Give Yourself What You Need

This is a recording of a live online breathwork session from Room to Breathe, exploring the theme of giving yourself what you really need. So often we're fluent in the things we want, such as relief, change, answers, but something quieter lives beneath that: an honest recognition of what we actually need, right now. This session uses conscious connected breathwork to take you beneath the noise and into the body, where that answer is already waiting. You don't need to figure anything out. Just breathe, listen and let yourself receive.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to today's session. It's lovely to have you all here. I'm just going to go through the format of the session before we get started just so you know what to expect and if you've been to one of these before it's pretty much the same. So I'll go through the theme of the session and the theme isn't to force you into an experience but it's just a gentle invitation really for you to perhaps be open to certain ways of thinking, Certain suggestions that may arise whilst we're doing the breath work. Once we've done that the breath work is going to start and we will take about 10 minutes to just go into a deeper state of relaxation. We're really going to allow ourselves to take time to let go of any of the worries, The stresses of the day, To really relax our bodies, To become aware of our bodies and just to explore that a little bit. During that time we'll do something called coherence breathing which is a slow type of breath where the inhale and the exhale are the same length without a pause in between and that's basically for those of you who do the live sessions on Instagram, That's the gong breathing that we do every day. Once we've done that we're nice and relaxed, We're registering and focusing on our breath, We'll go into something I call wave breathing which is a type of conscious connected breath. So some of you will have done conscious connected breath work before, I know most of you have actually, But the way we're going to be doing it today is through the nose, Not through an open mouth. We're going to be breathing deep into our lungs so you feel the movement at the in your stomach as well as you pull the air down deep into your lungs and then you slowly continue to feel your lungs and you'll feel that movement go from your stomach, Your ribs, Your chest and even up into your neck. Now you might not feel it but just know that that's happening, Having awareness of that breath, A wave of breath rising up your body all the way to the top and once you're full just letting go on the exhale also through your nose. So we're not going to pause at the top or the bottom of the breath and we're also not going to force the exhale. The exhale is just going to happen of its own volition, The only thing that we need to do actively is the inhale and then we just explore how the breath wants to leave our body. We're going to do that for a period of time and then for the last three minutes or so of that section I'm going to invite you to do that same breath but through an open mouth but that's just an invitation. The whole purpose of this breath work is to identify what we need so if your body is like I don't really want to breathe through my mouth then absolutely don't breathe through your mouth just breathe through your nose and in fact if you feel cool to breathe a different way at all during this session that's okay as well but the invitation is to experiment a little bit. After we've done two or three minutes of that type of open mouth breathing I'm going to invite you to do a breath hold. So a breath hold is after an exhale when your lungs are empty so before you fill again with an inhale just hold in your breath for as long as is comfortable. That may be five seconds it may be 35 seconds and the point isn't to do a long hold the point is to just explore what happens and as soon as you start to feel like oh I need to breathe then take a deep breath in hold at the top for two or three seconds and then let go. Now this is a lot to remember but I will be reminding you the whole way through so don't think you've got to do this on your own but you absolutely haven't. So today's theme is about understanding what our needs are. We're very good or at least we think we're very good at understanding what it is we want in life. We want connections, Friendships, Comfort, We want a nice holiday, We want something nice to eat, We want love in our life and if we ever struggle to know what we want there's no shortage of people outside of us who are there to tell us what it is we want mainly because they're trying to sell us something. But how often do we think about what it is we actually need? Many of us are taught from a young age that our needs aren't that important and that the needs of others should be our priority and so we start to belittle our own needs. We start to push them down to the point where sometimes we don't even recognize what our needs are. Yeah we know the big needs like we need to eat, We need to be hydrated but it's really easy to become disconnected to what it is we actually need in order to not just survive life but to thrive. So we're going to be exploring that today and all I'm going to do is give a little prompt throughout the breath work just to let that settle with your subconscious and see if anything comes up. You may answer the questions that I ask, You may not and both is absolutely right. So we're going to get started now so find yourself a comfortable position if you haven't already. We're going to start as we always start these sessions by doing three lung stretch breaths. So we're going to do these through the nose so take in, We're going to take a deep breath in, In three, Two, One. Breathing in, Fill in the lungs as much as you can and at the top hold and take a sip more air and hold and then slowly release through the mouth. Just noticing if that breath has had any impact on you at all and let's take another deep breath breathing in, Fill in the lungs as much as you can and at the top hold and take a sip more air and hold and slowly release. Very controlled, No rush. Noticing if that breath has had any impact on your mind and let's take a third and final one breathing in through the nose, Breathing deeply and at the top hold take a sip more and hold and slowly release. Allowing your body and mind to completely relax. Let's start to check in with how our body feels in this moment. Noticing the hair on your head touching the skin of your scalp. What does it feel like to allow your scalp to relax? Allowing the muscles of your forehead to let go. Allowing the muscles around your eyes and your cheeks softening. Notice if your tongue is relaxed and what would it feel like for it to be relaxed? Allowing your jaw to soften. Noticing the muscles of your neck. Are they comfortable? How can you make them even more comfortable? Allowing your shoulders to start to melt. Your arms to become heavier. Notice if you're controlling the position of your hands and your fingers. What does it feel like to just allow your hands to be where they need to be? Bring in your awareness now to the movement of your chest. As you breathe with each exhale allowing yourself to relax further. Noticing the beat of your heart inside your ribs. Are your stomach muscles relaxed? How can you relax them further? Being aware of the organs within your abdomen, Your stomach, Your intestines, Your kidneys, Liver. And just setting the intention to allow them to relax as well. Trusting that they know what it is they need to do. And we don't need to control them at all. Are the muscles of your back relaxed? How can you relax them further? Allowing your pelvis, Your hips to gently almost melt. Feeling the weight of your legs. Just letting them be where they need to be. You don't need to hold them in any position. Just let them relax. Are you controlling their position? Can you trust them to be where they need to be? Without you forcing. And maybe as we've worked down the body some tension or tightness has returned to your face, Your shoulders, Your hand. It's okay if it has. But trust your body. As we focus on our breath. Are you trusting that your breath knows how to breathe in this moment? And allowing it to happen or is there some element of control? Maybe you have judgements about the way you're breathing. Just notice them as well. And we can let go of all of that now. Because we're going to start taking the coherence breaths. We're going to start to breathe on an inhale together. In three, One. Inhale. Two. Three. But also know that they don't need to stay in your mind. You don't need to be distracted. And you can bring your awareness back to your breath. And just sit in with the question. What have you been giving to everyone else? That you haven't been giving to yourself. And with the change of music, I'm going to invite you to start taking the wave breath. So breathing through the nose. Breathing deep into your stomach. Slowly fill in all the way to the top. And as soon as you're full, Just release. You don't need to force or push. Trust the exhale knows what it needs. And as soon as your lungs are empty. There's no pause. Breathe in again. Deep in the stomach. Feeling the wave of breath rising up your body. Before once again letting go. There's no need to rush. Trust the slowness of your inhale. Just notice in the question. What would it feel like to meet yourself with the same kindness and compassion that you offer to other people? There's no need to search for an answer. Just keep breathing. Deep into your stomach. Keeping your awareness on your breath. As you pull that wave up your body. Before letting go. Seeing how slowly you can inhale. Noticing if there's someone somewhere in your body that's holding on. What does that part of your body need right now? Let your breath do the work. You don't have to do anything more. And just receive. Before letting go. If you weren't busy telling people that you were okay. What would be true right now? And as the music starts to change. The invitation. Is to start to do the same breath. But now through an open mouth. But notice if that's what you don't need. And you can stay with your mouth closed. But still breathing deeply. Pulling the air deep into your lungs. Before just letting go. Now you may notice. That you automatically start to breathe faster. But also play with breathing. Just as slowly as you were breathing before. What needs to be heard? Pulling the air deep into your lungs. Filling your lungs. As soon as they're full. Just releasing the exhale. And trusting it knows what it needs to do. In about 30 seconds we're going to do our breath hold. But for now keep breathing. And after your next exhale when your lungs are empty. Hold your breath. Knowing you can breathe whenever you need to. Just letting go. And if you're ready you can take a deep breath in now. And at the top hold for a couple of seconds. Before releasing. And allowing yourself to breathe however feels comfortable. What needs to be felt in this space? What needs to be acknowledged? To be seen? Something in you has been waiting to be heard. And it may not be big or loud but it needs space. Maybe give it that space now. Maybe there's something you need to put down. That you've been carrying for a long time. And maybe there's something new. That you need to pick up. As this period of silence comes to an end. Allowing yourself to remember what it is that needs to be remembered. What is it you want to bring with you as you step out of this session? Maybe it's a small change that's needed. Just being aware. So it's time to start our journey back. You may want to start just by moving the muscles of your face. Maybe scrunching your face up. Maybe giving yourself a big smile. Gently moving your hands and feet. Maybe stretching your arms. I don't need to list body parts. You know your body better than me. You know what you need to do to start coming back. So gently just allow yourself that movement. Whether it's a stretch or a bend or a roll. Maybe it's to stay where you are. But slowly bringing yourself back. And when you're ready. You don't have to yet. Opening your eyes. And remember that sometimes in these sessions we can go quite deep. And that's a lot of energy that is being worked with. So give yourself a few minutes after this session just to come to fully. Maybe have something to drink. Something to eat. Maybe go and stand outside in the fresh air for a little bit. And if anything did come to you that you want to remember. It's a really good idea to perhaps write that down in a journal. A diary or maybe even a note on your phone. Just so that you can remember and be reminded of these things. Because as day to day life happens it's easy to forget. But thank you very much for being part of today's session. It's been a pleasure to have you here.