Self-Recovery Practice: Rattled

When we are caught in our fears of being abandoned by someone else, that is the very time to not abandon ourselves. As we are drawn away from ourselves by our insecurities and fears, that is the very time to use mindfulness practices to pause, connect with body and breath, and reconnect with ourselves, even if it feels thin and momentary. The more we practice, the more we are able to settle back into our self and gain calmness and clarity and feel our own loving support.

Transcript

Rattled. Four days later. My nervous system is still rattled. It's quieter. I sleep. OK. But I can feel edges of agitation, Anticipation of trouble, Problems. Some worry. So once again, It's important to bring our practice. Into our life. I'll try to speak about it in terms of codependency a little bit. And then we're just going to pause. And connect with body and breath once again. Us codependents, Or us folks with those tendencies, Dynamics, Features, Whatever the word is, It feels comfortable for you. We don't. Conflict is often very difficult for us. I didn't learn how to resolve conflict growing up. It was a one. One up and one down system I grew up in. It was just, There was no place for learning to healthily go back and forth. And built into all of that. Can be heard. Insecure attachments and so conflict for those of us who have an insecure anxious attachment style. Abandonment fears come up. So how can I not abandon myself? In these more difficult times. That's our mission. This is especially an important time to not. Be abandoning me. So I'm once again seated outside. Where my writing studio is. And it's silent. And I'm looking up at the Blue Ridge Mountains. Clouds, Clear of the clouds, But the clouds are behind them. It's moving into dusk. And it's time to just pause. And reconnect with me. And not abandon me to my fears. And do what I need from someone else who cannot give it to me. So sit. Pause, Stand. For your hands. See what it feels like. To simply be still for a moment. You're able to be still, That's okay. Mindfulness. Is not about achieving. Some sublime state. It is about cultivating within us the ability to tune into ourself. And it is that ability to attune to self. That is what our self-recovery is about. So we're just being still. And just see if you can notice. Your chest rise and fall with your breath. It may not be a big movement. See if you can notice your diaphragm. Expand and Release, Contract. As you breathe here and now. And always working on our focus. If thoughts are coming through. That thought train. It's normal. Simply notice the thoughts as they go through. And then return to your awareness. Of, Here now, Your breath. It can be at your nostrils and mouth. It can be at your chest. It can be at your diaphragm. So that's. . . Aeropath. For tonight, For this evening. As we sit in stillness here. Following our breath, However it might be. Noticing when thoughts come. Noticing them but not joining them. And returning to your breath. And now as we come out of this practice. This practice tonight's still really dedicated to being rattled, Dedicated to what it takes to settle ourself enough to pause and connect with body and breath. Allow yourself to come back into your space, Noticing either sounds. Or sites. Something you see. Smells. Taste. Or touch. It's good. To know we can count on ourselves. And not abandon ourselves. When our deepest fears are that we are in fact being abandoned. By someone else. I wish you a good evening.