Do We Dare Drop Our Denials And Really See?

Today's Satsang covered so much in Premasudha's light, grounded way.

The West's focus on concrete reality and denial of the existence of the Creator has created a loveless, alienated and unhappy society. Some spiritual stories Premasudha described, sound impossible to the Western mind, but perfectly normal in the context of the Eastern spiritual traditions.

The East knows we are divine beings in human form and have many capacities that can be developed. We Westerners would do well to open our minds and hearts and find a way back to our hearts.

Tricks of the ego were discussed together the importance of learning to witness our thoughts and actions. A dear satsang member bravely expressed the heaviness of generational trauma and Premasudha reminded her to let in her Soul energy and heal. But she was already praying for forgiveness during her day so it was all good.

A wonderful satsang!

Transcript

So I'm going to begin with asking for the Creator's grace again for all of us.

Bama's grace.

It's here in the air that we breathe.

There's no ceiling on the grace we can receive.

So the only ceiling at all is just our distrust and disbelief,

And we will keep getting that reflected.

That's why Prama Sutta talks so much about,

You know,

Serving love and taking a step beyond your known reality by offering love to yourself and others.

You know,

We're all raised in,

Our culture is alienated.

That's what we,

That's what we know best.

So when we move into allowing the love in,

The ego always fusses.

And some of you who are a little more,

You know,

Distressful,

Who maybe haven't had a lot of spiritual lives,

Don't get fooled.

And that's part of what I'm,

I think I'm talking about yesterday.

I even put a video up just about how mechanical the spiritual process is.

We have an opening,

And then we will have a contraction.

The ego will fuss,

And it will seem that we've lost all our gains,

And that it's all meaningless.

But we just keep talking to Amma,

Keep talking to the Creator,

And a new baseline with more love comes in.

Over and over again,

This is what Prama Sutta has done.

And the more skilled we,

The more practice we get,

The more,

The less we believe the storylines.

In fact,

It becomes,

It just becomes humorous,

Really.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I remember in one period of great fear,

I jumped out of a taxi,

Because I was sure the guy was going to murder me.

It seemed really real to me.

Poor guy.

You see,

It's,

You know,

Doing foolish things like this that showed me how deluded I was by fear.

Yeah.

So,

Another thing I wanted to talk about was something I've said recently,

That we're utterly scared of our own anger.

We project the anger we're carrying out into the world,

And then we feel victim of angry people,

Or unloving institutions,

Or whatever it is.

So,

I just want to point out,

I want to tell you a story,

And it's,

It's,

This kind of story gets played out in the media quite frequently.

This story is not attached to any current drama,

But it has been played out.

So,

You know,

You can have a powerful couple.

Now,

The dynamic between them is,

The guy doesn't listen to the woman's feelings,

So she's mad at him.

She doesn't address this,

And this is just a part of,

It's a continuation of her anger that came from her childhood,

Where she felt people didn't take care of her feelings.

She didn't matter.

Okay,

But this couple,

They're very rich and powerful.

So,

Somebody in her business world does something that she doesn't like,

And she sues him for huge amounts of money.

I mean,

The couple are really,

Really rich,

But she does,

And she makes very public displays of this.

So,

Then what happens is,

Somebody,

The person she's suing,

Sues her back.

Somebody who felt that she bad-mouthed him in the collateral damage,

Even though she's focused on this,

This,

This other person and his business,

Somebody else got upset with her because he felt that he got bad-mouthed in the collateral damage,

So he's suing her.

The media's involved,

And the whole thing is getting violently out of control,

And it's,

And I'm sure that a person like this would feel very hostage,

Would feel like a total victim,

Would feel that the world's against them,

And not realize maybe what she did was the angry actions she took.

Now,

What she did was she refused to feel,

To acknowledge her feelings or get interested in the anger that she was feeling to her husband,

And beyond that,

She didn't get interested in the anger left over from her childhood.

You see,

It's like if we don't deal with this stuff,

We manifest it,

And we become hostage to it,

And this is why when I was saying in the,

Yeah,

I think it was yesterday,

That our egos are full of false promises that never come through.

I mean,

This couple,

You know,

They should be deliriously happy,

A couple like that,

A wealthy couple.

Look,

Look what's going on.

It's like a Greek tragedy.

In fact,

This is where Greek tragedies came from.

They are like life.

That's what they are.

It's just like life.

This is what happens.

If you watch long enough,

Over several decades,

It basically turns into a Greek tragedy,

Unless you wake up.

Yeah,

This is the great thing about having white hairs,

Because you see this,

And it's so interesting that we,

You know,

We don't really value our old people,

Which is just,

Then we're just doomed to walk around in chaos,

But oh well,

You know.

Yeah,

So you guys,

When we manifest stuff out of our anger,

Then I don't want you to realize this,

And we get scared of it.

Any anxiety,

Really,

Is you're anxious,

Really,

About your own anger.

You're scared by your own machinations of your own ego,

Which is just,

Yeah.

Yeah,

You guys,

It's so,

It's so sad,

And it's so humorous at the same time.

So,

If you can realize that it really pays off to become highly aware of your feelings,

Of your emotions,

And get free of the storyline,

And let them heal.

So,

I would walk around,

And I would feel anger up,

And I would just get a,

You know,

I mean,

I knew that it wasn't,

It felt really true,

But I knew it was just ego.

So,

I kept focusing on the silence.

That's what I did a lot,

When I realized,

I focused on the silence,

Just because I didn't have a teacher.

So,

I just focused on the creator inside,

And what happened is the anger or the hate would get smaller.

I would stop shaking with it.

You know,

I'd stop getting shaken by my own emotions,

And when you clear anger,

It turns into higher awareness,

And this is how spiritual masters,

They've cleared all this stuff,

And what happens is where the ego was,

Now there's just the creator.

Yeah.

If you think about this,

You know,

And if you're reading the news,

Or you're on social media,

You can see it.

Yeah.

You can see the stuff going on.

When you don't have any anger left,

You know,

Nobody really gets angry with you.

You know,

If we're carrying a lot of anger,

And we're not expressing it,

People get angry with us all the time.

That's what happened to my mom.

Everybody got angry at my mom.

She never expressed anger,

But she was carrying it.

It's just to get interested in it,

So that you can take your power,

And you take your power by realizing that the ego talk isn't accurate,

And that the emotions you feel with this,

Like,

Hate,

Anger,

Fear,

It's just ego.

Feels real.

We can make it true,

Just like a woman who decides to sue people out of anger can make a nightmare come true.

Any of us can make a nightmare come true.

Yeah,

This is how powerful we are,

You see.

We're gods.

So,

If we're staying asleep,

We will tend to make nightmares true,

And if we wake up,

We make heaven come true.

And this is what everybody's a bit dozy to get,

Because,

You know,

The patterns of our many lives are we not to take responsibility.

We watched our parents not take responsibility.

There's so few people in this world who are taking responsibility for their lives,

And if you're doing any negative,

Self-critical negative,

That's ego.

It's always ego.

You know,

Say,

As you learn to witness,

You might watch yourself make a mistake.

You might watch yourself make the same mistake that you've made countless times,

But now you're aware of it,

And being aware of it means that it's moving to that you won't make the same mistake again,

Because once you're aware,

You just can't do it.

It's not that you have to manage yourself or fix yourself.

It's like you just can't do it again,

Because you know it's not a great outcome.

You see,

Self-knowledge.

Self-knowledge is key.

The devotion to,

You know,

To the Creator,

To Amma,

But if we don't have self-knowledge about ourselves,

We just walk around in blindfolds making the same mistakes over and over,

And praying about it.

Well,

You have to get interested.

Why am I like this?

Who am I really?

It's okay.

There's no,

Don't want you to force yourselves at all.

It will be very organic when it comes.

It will just be your next step.

All of you guys get in your own ways by trying to manage yourselves and do your journey,

So please just have patience,

But by hearing this from Prama Sutta,

It will help.

It will help the penny to drop over time.

You see,

You guys,

It depends how many spiritual lives we've had,

Like solid spiritual lives where we made real spiritual progress.

That determines how quickly we learn.

You see,

It's not our fault.

You know,

The Michael material,

Which I'm very fond of,

He talks a lot about that we can accelerate through the levels,

And that's my experience.

And the other thing to talk about is that an old soul,

So someone named Grandmother,

Grandfather Energy,

Who's maybe at level two,

And there's maybe seven levels.

Once you hit old soul level,

You can decide that you want to complete your lifetime,

So you just sort of step off the usual progression,

And you start completing your lifetimes.

And it often,

Not always,

But average,

According to this material,

It takes three lifetimes.

But with Amma here,

I know it can take us a lot less,

Because I heard her say that she can pick up up to 80% of our karma,

Which is just unheard of.

See,

Our karma has to go somewhere.

It's earth plane.

So if we're,

I mean,

Either we get it,

Or we give it over to a spiritual giant like Amma,

Who she says,

I've heard her say,

That she could deal with something in a few minutes.

It might take somebody years and years and years.

Yeah,

I mean,

This is how blessed we are.

And even if you're not in her arms,

You know,

If you're receiving her energy,

That's enough.

It's so magic,

Really,

When they look back at our time.

You know,

I'll tell you what I hope they don't say.

I hope they don't say,

Well,

These people held on to a very low-level,

Concrete reality,

Very body-based reality,

So hard that it became,

They thought it was saner to just blow themselves up than to dare to love.

Yes,

You guys,

That is it.

And you see,

So when we're in this,

And people come forward to me with their distrust,

I go,

Okay,

You're just holding on to this insanity that we're living in.

Yeah.

And you know,

It may all change.

Well,

It could,

It could,

It could just change almost overnight.

There's,

There's that,

Remember I talked about the satiography,

That Gandhi trained the Indians to approach the getting control of India back through nonviolence,

And they would be beaten and shot by the Brits,

And finally the Brits got so,

And they didn't respond,

So finally the Brits got so grossed out with their own brutality,

They lost the will.

Okay,

You guys,

This is the secret to evolution emotionally.

The same thing happens inside ourselves.

It's like,

If you go forward with,

Okay,

I want to,

You know,

Move into truth,

And anger comes up,

Or hate,

You become like an inner satiography,

And you don't participate.

You don't participate in the oppression of your own soul,

Just like outwardly,

The satiographies would not participate in their oppression of their country.

It's doing it inside,

Emotionally,

So you do not participate in these negative thoughts.

You see them,

You see the anger,

But just seeing it,

Going,

Okay,

This is this,

This is ego stuff,

I don't have to go along with it.

Prama Sutta has said that it pushes the kundalini down when I go along with these negative thoughts,

And I'm wanting my kundalini to go up.

Now,

It could even take you a year to be able to do this.

You see,

Maybe you could do it really quickly,

But it might take you a year to get that kind of dispassion to be able to see it and take an action.

Yeah.

And so many of you put stuff on your shoulders and try to do it,

And that never,

Never works,

So don't do it.

There's a very dear one.

I'm going to embarrass her,

But she had a dream,

And in the dream,

Two beautiful skirt figures were telling her that she needed to,

I think it was wake up,

And listen,

And listen.

Okay,

And she emailed me and says,

What did,

What did my dream mean?

I mean,

I'm not kidding.

This is what it's like,

You guys.

I'm like,

Yeah,

But it's like,

When it's us,

This help,

This is how blinded by denial we can get,

But we can see it with somebody else.

And,

You know,

Self-compassion,

Because many of us are running,

Okay,

If I really wake up,

I won't have any money,

Or I'll be alone and exiled,

But,

You know,

I'm,

I can't indulge that stuff.

But just hearing this,

You guys,

If it sort of jars you open just a little,

That's,

That is fantastic.

And,

You know,

When we see how blind we are,

We get more compassionate with others,

And we go,

Like,

Oh,

Yeah,

I mean,

This is why I'm like,

With all of this stuff you did,

I'm going like,

Well,

This is what Pramasutra did,

Too.

Yeah.

But an individual could make such a change.

There's this,

You know,

I mentioned this king in ancient India,

His name was Ashoka,

And he lived in 300 BC,

When he was a Mauryan empire emperor,

And he'd been really involved in wars,

And he was quite an aggressive guy,

And he just had this come to Buddha moment,

And he became a Buddhist,

And he he wove the non-violence into the culture,

So even the rules were non-violent.

You see,

Everything was incredibly just fair,

And careful about people,

Non-exploitive.

And he,

It lasted the whole time that he ruled,

Chose the power of one person,

And this is,

You know,

2,

000 years ago,

So what more could we do now?

And that would have been Kali Yuga,

And he still did it.

You see,

You can actually live in,

You can,

I used to feel this with me,

That through my evolution,

I was moving into another yuga,

Like that I was living in the truth yuga.

You do,

You sort of,

You don't get,

Yeah,

I don't know how to say it,

It's like you just move into this,

Things work differently for you,

Because you've done this inner work,

And you've cleared the emotional baggage,

And you,

So you just live in grace.

And it is possible to do this.

I have another story to tell you.

Now,

I'm sure I'm going to lose some of you on this,

But,

You know,

As I say,

I read fairy tales till I was 12,

Obsessively.

So,

I always had kind of an open mind,

You know,

When people say things,

So like,

When the doctors say,

Okay,

You're,

You know,

Your son's going to die of leukemia,

I'm like,

Well,

Maybe,

You know,

Really?

And that,

I just had this kind of wide open view.

And sometimes it got me into trouble where I would be,

Get fooled.

But sometimes it,

It helped me see possibilities where others couldn't.

Okay,

So,

You guys,

So I've just been reading about this Himalayan yogi who achieved enlightenment at 90.

At 90.

And,

You know,

The guy is drawing his own information from some books written at the time,

From four books.

So,

He's not,

He's not just making this up.

Anyway,

They would,

They would go into,

And his teacher was 150.

But there's another story about,

A well-documented one,

About an Arabian princess who left her,

Crawled out of her palace,

And walked through the mountains on her own.

And was even buried alive by a group of horrible guys and found her way out of that.

She,

She would,

She spent a lot of time in the mountains and,

And studied with people.

And she finally achieved enlightenment at 65.

And she sat under a tree somewhere.

It's a book called Women of Power and Grace.

It is so worth getting.

I can't remember who the writer is,

But Alma is mentioned in this.

There's sort of like 10 spiritual giants.

And this Arab woman was one.

And she lived to be 140.

What she did is she sat under a tree,

And all around her,

People would come,

And all around her,

Everything went up.

So,

It was pretty squalor when she first sat there.

And as she just sat there over the years,

It got more and more,

Became more and more beautiful.

People spent money.

I mean,

This stuff,

I don't know why we think,

Westerners,

That we know everything.

You see,

Like,

The Indians have these traditions for thousands of years.

They have a completely different view of reality.

So,

I'm not surprised that different things happen for them,

Do you see?

So,

This guy who achieved enlightenment at 90,

I mean,

It's so off the wall,

But when you read the book,

There's so much power in the book.

And he kept teaching till he was about 150.

So,

I'm like,

There's hope.

There's hope.

And just reading it was so expansive.

And they did a lot of,

He did a lot of yoga techniques.

So,

They would make the snow melt,

You see,

Through body heat.

They lived in the Himalayas.

I mean,

And they managed to go without food a lot.

And this is how he achieved enlightenment,

A very difficult way,

I think.

I mean,

I'd rather do it through hugs with Amma,

Right?

I mean,

But this is the,

You know,

It's a very kind of male approach,

You know,

Action,

Action,

Taking action,

Total control over his body.

Yeah.

And,

But he developed the heart too.

So,

He didn't just,

He wasn't just one of those guys who could do the siddhis.

He did a lot of good.

Anyway,

At some point,

I'll give you the book.

It's a thrill to do the book.

Just reading it can open your mind,

You know.

And there's this energy in it,

Which is always my,

How I determine if something's okay or not.

If I feel that energy,

Then I get a go ahead about it,

Even though it just sounds so weird.

But,

Oh,

Well,

Probably,

Yeah.

But if you think of ours,

Our normal is where we're on the verge of nuking ourselves.

You see,

This is how we have to be able to see how distorted our view is.

And then we can open up to,

Well,

Maybe there's something more than just what we see,

Just our Western point of view.

And the other thing is,

You know,

In the,

My university days with Psychology 101,

They knew,

Like,

They did studies with monkeys.

And if monkeys weren't nurtured properly by their moms,

They got,

They held on to their blankets and bottles obsessively and they didn't bond with anybody else.

And they had these lonely lives holding onto these few possessions.

Okay,

What have we got,

You guys?

This is what we're getting.

Non-bonded people,

Hoarders,

People holding onto things as the most important thing.

And it's,

You know,

We're,

We're we've got a whole bunch of people who are unbonded to their moms and unbonded to their hearts.

Yeah.

And all the women were so silent about it.

It's like,

We just stand there and let our hearts get broken,

Cut up.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I don't know what it's like,

But in,

You know,

North America,

If you're a really successful woman,

I mean,

You're,

If you don't go back to work,

Like,

Within,

Like,

Two or three weeks,

You get under a lot of pressure.

Anyway,

We're just doing what we're doing.

We're learning,

We're experimenting,

We're finding out what's true.

The evolutionary journey is like the tortoise or the,

You know,

It's how it's pictured in the East.

The tortoise is slow.

It's slow.

So we can live it out horizontally,

Or you can start ascending.

And when you start ascending,

Then what happens is you'll have a more uncomfortable time.

You know,

You'll get,

Yeah,

It'll be more uncomfortable because you'll see your own angers and criticism,

Judgments,

But you can let them go.

I mean,

That's what this journey is.

You can learn how to evolve out of them.

Yeah.

You know,

When I was growing up,

I mean,

I don't know if every family's like this,

But,

You know,

Like I said,

My mom,

She never recovered from being beaten.

So she just kind of hated people.

Like she hated the extended family,

You know,

She criticized them a lot.

Maybe this is what people do.

I don't know.

But,

You know,

When I look back,

I mean,

By the time I was playing with my cousins,

You know,

I had heard so much criticism from my mom about them and about their families and everything.

I don't know how we,

You know,

We didn't bond particularly well.

We didn't get on particularly well.

And I'm not surprised when I look at it.

It's kind of,

Of course not.

Yeah.

Okay.

That's a lot of what I wanted to say.

Is there any questions or comments,

You guys?

I know.

Oh,

Good.

Who's that?

It's Miriam.

Oh,

Miriam.

Yeah.

It's very nice to see you.

Nice to be here.

And I do listen back to the satsangs and the question,

Well,

Mainly the satsangs,

Really.

And it was just something that you just said about facing our anger.

And for this,

Well,

I'm not going to go to a whole background story,

But I've not been well,

But I realize,

Or I feel like,

No,

I realize underneath my anger and my fear is pain and sorrow.

And I feel,

And I think it's what you just said is that I see,

You know,

When I'm,

When something makes me angry,

It's triggering something inside of me that's to do with my past and it's pain and sorrow.

And that pain and sorrow is not to do necessarily.

Some of it is this life,

But some of it isn't.

And it's like,

It's like,

How do I heal this?

How does this heal?

You know,

Because it's not just about my family of origin today.

It's,

It is the karmic stuff as well.

And I think what I'm just trying to do,

Only today,

Last night,

Just to try and find forgiveness.

Yeah,

I think that's the main thing for me is that I've realized how much pain and sorrow and sadness is there.

Deep,

Deep,

You know,

So I've got like my,

I've got my anger and my fear here and then underneath it is pain,

Sorrow and sadness.

But you know something,

The sadness has been with me all my life.

All my life I've had this overwhelming sadness.

Yeah,

So that's kind of what happens.

We get used to it.

And there's no criticism.

It's our normal.

So actually to let it go is a challenge because we're so used to it.

Yeah.

I want to just feel into,

Miriam,

Into just what you,

What you're saying.

With your ill health,

Is it a big thing or a small thing?

I had the flu jab at the end last year in December and I've been unwell since then,

On and off.

But I've been going through a lot of emotional stuff as well.

And I think being unwell has really brought up,

Oh,

There's just a lot of sorrow under here and a lot of pain and a lot of sadness that,

You know,

I saw this about 12 years ago.

I'm not going to go into a whole story,

But my parents were in the Caribbean.

I went to the Caribbean after many decades in 2012 and I went to a place.

It was,

It used to be,

When my father was alive,

It used to be a plantation and he worked there anyway.

And on the wall,

It's now a museum,

On the wall in this museum,

There was a sort of map and there was a map of where the slaves came from.

And there was also,

Part of it was because my father was Indian,

So they came to the Caribbean as indentures.

That's what it's called.

So there's where the slaves came from,

Where the indentures came from.

And on the map was my family name,

My original family name.

And I stood there and I thought,

This is my pain.

And I couldn't understand.

I couldn't understand how that could be my pain.

That was 12 years ago,

Nearly 13 years ago.

You see,

It's really,

Yes to everything you're saying.

But it's not solvable.

It's not solvable,

Thinking like this.

You're,

You're attracted to the pain.

And it's like,

This,

This is to transcend out of it.

It's like you are divine being in human form.

This is,

I can't see your face.

Can you,

Can you move your,

Yeah,

You're a divine being in human form,

And you are made out of love.

That is the truth.

And you come and you,

Yeah,

You have these lives,

And there's patterns.

Yeah,

But the,

The truth is,

You are an immortal,

Eternal being.

And I feel like you don't know how to let that be true,

You know,

For you.

You don't know how to allow that to sort of come in or make sense to you or.

I feel that I need to have,

I feel like what I said before is that forgiveness,

Forgiveness is part of it because part of my mantra,

What I say is that to this year is to heal,

To grow,

To bring forth buds,

To blossom,

To bring forth,

Forth luscious fruit,

To seed and to sprout.

And I feel that it's actually,

I feel that the way through this for me is to first find forgiveness,

Is to have forgiveness,

And that's part of healing and the growth.

Do you know what forgiveness feels like?

Do you know what it feels like?

Do you know what how is it feeling for me at the moment?

It feels like letting go,

A bit like letting go,

But it doesn't,

It doesn't necessarily,

It doesn't mean that the sadness or the pain is completely gone,

But it's still there,

But it's not overwhelming.

And I'm hoping that will change over time.

You know,

It's very hard for me to know what to say to you.

You don't have to say anything,

Really,

If you don't.

I know that,

Marion,

But I'm,

You know,

I'm talking to the Creator with what I can.

Yeah,

I just,

Just to kind of help the penny to drop for you.

Like,

You're right.

I mean,

It is terrible.

I mean,

And the,

Certainly for darker skinned people on the,

You know,

The indentured thing,

Slavery thing,

It's just unbelievable.

But it's sort of like,

It's,

It's,

You know,

You don't have to carry it,

You don't have to carry it.

And I understand where you go like,

Oh,

This is what's been bothering me underneath.

Because when I went to England,

I got my genetics,

I got,

I understood myself.

Do you know what I mean?

I've got English genetics.

So I understood myself just going to England.

So I'm thinking,

There's part of you,

Sweetie,

There's a refusal to participate with me.

It's like,

Sometimes,

People don't want the input of the teacher,

They just actually want to speak,

And maybe that's just what you want to do.

But I'm,

I really would like to help you feel lighter.

Sweet one,

You,

You pull my heartstrings with how heavy it is for you.

And how it's like this unstoppable sorrow,

Sadness that just,

You know,

Just doesn't seem to get better at all.

I think it's only really just come to my awareness now,

Within the last few weeks.

But that's,

You know,

For me,

What's lying underneath my anger and my fear.

And and I also feel it's a good thing that I can see it and I can feel it.

Whereas I feel that before,

You know,

And it's still there,

You know,

Anger and fear dominated.

I don't know.

But that's,

That's how I feel.

Yeah.

When were you happiest?

I would say the most contented I was,

Would have been was when my son was a baby.

Yeah.

Now 44.

I can imagine.

I always think that is what the silence within feels like.

It's the closest thing,

In my experience,

To when you move into silence.

It's just like how a mother is with a new baby,

How,

How expanded her heart is,

Her love is flowing.

She's,

She knows what the baby needs before the baby even has to squawk,

You know,

The communion is fantastic.

That's the closest thing to what your soul feels like.

Underneath all of this stuff.

So you're saying,

Okay,

This,

This stuff's underneath.

I get it.

But on a deeper level,

It's just this piece.

And may this piece come up and bathe you in it a bit.

Yeah,

I agree with you there.

Underneath,

Underneath all of the pain and sorrow that there's something else.

I just don't know what it is.

But I'm,

I'm hopeful there is something else.

Oh,

It is really.

And it is like that.

Just being,

I've said this before,

It's just so close to what it's like with a new mum.

You're just so wide open.

You're so peaceful.

There's no conflict.

You just love this child.

You're bonded to the child.

That is what being in silence,

It's the closest human thing to it.

And that's very strong in you,

Marion.

Your capacity for motherhood and the compassion in you underneath everything.

Yeah.

Right.

I can feel it.

And this is where I wanted to get to.

Yeah.

And I can feel it.

It's nothing for you to do.

It's just,

You know,

It's nothing for you to do,

Really.

No,

I feel a bit like when I've heard you say there are times in your life where you thought,

Well,

Okay,

This is how it is.

Maybe this is how it's going to be forever.

This is how it is.

This is how it is.

That's it.

That's how it is.

That's it.

You're very different.

Your face looks sort of sweeter and more innocent.

More like a child,

You know,

In the best way than it has done.

So it's all good.

No,

It's just like,

There's no point fighting it.

It's like,

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well,

Maybe.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know,

Maybe you could play there.

Like,

You just think of a really big compassion for Marion,

For all the stuff coming down the genetics,

For what this life's like.

I'm not talking about self-pity.

I'm just talking about a really big compassion.

Yeah.

And maybe that could percolate in.

That will be coming from your soul.

I mean,

This work is to help people weave their soul in.

And sometimes just hearing the words will do it.

You don't have to do anything.

Just knowing it's possible.

Yeah.

You see,

Yeah.

Part of me feels it's not safe.

This is what we're like.

We've been disappointed and hurt so often that it's sort of like,

Oh,

I don't know.

Yeah.

But the thing is,

It's the only way to get out of this stuff is if you let yourself feel the compassion that your soul has for you right now,

As we're talking.

It's your compassionate witness.

Your soul will be witnessing you being sad.

Yeah.

It has immense understanding of why things are this way and immense compassion.

And may this sort of percolate into yourselves in a very organic,

Gradual,

Highest good pace way.

Yeah.

And yeah,

You can have all your thoughts and feelings,

Sweetie.

And what you said to me,

I get it.

I'm not,

I'm not arguing with it.

You're right.

You are.

But there's also this,

This compassion that's underneath as well.

Yeah.

Right.

Good.

Thank you,

Sweetheart.

Thank you.

Thank you for being with me through that.

And,

You know,

I think you said something about resistance and yes,

I know.

And I feel when I get resistant and that's part of it,

You know,

But I,

I'm willing to let my heart open.

I'm willing,

You know,

Like today,

I went for a walk in the park.

I went for a long walk,

In fact.

And,

You know,

I was just saying to myself,

I forgive myself and I,

No,

Not I forgive myself,

I forgive and I let love in.

There you go.

That's it.

That's exactly it.

Good.

That's it.

That's to,

You know,

To forgive everything,

Really.

Yeah,

Really.

That's good.

That's it.

That's it.

Just keep doing it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good work.

Yeah.

It's slow,

But it works.

It's great.

How's your son?

Oh,

I'm not quite sure.

I think he's super tired,

Exhausted.

I'm a bit concerned about him.

Yeah.

I'm honest.

But I'm also aware that he's on his journey.

I will be seeing him later during the week.

Yeah,

Because they've got the kids and they work and they're just super busy all the time.

But I think he's exhausted physically and emotionally.

And I know where that can take you.

But I can't do the journey for him,

But I can be here for him.

Yeah,

Your love,

Your love.

Alma believes,

You know,

She says the love of the mother for the child is a great deal of power and that the prayers of the mother for the child have a great deal of power.

Yeah.

Good.

Thank you.

Oh,

Sweetie.

I feel really emotional now,

But thank you.

Oh,

Sweetie pie.

Thank you.

It's a joy.

Thank you for receiving me.

I don't see you often enough,

But I do listen back to the satsangs.

So thank you.

Yeah,

Whatever works.

It's all good.

It's all good.

Is there anybody else who has got any words of thank you?

Well,

This is Shiva Mayi.

I just have a couple.

I mean,

I read,

I really related to Miriam and the things that she said,

Because I have felt so much sadness in my heart all my life.

But it is better.

It's not.

And you said it was up to be relieved,

You know,

So.

I when I just identify with what she said,

And I remember one time you said that you had like a self back and had a life that you couldn't that you had to see and heal from where you had been really betrayed and you had sought really good things and somehow you were betrayed and that came up and then you could heal that.

I've held on to that a lot that,

You know,

Because I do think that there's that that applies to me,

That there's something back there that needs to be healed.

But I know too that Amba says whatever is in the past life is in this life.

So it is.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I wonder this.

Yeah.

And I just wanted to share one thing,

Too,

That you had talked to that Satsang a couple of weeks ago about asking,

You know,

Asking to heal a certain emotion like anger.

You know,

I was too afraid to tackle fear.

But I did talk about anger.

I did pray about anger.

And I went to the dentist and got sat down in the chair.

Then she said she'd be back and she walked out of the room and she left me there and left me there,

Left me there and left me there.

And,

Man,

Did my two year old come up or I mean,

I was just so pissed off that I was so abandoned in the chair.

And I kind of realized that it was the universe talking to me.

I got that.

Now,

Even though I got it,

I still was so pissed off.

It was kind of it was funny.

So I let myself feel it.

I let myself,

You know,

Feel neglected and all of that kind of stuff.

But it was almost funny because it was really a long time that I sat in a chair.

And then I finally got up and said,

I'm going to say something,

You know,

I'm just going to honor my old two year old.

Go up there and say something like,

Are you going to take care of me?

And I tried not to be mean about it,

But I did speak up.

And anyway,

I it really was this baby part of me that felt so neglected in that then this chair.

So sure,

Sure.

But it's good.

Good.

What you did.

You spoke up.

It's good.

So that sounds very competent,

Shivamari.

You were with your psychological self and you were you also took action of self love,

Like speaking to them about it.

I think it's really good.

It's really good.

I mean,

This is part of our problem is we we we're too passive and we don't complain.

So it's good that you,

You know,

Mentioned maybe she forgot about you,

Didn't she?

No,

Not really.

I think the dentist was just backed up with other people.

And I'm not even sure it was as long a wait as it felt like.

I think it was just that the universe telling me to feel these feelings and get insight to them and act on it.

You know,

It was almost it was blatant,

Really,

That what was going on in my head anyway.

I'm impressed that you could observe it all and have the self knowledge.

You see,

That's very good work.

That's witnessing you guys being with it,

Witnessing yourself.

That's it.

That's it.

Not being reactive,

Not yelling at anybody,

But honoring yourself,

Witnessing it,

Taking action.

Keep in mind that is a quantum leap.

It's fantastic.

Yeah.

Awesome.

That's it,

You guys.

It's almost it's ordinary when we do it.

You see,

It's not there are no bells and whistles.

It's just kind of ordinary.

When you get it,

You just do it.

Sweet ones.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you for turning up.

And also,

You know,

Some of you signed up for the prayer on the prayer page.

It's just a delight to send those prayers out.

Thank you for your devotion,

And that you keep coming,

And that you listen,

And that you're growing.

Thank you.

It's so rewarding for Premasuddha.

It's so rewarding.

All of you,

All of you.

Just huge,

Huge,

Huge love and gratitude for all of you.

Truly.

Like who's a mom?

How can somebody be a mom without the kids,

Right?

You know,

It's like,

You guys,

Let me share this.

It's just so great,

And that you're interested.

Thank you.

Bye.

Bye.