More William: The May King

Relax and enjoy this seasonal story about irrepressible schoolboy William and his resistance to dancing around the Maypole as a humble courtier paying homage to the class beauty. Rather sweetly for William, he sets out to find a May Queen of his own. Part of a series written in 1922 by Richmal Crompton.

Guitar music by William King.

Transcript

Hello,

It's Mandy here.

Welcome back to the world of Just William by Richmal Crompton.

And tonight we're going to be listening to a story called The May King.

But before I go ahead,

Make sure to make yourself really comfortable.

Settle down into your chair or your bed.

Get nice and comfortable.

Relax your hands.

Drop your shoulders.

And just soften your jaw.

That's wonderful.

So if you're ready,

Then I'll begin.

The May King.

William was frankly bored.

School always bored him.

He disliked facts.

And he disliked being tied down to detail.

And he disliked answering questions.

As a politician,

A great future would have lain before him.

William attended a mixed school.

His parents hoped that feminine influence might have a mellowing effect upon his character.

As yet,

The mellowing was not apparent.

He was roused from his daydreams by a change in the of Miss Dewhurst,

His form mistress.

It was evident that she was not talking about the exports of England,

A subject in which William took little interest,

Any longer.

Children,

She said brightly,

I want to have a little May Queen for the 1st of May.

The rest of you must be her courtiers.

I want you all to vote tomorrow.

Put down on a piece of paper the name of the little girl you think would make the sweetest little queen.

And the rest of you shall be her swains and maidens.

We're going to be having a May Queen,

Remarked William,

To his family at dinner.

And I'm going to be a swain.

His interest died down considerably when he discovered the meaning of the word swain.

Isn't it no sort of animal at all?

He asked indignantly.

Well,

I'm not going to be any swain,

He said,

When he heard that it was not.

The next morning,

Evangeline Fish began to canvas the votes methodically.

Evangeline Fish was very fair and was dressed always in that shade of blue that shrieks aloud to the heavens and puts the skies to shame.

She was considered the beauty of the form.

I'll give you two bullseyes if you'll vote for me,

She said to William.

Two,

Said William with scorn.

Six,

She bargained.

All right,

He said.

You can give me six bullseyes if you want.

There's nothing to stop you giving me six bullseyes if you want,

Is there?

Not that I know of.

But you'll have to promise to put down my name on the paper if I give you six bullseyes,

She said suspiciously.

All right,

Said William.

I can easy promise that.

Whereupon,

She handed over the six bullseyes.

William returned one as being under the regulation size and waited frowning until she replaced it by a larger one.

Now you've promised,

Said Evangeline Fish.

They'll make you ill and die if you break your promise on them.

William kept his promise with true political address.

He wrote E.

Fish,

I don't think,

On his voting paper,

And his vote was disqualified.

But Evangeline Fish was elected May Queen by an overwhelming majority.

She was,

After all,

The beauty of the form,

And she always wore blue.

And now she was to be May Queen.

Her prestige was established forever.

Little Angel,

Murmured the elder girls.

The small boys fought for her favours.

William began to dislike her intensely.

Her voice and her smile and her ringlets and her blue dress began to jar on his nerves.

And when anything began to jar on William's nerves,

Something always happened.

It was not until about a week later that he noticed Bettine Franklin.

Bettine was small and dark.

There was nothing angelic about her.

William had noticed her vaguely in school before and had hardly looked upon her as a distinct personality.

But one recreation in the playground,

He stood leaning against the wall by himself,

Scowling at Evangeline Fish.

She was surrounded by a crowd of admirers and was prattling to them heartlessly in her angelic voice.

I'm going to be dressed in white muslin with a blue sash.

Blue suits me,

You know,

I'm so fair.

She tossed back a ringlet.

One of you will have to hold my train and the rest must dance around me.

I'm going to have a crown and she turned round in order to avoid the scowling gaze of William in the distance.

William had discovered that his scowl annoyed her and since then he had given it little rest.

But there was no satisfaction in scowling at the back of her well-curled head,

So he relaxed his scowl and let his gaze wander around the playground.

And it fell upon Bettine.

Bettine was also standing by herself and gazing at Evangeline Fish.

But she was not scowling.

She was looking at Evangeline Fish with wistful envy.

For Evangeline Fish was angelic and a May Queen and she was neither of these things.

William strolled over and lulled against the wall next to her.

Hello,

He said without looking at her,

For this change of position had brought him again within range of Evangeline Fish's eye and he was once more simply one concentrated scowl.

Hello,

Murmured Bettine shyly and politely.

You like pink rock,

Was William's next effort.

Said Bettine nodding emphatically.

I'll give you some next time I buy some,

Said William magnificently.

But I shan't be buying any for a long time,

He added bitterly,

Because an old ball slipped out my hands onto our dining room window before I noticed it yesterday.

She nodded understandingly.

I don't mind,

She said sweetly.

I'll like you just as much if you don't give me any rock.

William blushed.

I didn't know you liked me,

He said.

I do,

She said fervently.

I like your face and I like the things you say.

William had forgotten to scowl.

He was one flaming mixture of embarrassment and delight.

He plunged his hands into his pockets and brought out two marbles,

A piece of clay and a broken toy gun.

You can have them all,

He said in reckless generosity.

You keep them for me,

Said Bettine sweetly.

I hope you dance next to me at the Maypole when Evangeline's Queen.

Won't it be lovely?

And she sighed.

Lovely,

Exploded William.

Won't you like it,

Said Bettine wonderingly.

Me,

Exploded William again,

Dancing around a pole round that old girl.

But she's so pretty.

No she isn't,

Said William firmly.

She just isn't,

Not much.

I don't like her nasty shiny hair and I don't like her nasty blue clothes and I don't like her nasty face and I don't like her nasty white shoes nor her nasty necklaces nor her nasty squeaky voice,

He paused.

Bettine drew a deep breath.

Go on some more,

She said.

I like listening to you.

Do you like her,

Said William.

No,

She's awful greedy.

Did you know she was awful greedy?

I can believe it,

Said William.

I can believe anything of anyone what talks in that squeaky voice.

Just watch her when she's eating cakes.

She goes on eating and eating and eating.

She'll bust and die one day then,

Prophesied William solemnly and I shan't be sorry.

But she'll look ever so beautiful when she's a May Queen.

You'd look nicer,

Said William.

Bettine's small pale face flamed.

Oh no,

She said.

Would you like to be a May Queen?

Oh yes,

She said.

Mmm,

Said William and returned to the discomfiture of Evangeline Fish.

The next day he had the opportunity of watching her eating cakes.

They met at the birthday party of a mutual classmate and Evangeline Fish took her stand by the table and consumed cakes with a perseverance and determination worthy of a nobler cause.

William accorded her a certain grudging admiration.

Not once did she falter or faint.

Iced cakes,

Cream cakes,

Pastries melted away before her and never did she lose her ethereal angelic appearance.

Tight golden ringlets,

Blue eyes,

Faintly flushed cheeks,

Vivid pale blue dress remained immaculate and unruffled and still she ate cakes.

William watched her in amazement for getting even to scowl at her.

Her capacity for cakes exceeded even William's and his was no mean one.

They had a rehearsal of the maypole dance and crowning the next day.

I want William Brown to hold the Queen's train,

Said Miss Dewhurst.

Me,

Said William in horror.

Do you mean me?

Yes dear,

It's a great honor to be asked to hold little Queen Evangeline's train.

I'm sure you feel very proud.

You must be her little courtier.

Ugh,

Said William,

Transferring his scowl to Miss Dewhurst.

Evangeline beamed.

She wanted William's admiration.

William was the only boy in the form who was not her slave.

She smiled at him sweetly.

I'm not good at holding trains,

Said William.

I don't like holding trains.

I've never been taught about holding trains.

I might do it wrong on the day and spoil it all.

I shouldn't like to spoil it all,

He added virtuously.

Oh,

We'll have heaps of practices,

Said Miss Dewhurst.

As he was going,

Bettine pressed a small apple into his hand.

A present for you,

She murmured.

I saved it from my dinner.

He was touched.

I'll give you something tomorrow,

He said,

Adding hastily,

If I can find anything.

They stood in silence until he had finished the apple.

I've left a lot on the core,

He said in a tone of unusual politeness,

Handing it to her.

Would you like to finish it?

No thank you,

William.

You look so nice holding her train.

I don't want to,

And I bet I won't.

You don't know the things I can do,

He said darkly.

Oh,

William,

She gasped in awe and admiration.

I'd hold your train if you was going to be queen,

He volunteered.

I wouldn't want you to hold my train,

She said earnestly.

I'd want you to be May King with me.

Yes,

Yes,

Why don't they have May Kings,

Said William,

Stung by this insult to his gender.

Why shouldn't there be a May King?

I expect they do really,

Only perhaps Miss Dewhurst doesn't know about it.

Well,

It doesn't seem sense not having May Kings,

Does it?

I wouldn't mind being May King if you was May Queen.

The rehearsal was,

On the whole,

A failure.

William Brown,

Don't hold the train so high.

No,

Not quite so low.

Don't stand so near the Queen,

William Brown.

No,

Not so far away either.

You'll pull the train off.

Walk when the Queen walks,

William Brown.

Don't stand still.

Sing up,

Please,

Train bearer.

No,

Not quite so loud.

That's deafening and not melodious.

In the end,

He was degraded from the position of train bearer to that of ordinary swain.

The swains were to be dressed in smocks and the maidens in print dresses and the maypole dance was to be performed around Evangeline Fish,

Who was to stand in queenly attire by the pole in the middle.

All the village was to be invited.

At the end of the rehearsal,

William came upon Bettine,

Once more gazing wistfully at Evangeline Fish,

Who was coquetting with many tosses of the fair ringlets before a crowd of admirers.

Isn't it lovely for her to be May Queen,

Said Bettine.

She's a rotten one,

Said William.

I'm jolly glad I've not to hold up her rotten old train and listen to her nasty squeaky voice singing Close to and I'll give you a present tomorrow.

He did.

He found a centipede in the garden and pressed it into her hand on the way to school.

They're jolly interesting,

He said.

Put it in a matchbox and make holes for its breath and it'll live ever so long.

It won't bite you if you hold it the right way.

And because she loved William,

She took it without even a shudder.

Evangeline Fish began to pursue William.

She grudged him bitterly to Bettine.

She pirouetted near him in her sky blue garments.

She tossed her ringlets about him.

She ogled him with her pale blue eyes.

And in the long school hours during which she dreamed at his desk or played games with his friends while highly paid instructors poured forth their wisdom for his benefit,

William evolved a plan.

Unfortunately,

Like most plans,

It required capital and William had no capital.

Occasionally,

William's elder brother Robert would supply a few shillings without inconvenient questions,

But it happened that Robert was ignoring William's existence at that time.

For Robert had,

Not for the first time,

Discovered his ideal and the ideal had been asked to lunch the previous week.

For days before,

Robert had made William's life miserable.

He had objected to William's unbrushed hair and unmanicured hands and untidy person and noisy habits.

He had bitterly demanded what she would think on being asked to a house where she might meet such an individual as William.

He had insisted that William should be taught habits of cleanliness and silence before she came.

He had hinted darkly that a man who had William for a brother was hampered considerably in his love affairs because she would think it was a queer kind of family where anyone like William was allowed to grow up.

He had reserved some of his fervour for the cook.

She must have a proper lunch,

Not stews and stuff they often had.

There must be three vegetables and there must be cheese straws.

Cook must learn to make better cheese straws.

And William,

Having swallowed insults for three whole days,

Planned vengeance.

It was a vengeance which only William could have planned or carried out.

But only William could have seized a moment just before lunch,

When the meal was dished up and cook happened to be out of the kitchen,

To carry the principal dishes down to the coal cellar and conceal them beneath the best nuts.

It is well to draw a veil over the next half hour.

Both William and the meal had vanished.

Robert tore his hair and appealed vainly to the heavens,

For what is cold tongue and coffee to offer to an ideal?

The meal was discovered during the afternoon in its resting place and given to William's mongrel,

Jumble,

Who crept about during the next few days in agonies of indigestion.

Robert had bitterly demanded of William why he went around the world spoiling people's lives and ruining their happiness.

He had implied that when William met with the one and only love of his life,

He need look for no help or assistance from him,

Robert,

Because he,

William,

Had dashed to the ground his,

Robert's,

Cup of happiness,

Because he'd never in his life met anyone before like Miss Lang and never would again.

And he,

William,

Had simply condemned him to a lonely and miserable old age,

Because who'd want to marry anyone that asked them to lunch and then gave them coffee and cold tongue?

And he'd never want to marry anyone else,

Because it was the one and only love of his life.

And he hoped that William would realize,

When he was old enough to realize,

What it meant to have your life spoiled and your happiness ruined all through coffee and tongue,

Because someone you'd never speak to again had hidden the lunch.

Whence it came that William,

Optimistic though he was,

Felt that any appeal to Robert for funds would be inopportune,

To say the least of it.

But Providence was on William's side for once.

An old uncle came to tea and gave William five shillings.

Going to dance at a Maypole,

I hear,

He chuckled.

Perhaps,

Was all William said.

His family were relieved by his meekness with regard to the May Day festival.

Sometimes William made such a foolish fuss about being dressed up and performing in public.

You know,

Dear,

Said his mother,

It's a dear old festival and quite an honour to take part in it.

And a smock is quite a nice manly garment.

Yes,

Mother,

Said William.

The day was fine.

A real May Day.

The Maypole was fixed up in the field near the school and the little performers were to change in the schoolroom.

William went out with his brown paper parcel of stage properties under his arm and stood gazing up the road by which Evangeline Fish must come to the school,

For Evangeline Fish would have to pass his gate.

Soon he saw her,

Her pale blue,

Radiant in the sun.

Hello,

He greeted her.

She simpered.

She had won him at last.

Waiting to walk to school with me,

William,

She said.

He still loitered.

You're awful early.

Am I?

I thought I was late.

I'm meant to be late.

I don't want to be too early.

I'm the most important person and I want to walk in after the others.

Then they'll all look at me.

She tossed her tightly wrought curls.

Come into our old shed a minute,

Said William.

I've got a present for you.

She blushed and ogled.

Oh,

William,

She said,

And followed him into the woodshed.

Look,

He said.

His uncle's five shillings had been well expended.

Rows of cakes lay round the shed.

Pastries and sugar cakes and iced cakes and currant cakes.

Have the lot,

Said William.

They're all for you.

Go on,

Eat them all.

You can eat and eat and eat.

There's lots and lots of time and they can't begin without you,

Can they?

Oh,

William,

She said.

She gloated over them.

Oh,

May I?

There's heaps of time,

Said William.

Go on,

Eat them all.

Her greedy eyes seemed to stand out of her head.

Oh,

She said in a rapture.

She sat down on the floor and began to eat,

Lost to everything but icing and currants and pastry.

William made for the door.

Then he paused,

Gazed wistfully at the feast,

Stepped back and,

Grabbing a cream bun in each hand,

Crept quietly away.

Bettine,

In her prince frock,

Was at the door of the school.

Hurry up,

She said anxiously.

You're going to be late.

The others are all out.

They're waiting to begin.

Miss Dewhurst's out there.

They've all come,

But you and the queen.

I stayed because you asked me to stay to help you.

He came in and shut the door.

You're going to be May Queen,

He announced firmly.

Me,

She said in amazement.

Yes,

And I'm going to be king.

He unwrapped his parcel.

Look,

He said.

He had ransacked his sister's bedroom.

Once,

Ethel had been to a fancy dress dance as a fairy.

Over Bettine's prince frock,

He drew a crumpled gauze slip with wings torn in several places.

On her brow,

He placed a tinsel crown at a rakish angle,

And she quivered with happiness.

Oh,

How lovely,

She said.

How lovely,

How lovely.

His own preparations were simpler.

He tied a red sash that he had taken off his sister's hat over his right shoulder and under his left arm on top of his smock.

Someone had once given him a small bus conductor's cap with a toy set of tickets and clippers.

He placed the cap upon his head with its peak over one eye.

It was the only official headgear he'd been able to procure.

Then he took a piece of burnt cork from his parcel and solemnly drew a fearsome military moustache upon his cheek and lip.

To William,

No kind of theatricals was complete without a corked moustache.

Then he took Bettine by the hand and led her out to the maypole.

The dancers were all waiting,

Holding the ribbons.

The audience was assembled and a murmur of conversation was rising from it.

It ceased abruptly as William and Bettine appeared.

William's father,

Mother and sister were in the front row.

Robert was not there.

Robert had declined to come to anything in which that little wretch was to perform.

He jolly well had enough of that little wretch to last his lifetime,

Thank you very much.

William and Bettine stepped solemnly hand in hand up to the little platform which had been provided for the May Queen.

Miss Dewhurst,

Who was chatting amicably to the parents until the last of her small performers should appear,

Seemed suddenly turned to stone with mouth gaping and eyes wide.

The old fiddler,

Who was rather short-sighted,

Struck up the strains and the dancers began to dance.

The audience relaxed,

Leaning back in their chairs to enjoy the scene.

Miss Dewhurst was still frozen.

There were murmured comments,

How curious to have that boy there,

A sort of attendant I suppose.

Yes,

Perhaps he's something allegorical,

A sort of pageant,

Good luck or something.

It's not quite the sort of thing I expected,

I must admit.

What do you think of the Queen's dress?

I always thought Miss Dewhurst had better taste.

Rather tawdry,

I call it.

I think the moustache is a mistake.

It gives quite a common look to the whole thing.

I wonder who he's meant to be.

Pam,

Do you think?

Uncertainly.

Oh no,

Nothing so pagan,

I hope,

Said an elderly matron,

Horrified.

He's that brown boy,

You know.

There always seems to be something odd about anything he's in.

I've noticed it often,

But I hope he's meant to be something more Christian than Pam,

Though one never knows these days,

She added darkly.

William's sister had recognised her possessions and was gasping in anger.

William's father,

Who knew William,

Was smiling sardonically.

William's mother was smiling proudly.

You're always running down William,

She said to the world in general,

But look at him now.

He's got a very important part and he said nothing about it at home.

I call it very nice and modest of him.

And what a dear little girl.

Bettine,

Standing on the platform with William's hand holding hers and the maypole dancers dancing around her,

Was radiant with pride and happiness.

And Evangeline Fish,

In the woodshed,

Was just beginning the last current cake.

Reviews

It has dawned on me. William is soo bad and yet underneath all his shenanigans , his heart is enormous. I had a hound exactly like that. You’re enormously exasperated one minute and the next (all of them, really) you can’t help but love them with all your heart. Thank you for another William gem, Mandy. 🙏❤️

Oh, he is a stitch! I hope there’s more William to come 🤩 thank you for more perfect reading choices🙏🏼❤️

How I love William; his brains and his heart ❤️. Looking forward to more. Thanks Mandy for making me smile today.

Love hearing you read the William stories. Having 3 grown sons the stories remind me of all the crazy times we had when they were young. Luckily for me they were not quite as imaginative as William! I really enjoy all your stories Mandy and look forward to seeing what you choose next! Thank you 😊

One wonders what career awaits William when he grows up, maybe a politician or a used car salesman?? He is very creative and clever! Thanks Mandy for this fun reading!