Hello again and welcome back.
Today's meditation is all about boundaries.
Living without healthy boundaries deprives us of our dignity,
It is destructive to relationships and it keeps us from fulfilling ourselves physically,
Emotionally and spiritually.
Like a broken fence,
There are two sides to unhealthy personal boundaries.
On one side is the pattern of disrespecting personal space,
Taking advantage of others and being abusive.
On the other is allowing oneself to be disrespected,
Taken advantage of or abused,
And deliberately doing things for others that are the other person's responsibility to do for themselves.
This meditation focuses on the second side of the issue and can be helpful for those who tend to be abused or taken unfair advantage of,
Who tend to give too much,
And who have trouble saying no.
Developing healthy boundaries may require some personal space housekeeping.
It may be time to change who you allow into your life,
Or stop giving others all the time or attention they've come to expect from you.
Use this guided meditation to learn what changes you need to make,
Then,
If you're willing to put forth the effort,
You can make a shift.
You can establish good healthy boundaries,
And you can enjoy the freedom in life that healthy boundaries make possible.
To begin,
Make yourself comfortable and close your eyes.
Take a slow,
Deep breath and let go of any tension in your body as you feel yourself sinking into the surface you are resting on,
Becoming still more comfortable and relaxed.
Take another slow,
Deep breath and feel a sense of calm and peace begin to fill you as you relax even further.
And take another slow,
Deep breath and let your thinking begin to wind down and smooth out.
Imagine you've been sleeping a deep,
Sound sleep for many hours,
And you're just beginning to stir awake,
And the first thing you notice is that you're waking up on a soft bed of pine needles on the ground,
Surrounded by ancient fir trees.
It's just before dawn and the air is quite cool,
The light is dim,
And there's a foggy mist in the air.
You can smell the scent of pine and the damp coolness of the earth,
And any sound is blanketed by the mist.
Everything is a palette of soft greens,
Browns,
And greys.
Standing up,
You begin to walk along a path through the trees,
And you can feel the spongy ground beneath your feet,
Perhaps you still feel a bit foggy from your sleep,
But soon you come to a little spring,
You cup your hands to get a drink and splash some of the cool clear water on your face.
Now you're beginning to see the trees and plants that surround you more clearly.
Walking further along,
You come to a small bunker with what appears to be a cellar door folded down into it.
There's a little sign on the door,
And looking more closely,
You see that the sign has your name written upon it,
Followed by the words,
Enter to wise up.
Before you do enter,
Consider that you're about to gain clarity on a pattern that has controlled and limited you,
Probably for many years.
With this new clarity,
You will have the opportunity to make a change,
But the choice to change your behavior will remain in your hands.
Are you ready?
It's time to find out.
Open the door.
Before you are five stairs down to a landing,
And you can see a soft light coming from the other side of the landing,
At the bottom of the stairs.
As you step down onto the first step,
Take a moment to consider the following question.
What do I do for others that should be their responsibility to do themselves?
As you step down to the second step,
Take a moment to consider this question.
In what situations do I give away my time,
Energy,
Or money to gain acceptance,
Love,
Or appreciation?
As you step down to the third step,
Consider this question.
In what ways do I leave my own center and ignore my own truth to try and get my physical or emotional needs met?
As you step down to the fourth step,
Take a moment to consider this question.
What do I feel or believe about myself that makes me willing to leave my center and ignore my own truth?
And as you step down to the fifth step,
Take a moment to consider this question.
What situations do I allow to occur or not take precautions to prevent that result in my being abused,
Hurt,
Or taken unfair advantage of?
Step down to the landing,
Look through the doorway,
And you'll see that you've come to a small movie theater for an audience of one with a comfortable chair,
Thick carpet,
Sloping walls with speakers set into them,
And a sleek movie screen at the front.
Have a seat in the chair and make yourself at home.
The house lights dim and the screen fills with your name,
And just below it you see the words,
TIME TO WISE UP.
The movie begins with a recent scene from your life in which you were either taken advantage of or abused,
Or in which you took it upon yourself to do something for someone else that was not appropriate or healthy for you to be doing for them.
Watch that scene unfold and notice how your energy is affected in the movie and how you feel.
Watch that scene again and see,
Hear,
And feel it with as much clarity as possible as everything comes into sharper focus.
Watch that scene one more time,
And this time,
Notice the point at which you either made the decision to do what you did,
Or chose not to take action to stop it from happening.
Notice whether you were conscious of the decision or choice,
Or if it seemed to happen without you even being aware of it.
The next scene is one that's not quite so recent,
And again,
It's one in which you were either taken advantage of or abused,
Or in which you took it upon yourself to do something for someone else that was not appropriate or healthy for you to be doing for them.
Watch that scene unfold and notice how your energy is affected in the movie and how you feel.
Watch that scene again and see,
Hear,
And feel it with as much clarity as possible as everything comes into sharper focus.
Watch that scene one more time,
And this time,
Notice the point at which you either made the decision to do what you did,
Or chose not to take action to stop it from happening.
Notice whether you were conscious of the decision or choice,
Or if it seemed to happen without you even being aware of it.
The movie changes now,
And goes back to a point in time to where the theme of your story seems to have its beginnings,
Probably in childhood.
As you watch this part of the movie,
Remember that you are now all grown up,
You are safe and protected in this moment,
And you have all the resources of a fully grown adult to take good care of yourself.
You are only watching this movie to gather information,
And there's no need to re-experience your emotions from the past.
What were the circumstances that made you leave your center?
That made you take on responsibilities that should not have been yours?
That made you do something for someone else that wasn't good for you to do?
Or that made you become the object of abuse or being taken advantage of?
Watch this scene just one more time,
But this time,
See your adult self come into the scene to guide and protect your childhood self,
Either by helping you make a better decision,
By physically protecting you,
Or by completely removing yourself from that situation,
Taking your childhood self to a safe place.
See yourself safe and protected,
And take a deep breath.
See and feel that situation completely surrounded and filled with healing light of whatever color you and your childhood self would like.
Take another deep breath and allow all feelings of fear,
Anger,
Or sadness to be released into the healing light as you recognize that this happened long ago and it is past and finished.
Today,
You're all grown up,
And you can take good care of yourself,
Just as you've taken good care of your childhood self.
And today,
You have many more choices and opportunities to shape your life.
The next part of the movie will show you how to let go of old patterns from the past and establish a more positive,
Healthier way of being.
See yourself standing alone in a favorite setting,
A place of your choice that feels safe and comfortable,
And you feel relaxed and free to be yourself.
Become aware of a column of light extending from the highest heavens straight through you and deep into the earth,
All the way to the core of the earth.
As the light passes through you,
It resonates especially in your heart center,
Merging with your own energy and expanding outward.
Focus in your heart and you can feel a deep sense of connection and strength.
As the light continues to pass through you,
You feel more and more centered,
Grounded,
And whole.
You are fully self-contained and content,
Complete unto yourself.
A circular zone of protection seems to project out all around you,
And you can see it expanding out from your feet,
Your heart,
And your head.
This zone and the column of light passing through you represent your healthy boundary.
It's both an energetic boundary and a physical one,
And it comes from the center of your own being.
As you continue to stay centered,
Heart-focused,
And grounded,
Your energy becomes stronger,
Healthier,
And more self-contained than ever.
Take some time to experience this inner connection as you listen to the following affirmations and allow them to resonate deep within.
I am centered,
Grounded,
And connected inside,
And I know who I am.
I allow into my circle only those who are supportive of me and my life.
I take care of myself first,
Not selfishly,
But as my healthy responsibility to myself.
I do things for others only when appropriate and supportive for everyone involved,
Including myself.
When I find myself faced with any person or situation that would threaten my safety,
Dignity,
Or well-being,
I physically remove myself from that situation without delay and I go somewhere safe.
I look out for myself,
And I plan so that my needs are covered and I always have somewhere safe to be.
I choose to be only with those who respect my healthy boundaries,
And I insist that all others go their own way.
I am worthy of love,
Respect,
And appreciation,
And I find that within myself.
Watch yourself on the screen now,
Centered within your zone of protection,
And notice how vital and strong your own energy is.
Notice that when you reach out to someone else while centered,
Your energy stays strong,
And your light stays bright.
But when you reach for someone from sadness or a sense of lack,
You move out of your circle,
And your energy drops.
As soon as you leave your center to try to gain satisfaction,
You cannot be truly satisfied.
But when you remain centered,
You have the opportunity to find the love,
Acceptance,
And support that you're looking for within yourself.
At that point,
You can begin to attract people to you who will honor,
Appreciate,
And respect who you are.
Take some time to watch yourself on screen as you experiment staying in your center and connecting with yourself and others in a healthy way.
As well as seeing what happens when you do the opposite,
When you leave your center to try to gain someone else's approval or sympathy.
Notice how your energy changes,
What leaves you feeling drained,
And what supports you.
Now,
Take a few moments to consider what changes you might need to make in your life to create the opportunity to develop good,
Healthy boundaries.
What situations would you need to avoid,
And what would you need to cultivate?
What relationships would you need to change or diminish,
And how would you change them?
It's almost time to bring this inner journey to a close,
So gather together anything you have learned and plan to write about your experience and any changes you'll need to make after the meditation.
Gradually bring your awareness back into your body and your physical surroundings.
Take your time,
And when you're ready,
Open your eyes and feel awake,
Alert,
And refreshed.
Pick up your pen and paper and write about your experience now,
While it's still fresh in your mind.
This is Mary Freeth,
Wishing you a beautiful day.
We'll see you again tomorrow.
