Awareness Satsang: Showers Of Grace
This beautiful satsang brings together like-hearted souls to release darkness, and shift into the light of newfound awareness. Being in Premasudha’s energetic presence helps the gentle graceful dawning of light within. It can feel like breathing fresh new mountain air or drinking from a fresh cool spring on a hot day. Many seekers express feelings of being lost, confused, scrambled, and unaware of their true feelings. Yet in Premasudha’s presence, seekers can warm the inner numbness and come into a new found understanding. As a result, the entire satsang rises together. The energy within the group can lift you, as a listener, too!
Transcript
Blessings.
Blessings,
All of you.
It's so lovely to see your faces.
Thank you.
Thank you for coming.
And may the air be thick with grace,
Ama's grace,
The Creator's grace.
It's the same thing.
Grace for the air around you,
Be thick with grace,
Whether you feel it or not,
May it be so.
We need grace.
It's how we evolve.
We can't evolve without grace.
If you just keep asking for grace,
It's one of the wisest things you can do.
Just about everything.
Yeah.
And the more heartfelt,
The more powerful the grace comes.
Yeah.
It's how it works,
You guys.
If you call for grace,
Like a desperate little child,
Ama comes running,
The angels come running.
Krishna,
Buddha,
They all come running.
Then we have to like retrain ourselves to receive it,
To receive this grace.
And this is what the spiritual journey really is.
It's retraining of ourselves,
Cells of our body.
Okay,
Dear ones,
Questions.
Let's rock.
When you ask a question,
You open the door to the Creator.
You step forward in your bumbling humanity and ask a question.
You're actually opening to grace,
To the Creator's energy.
Simone,
Hi.
Hi,
Everyone.
Hello,
Everyone.
I feel so happy to be here.
Um,
So I reached out,
I was telling you Pramasutra that the word patience really stuck out for me.
And I don't know really where to begin with it.
Other than sometimes I see around me,
The people that I'm close to,
Really stuck in choices of primarily honoring the external world.
And,
You know,
Amassing security,
Working for security,
Like that's what we're supposed to be doing on this earth.
Even like people that are on spiritual paths.
It's so confusing.
And I,
What I've done with it is use it as a mirror for what,
Where I am that way.
And that's the best I can do and then just honor where they're at,
And their choices.
And sometimes though,
It's so tricky.
And I find myself getting crabby and impatient.
Maybe even judgy.
It's terrible.
I'm just gonna admit it.
With people that are very close and dear to me,
And I don't really,
It's like we're moving in different directions.
And so the patience,
Just patience with the outer world,
And choices that seem to be more about control,
And having and being comfortable with God.
Yeah,
Simone,
The thing about your question is,
There's no,
The focus is all on them.
Kind of,
It's like,
What about you?
Like?
Yeah,
What about you?
Okay.
So yeah,
So me today,
You receive permission to come into your own body and existence more.
So you're right,
It's there a mirror.
But what we can do is we can get stuck in our heads looking at a mirror,
You know,
Rather than actually receiving the lesson.
What I can tell you is that if you're having negative thoughts about people close to you,
It's more,
It's more honorable to distance.
Do you see?
Because the negative thoughts hurt you,
And they hurt them.
It's like you're,
You're wanting to keep an attachment.
You're trying to kind of do somersaults and backflips to figure out how to keep this attachment and be comfortable about it all.
Right.
Right.
I know it hurts.
It hurts.
It really hurts.
But what the hurt,
What will heal the hurt is you'll get a soul retrieval,
You'll get Simone's energy coming in to heal this to see as you step away a little bit,
Make more distance,
Then you'll be open to your you'll be opening to your true energy.
That's the shift.
That's the completion of the shift.
And then you'll find out more who you really are,
And who you really want to be with.
You know,
Pramasutra,
That's already happening.
I'll say,
This isn't consuming my life.
There's a lot of space,
Like you say,
For grace.
And,
But I do notice,
You know,
I'm talking about like my best friend,
And we're growing apart.
And so I have to make choices and I do.
And it does it hurt.
It's uneasy,
It's uncomfortable.
I'm just I question whether to distance or face what's happening.
And ask myself,
You know,
About the mirror and everything.
And so I do.
And then the relationships,
They grow apart.
And so I go to the woods,
Here I am in the woods,
Receiving grace and praying.
And so I know,
I know what you're talking about.
And so what happens,
I find you.
So like,
I feel like I'm growing.
And I just wanted to hear what you had to say about,
You know,
The patience with that process,
Or,
Um,
Yeah,
Because it's sticky.
And I do find my mind,
You know,
Sure,
Sure,
Sure.
I think it's really wise to go into nature like you.
That's what I used to do.
You know,
I would just take myself off and deepen and deepen into more clarity and then return.
And then I'd be clear about what action to take,
If any.
It's,
It's the moving into more non attachment,
Which is really what happens is you attach more to the God within you,
You attach more to your true nature.
And you come less attached and less demanding about other people,
You see,
You,
You don't judge them,
Because you're just so captivated with your own true nature.
And your wisdom grows,
Right.
And so you understand that we're all bumbling human beings,
And everybody's at different places on the journey,
And they may be in exactly the right place for them spiritually.
But maybe you've had more lifetimes.
So your Dharma,
This lifetime is to get to know your true nature more and to embody it.
That's good,
Simone,
I can feel it.
There's this willingness to embody your true nature.
This is very good.
Yeah,
That's what to be patient about.
Yeah,
But I can feel it.
It's like I can feel opening being made,
Just with your attendance.
Well,
I don't even know if it's you coming to the satsang is just kind of illustrating this opening was developing,
But it's an authentic opening,
Sweetie,
And you can trust it.
Yes,
And as you speak,
I'm,
I'm realizing that even these human beings,
These beings that I'm talking about,
They're exactly perfect to where they are.
Exactly,
Not only for the but for my journey to look and then within what's happening that is keeping me from being in that loving,
Pure connection with God and just living that.
Sure.
Yeah.
So the negativity you're feeling is just the mud of the Lotus.
Give it over,
Ask for grace,
And you'll be shown.
I can feel this,
You will be shown.
It's good.
Good,
Simone.
Good.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Sweetie,
It's a good question for everybody.
Everybody will know exactly what you're talking about.
Do you all know what I'm talking about?
A version of it?
Sure,
Look at them.
It's the human condition,
You know?
Good.
Thank you.
Laura?
Thank you for listening.
Hi,
Everybody.
I just want to say for Simone,
The one thing I've learned from Prima Suda is that we're all exactly where we're supposed to be on this journey.
And it's not bad.
And I do the same thing.
I tend to judge when I feel I'm growing apart from someone and I pull back.
And it's okay.
Laura,
Did you have a question,
Sweetie?
Did you have a question?
No,
I was just commenting.
Thank you,
Laura.
That's really helpful.
I don't need to think that it's bad,
This process,
Just working through it.
Thank you for reminding me that.
Ren,
Did you have a question?
Yes.
There's a lot of,
I feel like,
Disgust coming up for me,
Like with myself,
With others,
With situations.
And then,
Like,
I guess I make actions,
But I get,
I feel quite confused,
Like,
Which,
How do I articulate?
So,
It feels like there's this feeling of quite,
Like,
Scattered,
Like you're flying apart or something,
Like very,
Just,
Like,
I don't know where I am.
I don't know,
Kind of,
Like,
What's going on.
I feel like I have a better grasp on things,
But then it doesn't,
Kind of,
Dissolves.
So,
Do you have a regular spiritual practice at all,
Corinne?
Just be honest,
Like,
There's no,
Yeah,
Whatever,
Just the truth.
Yeah,
No,
I'm coming back to,
Like,
There was a void for about a year or two,
Like,
Where I didn't do anything.
And now,
I'm struggling to,
Like,
So no,
No,
Like,
I have small things,
Like greeting the day,
But not my,
Not what I had before.
Okay,
So this is one of the things with Westerners.
It's like,
Like,
When you're on the spiritual journey,
If you're really on it with a teacher,
It will be really chaotic for you if you try to evolve without set spiritual practices to help hold you.
Do you understand?
Even if they're,
Like,
Walking meditations or dishwashing meditations,
It's like,
What happens with Westerners is our minds start going berserk,
Basically.
Do you see?
They start,
The soul starts to move,
And the ego starts flooding our heads with thoughts,
And uncomfortable feelings come up.
So,
It's,
It's sort of like to help support yourself on the journey,
To make time to connect with the Creator,
And something to hold you that you can keep going back to every day.
Because,
Sweetie,
All these things you're talking about are all feelings and experiences that come up on the journey,
But without something to ground you,
It's,
It's easy just to walk around in confusion that's kind of never resolved.
Do you understand?
Now,
Yeah,
Right,
So,
Sweetie,
On the Right,
So,
Sweetie,
Alma talks about building,
Having a structure for spiritual,
You know,
Of spiritual practices to hold you during difficult times.
This one,
In my ignorance,
I didn't do that,
But what I had was an overwhelming commitment to move into to embody my soul energy.
Do you see what I mean?
So,
I was on it all the time.
I never left it.
Do you see?
You can do it that way.
I mean,
It's what worked for this one.
And I would go through big ups and downs,
But I would always find the solution through allowing grace into my body.
So,
Sweetie,
The disgust is ego.
The scatteredness is ego.
It's like you could,
Even if you just sit for 15 minutes,
Twice a day,
And not even a formal meditation practice,
But if you just sit and watch your thoughts,
Or focus on your heart area.
Yeah.
Okay,
So,
How do you feel?
And again,
Be really,
Really honest.
I feel there was when you said,
When you said it doesn't have to be formal,
You can sit and watch your thoughts,
And like I heard in my head,
I can do that.
Like,
Yeah,
And I felt myself kind of like,
I felt a smile,
And I kind of like,
Because I feel I can do that.
Like,
I can do that.
Right.
And I maybe feel that I couldn't do the others.
Right.
Right.
So,
And,
You know,
Even if you can't sit one day,
You could go for a walk.
Just honor the decision to connect with yourself for this period of time.
You see what I mean?
So,
If you can't sit,
You can walk,
Or you could do the dishes,
But just stay on it.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay,
I want to,
There's more that needs to be transmitted to you.
See,
One of the,
One of the things that I come across in Westerners,
And I get it,
We want to use the spiritual journey to feel better.
Okay.
Amma says most people that come to her just want to feel better about their pursuit of objects and wealth.
And it does not work.
It doesn't work.
We can't use the spiritual journey to feel better.
What you can do is get really interested in who you really are in your true nature,
In wanting to serve unconditional love here,
To know what it is,
To know what love is.
Yeah.
Right.
To really know what it is.
Yeah.
That.
Okay.
Okay.
Keep that at the forefront of your mind.
Okay.
Okay.
Right.
And you guys,
If you're a sincere seeker,
There will be some periods where you feel enormous,
I won't say enormous,
But disgust will come up,
Scatteredness,
Hate,
Fear,
Whatever.
You just keep a focus on the creator,
On Amma,
Whoever,
Buddha,
Whatever.
You keep that focus,
And you keep,
You know,
Asking for help.
And what will happen is unconditional love will start flowing into your bodies at a whole new level.
You will melt the alienation that you're carrying,
That many of us are carrying in ourselves,
And you will receive love.
But it can be very difficult process.
It can be quite hair-raising,
Which is why I offer the satsangs and the questions and answers to help support.
Simone was talking about like a patient,
To be,
You know,
Patient with the process.
Yeah,
That was,
Hearing Simone talk was very,
I felt very pertinent,
Like,
I was like,
Me too.
That was really,
The patience,
I find it hard,
Like,
To give it to myself.
Right.
This is it.
And when we're feeling disgust and all this stuff,
It's hard to receive love.
So you have to give,
You have to go like,
Okay,
I give all this over to you to solve,
Creator,
Because I don't know what to do with this stuff.
But it's the mud of the lotus.
But you guys remember,
You have to be very honorable with the journey.
You just have to,
Like,
Take what comes and go through what the creator puts you through.
Because it's all coming from love.
See,
We're not really human beings.
I mean,
This,
These human aspects of us,
We're going to die.
And the spiritual journey is we're wanting to free our eternal natures in this life.
It's a very different way of living.
And Corinne,
You know this,
You know,
You could be going through a hard time,
But maybe if you're working with clients,
Maybe some of them are having breakthroughs.
And that gives you feedback that you're on the right track.
See,
It's like that.
It's like the razor said,
You just walk,
And you look for signs that you're on the right track.
Keep a journal.
See,
You guys,
Keeping a journal,
Having a meditation practice,
They're kind of just basic.
That's basic for,
For progress on the journey.
Otherwise,
You're you're inviting chaos.
Right?
It's like you can't,
If you sign up for a PhD program,
You can't just like refuse to go to classes,
Not do your homework,
Because they're not going to work.
We're a bit casual about the journey,
But it's,
We're working with true reality here.
So you,
You want to be respectful of this process and the guidance that,
That you,
That you hear.
How are you feeling now?
I'm feeling,
I feel my hips are settled.
A little nausea.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Go.
Yeah.
And nausea is the stomaching divinity and clearing.
And I feel like on the chest,
There's like this kind of like feeling up there.
Okay.
Is it expanding?
Is it nervousness?
Is it?
Oh,
There's two.
I think there's a nervousness and like,
It feels loose underneath,
But a little nervous on top,
Like,
Right,
Like,
There's kind of two.
Okay.
So just be with that data.
It's like underneath,
You're at peace with this on the surface level,
You're a little nervous about this expansion.
That's just where you are.
Okay.
And where you are.
Okay.
And remember the key to this approach is our bodies will,
If we keep the focus on the creator,
Our bodies make the shift for us.
So if we're sincere,
Our bodies will be moving more into being able to receive grace,
Unconditional love,
And to free our true nature.
Right?
You're just nervous about it feels like it's like underneath,
You're like,
Yes.
And then on top,
You're going,
Oh,
Mama,
I don't know if that's all right.
And just just put your arms around that.
That's your state right now.
It's not wrong.
It's just a picture of how you are.
That's it.
It's like,
You guys,
You you're entitled to be yourselves.
You're entitled to receive love.
And sweetie,
What this one's had decades of this kind of experience.
So I'm,
I'm at peace with it now.
But I wasn't.
I would walk around with my hair standing on end.
Really,
For years,
I did that.
Does anybody else got question?
Hi,
Pramasutra.
Stephanie.
Stephanie.
Yeah,
Sweetie.
I'm struggling,
I think with just a friendship that I've had in the past.
And Simone kind of kind of reminded me about being patient with myself,
But I would like your perspective as well.
A really good friend of mine that we've been good friends,
But and I know something bubbled up about her saying that,
You know,
I felt offended that she's called me a Hindu.
In the past now being with Amma and I don't describe to any particular religious perspective,
Maybe Christian or maybe a love of Christ,
I would say not even Christian.
But I feel,
Yeah,
She kind of just pegged me.
And didn't really address it because I just mentioned to her,
I'm like,
No,
It's more I love Amma.
Not that I'm necessarily like,
Into a certain religion.
But it really did strike me.
And my relationship with her has changed since being with Amma.
So it's very difficult now to connect at times.
So I don't have very many friendships left.
If anything,
I have like two from the past.
And the other one is also dissolving very quickly.
It almost has.
Right.
And I mentioned to her to you about her before.
And so this one that's really left and I have a connection with her son as well.
And I don't know if it's just temporary.
I may be,
You know,
I'll find you grounding or there'll be more grounding.
But I also feel the sadness and loss right now is coming up for me.
Because we are very close and have known each other and taught together as well.
So it's also one of my last teaching like relationships as a connection to teaching to so I've been thinking about it the last few days.
So sort of what's your question about it?
So my question is,
Is I feel like I'm looping.
I'm praying about it.
But I understand this loop.
It feels like I've written in my journal about it.
But nothing's really coming up.
Except patience,
Which is Simone came on.
Yeah,
You know,
May take time.
I mean,
They may take time,
You know,
For you to really unravel the full thing.
Sometimes it can help us to move into power if we like learning to be true to ourselves is sometimes just finding a way to speak to the person directly about the comment.
So she called you Hindu like,
You know,
Sometimes we draw back and we hide in our safety deposit box in our hearts and try to figure it out.
Okay,
Please hear that.
We draw back,
We retreat from the situation,
We go into the safety deposit box in the heart,
And we try to figure it out.
And it's not solvable there.
Okay.
It's solvable by coming forward in utter innocence and speaking directly to it with a person.
So you can,
You know,
Just that you whatever,
You know,
Go go inside until the creator gives you their Alma gives you the words to speak to her with.
And then you have to be prepared that maybe the whole thing will dissolve as a result,
You don't know,
Or a bigger understanding could come,
You don't know.
It's,
It's up to Alma,
It's up to the creator.
Okay,
You there's nothing for you to hold on to,
Except your connection to truth,
Your deepening,
And the creators bringing you showing you who to spend time with.
Now,
One of the things you guys that can happen with friends,
Especially on the journey,
We,
We sometimes,
We have a subtle pressure on the print on the fence,
Like we want them to get it.
We want them to get it the way we want them to get it.
Okay,
And it's actually coming from fear of our own truth.
So we want them to change rather than we having to face our own depth.
Right.
And to see what we're running deep inside our hearts.
But believe me,
I know from my journey,
The how stark it can be sometimes.
When we see the,
The walls of alienation,
And it looks like they're between us and our friends,
But actually,
They're in the cells of our body,
These walls of alienation.
So when you say you're looping,
It's like,
I mean,
This is really your your step on the journey.
I mean,
You're being asked to go deeper,
Stephanie,
Then you normally you're comfortable with.
Right.
And so yeah,
You will loop for a while.
And it might feel scary to deepen,
But you'll,
You know,
You'll deepen,
You'll get I mean,
This is where all the knowledge of the vastness in the past lives comes from.
And you know,
Just by being thrown back by life,
And we get thrown back on ourselves.
And we're stuck with ourselves.
And if we if we turn to the creator,
The knowledge will come,
You will get an understanding.
And you know,
She's in a very different space.
I mean,
She's married with a child.
Do you know,
You're,
You know,
Right now,
You're without a job.
And you're,
You know,
You,
You're just able to do what you want.
And so,
You know,
There's a level that this example will be maybe threatening to the whole family on some levels.
Do you know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Even as the love for the sun is received and validated.
But it's not their fault either.
It's just,
You know,
There's something that took me a long time to go with to understand,
But it's like,
Don't take your true self where you're not welcome.
Yeah,
Just don't do it.
Don't treat your God self like that.
And for us,
When we're loving,
And we keep making overtures and overtures and overtures,
But,
You know,
If we can hurt ourselves that way.
Everybody's got different journeys and life tasks.
And,
And in my experience,
You know,
The loss of friends can be very freeing,
Because then there is nothing to stop you from turning to your heart for the answers to turning to Amma to the Creator for the answers,
Okay?
These attachments have to melt.
You know,
What happens is the more you are true to yourself,
Then your relationships,
Then tend to reflect that more.
So,
You know,
Premasutra is true to herself.
So I bond freely with all of you guys.
You know,
It's nice.
Yeah.
If you have your own heart,
You can,
You can express it everywhere.
See,
Westerners,
You know,
It'll be the bonding with the mother will be in this,
There'll be so much in this,
Stephanie,
It may take you a year to get it all.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah,
This is where the four decades came from.
You know,
It's,
We get it when we get it.
But just keep sincerely turning to the Creator for guidance.
And know that,
You know,
You know,
That the negative thoughts about people,
They hurt them and hurt us.
Yeah.
Yeah,
My heart goes out to you,
Sweetie.
Yeah.
But you will become more as a result of this.
You know,
This,
This journey probably sounds like a lot of hard work and angst today.
And you know,
It's also glorious.
It's not always tough.
It's sometimes just glorious.
It's,
It's just that,
You know,
Westerners,
Sometimes we're not prepared for the depth of it,
Because we're so outward focused.
So we have to,
Like,
Train ourselves,
You know,
To,
To,
To,
To,
To,
To,
To,
To,
To,
Train ourselves,
Allow ourselves to be helped,
To learn how to live with an inward focus,
Like a pregnant woman.
She's always got one eye on the inside,
As well as on the outside.
And this is not easy for Westerners,
By and large.
May help.
A long,
Long time ago,
I was with a teacher.
And this person said that we were outgrowing all the divas,
You know,
That helped nature,
All the divas and fairies,
That they were,
They were sort of taking care of nature for human beings.
But now human beings were,
Were growing in our development,
It's sort of like reaching teenagehood.
And it was up to us to,
To learn how to take this subtle,
Subtle responsibility for Mother Nature,
That these divas and fairies were,
They were completing the job.
And it was up to us for our hearts to open,
Get bigger,
In order to take over this,
This job.
And you see,
In our relationships with other human beings,
It's the same big jump,
It is a big expansion of understanding,
A big expansion to learn how to love and honor your true self,
And also have relationships with others.
From that place of self honoring.
It's a big jump.
And that's what we're in.
And we're,
We're having trouble with it.
But,
You know,
The Creator wins,
So things will get solved.
The bonding with your true nature is key.
And that's what,
You know,
I find in,
You know,
Almost all the people around me,
That's the difficulty.
And of course,
You know,
Of course,
We're,
We're raised in this outward focused society.
Like,
Yeah,
How could it be otherwise?
I mean,
It's like,
You guys are heroes for being interested in finding another way.
But your interest in finding another way is helping Mother Nature.
This is helping,
This is taking over the work of the divas and the fairies in lots of ways,
This expansion into this bigger understanding,
You see.
It does become very,
Very simple,
Finally,
You guys.
I promise you.
And Laura,
Your comment was very sweet.
I've just,
With,
With the question and answer,
There's just been some times where people have made comments on the content of somebody else's speaking,
And sometimes it's like upset the person.
So that's why I was like,
A little bit,
You know,
Cautious,
And I don't know Simone.
And,
You know,
I just didn't want anything to go.
Yeah.
So it's just something to keep in mind to just with comments is sometimes.
Yeah.
But anyway,
I,
Sweetie Pie,
You have a lovely heart.
And thank you for your input.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Blessings.
Yeah,
You guys.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Everybody's.
We're also sensitive,
You know.
And,
Yeah.
You know,
Amma says that with our wounding right now,
That our woundings like,
Like a red ulcer,
Like a really sore point,
And that when we go to the wounding,
It's like,
And that's what,
That's what can happen sometimes.
You know,
If it's depending on how many years on the journey the person's had,
And,
You know,
How grounded in their spiritual practices they are.
Yeah,
It's,
You know,
It's because we're just heroes for doing this work at this time.
Okay,
Just you've got to like a badge of heroism,
A medal of honor,
Please,
Please receive this for me,
Please with all my heart.
Oh,
My goodness,
My hat off.
Really?
Okay,
You can get this.
Good.
I can feel like this badge of honor,
Or just,
You know,
Any,
Any focus on this at all.
And please,
We're,
We're all bumbling human beings.
You know?
Right.
You're heroes.
Yeah.
I feel this so deeply.
This big validation is coming to you.
I just feel it so deeply about you.
That's it.
That's it.
Right.
Right.
That's it.
That's it.
It's receiving it in your bodies.
Yeah.
It's the perseverance that works.
It's just keeping going.
It's never give up.
You know,
In my 30s,
With my bumbling idiocy,
You know,
I had a whole decade of like,
I mean,
This whole decade was like,
I felt like the queen of pain,
You know,
And that's why I'm like,
So want to help you guys,
Because I don't want you going through that.
But you know,
You,
You will get whatever pain you,
You have to experience in order to bring you into surrender.
So that you open to the love that everything's made out of.
And you and you'll start getting kind of non attached to the pain,
You just go,
Okay,
I'm sad today,
You know,
And it won't,
It won't upset you won't worry you just beyond having a sad day today.
Yeah.
But the thing you really need to look at inside you,
You guys,
Is how deep is is how deep is your commitment to the journey?
Because that is what I bang up against in people when I'm working.
It's like the commitment isn't very deep.
And it's like,
Okay,
There's not much that this one can help with then.
Yeah.
To really get down to how much you really want to bring in your true nature.
And if you've got withholds,
Just notice them don't get mad at yourself.
Like,
Please don't.
Don't fuss.
But just give any withholds over to the creator ask for help.
Right?
But I mean,
You're all intelligent.
You see that like,
If you're walking around,
Like,
Hopelessly ambivalent,
You know,
It's,
You're going to get that kind of progress.
But sometimes we're raising kids,
Or we were at a job that's like 50 hours a week,
Or 60 hours a week.
It's like,
Don't judge yourselves,
But just see,
Let yourself see.
You guys,
You can see stuff in yourself without judging it and just go,
Oh,
Yeah,
Okay.
I told you,
I used to think that,
That,
That as a reward for the spiritual journey,
I'm not kidding,
That I would get some hosts sort of brought to me on,
I don't know,
Chariot wheels or something or something finally to live in.
Like,
It's like,
Grandma Suda,
How deluded I mean,
You know,
If that was my Dharma,
That would happen.
It's not like it couldn't happen.
But it is a distortion of the spiritual journey to have a desire like that,
Or to have a a bartering thing going like that,
You know,
And we just get shown it doesn't work and we grow out of it.
Yeah,
You guys,
And you know,
When when this one gets a little tough,
It's because this one is so soft.
If I don't bring in toughness,
We end up in cloud cuckoo land.
It was like raising the boys,
You know,
I was so soft and everything.
And then suddenly,
I'd be like,
What the hell is going on?
And I'd have to get tough to bring things back to center.
It's very similar with the journey with you guys is I can be I'll be really soft and everything.
And then when I when I encounter ego,
I will be really tough because otherwise,
We end up in cloud cuckoo land.
That's that's not good work.
But it's not personal.
You guys,
It's not personal.
It's just like a surgeon to remove the ego.
That's all.
Yeah.
Right.
That's why you come.
You don't come to be mollycoddled.
You know,
Hopefully,
Like hopefully,
Of course,
We all want to be modeling a little puddle.
But you know,
Underneath,
You know,
You really want to wake up.
That's the only reason I ever get tough with people just because this one is so soft.
Yeah.
Good.
Maybe this will help.
Yeah,
Your understanding and being able to receive this.
Yeah.
Anybody else got any questions or comments?
Hi,
Pramasutha.
Hello.
It's so good to see you.
And this really helped.
It helped so much what you just said,
Because,
You know,
You know,
I'm such a model,
Then I'm in situations,
I'm fine again,
Like,
I feel more more peace.
And this morning,
I thought,
Oh,
Yeah,
I'm feeling better.
And I'm doing it and everything.
So and then I indulged myself with a beautiful day and I went into the sauna and I had a good time there and I felt so relaxed and,
You know,
Being with my mantra all the time.
And then I came back.
And all of a sudden,
I feel this up again.
And my question or I what I wanted to tell you is that I feel this bodily sensations more and more in the last weeks.
It's like a tingling.
And normally when I had tingles before,
It was always lovely.
It was oh,
It was a sparkling,
Lightful tingling sensation.
And now these tingles are mixed with numbness.
And sometimes I feel them really heavily,
Like being poisonous tingles.
When,
When darkness comes up.
It's so like,
Sometimes I feel my lips get blue.
Yes,
I can't feel it anymore.
Yes.
Yes.
And it's so good.
You're speaking about this.
I am very,
Very happy.
And we could also speak on the phone if you wish,
But maybe that's not necessary.
You know?
Okay.
Okay,
Anna.
May you be ready to hear this?
Okay.
Because I've been saying it to you for five years.
Okay.
Anna,
When you were when you got up this morning,
And you went,
You were feeling good.
And it's like,
Yay,
I'm doing it.
Right.
Right.
Yeah,
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was like,
That is the problem.
That is the problem.
It's making Oh,
And this is so common,
You guys making a judgment.
Oh,
About,
Like,
About yourself this way.
Like,
As if this is a game,
And you're doing it right.
And you've got it now.
And the the,
The other state of,
You know,
The opposite of that is bad.
Anna.
And this is why you're getting poisoned with the numbness.
Because,
Because,
You know,
Why it's tingles and numbness,
Because you really need to see this and refusal to see it will steer you into being number.
Do you see what I mean?
Because it's time for you to see it.
And if you refuse to see it,
Then you're choosing numbness.
Because you've already paid quite a big cost for this for what,
For what went on recently,
You've paid a big cost for it.
Okay.
And the reason is,
Because the universe really wants you to get this and move into truth,
Or refuse to get it,
The numbness will increase.
You guys,
This is what the journey is like.
It is true reality,
There is no messing around with it.
We cannot keep the journey and remain in our egos.
So,
Anna,
Like,
This is stunning work.
This is what I hoped for.
And you already had a dream of you being illuminated,
Remember?
And as I said to you,
Hold on to that dream,
That signals that you're going in the right direction.
Okay?
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
So when you don't know,
And Corinne too,
When you don't know what's up or down,
Or whatever,
You hold on to anything,
Right Jenna,
Anything you've,
You can find that signals that you're on the right track.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
You,
You,
And sweetie,
You,
Yeah,
You just need to be very patient,
But be on it.
It's patient and stay on it.
All of you guys,
That's the key,
Patient and staying on it.
And getting Anna stepping back and getting really interested in what you do to yourself.
Yeah.
Right.
Because this is the injured little child going,
Oh,
I've got it now.
It's also not,
I'm pleasing mama,
You know,
Mama,
Mama.
Premisuda,
I've got it.
And it's like,
No,
It's you're feeling good.
It's just,
You know,
It's sure.
It's lovely to feel good.
It's wonderful to feel good and enjoy it.
Enjoy it fully.
Yeah,
Revel in it,
But don't go,
Oh,
I'm doing it right now.
And it's,
It is just a subtle thing with your mind.
It's where you're attached and it will be where you're attached to your family as well.
Right.
But it's interesting.
I'm getting,
You're brave enough to do this Anna.
Hmm.
Where else are you going to go anyway?
Right.
Like if you go on the journey,
It gets so that you,
You have to stay on it.
Yeah.
So I'm seeing like clear air around you now.
It's like the clarity coming out of the confusion.
You know,
This is the clarity,
Right?
It's very subtle stuff.
It's how we are with ourselves.
We're taught to be cogs in a machine and to move into that.
We're a value in ourselves is,
Is just the most radical thing you can do,
But it's the thing that helps most.
So,
And I,
I really value your increased honesty and increased vulnerability.
This is really,
Really good.
So how are you feeling right now?
I can feel,
I still feel that the tingles,
But I,
The tingles,
But I,
I feel a bit more clarity.
I don't know where it's,
It's everywhere around me and in me.
And.
And again,
Don't judge the numbness.
No,
No,
No,
No.
It's like,
It's,
It's,
It's like,
It's like comforting me.
It's like being with me just yes.
Good.
It's,
It's,
It's like,
At the moment it's even soothing and it's,
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's okay.
I feel,
You know,
I got this,
When you were talking,
I got this picture of me embracing all of me,
Not,
You know,
The whole,
The whole package and the numbness and the tingling and the poisonous stuff.
And it makes so much sense.
You know,
It's like,
I feel a bit more whole.
Yes.
The tingling is like a,
A beautiful light blanket on my skin.
It's,
It's beautiful on my skin and it's just.
Okay.
So that subtle feeling of being more whole is actually a huge spiritual step that you took.
And because we're working in this,
Like the feminine face of God work,
These steps can be taken so seamlessly like this.
And since we've been deeply associated over five years and I've stayed with you and stuff,
There's a level of trust there that is allowing.
And also,
You know,
You,
You know,
It's like when we're not 30 anymore,
We we realize that we got to get this done before death,
Right?
Like,
You know,
We get more motivated sometimes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That feeling of wholeness,
That's it.
And you put your arms around yourselves and you guys,
Then you become attached to your own truth and then more non attached to everything else,
But then more loving with everything else.
You actually can love more deeply.
Yeah.
Good.
Wow.
Victory.
J Ma really victory.
This is a victory.
Good.
But don't hang on to the victory thing.
I'm sorry.
I was just,
No,
I was just going like,
Stay humble,
Be hard,
Just be humble and everything will.
Yeah.
Just be yourself.
You know?
Yeah.
Yes.
I mean,
What else can we be other than ourselves?
I mean,
Yeah,
That's it.
That's it.
Okay,
Good.
Whole and hearty,
Full of heart,
Full and hearty and hearty.
Yeah.
And heart spells here with a T here,
Listening to this,
To this soft,
Soft voice here,
Hear your heart.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's also simple.
It's just,
The thing is to just do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh,
It's very good.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
Thank you for speaking blessings,
Anna.
Thank you.
Rameshuta.
Yeah.
Jenna.
And this last week I've been experiencing a lot of sensations of anger,
Specifically towards my mom.
And with the election in the,
In the U.
S.
There's a,
It seems like an outward example of the choice that you speak of,
Of choosing which direction we're going to go towards love or towards violence.
And I'm having a difficult time and I'm having a difficult time knowing that my mom,
You know,
That in a lot of ways that she chooses to stay asleep.
And I think my question is,
You have given me a lot of support in thinking through and examining how,
As I am going through this journey of retrieving my soul and hearing my heart and asking the question of who I really am,
Asking the question of who I really am as,
As I become,
As I draw closer to that information,
I feel an old,
Just a habit of mine to want to give it away.
And I don't know how to take care of it.
And I think my question is around family,
A feeling of responsibility towards,
Yeah,
Family,
Both in like physical taking care of family in this earth plane,
But also maybe karma.
Right.
Of why I even chose this family in the first place.
But also how to take care of my true nature in the meantime.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I'm,
I'm feeling,
You know,
Sweetie,
Like the confusion.
Yeah.
It's like multi-level confusion.
And I,
Yeah.
So I think for you to just get that,
That there's a level of confusion in you.
Yeah.
So I'm,
I don't know that I can even answer your question.
Okay.
From where it was posed,
You see,
But I can offer you unconditional love and guidance to help you grow.
So,
You know,
That whatever you see in your mom is reflecting you,
Right?
Yeah.
And that's your point of power is understanding that everything you see is telling you about you,
Even the election,
Everything.
Yeah.
So what I feel like is when you go to you,
What you hit are levels of shame that you don't know how to process,
Get through,
Love yourself enough to give over.
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
So the storylines about the flaws of our parents,
Right.
And mistakes of our parents and sweetie,
This is just human.
It's,
It's,
It's not,
You know,
It's just not going to work on the journey.
It's,
It's a deeper level of love for you to receive and you you're scared and you don't know how to do it,
You know?
And,
You know,
When we're intelligent and creative,
We can get very busy in our minds.
And I mean,
Everybody here is intelligent.
So we all know what that's like,
You know,
The labyrinth and all the opinions and judgments of the labyrinth.
But the thing is,
It's like Jenna's true nature here,
Who doesn't get enough airtime.
And,
And it loses the shame.
And then also you've got this fear around survival.
It's like,
You know,
Well,
Maybe if I move into truth,
I'm not going to be able to stay at my job.
And it's like,
It's not going to work thinking like that.
It's like,
This is like the level of sincerity.
It's like we're either on the journey or not,
Right?
It's kind of like,
You know,
But we have to be patient with ourselves,
Because this stuff is just human.
But sweetie,
The real problem is the level of shame that is covering up your true nature.
So when I'm speaking to you right now,
I'm seeing this level of shame.
And I'm,
I'm just wanting to connect up with you,
To love you.
I do love you.
The love's coming.
This one had a lot of shame too.
So yeah,
So what are you doing with this in your head?
Just don't worry about being bad or good.
Just what's your response to what I'm saying?
It's just my wanting to do something about it.
You know,
Wanting to,
Wanting a to do list,
Wanting to take action.
Yeah.
Okay,
So there it is.
There's that.
And it's like,
It's a form,
You guys,
We get crippled by this,
Really.
We're crippled by it.
So we learn to move through it.
We're crippled by this to do thing,
Until we learn to love ourselves enough that we can just be.
And you're,
You're skittish with me,
Jenna,
Even like you're like a,
You know,
A skittish racehorse.
You really,
You really want it.
And at the same time,
You know,
You,
You push me away a little bit,
Like,
You know,
Sort of you want doses of me that that are manageable.
And that's okay.
That's okay.
It's okay.
But it's like that.
Yeah,
Sweetie.
I mean,
At root,
You're,
Okay,
The thing that's really bothering you is you're not sure that the shame thing isn't true.
That is the thing that's bothering you.
Part of you thinks it's true.
And it's not.
It's the opposite,
Dear one is just the opposite.
Sweetie pie.
Yeah,
You poor,
Poor hurt heart.
But I don't mean that in a pitting way at all.
Just utter compassion.
Right.
Right.
We think it might be true.
And it's not.
It's not.
Yeah,
Sweetie.
Oh,
Sweetheart.
Yeah.
You guys,
This is,
You know,
What's also with the women,
You know,
We were,
We,
We learned to be ashamed of our true nature.
So part of us goes like,
It's really true.
And it's not.
You see,
You get hypnotized by your busy mind.
And it takes you into these stories.
And it's Yeah.
But Jenna,
Sweet one,
If anybody has shown themselves to be sturdy on the journey,
It's you because you kept going when for months,
There was so little to keep you going so little,
You know,
That was coming through to keep you on the journey,
And you stayed on it.
That's what I see in you.
It's like a persistence that's just off the charts.
Yeah.
Yeah,
There was basically no positive feedback that you were on the right track for about a year till you had that dream.
Pivotal dream.
Yeah,
And you kept going.
And you know,
You're at the hardest part of the journey.
This is the foundation work.
There's a lot of effort for not much payoff for anybody who's in their 30s.
Sometimes it's just like this.
But the payoff will show later,
Your hair might be white,
But it will show.
I promise you,
I promise you,
There will be enormous payoff for this.
And if you just get a little,
Like,
I feel like maybe this is giving you permission to be just a little lighter with yourself.
Like,
Yeah,
Like,
You're beautiful.
It's just beautiful.
This is,
You know,
When when Abraham told me like,
I was a great mother and a great student,
I didn't feel any better because I was feeling shame about being Janet.
Just like what you feel,
Jenna.
Shame about being Jenna,
But you'll grow out of it.
It's loosening even as we're talking.
And in everybody else,
May that be so because it's just such baloney.
You're going,
I can hear you saying to me,
If I let go of this shame,
Who will I be?
Well,
You'll be Jenny in the light.
You see,
This is where we're,
Where our ambivalence shows,
Right?
We go like,
Well,
It's kind of hell.
But if I let go of,
But maybe if I let go of hell,
It's going to be even worse.
But maybe if I let go of hell,
It's going to be even worse.
This is what we're like.
But remember,
Sweetie,
You've got a teacher who's saying this directly to you.
So you're kind of honor bound to keep it in mind.
Yeah.
Right.
The universe pays attention to how we respond to love.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Okay,
Good.
You've got that.
Sometimes it's good.
You know,
Amma says that basically people in Kali Yuga don't turn to God except out of fear.
Do you know that we get like fear of God?
Finally,
We start seeing like,
That if we don't choose this,
That worse things are going to happen.
And the reason Kali Yuga,
It's like this is because we got so many defenses.
So usually we don't turn to God unless we're actually a little scared,
And then we'll turn to God and get sincere.
Right.
So how do you feel now?
I feel like my center of gravity has shifted to lower in my body.
I feel like I waffle back and forth between what feels like a much younger version of myself and then a now version of myself and I feel more in my body and more in my my now self.
Right,
But there's a little bit of right and there's a little hint of a judgment there about your earlier self.
It's like,
You know,
This is just the shell splitting on the next level of growth.
It's always like this Jenna.
Okay,
Yeah.
And the earlier version of yourself that you're calling earlier is just the the old shell splitting.
This happens over and over.
That makes sense.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Right.
So I'm just wanting to expand your your view to so that you see it's not a shameful process.
It's an organic natural process.
We just go through it psychologically.
Just like Mother Nature goes through it in the outside world,
We go through this in psychologically.
Right.
Right.
You feel better?
Feels better to me.
This is good.
Thank you.
Oh,
Thank you.
Thank you.
You know,
We're,
We're it.
Yeah,
It's accelerating you guys.
So there's these shifts,
You know,
You can make them very organically.
Yeah,
It's beautiful work today at the satsang,
You guys.
All of you,
Whether you spoke or not,
All of you.
Yeah.
And hearing this,
Just hearing and hearing the responses,
It will,
It will help stabilize you.
Some of you have been feeling a little unstable,
It'll help stabilize you.
And it's like fertilization for your own growth,
It'll bubble up,
It will help your unconscious,
It will help you just understand how growth takes place.
Yeah,
They're beautiful,
You guys.
All right.
Well,
Blessings,
You guys.
