Let's close our eyes.
Many times,
What stops us from being happy,
From taking that first step towards what our hearts want,
Is courage or the lack thereof.
We feel like our feet are caught up in mud,
Thick mud,
Debilitating us from moving ahead.
We may call it being in a rut,
Being stuck.
But we have all experienced that feeling where we can't move ahead,
But neither can we stay still.
Our heart is on fire to move ahead,
But our beliefs and our body is stuck here in this prison,
Apparent prison.
And the worst part about this situation is the longer you stay here,
The more familiar it starts becoming.
The fire in the heart starts diminishing and the resistance in the body starts amplifying.
I remember years ago,
Getting out of my apartment was extremely difficult for me.
Even cooking for myself was not something I was looking forward to.
And the food that I ate,
I knew deep down it's not good for me.
But that resistance in the body to do anything was so debilitating.
I would have convinced,
I could have convinced anyone about the debilitating state of my life.
It's not that I wasn't intelligent to know what is good,
What is not good.
It's just that I was too scared.
I lacked the courage to take the first step.
And that first step is always,
Always the hardest step.
And this is more of a problem for intellectuals like me,
Who need to know,
Who need to see how things are going to turn out before action can begin.
And this is a loud example that I'm giving about myself.
But in practice,
In everyday life,
We do experience this in a low amplitude,
Where it's not so loud.
It's not so obvious either.
But that feeling of being stuck,
It's like a thorn in our hearts,
Maybe stuck on a particular task,
A particular kind of work,
In some relationships,
In some situations,
Whatever that situation or condition might be.
We know that feeling.
And because it is not so loud,
It's very easy to numb it at times,
Using busyness,
Some sophisticated thinking,
Or just not being ready to even let it bubble up to the surface.
Very rarely we make it a courage problem.
Most of the times it is a strategy problem,
Someone else's problem,
Not enough time problem,
God's problem,
Nature's problem,
Etc.
Capability problem,
Skill set problem,
Not enough opportunities problem.
Most of the times it's a courage problem.
I have been noticing this in myself as well.
So a couple of months ago,
Less than a couple of months ago,
I decided to do cold dips,
Deliberately expose myself to cold water,
Even getting into 65 degree water,
65 degree Fahrenheit water.
I was dreading it for the first few weeks,
Every morning I was dreading it.
But a funny thing was happening within 30 seconds or so after getting in the water.
It was easy,
But getting in always felt like an uphill battle.
Then once I exposed myself to 40 degree water,
Just for a few seconds,
It felt like all those icicles inside the water were piercing through my skin.
I just rushed out.
But a funny thing happened the following morning,
The perspective of getting into 65 degree water was not so dreadful.
It was easier option.
So getting in was just no willpower needed.
And the more I realized why I was coming out of 40 degree water,
The more I studied my behavior,
The impulse to run away from difficult things,
The more I could summon courage and be there.
Like this morning,
I was in 40 degree water for almost two,
Three minutes,
Not that it wasn't stinging,
But I was at peace.
And then at today's workout that I was doing online,
I heard my trainer say,
You should do something impossible every single day,
Just to change the definition of what that word impossible means.
And the more you do this,
Quote unquote,
Impossible,
Challenging,
It transfers to other places in your life.
Nothing I do in my day is going to come remotely close to getting in a tub with water filled at 40 degrees or 35 degrees.
And again,
I'm not encouraging anyone to do it.
I'm just sharing my experience,
How I'm trying to understand courage or lack thereof in my life,
And how the burning desire in my heart to do something despite it debilitating me is operating.
I started reading a book last night and couldn't stop almost halfway through.
It's called The Courage to be Disliked.
It's actually a book on clarity and courage,
Clarity to see how we operate in life,
And to nudge it in a direction that our hearts want to go and overcome the resistance by our courage.
But one thing is for sure,
It feels debilitating,
But there's no proof that it debilitates us.
The imagery I'm thinking of right now is an elephant tied to a post.
It tries to escape,
But it's so well tied to the post,
Dug so well in the ground,
That it just doesn't move.
It cannot break it.
It cannot escape.
After a few days,
If you replace the post with a plastic chair,
The elephant doesn't try.
It doesn't even try to move.
It's already resigned.
What gets registered in our mind through our senses is also numbed out because of our lack of courage decisions.
But one thing we do have to guide us is that feeling in our hearts,
That feeling of expanding,
Breaking free,
And knowing that we can,
If only we took the first step.
More than physical pain,
We are afraid of the mental pain,
Psychological pain,
But we can investigate where is this mental pain happening?
What's going to happen if I do this?
Where is it going to hurt?
And juxtapose that with the pain that emanates from a toothache.
Those who have had toothache can vouch for it.
Nothing comes close to that pain.
And this bondage of psychological pain can only be overcome by courage.
It can also teach us to be vulnerable.
We can reach out to someone who is good at whatever we want to do and be honest,
Be vulnerable by telling them,
I'm too scared to do this.
Can you help me?
It is orders of magnitude easier to do it with someone else.
The friendship takes us over more than courage.
There are multiple ways of summoning courage.
Doing it alone is masochistic.
Not that it can't be done.
What can't be done is just being stuck.
That's more painful.
Courage is a practice.
When we add targets to our year,
Professional or personal,
We can add a target to be courageous every day in whatever shape,
Way or form,
No matter how big or small.
To practice courage.
Courage of going first.
Courage of going last.
Courage of speaking the truth.
Courage of being kind.
Courage of being clear.
Being honest.
Courage of doing the research,
Putting down the money or the time.
Courage to take time off.
Courage to take care of ourselves.
Courage to be happy.
Courage to hug someone,
Laugh with someone.
Courage to care,
Even though it's not your job to do it.
Thank you.
