Q&A Satsang: Loving Practical Help With The Journey

The Rise of the Divine Feminine energy within us humans is asking us to become more comfortable with our emotional and spiritual aspects.
This can be challenging for individuals raised in a technological, mechanistic society which has taught us a very outward and material focus.
Not many of us had someone in the family who was true to their hearts and walked with integrity.

So this is a big learning curve too for these satsang members who are willing to let their sacred cows be unraveled in a climate of unconditional love and grace.
Brave souls indeed.
It is the lived journey which brings light to the world. We have to Be The Change We Want To See, not just talk about it, if we wish to help out here.

May All The Beings In All The Worlds Attain Peace And Happiness.

Transcript

Blessings to you all. I know that we have Alma's grace, We have the Creator's grace coming to all of us. And it's really understood that it's a difficult time on the earth. You'll get everything you need. Any difficulty you're going through is just what's necessary to help you wake up. Please, Just have that wide-ranging, Big embrace. Yeah. It's all to help you. And just keep asking for grace. Constantly. Alma's grace. Alma's grace is the Creator's grace. Hi Prema Sudha. Veronica, Sweet one. Hi. Hi. I have a question regarding chronic pain and how it shows up in the body. Yeah. So something that I've been experiencing is chronic joint pain that I've had for over 15 years. And part of me feels like, Because I didn't do anything specifically to cause this pain in my body, It just kind of appeared as an autoimmune response. And part of me is wondering if it's like some sort of chronic link from like past lives or something like that, That I need to become aware of to clear. And I don't know. I'm not sure if that's. . . It's a good question. So make sure you listen to my answer though afterwards as well. Listen to it again, Not just me saying it. Okay, So I told you guys that I walked around with really intense like nine out of 10 joint pain in every joint of my body for three months. And when I was through it, I was physically much more flexible and mentally much more flexible. Okay, So I'd say that's some resistance to your chi and it's in all your joints. So it's something. Now the important thing is to realize that these bodily things are emotional, Sure, And it's connected to past lives, But you as a vehicle for the divine, Like you're using your humanness as a, You know, You're a divine being. You can say to Amma, The creator, You can say, Okay, Make this clear and please show me, Take me through it and help me through all the, You know, Shifts and integrations and understandings as gently and easily as possible. But I'll tell you guys, And this is part of what this satsang is for tomorrow. It's really around how, Partly because of the patriarchy, There's, But it's not, I don't want to just stick a label on it. It's really just our state. There's a really lack of understanding for how to evolve. And there is a lack of us giving us permission to lie down for the operations, Like Amma says. So we try to sort of sort it out at the personality level, At the head level, And it's not solvable that way. Even, Look at our mental health things. So if you have mental problems, You go, You get diagnosed, You get labeled, And you get a drug. There is nothing about helping somebody right through the shift. Whereas, You know, In the East, They know that the mental distress is a transition point. It's on the way to a higher vibration. Okay, Veronica, This is, The fact it's been for 15 years is showing you that you're in this place in our culture where we just hold things. There's no solution. It just becomes chronic. And I'm saying to you, You can move through this and be free of joint pain through understanding that it's a vibrational shift, And it will feel unsettling to go through, Sweet one. Okay, It is not, Some of you are trying to like have the spiritual journey all sewn up in your heads and avoid the, You know, The discomfort that we really have to go through in order to make these shifts. So even me talking, I can feel there's some light coming into your joints. Yeah. It's like, Do you understand what I'm saying to you? What are you doing with what I'm saying to you, Veronica? What's your? Yeah, So I'm really taking what you're saying to heart and I'm trying to, I'm like getting these images of Alma reaching through you and kind of like touching my, My deep hip joint pain, But it's like coming in through the chest and radiating downwards. I hear what you're saying about holding on to things and needing to let go of them. That's something that I'm working on. Yeah, You see, You guys, To clear this stuff, Sometimes we have to feel a bit crazy. Like, You know, You're not crazy, But it might feel like you're a bit crazy as you're going through this because it's stuff that has been pushed down because of our very technological, Mechanical culture. So we tend to push down so much emotional material. Yeah, I'm realizing that there are more channels available to release this energy than I've ever had before. And specifically like in regard, It feels like, It feels like standing inside of a tower and looking upwards and seeing that there are windows that are open on every level, Including the level I'm standing on. Okay, And I'd say to you, Open the door and come out of the tower. That is exactly it. It's this tower that is a problem, The watchtower. We're on alert, We're watching, We're trying to figure it out. It's that open the door and come out of the tower into the sunshine, Veronica. I love that. Because it's true. Just as we talk about the ivory tower, We talk about the tower of Babel with all the voices speaking and nobody listening. Wow. Yeah. And it's to come out and, And kind of bond with, You know, Just the simplicity of the earth plane in a way, Bond with the earth, Come out of trying to figure stuff out with our heads. This is really, You know. It's amazing. Well, You know, My concern is the spiritual journey, Especially for the, For the sweet ones, You know, And for who are moms, You see, We can, We can get so caught in the tower, We, We miss the simplicity of just raising kids. And it's, It's what I did a lot. But also, You know, We miss the solution, We miss the simple solutions to our lives, You know, We make a big. Yeah, The tower. Yeah. Keep imagining yourselves come out of the tower you guys. Because we're all in one. We all start out in one. This is the fairy tales remember Rapunzel's at the top of the tower. This is a lot of what the feminine mind can do. We go into the tower and then we need the male energy to kind of go through the prickles, Or hold on to our hair and rescue us and bring us back down to the ground. The simplicity. And that is movement into your heart. That is movement into the male and female energies balancing in your heart. Right. The spiritual journey you guys, It's, It's, It's. You know, The point of meditation practices is to lead us to this deeper understanding lots of times we might think oh I'm on the journey because I get up at eight o'clock every day and I meditate, And it's, It only is useful if it's bringing you to a bigger understanding, A bigger lived understanding. The gift of this work is so feminine. So it spotlights highlights this emotional realm this. Yeah. Yeah, It's like a timeless feeling. Right. And that, That is also your soul energy that timeless feeling. So, I saw your joints light coming in, And this resistance being dislodged so just be with understanding that you're that this is your process and just be with the material that comes up for you as this is cleared and keep moving into more and more trust and more and more embrace of your own heart. Embrace of your own sweet humanity and your divinity. All of us. All of you, All of you. Thank you. Oh, Thank you, Veronica, Thank you for, And let me go, Let me know how things go for you please. I will. Yeah, You're free to email or whatever. Yeah, Sweetie. Yeah, This is this is this stuff that will keep the human race on the planet you see this list, Including this emotional level more learning how to embrace it rather than what we're doing. Some of you really kind of hide, You know, You don't come forward. Really like, You know, The more you can just come forward and just show yourself show your state show your vulnerability show the misunderstanding the whatever. It has a chance to be healed like if Veronica hadn't asked. She might have walked around with this for another five years, You know, What I'm talking about, Come on. I mean, If it feels right don't force don't force but I'm just saying, I noticed that, You know, Whether it's especially you know the women, Whether it's that we feel that there's something wrong with us. This emotional level is not allowed. And it is. And sometimes it's even hard to articulate a question I understand that. And there's no, You know, It's okay, You'll just be surrounded sending you grace you're surrounded by grace. Stephanie. Yeah. I just wanted to ask a question about. There's a metaphor that's often used about steel, And how you put the steel into the fire to harden it and it comes out of the fire. Am I misunderstanding the metaphor wrong and I was just wondering if you could speak to that. You're right, Sweetie it is I mean I remember Abraham talking about how you know you put steel into the fire. It, The more it goes into the fire the stronger the steel is so the same with us, The more we can go. You know we go into these spiritual fires and we keep turning to the Creator, Asking to ask him for help. Then we get more and more pure, More and more. But there's another level which is on an ego level we can get steely. And also, How do I put it. There is our, Our divine being is invincible. But most of us. Most of us many of us don't know about the invincibility of the divine being and we keep trusting a kind of steely level in ourselves. This is part of the problem with the journey and it's also part of you know like why, You know, Teaching is so it's so hilarious because it really you, You can't teach you can just love people and hold the space for them to make the shifts. One of the things that I really found within this one was a level of steel, A steeliness and a metal, It was like metal, It would be images in me of metal, Like mechanistic metal. And, You know, I'm so verbal that I would, I looked at it metal spells me, Paul, You get it, Me tall like the ego tall ego big me tall. Process you know it is different, But so it would be a level of this steeliness in me would be a level of coming from not from the divine but coming from this ego part of me that wanted to be, You know, Number one. So, What the reason I emailed this to you was one of the things that when we're, When we're growing. When we're coming out of our ego. You guys, Everything can get chaotic. Is great chaos. And we're, We're often maybe in the abyss, We're in. It can feel like a river of experience that feels a little crazy and not, Not good, All this stuff is coming from the disowned feminine energy that is rising up right now. So when she rises up she's covered with duck. She looks very unpleasant. And so even women will tend to try to get through these phases as quick as possible sort of grab hold of somebody to pull us out of it just get out of there. And to be on the journey sometimes you have to walk there for a bit, Where it doesn't feel pleasant but the results are so good, You don't get to you don't get to embody your divinity without these periods and when they come, Most people just try to jump out of them. It's like Churchill said something when most people come across truth they pick themselves up dust themselves off and try to forget it as quick as possible. See, Even spiritual seekers will do this. So it's not to be stuck, You know, In, In real difficulty or anything but it's to if you're uncomfortable, And things are feel chaotic to just be there with just a lot of prayers until you gently get lifted out of it into a bigger illumination. Did anything I say make sense, Stephanie, Sweet Stephanie. Yes, I can understand the metaphor of the me tall, And also the steeliness that you're talking about inside. I can tell my voice actually is very raspy with the anger as well, But just as interesting. You feeling angry right now. Yeah, Yeah, You know I've been feeling angry the last hour. So, Like intense rage and hatred and just a whole bunch of stuff and now my voice is very, Yeah, It's definitely there it is. Yeah, So just be with it. Yeah, I know. Just be with it. Right. Right. One of the things that happens is like almost says that our wounding is just like this kind of red blister thing and if anybody goes near it, We get like, It's. So this stuff does come up so just be with it. It's like, You know, You ask for the highest resolution of it all. The highest clearing possible. And, You know, See your mantra. And you just wait. You just keep going till it dissipates. And as it dissipates, You move into. You will be more illuminated it's exactly what I was talking about when I said that Abraham. But with the aboriginal training shamanic training. The teacher would cover their faces with their own shit and they'd have to sit there stand there in the blazing sun till this till the shit dried and flaked off, And that's what happens. This deeper emotional material, Just gradually dissipates. Don't fight it. Don't don't celebrate it don't roll in it like celebration. Just be with it. Observe it observe just like your voice just exactly how you were with this with with me talking about the rage, And just being with it, And and just knowing that you're clearing a deep rage to your crucial energy. And we may get angry at other people as part of that but the bottom line is, This is our rage, About our truth that we're creating our own soul energy with, We learn to turn away from it and and and rage at it. Basically, This is how you guys. This is why it takes so long. The journey. And, And you won't really understand how the journey works until you have experiencing feeling these denser emotions. You see, When we're walling off these deeper emotions. We, We will never understand the spirituality, We will never understand the journey. We only understand as time goes on, Our, Our comprehension goes up as we experiencing experiencing this rage or hatred, And just be with it, Witness it and allow it to heal into a higher vibration. Now, This is what takes the guts, And this is why everybody isn't willing to walk the deeper journey. And, You know, If we've got jobs and everything we've got kids, We can speak to the universe and ask, Speak to the creator of the universe, And ask that it all done as easily and as gently as possible with as much support as possible so that you're taken care of. You get enough support to be able to walk this material. What's happening in our world is this level is getting live out, Because we're not dealing with it on the inside. That's why the horrors are going up. So that's where we are. It's kind of like the rock in the hard place. I mean, Who wants to feel this material. And at the same time, If we don't, It's just, It's just going to we're going to be, We're going to act it out. I know it's quite shocking about the truth of the journey. But, You know, It's glorious. It may be uncomfortable. This one is such a veteran of feeling all these uncomfortable emotions, And it's why I can understand you so well. It's why I can help you. This one can help you. Because I know it's nothing. It's just you're just clearing lifetimes. I mean, That's the whole point of this, Of this work, Of this thing we're here to awaken and clear. But really, You guys, You need to remember, We're just human. And, You know, We if we got a lot of demands, We just tell the universe that we'll just have to do it at a pace we can do it. Don't get ambitious spiritually just asked to do things at a pace that you can do it. Yeah, Great empathy, Stephanie. And, And, You know, My deep respect for your ability to just experience all this and keep and keep walking, You know, Keep going. Yeah, It'll be the making of you. Yeah, Look at everybody. Yeah, Really, To speak so to be able to witness it like this. This is this is what the journey is like to learn how to be a witness so that you can do this. This is what takes a practice. Yeah. If, If Stephanie's doing it, You're all doing it on a level, She's part of you. So just look at it like yeah okay. This is part of me is already doing it. Underneath are bad and good thing is, You know, Often rage and hatred. We try to be good, Or a good girl good boy. We try to do this spiritual good journey well good, But this is more like dealing with our true humanity and allowing the clearing you know the mud of the Lotus. Don't rush it you guys because you can feel really uncomfortable during these periods. The other side of rage is deep sorrow at our separation from the divinity. Remember, That's the root of the rage. So, The easiest way to evolve is to cry in yearning for God that will melt the rage and separation. That's the easiest way. You can also cry, You know, In deep sorrow at the separation that will also clear rage but just, You know, Don't give yourself a to do list, I mean just be with yourself on the journey and just sort of spelling this stuff out for. It's like seeding you for the future. You know, Seeding your future understanding. I mean, Part of the reason Stephanie can witness this is because she's, There's been a lot of seeding that's taken place with her. I mean, She's, It's all, But eating from this one to find a lot of generosity towards yourselves please a lot of self compassion please work. You know, Work. It's a culture where we've squished down the emotional so the thing about the journey is that it requires this emotional clearing and really we're pretty ill equipped for it even the women, Realistically, With our culture with our. It's compassion, Compassion and remember that, That the creator wins. I'm just taking care of you the creators taking care of you. And what's a bit of rage or hatred it won't kill you you know you feel it. It's not the end of the world it's like okay, Here's the stuff premise to do is talking about oh well. Give it over to help me with it, You know, Spiritual practice is really important every day you guys have some kind of spiritual practice help hold you during these periods it can be like a way to like call home. It gives you a structure, The world may be falling apart but you got your meditation time between the night. Talking to Emma. Really, It helps to talk to all the time. Hi. I want to thank you again for the work you're doing and for the support you're giving me and us, And we had this wonderful phone call, Two days ago and it's such a deep support and relief to me to, To hear your words and to have your help, Putting words to my inner states. And because I've had it in my head all the time but to really feel it and to acknowledge it and. Yeah, So, And since they started, I'm feeling the, The lovely tingles again, All in my body I just wanted to share this. Because, You know, I lost it somehow I was like, Oh, You know, In this today in the morning in a state of, I'm exhausted everything so heavy and, And I'm so rigid and I know it's integration or the states coming up to be released. But this is so helpful to be here and to feel it again. This is so, It's so, I can't express how grateful I am. Thank you. This really saves me. It really does. I feel it so deeply. Hi sweetie. Yeah. Thank you. That's you guys. Yeah, That's, You know, This is the rise of the feminine and it's been so taboo. Yeah, Right. And to have your to to always be reminded that all is okay. All is okay everything in me and everything about me is okay. And that's why you see that shift you're making is why you're moving into becoming a witness. So when I was talking with Anna, I saw somebody walking like you know in the rehab place where you're holding on to the rails you're learning how to walk on this journey you actually do learn how to walk in a new way and it's, It's, It's, It is almost up. It is a physical thing as well, Just as our body gets recalibrated right. But, So, You are learning how to witness but the key is you said that everything about you is okay in and everything about life is okay. And that's how you become a witness, You get to that point, And you start being able to witness, Then clearly yourself because you You're not trying to defend yourself or, Or make sure that you're bad or good or whatever, It's just, You are the innocent little child, Everything's okay, Inside and out, And I'll just go forward. And the key you guys, The, The screaming need for many of you is to actually learn how to be the witness. Really, Some of you are just caught in this, Where you're trying to witness out of your ego. And it's not solvable there and Anna was stuck there. And, You know, This work is so wild, In the sense of that, You know, I really shook Anna, And I yelled at her right, Right. You know, You're sincere enough that you, That you keep coming anyway. Do you see? Yeah. It's, It's, It's actually a triumph to to if you're holding on to a lot of resistance to. And even if you get the teacher so she's like yelling at you in exasperation that you come back that you do not disconnect. That is like badge of honor gold medal. That's all that's needed you guys were messes emotionally. This is the sad thing. It's like it is. We're so far from ourselves at this time in Kali Yuga we're, We're, We're so full of ego we're like at the most extreme sort of covered in dirt that the human race has been, And this is, This is our normal and we deserve medals for keeping going. But you know, If we don't keep going, It's like, That's no good so we do we keep going, But still a metal. Yeah. Yeah. Two months later I could be giving you a shake right. This is what this is what the journey's like it's like, I'll tell you. I know it well for mama. You're so beautiful. And I'm just wanting to pass on the support to you guys has on. And for me to pass on to you guys. Right, It takes time you guys and, You know, Compassion because things are so insecure and outside, You know, They're changing quickly. It's a, It's a tall order to be doing this. Because we're part of God, So we can't. God does it. The Amma inside us does it. I'm feeling there's greater willingness to deepen in, In, In several of you. It's like the pennies dropped for some of you in this clarity in this deeper willingness. It's very good. Remember the sequence that we worked through all those miracles with the computer, Right. And then we're, We're here now. And it's like the computer was like a metaphor for the ego really. And it was like a breakthrough their breakthrough around the collective, And our egos to this deeper understanding. Have you got anything. Coming up, Sweetie. I was thinking about my two things I hide a lot of what you said there, Like about hiding. And yeah, I felt it in the heart. I was like, Oh, Me. And I know I've been thinking like oh that shows up a lot in my life. And then I was thinking about my womb, About how I was, I don't know if I mentioned I'm having some trouble there, Quite happened during COVID time and like hemorrhaging and all so I'm, And it's medicine that's kind of keeping me stable. Lately, Which hasn't for quite some time now, And I'm just thinking like fear like there's so much fear, Like I'm feeling that fear and this hate, Like, And I know it's my feminine, Like my own is like it feels deep. Hi, Sweetie pie, You want you to put your arms around yourself. Just, Yeah, Just sweetie you just need huge compassion. Just huge. It's not solvable in your head at all. You're trying to. If you're catching the journey in your head. And there's, It's running. What happens is then you get stuck in your miserable sinner doing it wrong and. Right. Right. Everybody's everybody knows what this feels like sweetie we all know it in ourselves. Please just just receive compassion from the group from from from this one. Yeah. Right. Right. That self compassion saved me that experience of just self compassion when I finally shifted into it. Right, You deserve it sweetie. It's, It's where solves everything it's where everything's solvable. It's when we allow the Creator to love us, We allow our souls to love and forgive us. Allow our souls to to heal us. Most of us are in these egos that are on red alert and they're trying to fix. Red alert red alert. Busy busy busy busy busy busy busy. Oh, I see this hatred in me I see this, This I hide. I'm so terrible. Sweetie, This is what we're like, It's not. This is why Anna thanked me publicly, Because I interrupted this in her. Right. Right. Right. I feel like it would help you to, Like, Get a little more interested in the Creator you know get more interested in. In unconditional love. Get more interested in. Feeling grace grace what is grace, What is that, What is the Creator where is it, You know, Earning, Earning your attention to the Creator you know. If you keep a focus on self compassion, That might. I'm wondering that might feel easiest for you I don't know how to reach you. Morning to you see, You feel a bit like a leaf flowing in the wind with all your emotional states and. Yeah, That's really actually I've even said that. Right. So it's to come down back to yourself come down to the ground come back to accepting your humanity, Accepting coming down. That's, We get like a leaf in the wind when we're in our heads, And we're, We're, We're not. We haven't got an opening to our soul that we can work with. That's what you need kind of an opening to your soul that you can work with. Yeah, And I, And I feel like, You know, I know that the steady practice is hard for you but I kind of feel like the discipline of having, You know, Half an hour a day, Whatever, Just doing some discipline to help that it's bringing in a bit of the male energy it's bringing in a bit of the steadiness of the male of the inner male to help us do that. So how do you feel now be really honest with me about what I'm saying. I feel my trying to take over, Because I feel like. Okay, So I feel like tingles in the chest and shoulders, A bit, And I was feeling as you were talking, Feeling like grief in my throat. And almost like in a different space than usual, Like a little higher to the right. Okay. And there's a, Like, Yeah. Yeah, I feel a lot of there's something happening in my chest, Like almost like a whirlwind or some kind of like, Yeah, That kind of feeling, And there's a bit at the base of the spine. I feel kind of like this. Good. Okay, So, This is all really good. But there's a, I want to go back to when we started working, You know, Corinne worked with me very steadily for when she just began, And we worked very closely about like what is it five years ago for a period. Okay. Now, In there, What I felt you did was you took the structure of what I was teaching the transcendent body approach. And you took that. And have kept that mind and you took it as you took that to heart. Instead of what you didn't take to heart was just your was Corinne. Yeah. This is still still trouble is still having trouble taking Corinne to heart. Okay, Now, This is not a fault. It's okay. It's what we're like, I just shining a light. So you can implement the transcendent body approach. But you can do it in a way that it's an avoidance of taking yourself to heart. It's like going with a structure again. Okay, This is a structure, The structure is okay. I'm not okay. The structure is okay. This is that. Yes. That's the heart of it. Yeah. Right. So, That's your work. That's your work. That's for you to like really work and struggle with this, And I will support you struggling with me support you struggling struggling, I will support you coming out of this. Okay. Okay, So you guys, This is the thing. I can give you very clear surgical level of information about yourself, And you're evolving, But then it's up to you to like chew on it. You know, Work with it, Take it to heart work with it, Because I can't do that for you. And Corinne it's not you particularly at all. This is no worries it's not aimed at you particular, It's just for the global understanding for all of you of how this work works. So Corinne you could you can write a letter to the universe saying within a year as gently and easily as possible you really want to be taking Corinne to heart in a, In a really beautiful way. See you could do that then that sets in motion. It's like okay you're signing up for the higher curriculum. You see. Yeah. Did you check with me like, But, But really take it to heart. And, And if, If you have trouble taking it to heart you know witness that and and give it to be compassionate, Don't self compassion don't don't try to boss yourself around about it just do your best. What have you done with that okay I really want you to be very honest about what you just did with what I said. Okay. I felt something right before you asked I felt like in my chest a bit of like let go. It didn't feel it wasn't a good feeling like kind of like. Yeah, Exactly what I felt was, Oh, I'm not going to do it right. Yeah, Or something. Yeah. Okay, All this stuff just embrace just sweetie you don't have anywhere to go you might as well just keep embracing we have to start where we are you guys. But be with where we are, This is the. This is we all want to avoid this but you just be where you are, And you start working with that. That's this one's example you know when I say like I was, I was it started off in this incredible mess, I just kept working with myself, You know, Talking to God just working with my next step just take yourself to heart with all of it, All of your tricks, All of your resistances, All of it just your your project for this lifetime just put your arms around yourself as you are. Yeah. Yeah, I, You know, I'm very grateful I feel a willingness, A bigger willingness with this group with with you. But forgetting this just as you are and that's what allows us to love other people as they are. Yeah. That's very beautiful. Yeah. Remember this is a dream. When when you love yourself enough you get to the. Oh, This is just a dream, Everything's really okay. It's kind of hilarious it's a it's a comedy. Circle round and hate and and bridge. You know, If you're feeling that and really understand that that's that's moving through you and give it over I mean be with it, But don't hold on to it like this is like sewage clearing sewage. So you be with it. Witness and allow insights to come. Allow it to clear. Yeah. Let yourself go higher. The really key thing is like the purity of heart matters so, You know, Rage sometimes can give us like anger can give us, We might feel powerful with anger, But it doesn't help us or the other person. I mean, Anger is used as a power really in it. That's, That's no good. No, It almost says it's like a sword that cuts you and the other person. You know for circulating and hate. I mean, Just, Just be like, Just keep reminding yourself you're a divine being you know this is clearing. But it's kind of a, You have to figure it out yourself for, Like, Learning how to be with something till it clears like this stuff flakes off. But I'm really speaking to some people hold on to this stuff. And that's no good. So you just have to allow it to flake off like Abraham, And his cohorts standing in the Hawaiian sun is the shit flaked off you just grow it. Yeah. Remember for the journey, The key is the first step of the deeper journey is becoming a witness and many of you aren't there yet, And it's okay that you're not but if you realize that you're not and then get interested in, In learning how because that will be your ticket to freedom. At this time remember things can be learned very quickly. If we're willing, We have to be willing to see. You know the thing from a pseudo found is that in my in this one's life that when I wasn't willing, I would get a whack from the universe and from mama and then I come willing, You know, It's like okay. This isn't gonna work to sit and be unwilling, You know, Like okay. I get a whack and then I'm like, Okay. It's the humor of it all you know. But I'll tell you getting wax isn't easy, And it's kind of embarrassing. But many of you judge yourselves rather than witness. Okay. And, You know, With some, Some of us moving real into witnessing it can spread. And you'll start seeing it during the sad sayings and the question answer you stop you'll start seeing it, And you'll start seeing how it's done, And you'll go like me to me to I want this me to. This is what we're like. That's the only safe desire to have, You know, The desire for more truth to get closer to God that's the only safe desire to have all the others will distort our experience. It's time for one more. If it doesn't feel right then that's okay too. Alex I don't know if you have any time, Because you often have to go after an hour. I'm here. Yeah, My phone was frozen. Okay, Good. Well, I'm glad that we're speaking. How are you. Yeah, Just wondering how you are. Haven't heard from you lately. Yeah, It's funny this whole sat saying, I've had this, Like, This urge to say something but didn't know what I wanted to say, But felt like I need to talk but I don't know what. But I feel like it's been a really interesting last couple months for me. I'm kind of oscillating back and forth, Feeling like I'm spinning my tires a little. Yeah, But but then it's like I'm just in this period that it feels uncomfortable but it feels necessary to maybe I want to learn how to witness more. Yeah. Okay. You know, Dear one, You are spinning your wheels. And what you said, Well, Oh, Then it's something I have to go through and everything was actually your ego coming in and making a nice box so you didn't have to actually face it. Yeah. Yeah, The witnessing is. It's going to get increasingly important to learn. Yeah. You guys, I'll tell you the journey, If we avoid the deepening if we avoid a deepening, We can spend time with the teacher and totally misunderstand what the teacher is saying. And, And we can think we understand it, And we don't. Yeah. It's like we're sewing up the heart of it. We're, We're, We're, We're not letting our hearts get really touched at the level that our hearts need to get touched out in order to awaken. Right. Okay. So, Alex, It's like you can really understand love of your family. But it's this bigger love that is. It's like where there's a call for you to understand this bigger love. And part of you, You know, Is going. It says danger danger. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Right. So it's like for you to understand that I'm shining a light on things inside Alex. And that you, You could see these if you want. Do you know what I mean you could understand what I'm talking about if you want. And it's not to fix it. It's not to try to correct it is just to see it. Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah. And you've got three little kids, Sweetie, Like, You know, No, No rush. No rush. No rush. I'm, I'm a little concerned with the level of delusion, Really, With the level of misunderstanding of what I'm talking about. Alex, Sweetie. Yeah. And it's around that you can love your family, But for it to go out really is something else and it just depends like whether this, You know, Whether this whether this training suits you or not, And whether you really wanted or not, And it's okay we all come to these kind of questions. It's like really this happened with Anna right Anna several times with us like it's not a mistake, Please get this it's not like that you're bad or it's a mistake. This is what we're like. Yeah, But really the under there's not the there's not nearly as much understanding of what I'm talking about, As you think you have. And you can go through this gate into a much bigger understanding. It's not you're not a bad girl or anything. This is, You know, I remember talking to a psychiatrist and he had a psychiatric student he had a student learning to be a psychiatrist, And the guy had failed his practicum. So he'd done all these like how many years right. Failing your psychiatry practicum, And the, The psychiatrist I was talking to said, It depends how big a man he is whether he'll continue or not. So he had absolutely no judgment over this guy failing this. But he, It was like up to the guy whether he really rose and then maybe became a really unusual psychiatrist, It's the rising to it even when it feels humiliating and hard on our egos. Yeah. Yeah, So sweet when this and I'm not going to ask you to speak because really it was so hard to hear what you were saying it was so deeply underwater. There's, There's not much point you can always contact me if you, If you, If you feel like it, You know, I'm always open to you. Yeah. Yeah. And sweetie pie, There's so much love coming to you right now. There's so much love. Yeah, You guys do we haven't we so many of you have had me like give you shakes and go, You're deluded. Like, So it's all good. Yeah, Like lots and lots of love coming to you. Yeah. Okay. Okay, Blessings. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. This is it. This is, You know, Just the keeping going sometimes but you know then it's so glorious you go. Oh, It's so worth it. Oh, I'm just going to step up for the next for the next step. You know, Initiation. And remember, It takes years remember, You know, Almost said to me, Like, Working with people don't expect. Don't expect much too quickly. Just don't expect much this. Let them be where they are like don't the journey takes decades you guys most times. It takes decades. You're talking to someone who has stood in the soup for a very long time. Please cut yourselves slack. And understand it's a lifetime gig. Just another career step to make and have that boxed up and it's a lifetime gig.