How to identify the one thing that's keeping you trapped.
So what is really holding you back?
What if you're looking in the wrong place?
Let me ask you something.
Have you ever felt like you're doing everything you're supposed to be doing,
But somehow you're still not moving forward?
Maybe you've been working on yourself for years.
You read the books,
You're listening to the podcasts,
You tried meditation,
Manifestation,
Affirmations,
Journaling,
Therapy,
Or whatever it is that you can think of,
And yet,
There is this one area of your life where you just cannot seem to get ahead,
Where you're just stuck.
Maybe it's your relationships,
Maybe it's your career,
Maybe it's your money,
Maybe it's your confidence,
Or maybe it's something you can't even put your finger on.
You just have this feeling that you're capable of so much more,
But something keeps pulling you back.
And here's what I want you to consider today.
What if the thing keeping you stuck isn't what you think it is?
What if you've been trying to fix the symptoms instead of identifying the actual problem?
Because sometimes we spend so much time trying to change our circumstances that we never stop to ask ourselves why we keep returning to the same place.
And that's what we're going to explore today.
We're going to question some of the stories you've been telling yourselves.
And hopefully,
By the end of this workshop,
You'll have a much clearer understanding of what's actually standing between you and the life you're trying to create.
The problem isn't always the problem.
Let's just say somebody tells me,
Okay,
I can't seem to find a healthy relationship.
And then when I ask them why,
They simply say,
Because I keep meeting the wrong people.
Okay,
Well,
Listen,
That's understandable.
But what if we look a little deeper?
What if they're repeatedly attracted to emotionally unavailable people?
What if they struggle to communicate their needs?
What if they're afraid of being alone?
Suddenly the problem isn't simply that they keep meeting the wrong people.
There might be a pattern worth looking into or exploring.
Okay,
Let's think about money.
Okay,
Somebody tells me I never seem to have enough money and they might genuinely be dealing with difficult financial circumstances,
But perhaps they also struggle to ask for a fair compensation.
Perhaps they feel guilty charging for their work or perhaps they believe that wanting more money makes them selfish.
Now those beliefs may not be the only reason they're struggling financially,
But essentially the influence is the choices they make.
So that's what essentially we're looking for here.
The difference between what's happening to you and what might be happening within you.
Because while you can't control everything that happens in life,
You can begin to recognize the patterns that influence how you respond.
And sometimes that recognition changes everything.
The hidden benefit of staying stuck.
Now,
This next part might sound a little strange,
But I want you to stay with me.
What if part of you essentially is getting something out of staying exactly where they are?
I know,
I know.
Why would anyone want to stay stuck?
Why would anyone want to be broke?
Why would anyone want to be miserable and single?
Why would somebody want to remain in a situation that makes them unhappy?
Well,
Because sometimes the familiar feels safer than the unknown.
And sometimes avoiding change protects us from something we're afraid to experience.
Let me give you an example.
Imagine someone who desperately wants to start their own business.
They've talked about it for years.
They have ideas.
They have plans.
They know what they want to create,
But they never actually start.
And when you ask them why,
They say,
I'm just waiting for the right time.
But what if the real issue is in timing?
What if starting the business means risking failure?
What if it means being judged?
What if it means discovering that something they've dreamed of might not work out the way they imagined.
As long as they don't start,
They never have to face those possibilities.
So waiting becomes a form of protection,
Not necessarily a conscious choice,
But a way of avoiding something uncomfortable.
Or maybe someone wants to leave a relationship that no longer feels right,
But they stay.
Perhaps they're staying because they're afraid of being alone,
Afraid of starting over,
Afraid of disappointing people,
Afraid of uncertainty.
Saying every situation is that simple.
Sometimes people face very real financial,
Practical,
Or safety barriers to leave,
Okay?
But when avoidance is part of the pattern,
It's worth understanding what it's protecting us from.
And here's the question I want you to remember.
What am I avoiding by staying where I am?
Because sometimes the thing keeping you trapped isn't the situation itself.
It's what you believe might happen if you change it.
Think about it.
The story that keeps repeating.
Now I want you to think about something.
Is there a story you keep telling yourself?
Maybe it's nothing ever works out for me.
I'm just unlucky.
People always disappoint me.
I'm not disciplined.
I'm too old to start over.
That kind of person who succeeds.
I'm always gonna struggle.
We all have a story,
Okay?
And some of those stories are based on very real experiences,
But here's where they can become limiting.
We start treating our past experiences as predictions of our future.
Let's say you've tried something three times and it didn't work.
You might start believing,
Well,
Clearly,
I'm not good at this.
And then the next opportunity comes along.
But instead of approaching it with curiosity,
You approach it with the expectation that you're going to fail.
Maybe you don't put in the same effort.
Maybe you give up earlier.
Maybe you don't even try.
And eventually you start collecting more evidence that supports the original belief.
Not because the belief was necessarily true,
But because it began influencing your behavior.
This is why I think it's so important to question the stories we repeat.
Because something happened before doesn't mean it has to happen again.
And just because you've behaved a certain way for years doesn't mean you're incapable of behaving different.
Your history is information.
It isn't a life sentence.
What are you afraid will happen if you succeed?
Now let's take this in a slightly different direction because we often talk about the fear of failure.
But we don't always talk about the fear of what happens when things actually do change.
Imagine somebody who says they want to become more successful.
They want to be more recognized.
They want to be,
You know,
Make more money.
They want to create something meaningful.
But what happens if they actually get it?
Maybe they'll have more responsibility.
Maybe that people will expect more from them.
Maybe they'll have to set boundaries.
Maybe they'll become more visible.
Maybe they'll have to make decisions they never made before.
Maybe they'll be criticized.
And suddenly the things they say they want come with consequences they haven't fully considered.
So part of them wants the opportunity,
And another part is afraid of what that opportunity might require.
The same thing,
Relationships.
You might say you want a loving,
Healthy relationship,
But a healthy relationship may require vulnerability.
It may require honesty and communication.
It may require allowing someone to truly see you.
And if you've been hurt before,
That might feel terrifying.
Or maybe you want more freedom.
But freedom means making your own decisions,
Taking responsibility,
Letting go of certain expectations.
And perhaps a part of you finds that uncomfortable.
So I want you to consider this.
Are you afraid of not getting what you want?
Or are you afraid of what might change if you actually get it?
That is a very different question.
And sometimes the answer can reveal something important.
The one thing.
Now,
We've talked about beliefs,
We've talked about fears,
We've talked about patterns,
Avoidance and the story we tell ourselves.
But I don't want you to leave this workshop without 20 different things you think you need to fix because that's obviously overwhelming.
And sometimes when we're overwhelmed,
We do absolutely nothing.
So instead,
I want you to focus on just one thing,
Okay?
One belief.
One fear,
One habit,
One pattern.
Something that you have some ability to work on,
Okay?
It doesn't have to explain every difficulty in your life.
It doesn't have to be the deepest psychology discovery you've ever made.
It simply needs to be something meaningful that you can begin changing.
For example,
Maybe you realize,
I keep waiting until I feel completely ready,
Or I avoid difficult conversations because I'm afraid of disappointing people,
Or I don't put myself out there because I'm afraid of being judged,
Or I keep choosing what feels familiar even when it doesn't make me happy.
Now we're getting somewhere,
Okay?
Because instead of saying my entire life is stuck,
You can say here's one pattern I want to stop repeating and that gives you something to to work with.
Something specific,
Something you can begin to change.
The exercise,
Find your one thing.
Okay,
Now we're going to do a very simple exercise.
You already know,
You're gonna grab that pen and paper,
And then at the top,
You're going to write,
What is really keeping me stuck?
I'm going to repeat,
What is really keeping me stuck?
Now,
I'm gonna ask you three questions,
And I want you to answer them honestly as you can,
Okay?
You can pause this video between each question.
Question one.
What is the one area in my life where I keep feeling stuck?
Now don't write everything.
Choose one.
Maybe it's love,
Maybe it's money,
Career,
Confidence,
Your health.
Your personal growth,
Whatever comes to mind,
Okay?
Write it down.
Question two.
What do I keep doing,
Avoiding,
Or believing that might be contributing to this situation?
What do I keep doing,
Avoiding,
Or believing that might be contributing to this situation?
Now,
I want you to be curious here.
Okay,
Not judgmental.
Maybe you're avoiding something,
Okay?
Maybe you're repeating a behavior.
Maybe you're holding onto a belief.
You're waiting for something outside of you to change before you allow yourself to move forward.
Just notice what comes up,
Okay?
And remember,
Not every obstacle is something you created.
If the difficulty is outside your control,
Acknowledge that too.
And question three,
What am I afraid might happen?
If I actually change this?
What am I afraid might happen if I actually change this?
So this one,
I really want you to sit with it.
What happens if you stop people pleasing?
What happens if you start pursuing your dreams?
What happens if you become more visible?
What happens if you finally set the boundaries?
What happens if you stop waiting and start taking action?
What feels uncomfortable about that?
And is there something you've been avoiding because of it?
Amazing.
At your three answers,
And I want you to finish one final sentence,
Okay?
Whenever you're ready,
Of course,
Pause this if you need to,
But whenever you're ready,
You're gonna finish this sentence.
The one thing I'm ready to stop allowing to hold me back is.
.
.
The one thing I'm ready to stop allowing to hold me back is.
.
.
And write it down.
Now,
Make it specific,
And don't worry if your answer isn't perfect.
You're not trying to solve your entire life in one workshop,
Guys.
You're simply identifying one place where change can begin.
Breaking the pattern.
All right,
So now that you've identified your one thing,
We're going to take this one a step further,
Because awareness is important.
Awareness without action can leave us right where we started.
So I want you to ask yourself,
What is one small thing I can do differently in the next 24?
So if you've realized that you keep waiting until you feel ready,
Maybe your action is to stop before you feel completely prepared.
If you realize that you're afraid of judgment,
Maybe you share something you've been keeping to yourself.
If you realize that you constantly put everyone else before you,
Maybe your practice is saying no to something.
If you've realized that you're avoiding an important decision,
Maybe you take one small step towards making it.
It doesn't need to be dramatic.
In fact,
Sometimes the smallest changes are the most sustainable.
Because we're not trying to force a complete transformation overnight.
We're trying to interrupt an old pattern.
And every time you interrupt that pattern,
You create an opportunity to choose differently.
Now I want you to write one final statement.
And finish the sentence with your action.
Take your commitment.
That's where this workshop becomes something more than information.
It becomes action.
The door may be already open.
I want to leave you with one final thought.
Okay,
Sometimes we imagine that the thing keeping us trapped is this enormous obstacle,
Something maybe impossible to overcome,
Something that requires us to completely change our lives before we can move forward.
And sometimes there really are difficult circumstances that require time,
Resources,
Support and patience.
But other times,
The thing holding us back is much smaller than we actually imagined.
It's a belief we never a question,
It's a conversation we've been avoiding,
A decision we're afraid to make,
A story we've been repeating for years,
Or a version of ourselves we've become so familiar with that we can't imagine being anyone else.
And here's what I want you to remember.
You don't have to change everything to begin to change something.
You don't have to have every answer.
You don't have to know exactly how your life is going to unfold.
And you certainly don't need to Wait until you're completely fearless.
You just need to recognize where you have choice,
And then begin making a different one.
That's it.
So the next time you catch yourself saying,
I'm stuck.
I want you to stop for a moment,
And I want you to ask,
What is one thing I can begin doing differently?
Because sometimes the first step towards freedom isn't finding a completely new path,
It's recognizing the pattern that's been keeping you into the old one.
All right,
Guys.
Well,
Thank you for joining me for this workshop,
And remember,
The moment you recognize the pattern,
You give yourself the opportunity to break it.
And that might just be where your next chapter begins.
