.

I sort of started laughing.

Okay,

I've changed my direction.

I have to go that way.

And I take another road and then there's a beam in the road and the arrows point in the other direction.

I'm just like,

So everything's like,

I'm making me kind of pointing the,

You know,

Turning around and kind of like,

Okay,

Looking at that,

Seeing that feeling.

And,

But finding music with it because I know I'm a little bit lost at the moment with,

Like,

How I live and where I live.

And,

Like,

I'm back to where I've been living for almost 20 years after that year away traveling.

And,

Like,

Everyone I seem to have known in that 20 years,

I walked down the street yesterday and today and it's like people just walk around the corner that I've ever known.

And it's just quite,

It's just like,

Well,

Hello,

Hello,

Hello,

Hello.

And it's,

I don't know if it's me just going through all this part of my life or if it's about me having a move in my life.

And then today,

Like,

This week is my friend's funeral to put new spiritual people into my life.

And it's really interesting because they all live in the same town,

Which is different to where I live.

And they all,

And that town kept coming from visions all the time I was in India.

It's just really interesting that these kind of,

Like,

Past lives were how I lived and these new ones.

And yeah,

I'm just,

I'm not sure where I'm at and where I'm going,

Really.

And I know there's changes and I'm not sure.

It's just that asset of patience,

But trying to be open.

Yes,

Sweetie.

I mean,

That's what it's like,

Do you know?

Yeah.

Like,

There's lots of that,

You know?

Kind of watching,

Seeing,

Feeling.

Yeah.

I mean,

You're very alert to the journey.

So,

This is good.

You're really alert to the journey.

There is,

When you were talking,

I could feel there was some subtle feelings in your heart that,

With you being kind of alert to the journey and,

Okay,

I'm doing this or this,

I'm,

You know,

It's,

You're drowning out a bit.

It's almost being a little overly wary about being on the journey.

Do you see what I mean?

Yeah.

I mean,

You can just be a human being going for a walk.

You're noticing the signs.

There's a,

You know,

It's funny,

Sweetie,

Because there's,

What I want to say to you,

But this will sound kind of off the wall,

But,

You know,

I look at you and you've,

With your jacket and your headphones and your face looks very,

Very different.

And your face looks very,

Actually,

Strong and beautiful.

And what you're,

I'll tell you what you're,

The energy that I'm getting is like a World War I pilot.

Yeah,

Flying over the ground,

Looking for,

Looking for,

You know,

Like,

And feeling as wary as a pilot,

A wartime pilot in the air.

The level of wariness that you're,

Live with.

And it's this belief kind of in war,

A little bit in destruction,

A little bit like,

You know,

Under threat.

And you see,

You guys,

This is how ridiculous it is.

Because if you,

If you look at her picture,

You can see this too,

What I'm talking about.

And what I've learned is the soul speaks through the blindingly obvious thing.

You see,

But this would be something that normally,

A normal perceptual level would discount.

They'd go,

Oh,

It's just because she's wearing earphones.

Oh,

It's just because of the coat.

And what I've learned is that it's everything about what we need to learn is showing all the time and it's blindingly obvious.

So,

This World War One,

And maybe you were a pilot in World War One.

Something really rings with you saying that.

Pardon,

Say it again.

Something really rings with you saying that.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Yeah,

Because you see,

Sometimes we're clearing a consciousness in a lifetime and it comes up or sometimes we get stuck in this consciousness.

Yeah,

Right.

And it's safer than you realize,

Beth,

And you don't have to be so on red alert about your journey and where you're going.

Like I walked around in,

In like not knowing where I was going for years,

Like,

I was just like,

That's,

Sorry,

It's kind of,

I'm not making you wrong.

Okay.

Yeah,

I don't feel like you are.

I agree with you.

I don't know where I am at the moment.

I'm clearly trying and being open.

Yeah.

And loving and sometimes humorous.

Yes.

And sometimes like,

Yeah.

Okay,

So your face has changed and you're coming out of this wartime energy,

Just even as you're talking,

It's beautiful.

Now,

One year,

Sweetie,

You were talking about meeting all the people that you used to know.

One year,

I met all my old boyfriends.

They were brought to me one after another.

It was off the wall.

I was about 45.

Yeah.

You know?

That happened when I was at my family's on the weekend,

Like my brother,

Who I've not seen for years,

Wanted to come around and see me.

I was like,

Wow,

Family in Canada that I've not been in touch with for 20 years wanted to call me.

It's just like,

Yeah,

It's just like everything from just coming.

It's just,

Yeah.

I'm just allowing it and flowing with it.

Yeah.

And they could be wanting to tap into the energy of what you're doing with your time with Amma and the shifts you're making,

You see.

Yeah,

I absolutely agree.

Totally agree.

Right.

So,

Your face.

About their awareness,

Yeah.

Your face,

Like everybody can see it,

I'm sure.

Your face is relaxed and you've lost this weariness.

You don't look like a pilot to me anymore.

Yeah,

That is how subtle and how powerful.

And we women are very good at these subtle observations.

So,

You guys,

The spiritual journey is showing you this stuff all the time.

It's really subtle stuff.

And the more you love yourself and come into full presence,

The more you'll get it.

Yeah.

Okay.

You've gone back a little bit into World War One pilot.

It might have been a little dog that came up to me.

Is there a dog that came up?

I'm in a park.

Yeah,

I'm in a park.

Oh,

Dear.

Oh,

Dear.

Maybe that's why I saw the concentration.

Are you wondering if it was going to bite you or not?

I don't know.

We'll place it a little bit.

Yeah.

See,

You guys,

You've all got these gentle smiles.

This is it.

It's coming home.

It's coming home to you.

It's coming home to yourself and what you already deeply know.

And you're all like gifted students at this perception,

This level of perception.

It's just loving yourself more so that you honor it.

That's all I did.

And it's the little child within will give you this information all the time.

Oh,

Dear.

I had literally had a conversation with someone before the satsang who I've just met,

Like a spiritual friend.

Yeah.

I'm talking about the journey.

I said,

At the moment,

It's about learning to love myself.

That's where I really feel I'm at.

It's like giving out the love,

But it's also about loving myself.

It really is.

Yeah.

The loving yourself,

That's where you give love from.

So yeah,

But you guys,

You've all like coming home to your heart a little more.

This is fantastic.

It's just your you-ness that is so valuable.

And it's like I just love you over the head.

But you're doing it.

And you see,

We got here by you guys coming forward and speaking.

You know?

Yeah.

Yay.

Yeah.

Such happiness.

Yay.

Coming home.

Coming home to your heart.

Wonderful.

I'm thrilled.

You know,

At the start of the satsang,

I'm going like,

Well,

Where is this going?

We ended up.

I knew we'd end up here.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

Is there anybody else who needs to say something?

I just want to give you a big kiss.

Oh.

Thank you.

Thank you for coming with me.

I'm like blessed out of my tree.

Thank you.

Thank you for being in this life and all of you.

I give thanks every night.

Honestly,

I'm so blessed.

It's unbelievable.

Even though I don't know what's next.

I just know I'm blessed.

That's it.

Simple.

Oh,

That's lovely to hear.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I feel like a cranky mom half the time,

You know,

As I'm going.

It's kind of lovely when we have a moment like this.

And the comprehension dawns.

I'm so happy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm so grateful.

I'm just so grateful that you open and you let me give to you.

That you create a place where I can give this gift,

You see.

Because it's like a mother's milk,

You know.

We all know as a mother that when you want to nurse a child,

It's like it hurts.

You know,

Your breasts fill up.

So,

It's so lovely when it can be transmitted.

I'm just so grateful.

Yeah.

Well done,

You guys.

You all got it.

I'm so happy.

Okay.

Well,

I guess it's bon voyage.

And some of you will come tomorrow.

But just all of you guys,

I love you so much.

And I'm so grateful you come.

Yeah.

Oh,

Yeah.

The heart.

Yeah.

Blessings.

Blessings.

Blessings.

May Amma grace us all.

Yeah.

Anna's… Oh,

Atiba,

You're on.

And Anna set off some hearts going up.

Did you see those?

Yeah.

Yeah,

Coming home to our hearts.

And we can have our… We can have our true nature.

And it's just valuing what you see.

Yeah.

And not trying to fix it.

Yeah.

Oh,

My heart is just so open right now.

I am so blessed,

You guys.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

In fact,

You know,

I know that we've opened some doors here for tomorrow's satsang,

Too.

Do you know that you've done like a labor of love today?

We've done a labor of love.

It will make it easier for the light to be transmitted tomorrow as well.

Right.

As well as in your bodies for now until eternity.

Yeah.

More light can come in.

Okay.

I'm going to stop talking.