Breathe And Be Held Through The First Days Of Grief

This meditation is a gentle grounding practice for the first days of grief, when someone you love has died and your body feels shocked, breathless, or unsteady. You’ll be guided through slow, calming breaths to help soothe the nervous system and bring you back into your body, one moment at a time. A soft visualisation invites you to sense your loved one as light, held in peace, while you remain supported here in the present. You’ll finish with a simple prayer and a steadying return to your physical surroundings.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to this meditation.

This meditation is for you if you've recently lost someone that you love.

If someone that you love dearly has left this earthly realm and moved into the next place.

This meditation is for you if you're struggling for breath and you need to be steadied.

This meditation is for you.

I invite you to take a very deep breath.

Gently in through your nose.

Hold it at the top of your lungs.

Push it down into your belly.

Let's do that again,

Another two times.

In through the nose,

Hold.

Push the breath down into your belly and again.

In through the nose,

Hold.

Push the breath down into your belly.

I invite you to follow that breath down into your centre.

You try and feel that air as it goes into your belly.

It may be that it's felt trapped.

It may be that your breath has been shallow.

It may be that it's felt like you've not even really been breathing.

I just want you to try and really intentionally re-oxygenate your breath,

Your blood,

Your belly.

Let's take another breath in through the nose.

Push it down into the belly.

Death in all its forms can be deeply destabilising.

It doesn't matter whether it's been anticipated for a while or years or whether it's something that's come about abruptly.

The end of a soul's journey in this human mortal realm can seem irrationally finite,

Can seem almost ludicrous.

When someone who has been so vital,

So critical,

So important,

So much the fabric of one's world,

When that person can just cease to exist in their physical body,

It can seem almost farcical.

Very,

Very,

Difficult to get one's bodily brain around.

Not least because that experience of witnessing another human's death in this body reminds us of our own mortality.

I invite you to take another breath in deep through your nostrils.

Push it down hard into your belly.

Really feel that breath connecting with the core of your body,

Centring you,

Tethering you,

Reminding you that you're still here even though the person that you love may no longer be in their body.

You are still here in your body.

Even though the person that you love,

Their spirit,

Their soul,

Their divinity,

May no longer be inhabiting their mortal frame,

But yours is.

Yours is still here,

Still in this,

In this flesh and bone made up of stardust.

I invite you to see the light of your loved one,

The spirit of your loved one.

I invite you to see it not as trapped in a body,

But as a kaleidoscope of stardust,

Infinitely reconnecting with a divine creator,

Like water turning into steam.

It may not appear to still be the same matter,

But it hasn't gone,

Hasn't disappeared.

It's just transformed,

Reformed.

That spirit is still there.

Those particles of stardust combined with spirit and soul are still there.

Just positioning.

I invite you to see that light as transmorphing,

Growing in density and brilliance.

I invite you to see that light.

It's so bright.

It's so brilliant.

It draws your attention.

You can't avoid it.

Everything in you is called to inquire into that space of light,

That place,

Place where your loved one's light is moving towards,

Is so bright.

It's like a light that's just inexplicable.

There are no words to explain its brightness.

It's magnetism.

It's beautiful.

It's peaceful.

It's calling your loved one home.

It's calling you home too,

But you know it's not your time yet.

You know that your loved one is safe.

You know that your loved one is in a beautiful,

Warm,

Kind,

Peaceful place.

A place where the colors are so bright,

So beautiful.

A place where there is no fear,

No pain,

No human emotion.

Just completeness.

Just love.

It's like going back into the womb.

Do you remember when you were in the womb?

That sense of utter completeness.

You had everything you needed.

You wanted for nothing.

Your loved one is encased in a beautiful,

Bright,

Enchanted womb where they want for nothing.

Where they are complete with love and oneness.

They desire nothing because they have everything.

And they are at peace.

And you are at peace because you know they are at peace.

And you know that one day you will join them.

And that you too will share in this infinite peace.

This infinite kindness.

This place where everything makes sense.

Where there are no questions.

Where there is only light.

And in this place,

Although there is no human form,

All your ancestors dwell.

All those who will come dwell.

This place that we have come from,

That we will go back to.

But sometimes we can connect within dreams whilst we're here in this human realm.

In this place where we're learning where our souls are.

Visiting earth school,

As it were.

In our dreams.

In our trances.

We too can visit that space.

That place of light.

That place of infinite connection with the divine creator.

In our meditations.

In our dreams.

In our hearts.

We too can visit that place.

We can lie in peace with our loved ones.

We can choose to access that place at given times.

Times when it will help us to connect with our loved ones.

I invite you to breathe deeply in through your nose.

Hold breath at the top of your lungs.

Push it down into your body.

Know that whenever you feel unsteady.

Know that whenever you feel shaky.

Know that whenever you are doubting,

You can reconnect with this breath.

This centered place.

This tethered place.

This safe space.

This place of knowing.

Knowing that your loved one is safe.

Knowing that you are connected with them.

Knowing that they are at peace.

Knowing that you too can be at peace.

That you will be at peace.

Knowing that even though the searing pain of missing them is almost unbearably visceral.

Knowing that that embodied lived experience of having to exist in human form without their beating heart.

Knowing that that visceral pain is just a human emotion too.

Knowing that these are just human feelings.

That our loved ones no longer have to endure the visceral burden of human feelings.

Which can be an incredible gift too.

Knowing that our loved ones are free of the burden of physicality.

Knowing that their spirits are in that safe light place.

Place of connection.

Place of wholeness.

Place of completion.

Knowing that it is just us left behind in these human bodies.

That is feeling the pain.

Pain of separation.

Separation is a very human thing to feel.

But it is just a feeling.

Because when we strip the separation away.

And we connect with divine creator and invite love in through the divine creator.

And when we remind ourselves that separation is an illusion.

And we remember that we are one.

One and the same.

That we are part of this completeness.

We are just the water that has not yet turned into steam.

That has not yet evaporated.

That has not yet turned back into stardust.

We are one and the same.

Just in a different state.

Yet to bear witness to our own state change.

But we are one.

We are not separate.

We are one.

We are love.

We are complete.

We are together.

We are at peace.

We are one.

We are love.

We are together.

We are at peace.

I invite you to take a deep breath in through your nose.

Hold the breath at the top of your lungs.

Push it down into your belly.

Feel your belly fill with love.

Feel your belly fill with spirit.

Feel your belly fill with strength.

Feel your belly fill with warmth.

Take a deep breath in through your nose.

Hold at the top of your lungs.

Push down into your belly.

Gently begin to wiggle your fingers and toes.

Start to feel your body again.

Start to connect your breath with your fingers and toes.

Feel your skin.

Feel your physical being.

Remember that you are still here.

You're still in your body.

There will come a day when it's time for your state to change too,

But that day is not today.

You have more time to enjoy this physicality,

This body,

This way of being,

This embodiment of love.

This embodiment of spirit.

Your loved one's state may have changed.

Your loved one may have moved into the light,

But you are still here.

And you can bring some of that light inside you.

I invite you to take one more breath.

Breathe in deeply through the nostrils.

Imagine you're breathing in light,

Breathing in that kaleidoscope of stardust.

Pushing it down to every cell in your body.

Bringing that universal cosmic love,

That oneness,

Bringing it from the ether into your body,

Into your cells,

Into your human form.

Remembering that you are connected,

That we are connected.

That your loved one's light is shining bright.

And that you can keep some of that light burning bright inside you too.

I'd like to end this meditation with a prayer that is dear to me.

Dear God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Amen.

And so it is.

Thank you for meditating with me.

And please,

Wrap your arms around yourself,

Give yourself a big hug.

Know that we are one and that you are loved.

You are loved and you are safe.