Feelings Of Hopelessness And Helplessness Are Just Ego.

With her signature humor and ability to put words to vague perceptions and feelings, together with her healing touch, Premasudha's work is life-changing. She has a truly great knack for assisting people out of the emotional prison of their ego/intellect into true freedom. This means that sometimes even serious diseases disappear too, as part of the emotional shift into a new more love-based understanding.

Transcript

The native Hawaiian kahuna I studied with had some very earthy stories to illustrate the process of evolution and I want to tell you one.

Basically this story talks about how we transcend or get by our emotional difficulties or our trauma.

So the story was this and it was actually part of his training.

So he and several other shamanic students were told to stand in the heat and they stood for hours and hours and finally you know having a human body the time came when they really needed to defecate.

So they were encouraged to stand there and defecate and then the teacher came by and took the faeces of each individual and put it on that individual's face,

Smeared the faeces onto the individual's face and then they had to keep standing there again just hours and hours and it being Hawaii and being very hot one of the things that happened was the faeces started flaking off and indeed it finally all flaked off and that's how we get through our trauma.

What happens is in our lives we walk into experiences and our emotional complexes and our the things that we're carrying from our upbringing we see up close and personal and we're maybe revolted by it.

It's like it's the worst thing it's everything we want to run from we don't want to face it we don't want to deal with it and that's what many people do but you know if you run into like you know addictions I mean you just get brought back to the emotional crap.

You can't get away from your own emotional crap so the question is whether you spend your life circling around in it or whether you steer towards transcendence to getting past it.

So you know just embracing my son one of the things he his expression is you know embrace the suck meaning just if you're in a bad time and you don't like yourself and maybe you feel full of fear and hatred and rage just embrace it don't fight it embrace it that is your state right now and you can do everything you can to comfort yourself to help yourself and I would say steer towards God you know steer towards all that is give it over to the higher intelligence behind your life and behind your this earth and give it over and just be patient and gradually gradually what will happen is you will grow out of it you grow beyond it it becomes less painful less smelly less distressing and what happens is you get a big piece of wisdom and self-understanding from having gone through this and that's worth it.

Reviews

Such a powerful metaphor and it rang true with my own experience as well. I see a few reviews here that say it isn't for them, and I'd like to help with that by sharing my own experience, just in case it might help someone:

I grew up in my maternal grandparents' home. They were not very emotionally mature people, they had a very unhealthy relationship based on control and misogyny, my grandmother had Stockholm Syndrome and took a ton of abuse which then she forced onto her kids and grandkids, and everyone was at the mercy of my authoritarian grandfather. Additionally, there was conditional love and favoritism and worth based on whether or not you were "conceived/born out of wedlock". I was conceived out of wedlock, and my grandfather treated me as a lesser being because of it, on top of the fact that "female = lesser being" in his mind.
I grew up desperate for his love, but only really got his dissapproval. It carried over into my adult years and for a very long time, I was so angry at him. Angry at both my grandparents for traumatizing us all so severely and having no idea what they had done.
I did not want to accept it. I did mental math over and over and over for years trying to understand "why why why". As if my brain could make sense of a senseless situation and then I'd suddenly be okay.
I had breakdown after breakdown, sobbing and screaming into the void, which honesly felt GOOD. But I was also holding on to a narrative that gave me an ego gratification each time I "took laps" around the traumatic storyline of my life.
"They're MEAN and STUPID and HOW DARE THEY" - so on and so forth.
And you know, sometimes you have to do that, but if your EARNEST INTENTION is to heal from it, then one day, you'll wake up and realize that you've trapped yourself in an endless loop, and it won't feel great anymore. It doesn't mean you're suddenly okay with happened to you - its more like, you realize you've gone up to the buffet 100000000000 times and gotten the same food each time and what was delicious before now tastes like crap and you don't want it anymore.
The more I listened to meditations like this, the more the message sunk in that what I experienced at the hands of my abusive grandparents made me MORE loving, made me MORE capable of giving and receiving love, made me MORE aware of what cruelty and suffering in the human race was, and how I could be a generator of love to the whole world.
We in the west have an Instant Gratification mindset. We want healing NOW, not later. We want proof NOW, not later. If it doesn't work NOW, then it "must be BS" - according to the instant gratification mindset. Healing takes time. But it will take MUCH LESS TIME if you get out of your own way [read: stop creating a narrative to get lost in] - just let yourself cry, let yourself sob until you shake, let yourself process everything that's been repressed inside of you.
There was a time where I didn't want to hear anyone talking about my grandfather in a positive way. My cousins + sister remember the sounds of my grandmother's bracelets jangling around on her wrists being a pleasant sound that reminded them of her sweetness, but I remember those sounds as the sounds of her arms getting into position to strike me and beat me and hurt me.
I didn't want to remember my grandparents as ANYTHING but unredeemable monsters.
But I had trapped myself in that narrative, which meant I was gonna be stuck there for a long time.
But an earnest intention to heal is POWERFUL and was always watching out for me, despite my trauma brain's need to "play the tape" every day.
My earnest intention to heal nudged me constantly in the direction of healing, not stuckness. And one day, just like the buffet food started to taste nasty, the tape started to make no sense to keep watching.
I was recently informed about a study that was done about wild dogs living in/around the Chernobyl meltdown site. They studied their DNA and found that they have radiation-resistant cells now, thanks to their exposure.
That's US, y'all! What we were exposed to made us more resilient than we know! And that's gonna get us through so much crap, it's gonna make us better at being kind to the world and everyone in it!
It's all gonna be okay.
Feel what you need to feel, process what needs to come up, I promise you aren't alone - I am thinking of you, I am sending you love, I believe in you, and you're way more powerful than you realize!
Okay, thank you for letting me write a wall of text.
Let the fecal matter flake off your faces, fam ❤️

Now I’m learning ! I appreciate you sharing your personal experience . TY 🙏🏼 I had a laugh too!

I had never listened to you before, but last night, in my struggles of pounding self-doubt and the hectoring voice of self immolation, I saw your face. And then this morning, there your face was, waiting for me on Insight Timer. I have struggled for so long to emerge from decades of trauma and sadness, always trying so hard to grow and embrace the pain as fertile soil. I am forever missing the the core it seems. I am grateful for your presence in the world. Thank you for visiting me in the middle of the night. Blessings

Thank you so much for sharing. I truly appreciate your authenticity, humor and storytelling. You just seem like a real person, absent of the whimsical voice and mystery inflections and music. I enjoyed the realness. Thank you again!

This 4 minute talk was striking, direct - extremely helpful- THANK YOU 🙏🏻

Thank you. I just realized that I have been avoiding the feeling of helplessnesss...so I can embrace it now. 💝🙏

Magnificent! 🙏🏾❤️❤️🙏❤️🙏🏼

❤️❤️❤️