Loving You Is Easy – Contemplation

We sometimes grow to believe the lie that we must be perfect in order to be worthy of the love that we desire. This couldn’t be further from the truth — there are people who are so happy simply that you exist, who want to love you exactly as you are in this moment.
This contemplation is a gentle reminder that love doesn’t have to be hard. It may come with its challenges, yes; this is how we grow. But you are not difficult to love. For the right person, loving you is so easy.

Transcript

Gentle reminder, You do not need to be perfect to be worthy of love. Perfectionism can be so sneaky in the way it creeps in. It makes a home in all your most insecure pieces. The way you hold your shoulders just so when you step into a space you don't feel safe in, For example. The almost silent strain that comes into your voice. The jaw that remains tense, The fingers that need movement, But you keep it subtle, So subtle that no one can see. Perfectionism is especially insidious when applied to the way we hold ourselves. We think we must manage our every word, Our every action. If we don't, Perhaps history tells us that we won't be safe. If I'm not perfect, I'll get in trouble, We think. If I'm not perfect, I'll be attacked. If I'm not perfect, Everyone will leave me. Perfectionism is sneaky because it is subtle, Because it shows up in ways we do not see. It stems from the belief that we are only safe so long as we are the ones in control of our image, Of our action, Of our environment, Of the path we are taking through this life. It remembers how fragile life can be, Maybe. Yet, We forget what appears fragile can be unfathomably strong. Gentle reminder, You don't need to be perfect to be worthy of love. Maybe you have not experienced this yet. Maybe you grew up in spaces where perfection was expected, Demanded of you in ways you have not had time to fully parse through. Maybe it was a cloak handed down from mother to daughter, Father to son, The weight of pretending there was no weakness. Maybe you saw what slipped through the cracks of your family's facade, Yet there was no one there to validate what you witnessed. Maybe you felt alone in your own messy middle, The only one who could not quite get the story right. Truth is, Real love does not expect perfection. Love is the container that holds us, That allows us to grow even when we are weary. We are allowed to mess up. We are allowed to try, To slip, To fail, To try again, Knowing there will be warmth and kind hands waiting when we return home. If you had not yet experienced this kind of holding, I pray that you will, Because it changes everything. Gentle reminder, You don't need to be perfect to be worthy of love. I think of all the times I've told myself the lie of perfection, Held myself to standards I could not meet. I think, For me, Imperfection became an explanation. When I could not explain why someone would leave me, I assumed I had done something wrong. If only I could find my fatal flaw, I thought. Then I was sure to figure out why it had been so hard for me to find someplace I belonged. It is gritty work, Learning to love the parts of yourself that you are not proud of. It is uncomfortable to hold space for the one who was so afraid, So in pain. They did things you cannot fathom now. I look at photos of the girl I was then, And I am still learning to love her. I am still learning to say, My love, You did nothing to deserve that. You were doing the absolute best you could with what you had. You are not broken. You are not inherently flawed. You found a way to survive something impossible. I am in awe of your strength. We fear the criticism of others, Yet no one is a harsher critic than we are of ourselves. Of course, You spend every minute with you. You see things others cannot. Yet even when you are so aware of your own feelings, Do not underestimate how much you have given this world. You do not need to be perfect to have left an impression on someone's heart. There are people who have been so touched by your words, Your story, Your presence. They want to love you exactly as you are. Gentle reminder, You do not need to be perfect to be worthy of love. There are people who are so happy simply that you exist. People who are waiting for the next time they get to see you, Who can't wait to hear your voice, Who yearn to know your stories, Your secrets, Your dreams, The pain you carry through the night. There are people who are just waiting to tell you how much you mean to them. I think when love has not been easy, We assume it will always be hard. This could not be further from the truth. There will, Of course, Always be seasons, Months where you are asked to grow, To work through a thicket of thorns that has become tangled between you, Where your wounds ache or your scars show. And sometimes to move deeper into love, You must learn to embrace forgiveness, To be the one who is willing to let go of what happened when it is time. Love may come with its challenges. This is how we grow. But you are not difficult to love, No. For the right person, Loving you is so easy.