Hello my friend.
Welcome.
If you've been to my channel before,
You know that I usually make guided meditations,
But today as I've been sitting and reflecting on how the year has gone,
I felt the urge to sit and have a bit of a heart-to-heart and talk about some of the thoughts that I have about the year.
And I framed this end-of-year reflection around three journal prompts,
Which are one,
What did you do this year that you're proud of?
And what does this help you see or remember about who you are?
The second one is how have you changed this past year?
And the third and last prompt is what are you ready to leave behind in 2023?
And I'll also put these prompts in the description in case this video inspires you to reflect on your year as well.
If this is your first time to my channel,
Welcome.
My name is Amber,
And nine to five I'm a PM in the tech industry,
And this is where I teach mindfulness and meditation.
I'm fascinated by the concept and the realities of work and its role in our lives,
The way that it's often our greatest stressor,
But also the place where we spend most of our time.
And so a lot of my content explores how we can use mindfulness and meditation to find a work-life balance that works for us.
And sometimes,
Like today,
I explore these concepts in the context of my own life.
So if that sounds good to you,
I hope you will subscribe and say hello in the comments below.
So the first question that I've been rolling around in my mind is what did you do this year that you're proud of?
And what does this help you see or remember about who you are?
So to answer this question,
I think it's important to give a little bit of context on how I came to be teaching meditation.
As I mentioned,
My background is in project and program management,
And a few years ago I decided to go after the PMP certification.
It's a highly respected credential in my industry.
It's known for being pretty difficult to earn.
You have to pass a test to earn it.
And so when I decided to embark upon this quest,
I gave it my all for about four months.
Imagine in your mind a movie montage of someone studying to pass a test.
I woke up early.
I stayed up late.
I made a study schedule and flashcards.
I really put everything I had into studying for this exam.
And finally,
When the day of the exam came around,
I was so nervous.
I had really studied extremely hard,
And I passed with the highest possible score.
As I walked out of that testing center,
Of course I was extremely excited.
I was super proud that I had passed.
But the overwhelming feeling that I had was,
If I can work this hard to achieve a project management certification,
What else could I accomplish if I put my mind to it?
And that's when I started to really think about all the possibilities of my life,
And all of these like mental doors started to open.
Once I had real life evidence that I could do hard things,
I started to dream in a way that I never had before.
And this channel,
Meditation with Amber,
And my program Become Club,
Are a direct result of that dreaming.
Meditation with Amber is my genius zone.
As Eve Rodsky puts it,
It's my unicorn space.
This is where I can bring together the skills I've learned as a consultant with my lifelong obsession with self-development and mental health to create the life that I want to live,
And hopefully to help others.
So to bring it back to the original question,
What did I do this year that I'm proud of?
I'm incredibly proud of how far this year has come in such a short span of time.
And this year I've navigated a lot of self-doubt,
Fear of rejection,
Imposter syndrome,
And you know,
I've continued to forge ahead despite all of it.
And so now looking back at the end of the year,
I am truly proud of how far I've come.
And it really reminds me of that feeling that I had coming out of that testing center,
That I am capable of and have the potential for so much.
And so I would absolutely consider that the highlight of my year.
Okay,
The second reflection prompt is how have you changed this past year?
So years ago,
I have experienced periods of really bad burnout that I would say is the result of a violent imbalance between work and life.
And at the time,
What made it so difficult was that I truly had no awareness of what was going on in my body and in my energy.
And if someone had asked me back then,
I would have said like,
Yeah,
Work is really crazy.
I wish I didn't have so many projects on my plate.
But I wasn't truly aware that my mental and physical health were deteriorating,
Crumbling even as a result.
And I think it's safe to say that this year actually has been the busiest year that I've ever had with,
You know,
Working at my nine to five and trying to get meditation with Amber off the ground,
Along with some personal projects that I have.
So getting burned out again is definitely a concern for me.
And you know,
At the time of this recording,
I haven't been to the gym in several weeks.
And moving my body is genuinely something that brings me a lot of joy and keeps my mental health on track.
I haven't made a lot of effort in my relationships and friendships recently,
Right,
Etc,
Etc.
These are the kinds of things that begin to happen when I am consumed by my work.
And I know this about myself from experience.
What has changed though,
This time around is that my awareness is so much better.
And so I've caught the symptoms of burnout much quicker.
And as a result,
My burnout hasn't reached anywhere near the extremes that it has in the past.
But with that being said,
I have noticed an unacceptable to me backslide in my healthy habits and self care.
And that is something that I am taking action on now and definitely into 2024.
Okay,
So that leads me to the last journal prompt.
What are you ready to leave behind in 2023?
As I keep alluding to in this video,
And it's kind of the premise of this entire channel,
Is that I have the tendency to get sucked into my work.
I love to give a product my all,
But I know from experience that this can come at the detriment of other important aspects of my life.
And so while I was thinking about it,
This is how it finally clicked for me.
If the manager part of my brain,
The one who's constantly,
You know,
Beating the productivity drum,
Were extracted out and became her own separate entity,
She would be a bad boss,
Right?
She is talking to me day and night,
Pinging me with thoughts all the time,
Like,
I just had a great idea,
We should take action on it right now.
Like,
Don't forget about these deadlines of x,
Y,
And z.
And for a long time,
You know,
I didn't mind it.
I was excited to have so much energy and ideas.
And I even fostered it because as a result,
I was very productive.
And another reason why I've allowed this bad boss to take up so much room on my mental stage is because I am a true believer in this work.
And I'm so excited every day to teach more people about meditation and how they can implement mindfulness to bring more peace and contentment into their lives.
But I didn't start my own business to have a bad boss.
And so I'm learning to decouple my vision for the business from a toxic hustle culture mentality.
So I'm ready to leave behind the bad boss in my head in 2023 and move forward into the new year with a different attitude in charge.
I want to practice healthy boundaries so that I can have the sustainable,
Healthy relationship with work that I've always wanted.
And so in 2024,
I am excited to strike the balance between working passionately and fervently on this channel,
My purposeful work,
Which brings a lot of meaning to my life,
And also finding a measured,
Sustainable pace,
Which honors my needs for rest and self-care in the present moment.
All right,
That's all I have for today.
I hope you enjoyed this slightly different style of video.
And as I mentioned,
I'll leave the three journal prompts in the description as inspiration.
And if this sparked any thoughts or reflections on how 2023 went for you,
I would love to hear about it in a comment below.
My next guided meditation will be all about setting our intentions for 2024,
Which I hope that you'll join me for.
And until next time,
Take extra good care.
