Fear of Being Seen: 4 Questions to Move Forward

Have you ever wanted to post a video or maybe pitch yourself to others or speak up finally in that meeting but when you try,

You freeze?

Or maybe you find yourself procrastinating,

Overthinking what to say,

Or trying to perfect your script,

Or even worse,

Doing scroll on social media.

And if you're like many of the people that I work with,

You might start to judge yourself.

Maybe you start thinking that maybe I'm just lazy.

Or I'm not disciplined enough or not motivated enough.

Maybe you tell yourself,

I'm just not good enough.

But what if the real problem isn't the video or the pitch or the meeting environment?

Hi,

My name is Nandi.

I'm a certified Young in Life coach,

A mindfulness teacher,

And a wellness strategist.

And I help people like you to move towards what's calling you by guiding you through what's stopping you.

And one of the things that I often notice that keeps people from sharing their voice is the fear of being seen.

Sometimes making yourself visible,

Especially if it's new for you,

Can trigger old fears from your past.

Maybe it's the fear of being judged or criticized or rejected or maybe even being misunderstood.

There were times when I was terrified to create and post videos just like this.

I would delay,

I would rewrite my script a gazillion times or wait for that moment to finally feel ready.

But when I look deeper into it,

I realized that I wasn't afraid of posting.

I was afraid of being judged and criticized because when I was younger,

Expressing myself sometimes led to some painful moments of being judged and criticized by my parents.

And even now I'm an adult,

My body still remembers So there's no need to judge yourself if you procrastinate or freeze or make yourself small in those moments,

Especially when you want to be more visible.

Instead,

I want to invite you to get curious about what's happening.

I want to share four questions that I asked myself.

And sometimes my clients,

Whenever the fear of being seen comes up.

First,

Where do you feel it in your body?

Just simply notice where you feel it.

Maybe it's that tightness in your chest,

Maybe the knots in your stomach,

That lump in your throat.

Just notice it without judging it or trying to fix it.

And if the feelings feel overwhelming,

Just take a few deep breaths.

Try to make your exhales a little bit longer than your inhale to help calm your nervous system.

The second question to ask yourself is what story is this feeling or sensation telling me?

Maybe the story is I'm going to mess up.

People are going to judge me.

What if nobody cares?

What if I fail publicly?

All of that is normal.

The third question to ask yourself is what is this part of me afraid will happen?

Maybe this part is afraid of being laughed at or being rejected or dismissed or even abandoned.

And lastly,

Ask yourself,

If I knew I would be okay,

Even if I wasn't perfect,

Even if I mess up.

What small step could I take?

Maybe you remind yourself,

It's safe to express myself.

Maybe you record a 30 second video.

Maybe you practice pitching to someone that makes you feel safe.

The goal of this question isn't to push yourself past your trigger.

The goal is to notice what your body is trying to protect you from,

To be kind to yourself,

And to take one small step so your body knows it's safe to move forward.

Because your voice matters and there's someone out there who needs to see you and hear you.

Share with me in the comments below,

Where in your life are you being invited to let yourself be seen?

And I hope this video helps.

And until next time,

Bloom from the inside out.