A Relationship Can’t Fix What Only Inner Union Can Heal

My friend,

If you suffer because of relationships,

This video might change your life.

It doesn't matter if you are in a relationship already.

Or if you're desperately looking for a partner.

The problem is in suffering because of it.

You see,

If the inner work is not done,

Then either we suffer because we don't have a partner or we attract a reflection that doesn't fulfill us,

That doesn't satisfy us.

It's not a perfect match for that version of us which has done the inner work and therefore it's not suffering.

And I speak this from experience because in my past,

Most of my suffering was coming from relationships,

Whether it was lack of relationships or when I was in it,

I was constantly struggling with it.

As I worked on myself and as I worked with other people in my coaching,

In my retreats,

I worked with hundreds of singles and couples.

And what I have noticed is that if you do what we are going to talk about today,

There's definitely going to be a shift within you and that inner shift will be reflected in your outer relationships.

So the first thing I want to say is that one of the biggest reasons we seek relationships is because of love,

Is because we want to connect.

But not just that,

There are underlying reasons we need a relationship.

And that is maybe because we want to be validated.

Maybe because we don't feel good enough that somebody loves us that we feel secure.

That we finally feel that somebody sees us or maybe because we are lonely.

You see,

None of these reasons are wrong.

But the problem is that if you're operating from these underlying reasons,

Then we may be a little bit too desperate about seeking that relationship.

Or we may be abandoning ourselves in a relationship that is not even a match anymore and we're still in it.

You see,

There are so many self-sabotaging things we do when we don't take the time to understand why am I so desperate?

Why am I not leaving this relationship?

Or why am I not working on this relationship?

Why am I passive about it?

So first thing we need to notice is that it's not okay.

It's not okay if you're coming from this desperation,

Or from self-abandonment,

Or passiveness,

Or anxiety.

These things are human,

But they're not okay.

And that's why we want to look at it.

That's why we want to really face these things and see,

Hey,

Wait a minute.

Why am I acting this way?

Why am I not fulfilled by myself?

Or why am I tolerating this relationship?

Why am I not letting it go?

Why am I not working on it?

Any of these questions are valid depending on your situation,

But the point is that it's not ideal.

It's not the best thing for you.

Or the other person that you're seeking.

And the reason it's not okay is because you may call it love,

But is it really?

Is it really the true love that you can bring to the table when you are fulfilled from within.

And that's why it's so important.

It's not just for us.

It's also the person that we show up for.

It's the purity of love that we bring to our relationships.

So what is this work then?

The work is of inner union.

And this inner union is the union of your masculine and you're feminine.

And these masculine and feminine are just archetypes,

Are just energies.

Everybody has these energies within them.

The problem that most people face is either they go into this.

Understanding that you have to be so masculine and they have this picture of perfect masculine that they need to perform or you need to be this feminine woman while you lose touch with your masculine.

Well,

That's not what we want.

But we also don't want a 50-50 energy within us that we are 50% masculine or 50% feminine.

No,

That's also not the ideal scenario.

The ideal scenario,

In my opinion,

And in my experience,

Is that you are in touch with both energies within you.

That's why I call it inner union.

Both energies have united within you and you have this connection with both these energies and then you can play with those energies.

You can bring out the energy that is needed in the season of your life with the person you are with.

Or whatever situation you're in.

It doesn't matter what your gender is.

You can be in touch with both energies and bring them out as needed.

And that's also when you start feeling fulfilled from within because you don't miss the masculine or you don't miss the feminine because it's within you.

You're in touch with it.

And then in your relationships,

Maybe you want to be more masculine as a man or maybe you want to be more feminine as a woman in your connection with your other partner.

That is completely okay and amazing actually for attraction,

For polarity.

But also maybe then if you have touch with your masculine as a woman,

Then you can create boundaries in life.

You can maybe work on your passion.

Maybe you can have a good support system within you when you have so many emotions.

You see,

You can hold space with your own masculine energy for your emotions.

And those are the things I'm talking about,

That you need this connection with your masculine energy as a woman.

And also for men,

You need to feel that feminine within that is always there to support,

To nurture,

To care,

To love.

And then it can be fueled again to do whatever it wants in life,

To take action,

To have a direction in life,

To lead,

To initiate,

To do whatever you want.

That's all masculine aspects,

Masculine traits,

You can call it.

And therefore,

It's not about this gender or that gender.

It's really about connection with both energies within you.

And then playing with this polarity.

How do you want to play with it?

Because when you feel whole from within,

Then you're free.

You can be masculine,

You can be feminine,

And it's totally up to you.

You are fluid.

You can dance with these polarities.

And I personally love to embody a masculine energy.

Especially with a partner.

But it doesn't mean that I'm not in touch with my feminine energy when I need to nurture myself.

So bottom line is that if you are a woman,

Get in touch with your masculine energy,

Create boundaries,

Create structure so that your feminine can feel safe.

And then yes,

You can also allow a man to make you feel all those things.

But first you need that for yourself,

By yourself.

Same thing with a man.

If you're a man and you're just being this masculine performer,

Get in touch with your feminine energy.

Doesn't mean that you lose in touch with your masculine.

Doesn't mean that you stop being masculine.

No,

Be a masculine embodiment.

But connect with your feminine so that you can connect with your feminine partner if you have one.

Otherwise,

You don't see each other,

You don't understand each other.

And that's the only way to unite.

That's why inner union first,

Inner unification first,

And then the outer unification becomes a mirror,

Becomes a reflection.

It has to happen.

Because when you do this inner work,

What will happen is that you will either realize that your current relationship doesn't reflect that and either you will get out of it or you will work with your partner if they are willing to do the work with you.

You'll work with your partner so it reflects that for you.

Or if you're single,

You will desperately stop looking for relationships and you will just feel fulfilled.

You will just do what you want to do in life and you will be happy.

And then you may attract a perfect partner for you.

I've seen this so many times in my life with myself,

With my clients,

With my friends,

That when they are not desperate about a relationship,

Then it just comes.

And not just any relationship.

Usually a very aligned and beautiful relationship because that is a reflection of your inner work,

Inner union.

One final thing I will say is that the point of all this inner work is not to avoid relationship,

Is not to say that,

Okay,

I don't need a relationship anymore.

No,

In fact,

I encourage you to actually be in relationships because that's where it is practiced.

This union is actually put into action.

This is where reflection will happen.

This is where you will learn a lot,

Grow a lot,

Heal a lot and this is beautiful.

But don't avoid the inner work.

Come from that place of inner union and then yes,

Go ahead and pursue a relationship,

A beautiful aligned partnership.