The Shadow At Every Step: Wake Up Stages Part 3

Every step of consciousness has a gift and a shadow. In this talk I name the shadow at each of the ten steps, from the Hoarder to the Golden Mirror, and show how to tell which one is holding you back.
It finishes with eight simple questions. Notice the one that stings a little. That is probably the step you are working on.
This is the third of three talks on the stages of awakening.

Transcript

Okay so now continuing on with this third part of the awakening map we've worked up the staircase to see all the steps all the way to the top and then we've also looked down the staircase to see how each level rests on a firm foundation of the one beneath it. So now we want to work out how do we make each step stable so that it has a great foundation for the one above it. And by the way, By working on the lower foundations and making them stable, The The level, The step above these foundations will kind of naturally manifest. So we don't have to work really hard. They just seem to evolve once the lower stages are stronger and more stable. So at each step, There's effectively two jobs to do. The first is, Of course, To embody that step. For people at level five that see that we need to make ourselves optimal, They don't yet get that sharing actually helps. Make people feel fulfilled. No, It just sounds like a bit of a way off idea. So we need to step into that level. And that is, Of course, The first step, Which is embody each step all the way up to the top of the staircase. But the second is to see through the shadow. So what I want to talk about is that each step both has great benefits. It has qualities that we definitely need to embody, But those same qualities taken too far become a shadow. And that's what I want to talk about today. The healthy and the shadow face of each of these stages. And to fully inhabit the healthy face is a very positive, Very strong foundation. But also to not have any of the shadow associated with each level is equally important and really actually is where where the work needs to be done. So in a coaching format, If any of you decide to come to me or others to do coaching, It's actually letting go of that shadow, Which is where most of the work actually involves. So let's look at these shadows, Starting off again from level one and working upwards. So I've made names for each of these shadows just to sort of make it a little bit more entertaining and to give you some sort of a visual image or an anchor for each of these shadows. And the first one I call the hoarder. So here, It's really craving in its essence. We want to survive and when we feel like we are not surviving, That's all we think about. And if this is taken too far, We seem to cling to everything and anything around us and don't let anything go, Which is sort of this idea of a hoarder. It can also result in eating too much and just putting on weight because we're so scared that tend to sort of hoard even calories. So again, This shadow is not that common, But I put it here for reference and occasionally you do see it. Now, The second I've called the charm keeper, Because people that have a strong shadow at level two feel very unsafe in the world. They feel the world is a mysterious, Strange place in which they feel endangered, And therefore they stick strongly to their tribe. And they also tend to often be very superstitious. They have lucky charms. To protect them from these external forces. So this is the worry is that somehow you're in this threatening world out there that mysterious forces are going to get you. And even if something bad, Like if someone comes and abuses you or does something horrible, Often there's this tendency to think, Wow, Is it some sort of God that's working through that person? So very much believe in luck and charms and that sort of thing. So that's the shadow of number two. Then moving up to number three, I've called it the porcupine. And these people are the bullies of the world. They're very aggressive. They're taking their spikes and they're hurting each other. But every time they push outwards, There's sort of an equal but opposite spike, You know, Poking into them, Causing them their own pain. And they have very kind of low self-esteem. If anyone tries to negate them in any way they feel incredibly threatened and their only recourse is to use projection and power to try to overcome that perceived threat. So you can see in one sense there's a strong ego in the sense that they want to build themselves up and they'll use even violence to protect that ego but it's still very very fragile because we're just coming out of level two. So that's the shadow of number three. Number four is what I call the judge, Because when we set a whole lot of rules for ourselves, The shadow of that is that we get very worried about people who don't follow the rules, And we also get very anxious about when we don't follow the rules, Or even when we don't measure up. So you know that in many religions there's this idea of sin, And it makes people feel very negative to worry that they are being a sinner. And there's this self-flagellation type of idea that I'm not good enough. So this is the self-critic. You know, A lot of people talk about the self-critic. This is where it lives in four. It's the shadow of order and I call it the judge. Number five, The shadow is the trophy hunter. We want to create ourselves as a more empowered being. And when we do that, We do get a sense of achievement. There's no doubt that we do have this good sense of achievement when we achieve something in the world. And as a result, The shadow then comes and says, Well, You need more of it. So if you earn some money and you felt good about that, You want to earn more money. If you've got some fame, Then you want to have more fame. If you have friends, You want more friends, Like how many friends can I count on social media, For example. So I call this shot of the trophy hunter. Always wanting signs of our success, And yet you can never fill that hollow cabinet inside because it's just unfillable. No matter how many tokens of success that you get, It's never full, And the face is a symbol mirror because you're not interested in how you feel yourself. Your sense of self-esteem is dependent on what you believe the world sees. In you. So if others prop you up then you feel some sense of self-esteem but at the same time there's this sense of hollowness. So that's the shadow of number five. Number six is the people pleaser and as I said many of the people watching this video will be at level six and so a lot of you will resonate to this shadow which is wanting to do good by other people but not knowing when to say no. Always hoping that if you help someone enough, They will be nice to you. And just we end up running ourselves ragged and. . . Burnout is the problem with being a people pleaser. So that's often, Again, We need to step more into our power and say no, But realize we need to step into a state of responsibility and don't chase people to try to help them, But instead just be that safe refuge for people to come if they are interested. And that leads us to level seven, Which has its own shadow. And that shadow is this feeling of kind of stepping back in a sense of superiority So probably best if I give an example here, A lot of people have tried to change their partner over the years. They say something like, You know, When I married him, I tried to change him for the better. And I've been doing that for decades and I've just given up. I've decided he has to learn from his own mistakes and I'm just not even going to bother anymore. Now, That can be very, Very true. If you've ever tried to change someone who doesn't want to change, It's an impossible task. And that's sort of going from level six to realizing that rather than chasing people we need to just step back and be there for them but the shadow is When you sort of take this superior view and realize, You know, Oh, My partner, You know, He's lower than me. He doesn't really know what he's doing, Etc. I'll wait for him to come up to my level type of thing. And that's fine. But if you also withdraw the love and the connection at that stage, That's where you get into the shadow. So there's a little bit of, Well, It's their karma. They have to deal with their karma. Karma, You know, They're not going to learn until they make the mistake. There's truth in that, That's level seven, But there's also you can see how it could be some sort of withdrawal of love. And that is the shadow of number seven, Which leads us when we get over that shadow to number eight. Where we freely give the love, Understanding that sometimes people just need to make the mistakes in order to learn for themselves. But we will not withhold that love anyway. Um and the shadow of number eight is where we're definitely giving that love But it almost becomes overwhelming for us and we feel like we're the melting candle. Because we're giving giving giving and we haven't quite got that connection that uh replenishes that energy. The outflowing of love leaves us feeling depleted because we haven't made quite that connection to the universe. That allows us to replenish that energy. Through a sense of contentment and oneness with the universe, So to speak. Yeah, So there's almost a quiet sense of almost depression or just a little bit of exhaustion there and wondering when is this going to pay off. Because we haven't quite released it, We're still chasing something. But when we can release that shadow, We go into level nine where we do have this connection to an innate sense of energy and rapture that comes through us and we can operate giving love whilst at the same time having this energy flow. And we're pretty much almost there. So level nine is obviously very close to awakening. There's only some very, Very subtle shadows there in the sense that we're still disturbed by the difficulties of life. And we are able to have this bliss, But it's not permanent. It comes and it goes. And sometimes Because we feel at this stage that it's about, You know, Just being with the universe and our energy will help the people around us. Again, There can be this sort of withdrawal. And because you want to stay in that rapturous, Deep connection with the universe, There can be this sense of escapism, Almost. Just withdrawal, Almost, To stay to that place, Because you believe that in that place you're, You know, Close to the divine, That sort of thing. And so the final shadow of number nine really is to integrate that into everyday life so that you can act as normal, But still maintain that energy that comes and that connection to the universe, Which finally leaves us at the final stage of awakening, Stage 10, Which I've called the golden mirror, Where effectively there is no shadow. We finally see our true self. But we also see that our true self is to a large degree an illusion because we are so connected to the universe around us and we can feel that viscerally. That there is no difference between us and the universe. So that's the final step. It's a little bit more intricate when you get here. There are sort of minor steps, But that's a subject for a different day. And essentially here we've awakened the mind. So that's the end of the journey. But the real question, Of course, Is how can we use this? So my goal in presenting this to you is because I believe very very useful for you and the first thing to do if you want to use this is to work out what step you're on so you know what you need to firm up what foundations you need to firm up and where you need to Here are eight questions, One for each step from Belonging to Bliss. Listen to each one and notice which one stings a little bit. That's probably the step you're working on. Okay, So step two, We start with belonging. Have I ever truly chosen my own path? Step 3. Power. Can I want things fully without overpowering others to get them? Step four, Which is order. Am I good because I choose to be or because I'm afraid not to be? Step five, Which is achievement. Am I worthy when I'm not achieving anything? And then step six, Community. Can I stay open-hearted and still take full charge of my life? Step seven, Responsibility. Is there anyone I still secretly blame for how I feel? And then step eight, Love. Where does my love have conditions attached? And then finally, Step nine, Bliss. The question is, Can I bring this bliss into ordinary daily life? If you have a yes to one of these questions, It means that you've embodied that level and you can transfer on or transcend on to the next level. And if you've got a no to any of these questions, Then that's possibly where you're a bit stuck. Now, Obviously, This is only eight questions, So it's very, Very simple. So once you've done this, Then the step is to do something with it. And all I can say here is there are certain foundations that you need But having a supportive group and having a mentor to work with are very very powerful in helping you work through the shadows and transcend from one level to another. So that brings us to the end of the presentation. So thanks for listening and I really hope that this presentation has been useful to you and it helps you in your own path. All the best.