Al-Dabbalah min ash-shaytan al-rajim.
Bismillah rahman al-rahim.
In the name of the one most compassionate,
Most merciful,
Most kind.
This is Mark Silver with Heart of Business.
And there are so many times when our spiritual practices,
Which we have such high hopes for,
And that we know are helpful if we stick with them,
Fall off.
And sometimes fall off badly.
And sometimes fall off for extended periods.
And I want to invite you into a noticing of that.
Without shame,
Without guilt.
And yet perhaps feeling some grief.
Grief at the lost moments,
The lost connection.
Grief at remembering ways that you acted that you knew weren't so grounded or decisions you made that you knew were not connected.
And it's okay.
This happens to me over and over again.
The most painful moments are usually some weeks after Ramadan when the really profound connection that I felt during that month in my own practice has faded and my own commitment to regular practice has slipped.
In being kind to yourself and not drinking in the toxicity of shame or guilt for quote unquote having done it wrong.
It also doesn't always feel appropriate to just be happy.
Sometimes there's real grief at the loss of what you know is really nourishing.
And so allowing yourself to feel that grief as a way of returning home.
Just noticing what's true for you in your heart and in your body and how much space there is to feel exactly how you're feeling.
And bringing your attention to your heart high up in your chest.
Letting your head bow.
Letting your heart bow.
Letting yourself call through the open doorway of your heart.
The call of return.
The call of coming home.
Calling the name of the friend,
The sacred beloved,
Of the oneness of the source of love that brings you home.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
That is totally normal.
We all fall off of practices.
Eating healthy or brushing our teeth or even being mindful and attentive to our loved ones.
And then there's often some offness.
Your teeth feel dirty.
Your heart aches after an interaction with someone you care about that just felt a little off.
Or you're just beginning to move through your day in a state of disconnection.
In a state where the tempest of the world throws you around.
In a state where love feels very elusive.
And you're just noticing that.
And acknowledging it and feeling the grief.
Letting your head bow and letting your heart bow and just calling to the divine through the open doorway of your heart.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
And as your heart begins to open,
As the remembrance deepens and the presence of love becomes ever more apparent,
As you embrace the means of connection,
The practices that allow your heart to remember this.
Also accepting the compassion of knowing that you will forget again.
And knowing that the forgetting is what happens to humans.
That the return can perhaps happen more easily and more quickly.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
With practices,
It's often helpful to let yourself feel the ache of the grief of missing the love.
Letting the thirst of your heart pull you forward rather than the beating of sticks wielded by guilt or shame to try to push you forward.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Allah.
Taking a moment to notice anything that you might have received during this remembrance.
Noticing any authentic gratitude or appreciation for that which your heart did receive.
And letting yourself express that to the divine.
And taking a gentle breath,
Holding the remembrance in your heart,
Letting your attention turn to compassionate accountability.
