Leading Yourself In Crazy Times

Times are getting crazy it is hard to lead ourselves but Corona was not the first thing to make our times crazy - we were already in it for a long time. And because of that, we need to keep running instead of pausing and taking back our power or connecting deeper to what is actually meaningful for us. In this episode, I will talk about how to deal with anxiety, fear, stress and all those external things and how to lead ourselves in a way that brings us back to who we are and how we want to show up.

Transcript

Hi everyone.

Since we're all sitting there,

Being a bit more isolated,

Having a bit more time,

I thought it's time for another podcast session.

And what I want to talk about is the part that is actually affecting us to follow our passion and purpose,

Which is when we get distracted.

And I feel like this time right now is a really interesting time when it comes to that in so many ways.

So on the one hand,

It's a crazy time,

Like having a pandemic going around the world,

No one knowing how it's gonna progress is kind of a fucking scary thing.

So it's not just something we're like,

You know,

But it really affects our day to day life.

So in many countries,

Everything has shut down or will shut down soon.

And what I want to talk about is that on the one hand,

There's a lot of outside stuff going on and how this affects our inside world,

How it affects us.

So if I just like look into my inside world,

What I can feel right now is I can feel the anxiety,

Like I can feel my own anxiety.

I can feel how a part of me doesn't feel as safe.

And I'm checking in.

And I think what I see when I look into my fears,

I'm not only like,

I feel like I'm not so much afraid of getting the disease,

But of the consequences.

What if it's going to be in a big hospital and it's full with people and people are just panicking and,

You know,

That kind of scenarios that play into my system.

And the other part of it is,

Which I think is very underestimated or underrated is the empathy that we all feel like the empathy towards everyone around us,

Because we can sense the overall mood of let's say our country,

Our city,

Our world.

And so even if we don't have so much anxiety inside of us,

There's a part of us that tracks the overall anxiety.

One example for me is like,

I just have to go on Facebook and I see so many posts around Corona.

And so even if I want to shut it down and not think about it so much,

The world is,

You know,

Thinking about it a lot and talking about it a lot.

I don't want to even judge any of that.

I'm just saying that's happening right now.

And what it does with our internal landscape is that we track that.

We track the anxiety that is around us.

We track what people are doing,

What people are not doing.

There's different initiatives of hashtag stay the fuck home and people who are like,

Oh,

You're worrying too much and it's okay.

And people who say,

Oh,

It's just your belief and you just have to think positive.

And people were saying,

This is awful.

We have to do something.

So all these like different ways of thinking.

And what's interesting for me is also to look into,

We are in this crazy world already.

We have been there before this virus where we're living in a world with so much information around everything and so much discrepancy between what are we going to do?

Are we doing this or this?

What is right?

What is wrong?

And I feel that's really out there in the world right now.

And I feel that's there in the workplace and that's there in our private lives to know what's the right decision for each and every one of us.

And yeah,

So for me,

Coming back again to what I want to talk about in this podcast in general,

But also today is how in this crazy times can we all find our own balance again,

Find our peace and also get back into our power,

Not being driven by everything that's happening outside.

Because the reality shows that most likely we will have things like that happening much more regular.

When you look at prognosis,

People say it's going to keep getting crazy and staying crazy in one way or the other.

It could be environment,

It could be a disease,

It could be economic crisis,

Whatever.

And so I don't want to create fear,

But I just want to talk about what can we do in times of fear.

And so what I've learned about fear is staying optimistic and positive is not enough,

Which means if there is fear,

A part of us wants to be seen with this fear.

So being really honest with our fear and in going there,

Like sitting with it.

So sitting in meditation,

Just in silence,

Allowing that fear to be here.

Because if we go to being super positive right away,

What's going to happen is we're suppressing the fear.

It's still there underlying and what it does,

What any kind of emotion that is very strong and we suppress it does,

It just changes our actions subconsciously.

We are not aware of it,

But it's still there.

It influences us.

So in order for us,

So the question is what can we do in crazy times to lead ourselves,

To stay in our center?

And one of the things is,

One step is to really allow whatever uncomfortable feeling is there right now,

Whatever we feel about the situation to be there.

And I'm not talking about wallowing in the feelings and being in constant anxiety.

I'm actually talking about taking the step back and feeling it.

And later on we will do an exercise and a practice around it,

But just like feeling it and allowing it to be there.

Allowing it to be there,

Not having a judgment around,

Oh,

I'm not supposed to feel fear right now.

I'm supposed to have it all together or think positive.

Why better to say,

Oh,

This is here,

And allowing it to be there and maybe really set a time in the day when we just sit with our fear for 28 minutes.

Just sitting with it and feeling how it feels in our body,

Noticing what it does in our mind,

What kind of thoughts are our fear thoughts,

And just becoming super familiar with it.

Because what it does is,

First of all,

If we become very familiar with our fear,

Then it cannot just take over and take over our reaction.

So that's the number one plus point of that.

The other part of it is,

So our natural reaction when we are in fear,

Especially when it's fear that is somehow connected with fear of survival,

We're going into this fight-flight mode,

Which means our actions are very driven for that.

Even if the threat is not immediately in our space or in our room,

We feel threatened.

What that does is,

First of all,

We're acting in a way that is not aligned with who we really want to be in life.

The other part of it is that this fight-flight fear mode is also stressing our body out.

One of the things that happens when we are in fight-flight mode is the body gets the signal to run.

So what we need in a moment when our body thinks it has to run,

All the energy goes into our extremities,

Like in our legs,

In our hands,

Because we have to run,

We have to act,

Right?

Which means our organs and our intestines and all those areas in the center of our body do not get the same amount of nutrients and energy because our body has the signal,

No,

I need to run.

So it feeds those areas that are able to fight back or to run.

So that just as an idea and also understanding of how far it can go when we're in this fight-flight mode.

And I'm not an expert in all these details,

But I've learned a lot from experts who are talking about the fight-flight mode.

And I find it very interesting how the fight-flight mode literally shuts down not only body parts that are not important in that moment,

But also how it controls a different part of our brain.

And so our reptilian brain becomes more active and we're driven by the reptilian brain and our thinking brain shuts down in a way that it cannot regulate our thoughts anymore in the same way,

Right?

So we would think we are in such more danger than we actually are.

And so a part of staying in our self-leadership in these times is to get familiar with these strong reactions with our fight-flight mode.

And instead of running away from it,

Instead of keeping us super busy so we don't have to go there and we don't have to feel it,

Stepping back,

Sitting with it and allowing it to be there.

So that's one part.

And the other part that is really important for our self-leadership is if you haven't done it yet,

To become familiar again with what is really meaningful and important for you in life.

And I think this time that slows everything down right now is a great time to connect again with what are my values,

What is deeply meaningful for me,

How do I want to show up in this life?

And really concentrating on what is my contribution in this world and what do I really want to be here for,

Right?

And what it does when we are more aware of what's really important for us is that when the fight-flight kicks in or anxiety or things are getting even crazier,

That we don't lose sight of what's really important to us.

That's why it's really important to take time for that as well every day to remember,

Oh that is really important for me.

For example,

If I remember myself,

Like one of the things that I want to remember is to be of service and to support other people and to support them to step into their power,

Right?

So that's kind of one of the things that I really deeply care for.

But what it means if I remember myself,

Oh that's actually what I want,

I know,

Oh I have to step into my own power.

Which means right now I'm going back and back again to empower myself.

And I know if I'm going into,

Oh I'm just like only watching one series after the other and just letting myself go,

That's not me stepping into my power.

I know that I need to be active even in a time where I'm isolating,

Which means I'm doing my practice every morning.

I'm doing meditation,

I'm doing yoga,

I'm doing exercises,

I'm getting my blood flow,

I go for walks.

And I remember myself,

What kind of person I want to be,

So maybe I call a friend and ask them if they need a support or I just offer support wherever I see it.

And what that does is even in a crisis situation I don't allow the surroundings and the circumstances to judge and to choose how I am going to show up in life and how I am putting my life together.

And you might think,

Oh that sounds so easy,

It's actually not.

And if you think,

Oh she talks like she has it all together,

No I'm not,

I don't have it all together.

But actually the first days when all the shutdowns came I went into a hole and I was really affected by the situation,

By my own internal anxiety,

But also by noticing the anxiety that's around me and in our world right now and by reading all the articles about how people react.

And what it did is it made me very focused on,

Oh my god this is so serious and it made me also almost like freezing.

I felt frozen,

I felt like frozen and stiff and not really able to see beyond that.

And I also felt my focus,

My thinking focus narrowing down a lot.

And to reclaim my power is to go back and back again and I have to actually do this every day,

Maybe multiple times every day to say I'm not going to shut down myself right now,

I'm not going to just try to survive the next day,

But I'm going to do everything right now that keeps me strong and inspired.

I'm going to read books,

I'm going to do my practices,

I'm going to take care of a healthy nutritious diet.

I started doing intermediate fasting just to really keep my body healthy in this time,

No matter what,

Like if the disease is coming or not,

But just keep on investing in myself and the kind of person I want to be.

And when it comes to finding our passion and purpose,

My understanding of it is that it is a choice that we don't just make one time and then we're like,

Oh that's my passion and my purpose and that's it.

But it's really a choice that we have to do and make sometimes,

Multiple times on a day to re-remember us.

And that's why actually taking a lot of time to discover this for a while will then lead us back to this much faster.

So this becomes our red line in life,

Like our inner compass.

And I can notice that I can go back to that much faster and much easier than I used to before because it's already in the back of my mind,

Because I'm connecting to it on a daily base.

In times when things are getting crazy,

I think it's even more important to re-remember what's important for us,

What kind of person we want to be,

How we want to show up,

Not only for ourselves but also for others to just not forget about that.

And that's an interesting thing.

So when we do that,

We get inspired and instead of our thoughts getting very narrowed down to oh,

What's the next thing happen around the virus or the pandemic,

We start to see much more.

Yeah,

We start to see other information,

We start to get inspired,

We start to see chances of what's happening right now.

Because what's happening right now is also a chance to re-reflect what's really important in our lives and to go back into who do I actually want to be,

But also what kind of world do we all together want to create.

And I think that's a really important one.

Slowing down might give us the chance to see beyond.

I read an article that was really interesting.

So in China where they shut down things,

What happened is actually the air cleared and people started instead of seeing the fog from the pollution and the traffic,

They actually started to see the bright sky again for the first time in a long time.

I mean I love that picture,

You know.

And maybe the slowing down will help us to preserve our environment,

Maybe the slowing down will help us to question what we're doing right now in our own lives,

But also as a society and as organizations,

As companies.

And that makes me also feel very spacious and very excited about this time.

And what also happens is through the practice,

I'm getting more curious again,

Like oh wow,

Instead of seeing the unknown that is out there right now as a threat,

I can shift and see,

Wow,

It's so exciting,

I don't know what's gonna happen and I can't plan accordingly.

Wow,

That's like I'm curious about the world that is gonna come that no one of us can predict right now.

And it also feels like all of a sudden so much is possible because almost the rules have changed,

So there's an openness for being curious about things.

And there's an openness towards like oh,

If there's no rule,

We can reinvent things,

We can just take a blank sheet of paper and say what's the reinvention?

And that's what we can do for ourselves but also for each other.

And that's what I find very interesting.

And when it comes to stepping into our power,

There's another aspect which is,

Or leading ourselves is like also leading our own energy.

And what I mean with that is how is our energy level?

Am I really down with energy?

And if that's the case,

Yeah,

To do practices that help us elevate our energy again.

And one of the best things you can actually do to elevate your own energy is to do gratitude practice.

Many people are making gratitude journals,

Which is a really nice way.

And so my experience is what's more effective is really closing the eyes and allowing to feel the gratitude for those things that we're really grateful in life.

Because the more we feel it in our bodies,

The more real it is for us and the more it elevates our actual energy in the body.

And what is also very interesting is to see,

Wait a second,

Even if things are happening that are upsetting,

I always have the choice how kind of energy I have and what kind of reaction I have to it.

And I know it sounds like,

Yeah,

That sounds easy,

But it's not.

But yeah,

The thing is there's something about helplessness that makes us concentrate on all those things that we are not able to control.

No one of us is able to control the situation right now.

So instead of looking at all those things that are not working,

And yeah,

I keep on doing that decision again and again for myself is,

Okay,

You know what,

I'm just going to focus on the one thing that I can influence right now,

Which is me,

My own reaction,

My own energy.

And I can choose how I react,

No matter what the circumstances are.

And I can take back my power,

I can reclaim my power to keep myself healthy and in high energy and strong.

And again,

I'm saying this and it sounds maybe,

Yeah,

Just do it.

But I know how hard it is because I'm falling down again and again.

Like there's multiple times a day when I'm like,

Oh shit,

I cannot hold it anymore.

And then I just,

You know,

Like go off that and then I fall into this hole and it's dark and it's not funny and I feel frustrated.

And then I take another decision saying,

Wow,

I'm going to reclaim my power again.

I'm inspired by that and I am inspired by the picture that when I,

You know,

Just go into my own vision of how I want all of us to react in these times,

I want all of us to step into our power.

And together when we are all doing that,

I just know where we're going to redefine what's going to happen.

We're going to actively create a different outcome that no one knows right now.

But think of that and that inspires me as a vision.

What if against all the odds and all the,

Yeah,

Prognosis of how it's going to show up,

What if this is becoming the most inspiring time of our life?

This is the time when we're really stepping up and supporting each other in a way that has never been seen before,

In a way that could be an inspiration for the young people and the generations to come.

So you see,

I'm philosophy and I'm hoping this was useful for you and that you took something out of it for you wherever you are,

Whatever you're doing.

I'm hoping you're safe and that you find your way back into your power and who you want to be.

See you soon.

And as the last part of this episode,

I would like to do a practice with you.

And that practice is really about everything that I spoke about,

That practice you can use to sit with all your emotions and find a way to,

In that process,

To reconnect with what's important for you.

So stay tuned for the practice.

Find a place to sit where you are feeling comfortable.

One of your favorite places at home,

Maybe next to your favorite window or on a chair.

Now close your eyes and start taking three deep breaths.

Deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth.

Deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth.

As you're sitting here right now,

Allow all the feelings and emotions that are present for you to show themselves.

And maybe it's hard for you to pin them down,

But just notice how does your body feel?

Especially the parts between your chest and your belly.

Is there maybe certain fear or anxiety?

Slight anxiousness?

Maybe a slight holding?

Part of you wants to keep track of things.

Just notice all of those emotions in your body and give permission for all of them to be here.

If you want to go further,

You can just,

You know,

Tell them I'm giving you a loving space to show yourself right now.

You're all welcome.

Without so much thinking,

Just like feeling and sensing,

Notice where in your body this emotion is reacting.

Maybe a part is tensing up.

Maybe your breath is not as deep in some areas.

Maybe it's just a light pinching.

Become very curious about the body sensations around that emotion and allow them to be here.

Allow all of them to be here with you right now.

Nothing to change.

Nothing to do.

You're just holding a loving space for all these emotions to be there.

You can tell them it's okay that you're here.

Feels uncomfortable.

And I'm allowing you to be here with me right now.

Whenever you get distracted,

Just come back to noticing your body sensations and emotions.

Keep holding that loving space that welcomes all of them.

That space that is curious.

You're like,

Oh,

This is here too,

Interesting.

Be curious around the information that these emotions give you.

And now let's go a step further.

I'm gonna say sentences and you're just gonna finish them for yourselves.

What I'm feeling right now is if those body parts that are most active right now would have a voice,

They would say.

Also say,

Noticing all of this makes me feel.

And what also comes up for me right now is the part of me that doesn't want those feelings to be here right now is saying.

And what this part of me wants me to do is.

And if I deeply connect right now to the kind of person I want to be,

What I want to do from now on is.

The thing I want to do to keep myself empowered is.

And what I also want to do is.

The values that I want to bring into my life and into this situations are.

And if I would look back to that time,

What I would want to say about my own reaction is.

See,

Feel and hear all of this right now.

And stepping into my power for me means.

And what I need to connect more to that is.

And how I'm feeling right now is.

What I notice in my body right now is.

Now let go of any tension to anything and just allow yourself to sit.

Bring your tension to your breath.

Let your breath become deeper.

Now,

Take one more deep inhale and a slow,

Long exhale.

And open your eyes.

So this practice you can actually do every day.

You can also just divide the practice.

Just sit only with your emotions for 28 minutes and just allowing this loving,

Curious space to be there.

And then you can use those questions or come up with your own questions to dive deeper into what's important for you.

If you want to,

You can now take some time to write down what came up for you or just to tell it to another person.

Or take some post-its and write down the most important things you want to remember about this so you see it every day and you mind yourself every day what's meaningful for you and how you step into your own self-leadership and power.

Thank you so much and hear you soon.