Whatever You Want

This is an improvisational healing 'meditation.' Utilizing pure awareness, we honor where the body needs more loving attention and go there, allowing the tension and blocked energy to be naturally released, however it wants to move through the body. Be ready for your body to do anything--they may want to move, shake, moan, cry. All is welcome.

Transcript

This being is your favorite. You chose them. You wanted to be them. They're your favorite, Favorite being. You just were taught storylines about this being that cut off your access to them. Those storylines are not real. They're not here. They have nothing to do with the reality of you. They don't have anything to do with the reality of your pure consciousness that is immortal, That doesn't die, That loves you. And they have nothing to do with this body that is also perfect. Exactly whatever whatever comes out of this body, Whatever is true, Whatever you want or don't want is also perfect. And these two have been, They've never been separate, But they've been blocked. So here we are now, Pure consciousness coming into this body. So we're just settling as this pure witnessing, This inner eye. And let's really feel this together. So inside your body is this consciousness, Right? Sometimes we think of it as like floating above us. That's just a thought. Feel, Feel that it's completely inside your body. So it's this witnessing and feeling consciousness that's inside the middle of your heart. It's inside the middle of your solar plexus. And it moves around. It can look around. It can feel around. It's inside the middle of your throat. And it can feel around your throat. It's inside the middle of your head, Literally in the middle of the head. And like a, You know, Like something that 360 degrees around it rotates around your head. It can look and feel around the brain, From behind the eyes. It can look and feel from the, Into the top of the skull and beyond. It can look and feel out the back of the head and beyond. So I sort of like, Let's just keep doing this with the eyes, With the eyes open, The physical eyes open. And then your inner eye, Your inner consciousness is just looking and feeling through the body, Looking through the literal eyes, Feeling through the mouth, The back of the throat, The back of the head. There is nowhere in the body that your inner eye, That consciousness, That that's witnessing can't go. It, The sensation could feel like it's blocked there. It's not true. Nope. That's just a story. So what is it to feel through your whole skull while your eyes are open? Just feel your whole skull, Feel your whole brain. Feel your eye sockets. Feel your cheekbones, Deep inside the sinuses. The jaw, The teeth, The tongue, The chin. Let you go deep inside your chin, Deep inside your lips, As if you've never felt your lips before, As if you've never felt your teeth before. And if you want to close your eyes, Whatever you want to do, Do that. We're going to deeply listen to this body now. No holds barred, Like show all the way up inside every cell in this body. I'm feeling into the back of the skull and to my brain stem. That's an area that is always asking for attention. Most days I'm hanging out with that area. I'm feeling into it. I'm honoring it. I'm moving it. I'm stretching it. So I'm going to start stretching a little bit, Rolling my neck. Whatever's true, Let the body start to just do it. It'll do it. Let go of all ideas of what's right or wrong. You aren't, There's no such thing. Only you know what's true. And using the words right or wrong doesn't really apply. It's just whether it's true. So I'm saying, Here's what's happening with me. What's happening with you? You can know that. Here's this pure consciousness. Maybe explore your throat. I'm realizing I need more stretching in my neck. Side to side, Back and forth, Rolling around. You, Pure consciousness, That which is listening behind all thought, That vast, Vast, Vast, Endless, Endless consciousness that you are, That permeates everything. Permeates the body, Permeates the air, Permeates the ground. It's one consciousness inside of everything, Including your computer, Including your phone. Nothing isn't conscious. Nothing isn't alive. There's just one of us here. There's just one of us playing all these different angles inside our own self. You're just another angle of me. I'm just another angle of you. Another face in the same being. And on that, In that area where you are, There's pockets of pain, There's pockets of tension, There's pockets of achiness. And each one of those is calling out for the attention of this one self, This one consciousness. It's been relatively neglected. And us, Dear humans, Are the most neglected species on the planet. We're the only species that neglects ourselves. It's totally bonkers. We don't let ourselves be wild. We don't let ourselves be animals. We've been taught this self-control, But there's nobody controlling you. There's no enslaver here. So letting the body unwind itself, Show you where it needs rewilding. Where is the penned up and contained part of your body? And let it just unwind. Give it all your attention. You, Pure witnessing, Pure nothing, Pure, Pure witness. You could call it God. You could call it oneness. You could call it your higher self. It's what's looking. And it, You can go anywhere. So go all the way in. Don't hesitate. Go all the way in to where it hurts. I'm still working on my head and neck. But you may not be. You may find there is a very strong place. There's one spot that is hurting and achy or very sort of mysterious and shadowy and scary. It's got a, It's got a story wrapped around it. Don't believe the story. Come out of time and go into that door to see for yourself. Every layer of meaning, Let it go. There's nothing here but sensation. It doesn't have a story attached. None of that is real. Let it be what it is. Don't give it a predetermined storyline. And then let it do what it does. It might, It might feel like an unwinding. It might feel like it just sort of dusts off, Floats off. It might feel like, Oh, I've really got to go deeper in, Like it's a cavern. It might feel sort of beyond the body, Like an energy vortex. That's fine. It's all fine. It doesn't matter. Give it no name, Give it no story. Remember that's just time. It doesn't, It isn't real. And it's fine if the story plays. It just doesn't have anything to do with the sensation. So all we're doing is going and seeing for ourselves. And then the body tells you. It's finally being attended to by a parental figure, So to speak, A caring presence. And then it, It says, Oh, I want to stretch. I want to, I want to just deeply, Deeply relax and collapse. I want to moan. I want to just deeply exhale or breathe really deeply. And you can keep diving into these spots. You'll know it's maybe time to move on. Although there's spots all over our body, You'll know it's time to move on when that area just feels open. It feels completely connected with pure witnessing. So for me, The top of my head, My whole skull is feeling lighter and lighter, Like the air in the room is flowing through my skull, Through my head, And there's not really a separation there. That's healing. That's returning to wholeness. That's this fluidity of our being, Where life can move through us in a more fluid way. And that's all we're doing. We're just opening up these dense pockets so that life flows through the body in a more continuous, Easy, Natural way. That's all we're ever doing. And you don't have to do it. You don't have to start that flow. You can't. It's a, It's an endless flow of life. It didn't start with you. Nothing starts with you. You're not driving this bus. You're witnessing where life, The larger you, Is driving this bus. And you're realizing, Oh, Realization in the real. You're realizing, Oh, This body, You, Awareness, Realizing the body wants a drink of water, Wants a stretch. It's a realization. We're coming back to the real. And we are simple creatures. We want to stretch. We want a sandwich. We want to deeply exhale. You can come into the next body part if you want. Mine is the upper chest now. I have some, You know, Slightly sore muscles from some exercise, But it actually feels good to be in those muscles. Your pure witnessing is, Is the healing. It, It's your massage therapist, Your physical therapist, Your medicine. And the more you're in those bands of muscles, Or in your breastplate, Or inside your own shoulders, You're hearing and feeling the blood, The muscles, The bones. And the bones are like, I want this food. I want this movement. And the body is, The body opens up. It's like a kid that feels safe with an adult. It's safe to tell you what I want. It's safe to share my secrets. But it's just between you and you. There's no one else involved in this healing process. So I'm feeling deep inside my shoulder sockets. My back feels like stretching. My head feels like rolling. How about you? What's natural? Right? I call this natural healing. We're not doing anything. We're just allowing the natural healing, The natural unraveling, The natural areas of the body that are calling for attention. You know, Before we had a story about any of our sensation when we were little children, An area of the body was calling out, And we went right there. We were hungry. We cried for food. We felt like crawling. We moved our little legs across the floor. So that's all this is. It's the most natural, The easiest, The truest honoring of what's here. You can feel deep inside your own spine. Again, The whole body is an I. The whole body, We're witnessing ourselves from the inside, Looking and feeling around. That consciousness can own this place. It's like staking your claim. I'm here. I live here. I, Pure consciousness, Finally showing all the way up in this body. Not half in, Half out, Not even 80% in, All the way in. This is your body. This is your home. This is who you chose this time around. And we don't even need to talk about past lives or something. That's all nonsense in a way. It's all just time stories. This is where you are. This is you landing in you, You landing in this moment, The one moment that exists. So fully show up for yourself, All the way through your throat, All the way through your back, And inside your shoulders, And deep in your arms, And all through your fingers, And your palms, And the backs of your hands, And your bones. Every single area of the body, Stake your claim. She's mine. He's mine. They're mine. Take up all the space inside your chest. Take up all the space inside your shoulders, Your neck, Your head. And when you're done taking up space in your body, Through the skin, Through the inside, The bones, All those little pockets that are stiff or achy. And again, Just listen for yourself, Wherever your awareness wants to go. When you're done with that, Feel through the body. Stake the claim in your energy field. It's definitely an inside out process, We need to, You know, Feel that tweak right in the spine. Because that's the, That's the root of the energetic field twist. So if there's a kind of open lack of robustness, A kind of weak, Weak field, Three feet out from the back of your shoulder, It's because deep inside that shoulder blade, Or in that heart chakra, Or in the heart itself, There's a little twist, Or ache, Or sharp pain that needs you to go all the way into the deepest part of there. And then as that unravels, The rest of your field opens up. We're just a few field for this amazing field. And we're never unhealthy, The field isn't damaged, It isn't broken, It isn't bad, It isn't none of that. In the same way that a house that hasn't been cleaned isn't a ruined house, It just needs a little sweeping. So we're just sweeping through, Right? Our awareness itself is the cleansing. Sweep through everywhere that feels a little dusty. That's all. Shoulder blades, Back of the chest, Front of the chest, Deep in the pockets of your shoulders in the front, Behind your collarbone, Behind your sternum, Inside the lungs and the heart itself. You can dive, Dive, Dive deep in. There's deep caverns, There's deep, You know, Recesses in our bodies. We are, We are incredible, Incredible, Incredible creatures. So much to explore. If you feel the bottom of your ribcage and top of the solar plexus, Maybe feel deep inside that solar plexus, Top of the belly. Again, You're just listening if you want to get up and stretch, If you want to do whatever you want to do, But I'm exploring this area now. And as I explore the solar plexus, Right, Feeling deep in that pit in there, My neck still wants to stretch, My hips want to stretch. I don't know why. How would we know why? One area is connected to another. We don't have to know why. We don't have to know anything about what feels good, What feels true. We can just listen to the body and honor it. Let it be a mystery. It's not yours to figure out. You are not a problem to solve. You are a incredible being to explore and to listen to and enjoy inhabiting. None of us are problems. The body isn't a problem. The body is an amazing temple, An incredible creature. Feeling your whole belly be soft and expanded. You don't have to hold your belly in, You don't hold your organs in, You don't have to manage yourself. We don't need any management. Life doesn't need management. I'm feeling into my mid-back and it feels good to stretch inside the spine. You can dive really deep inside that spine. Wherever you dive into, Wherever is calling out, Right? Every bit of pain or even shadowiness or tension, It's calling out. It's saying, I need attention. And every time you go there, There's usually some amount of release, Right? It's a deep exhale or a stretch or a shake or a moan or something that is just part of the trapped energy in there. And you just released it, Right? You just trapped in part of your animal. You unleashed it from its snare. If you feel under the lower back and the top of the hips, Often we hold a lot of tension up here and our tailbone, Those lower vertebrae right above the tailbone. You can feel very sort of tucked in, Like our tucked our tail in. Let's see if you can just feel like you have a big bushy tail and it's just open. You're waving your tail around like a happy dog or a fox or a lion or a lioness. Just letting everything open. As an animal, There's no shame in your game. There's nothing held in. You growl and you bark and you slither. And you exhale and you stretch and you do all these things. Let yourself be the animal you are. Feel those hip joints open. Feel the pubic bone open. Feel your hips just dissolve in their own energetic field. You can let the body hold itself. You don't have to hold your pelvis together. You don't have to manage your hips. You don't have to manage your sexual energy. You can let all the fields of energy flow and remain open. You are not a dangerous being. You are not a problem. You are not broken or ill. You are a glorious aspect of God, Of goddess. And you're opening yourself up to all of nature, All of life, All of God flowing through you. Remember to wiggle or moan or exhale or whatever feels good. Feeling from inside the hips into the upper legs. As you really inhabit your body, You feel lighter. You don't feel like you're outside your body and your body is this heavy thing that you're hauling around. Rather, You're bringing the light of your own awareness inside your body and realizing it is just light and space. We're not actually solid. And those legs, You really feel inside those legs, Deep in the bones, Deep in the muscle groups, Feel through the skin. And in your direct experience, They're very light. They're not a heavy burden and they are alive. Your legs are so alive with energy. See if you can feel that. Maybe you're already feeling that in the rest of the body, The whole front of your torso, Back of your torso, Sides, Deep inside, Inside the legs now, Inside the pelvis. Feel how alive it all is. You're buzzing with energy. There's all kinds of sensation. Feeling the knees and the kneecaps and behind the knees and those lower legs. Same thing. Look how alive they are. Feel how alive they are. Feel how the bones are alive. They're just. . . Don't have a thought about your bones and see what happens when you feel them. You touch inside your shin bones, Inside the delicate bones of your feet, Inside your ankles and your heel bones. Feeling the arch of your feet and in between your toes and inside those nail beds and the buzzing of the bottoms of your feet. You are a an alive waveform of energy that reconfigures itself into this field. Your pancreas reconfigures itself every day. Everything's happening on its own. You don't need to manage it. You just are honoring its flow, Honoring its truth. Listening, Showing up, Feeling, Attending. Just keep listening to wherever the body is calling out for attention and just go there and give it to it. It may be that you want to take your hands and touch certain areas. Just bring little extra attention. Just hold your hands over your heart or over the back of your head or your throat. Or you want to get up and shake or get under the covers and rest and fall asleep. Whatever's true is allowed. And maybe as you're doing this, You can feel the whole body's energy field. So feel that buzz, That aliveness all through the body. The body is alive and there may be a spot where it feels a little less alive, A little more dense. Take the aliveness of a spot nearby of the whole field and just float it through that spot. It's just a spot that needs a little extra attention. But now you have this reference point of the aliveness of the rest of the body. Just bring that through the other area. Let the whole body buzz with energy and keep expanding out. So here you are, Pure awareness, Looking out and feeling out from inside the body. Feel through into your energetic field that's bigger than the skin. You are in a live field, Tingling with energy. All this antennae sort of of of your field, This torus field. And that field exists in other fields. It's just fields within fields within fields. There's the whole earth's field. There's the field of your home, Of your animals, Of your friends, Of your loved ones. But you're just going to shine in your own field now. That you literally are a sun source. The source of sun is not outside of you. You are it. You are a sun. You are a full-on sunshine. And you are beaming source through yourself from inside out. It's not from outside in. It's from inside out. You are your own source field. So let your whole field shine from the inside out. And notice how it's endless. Where's the edge? Your field is in the larger field of oneness. So let's really feel that. Feel how you don't have an end point. You, Pure awareness, Are looking around and feeling around at yourself from the inside out. Where do you end or begin? And this is fantastic news. Let everything in the body unravel into this oneness. The field that you, The ultimate field that you are floating in, That you are a part of, That you shine out from the inside out into. And let the body keep telling you whatever they want. And notice as you just open and open and open the body, Open up into this larger field, Notice how everything just flows through. There are no closed doors between you and all of life. All, Allness, Oneness. There's not a separation between you and the chair you're sitting in, The couch you're on. Notice how the field just goes right from inside the body through the skin into the couch, Down into the ground. And wherever there's still a bit of a stickiness in the body, Try it there. From deep inside the body, Here's this eye of awareness. Watch it go right through that spot, Out the skin, Out into the room, Out into the air. Where did you get cut off? Nowhere. It was just a hallucination. It was just a story. And you're soaking in your own grace, In your own oneness, In your own love, In your own comfortable bed. The coziest, Biggest plush bed that you live in. That you are. And just in the way that if you were in the coziest spot on earth, You would relax so much. The whole body would just relax so deeply. You can keep letting the body unwind further and further into this endless peace, This endless plush, Deeper aspect of you. And you can open your eyes. Whenever you feel to, You can keep listening to where the body would like more attention. You can keep unraveling and unfolding into this vastness. It's never going to go anywhere. It's always here to relax into, To unfold into, To rest into. Where would it go? Where would you go? You, This pure plush awareness, Will always be here for this body to rest inside of, Rest as.

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