The following meditation is a self-compassion meditation based on the work of Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer.
Self-compassion,
As described and defined by Kristin Neff,
Has three parts.
The first is recognizing a moment of suffering,
And that's using mindfulness.
The second is knowing that suffering is a part of human life,
And that's recognizing our common humanity.
And the third is being kind to yourself,
And that's the compassion part of the practice.
In a moment,
We will start the meditation.
It's important to remember that as we work on self-compassion,
We start small,
With small incidences,
Small memories,
Small hurts.
And just as we exercise our muscles to get them stronger,
Taking these small steps and taking them often will help us be more resilient and offer ourselves more compassion when larger issues come up.
As we begin this meditation,
I'll offer you suggestions if at any time the words don't land well on you,
Or you find yourself in greater pain,
Then that's often a good time to listen to your wisdom and stop,
And then maybe come back at a different time,
Remembering that you are in control of your experience.
So find yourself in a comfortable position.
You can choose to sit or lie down or stand,
Whatever body position is accessible to you.
And then just for a moment,
Settle the body.
You might quickly scan from your head to your neck and shoulders,
To the strong back and the soft front of your body,
To where you connect with the earth,
To your legs and feet.
And just remind yourself that you're here and now.
Now try recalling a situation from yesterday or today or in the last week or so that's caused you some stress.
On a scale of one to ten,
This is down in the two or three range.
See if you can call to mind what was said or what happened.
And as you do,
As that becomes clearer in your mind,
See if you can actually feel the stress or the emotional discomfort in your body.
See if you can identify where that sensation resides.
Did your jaw tighten?
Did your throat get tighter?
Is there tension in your shoulders?
Or did your stomach grip?
Just be aware of where those feelings reside.
And now say to yourself,
This is a moment of suffering.
We're being mindful that at the moment we're experiencing suffering.
Or you might say,
Ouch,
This hurts.
Or this is stress.
And just by identifying it,
See if it creates some room around it,
A little more space.
Next,
Say to yourself,
Suffering is a part of life.
Or other people feel this way sometimes too.
Or we all struggle in our lives.
Or I'm not the only one who suffers with this.
And you might choose to put a hand over your heart.
And feel the warmth of your hand and your gentle touch.
You could choose to touch your face or your brow.
You can hold one hand in the other.
Whatever soothing touch feels right to you.
And say to yourself,
May I be kind to myself?
Or you might ask yourself,
What do I need right now?
What do I need to hear right now that expresses kindness to myself?
The same way a loving friend would care for you.
And it could be a phrase like,
May I give myself the compassion I need?
May I learn to accept myself just as I am?
May I forgive myself?
May I be strong?
May I be patient?
And take some time just to be gentle with yourself.
To care for yourself as you would a beloved or a close friend of your heart or a young child.
Offer yourself that care and comfort.
And if it's hard to find the words,
You might see yourself as a much younger version of you.
See this young vulnerable you and offer them the care and comfort.
Now for a moment,
Just return to your body.
And you might once again just scan through your body and see if there's been any change in the feelings of discomfort that were there earlier.
Perhaps there's more space there.
Perhaps you feel a warmth in your heart.
A spacious and loving heart is the beginning of self-compassion.
And so anytime when you feel the inner critic inside whispering harsh things in your ear,
You can choose to use this practice to develop the muscles of self-compassion.
Understanding moments of suffering.
Understanding that we all suffer in our common humanity.
And offering loving kindness to ourselves.
May you be at peace.
May you be held in compassion.
Namaste.
