Disentangling Codependency: There's Nothing Wrong With You

Your codependent patterns, behaviors, and tendencies are quite likely to have roots in self-protection. You learned them long ago due to whatever you may have been experiencing as you grew up. Looking outside of yourself may have been necessary or something you were taught to do. Using her colorful circles, Nancy introduces the three areas of influence in your life to consider as you come to understand more about you: Individual, Family, and Broader Worlds. Please note that while this practice is supportive, it is not a replacement for professional mental health care.

Transcript

Hello. I am Nancy Johnston. And welcome to this. Hot. In my disentangling codependency series. The subtitle. Of our talk today is there's nothing wrong with you. So in earlier. Audio and video files, I've talked about how codependency is about having balance of self and other. It's off in the direction of toward other folks. I've also talked about it as having a strong focus outside of self, A dominant external focus, Or being other-centered. Here's what I want to share with you today. When I say there's nothing wrong with you. Even if those are our codependent patterns or behaviors or tendencies, It's quite likely that they started within us a long time ago in self-protective ways. So tonight I'm going to just give you a overview of how I look at those influences that may have your self-other balance. Out of balance. And as we keep talking and I keep sharing things, We'll explore some of these areas. But tonight I have my circles again. And we're actually going to be looking at these three circles. Let's set it up where we're headed. Okay. So we're looking at influences on what has your self-other balance. On what has you so focused on other people. First, We have our nature. Our basic tendencies. Now I was talking with someone recently about codependency and it's not that our basic nature is codependent. But we may have features or characteristics. That are natural to us that encourage this extension of self to others. We may be sensitive, We may be hardworking, We may be organized, We may like to take care of other people. There may be something in our nature. That is contributing to that. But our nature. We grew up within a family system, And that's what this orange ring is here. This could be, This is her family of origin. And remembering that our family of origin was affected by their family of origin as well. And within this ring, We can study, And we will in other videos, This is where attachment styles may come in. Family roles. Individuation. And certainly trauma. Which can have us extremely focused outside of ourselves. And I will say, These bleed into each other. Family is completely influencing the nature of who we are and what characteristics get encouraged or discouraged. But then. . . We, The third layer. Is broader worlds. In which this is culture. Politics, Religion. Schools. These are the social organizations that influence family, That influence nature. And each of us have a different story that's told through these influences on their influences on self development, But specifically through the lens of codependency and as we. Get to know ourselves and know these realms of self, We will understand better. Where we learned so much to focus outside of ourself and likely how it was self-protective. Take good care. Till I see you again.