Hi this is Waratah from Love Life Healing and I'm going to be presenting an eye gazing exercise which is a partnered exercise.
So to begin with you're going to get yourself comfortable,
Find yourself a comfortable place to sit.
Ideally you're sitting upright so if you need some support behind you,
You take that.
Both of you finding the comfortable place that you'd like to sit,
On a couch,
On the floor.
If you're going to sit on the floor give yourself a little bit of height to sit underneath you,
A bolster or some cushions or blankets.
And then what you're going to do is find the distance that you're comfortable sitting away from each other.
So just working out what that is,
It might be different for you both.
So finding that compromised place where you can sit comfortably in each other's presence,
Facing each other.
So settling yourself in and then allowing for your eyes to gently close.
With your eyes closed just noticing yourself sitting,
Noticing the weight of yourself sitting,
Just letting yourself really relax down into your seated posture.
I'm just going to take you through a body scan to help quieten the nervous system.
So bringing your awareness all the way down to your feet and allowing for the soles of your feet to soften,
Through your toes,
Through the tops of your feet and your ankles to release.
Through your shins and your calves,
Your lower legs to completely release any holding,
Any tension.
Through your knees and through your thighs and the whole of the legs,
Just letting go.
And then bringing your awareness to your pelvis.
Just taking a couple of deep breaths in here.
So as you breathe in,
Just filling the pelvis with the breath.
And as you breathe out,
Letting go of any tension through your hips,
Through your lower abdomen,
Through your genitals,
Through the perineum,
Through the anus,
Through the buttocks.
Just taking a couple of breaths here,
Really releasing any holding.
And then we're going to take a breath from the base of the spine,
Right up along the spine to the base of your skull.
So you're breathing up the spine and as you breathe out,
Letting the muscles along the spine soften and release.
So we'll do that a couple of times,
Breathing in from the base of the spine,
Right up to the base of the skull.
And then the exhalation,
Just letting go,
Softening through the back,
Through the muscles attached to the spine.
And one more time,
Breathing in a deep breath along the spine.
And then exhale and softening.
Letting go of any tension through your shoulders,
Through your arms,
So down through the upper arm,
The elbows.
Letting go through your forearms,
Through your wrists,
To the palms of your hands,
To your fingers,
To your thumbs.
Just letting the whole of the arms soften and release.
And then over the back of your head,
Over the top of your head,
The whole scalp,
Allow that to release.
Through your forehead,
Through your eyebrows,
Through your eyes,
Letting the eyes soften away from the eyelid.
Through your jaws,
Through your lips,
Letting go.
Your tongue,
Your throat soft.
Letting go through your chest,
Through your abdomen.
Just feeling that the whole body is relaxed.
Noticing the breath moving gently in and out of your body.
So in a moment,
Not just now,
But in a moment we're going to come to opening the eyes.
And what I'm going to ask you to do is find your partner's left eye gaze.
So at the moment,
With this completely relaxed body,
Your face is also relaxed.
And what happens quite often when we open the eyes,
When we look at another,
Or we're looked at by another,
Is we pull into a smile.
And it might be our eyes,
It might be our mouth,
But it's what I call your will you like me face.
So what I'm going to encourage you to do is actually to stay within the softness of your face.
And just let that mask,
If you like,
Just not be present here.
It's for this process.
So noticing the softness through your face.
Noticing the softness through your eyes,
Through your mouth.
And then before you open your eyes,
Just raising your left hand.
So with your left hand raised,
When you do come to opening your eyes,
Your partner's going to know which eye it is to look into.
And once you've opened your eyes,
Once your partner has found your left eye,
You can allow the left hand to drop down again.
So just taking a couple more breaths here,
Within this softness,
Within this quietness,
Within the relaxation of your body and your breath.
And as you're ready,
When you're ready,
You're going to gently,
Slowly open your eyes,
Finding your partner's left eye gaze.
Then allow for your left hand to release down.
And as you sit looking into your partner's left eye,
You might notice there's feelings that come up,
There's emotion that comes up,
You might feel embarrassment,
You might feel any number of things.
So just being aware of what's there.
Sometimes there's a vulnerability,
Sometimes there can be anything there.
And this is why this is such a powerful practice to do.
So noticing what's in you and just put it to the side.
Being present,
Being present with yourself,
The softness of your body,
The softness of your breath,
And being present with your partner.
So we're looking into and we're being looked into.
And just notice if you,
You know,
Feel uncomfortable,
You might want to close your eyes for a couple of breaths.
Sometimes we laugh or smile,
Which,
You know,
Hides an uncomfortability,
A vulnerability.
Just notice all the things that are there.
This practice gets easier the more you do it.
Sitting,
Gazing into another's eyes.
I'm just going to be here for another half a minute,
And you can go for as long as you like in this,
You know.
I generally recommend people to start with,
You know,
A shorter time and slowly build that up,
But it really doesn't have to be that long for it to be potent.
Maybe you want to finish before the end of that half minute,
And you can just allow your eyes to close softly.
If not,
Just stay with me or stay with each other for a little bit longer.
A few more breaths here.
Just basking in the beauty of this moment.
Taking three more breaths.
Steady,
Slow breaths.
And then allow for your eyes to gently close.
And with your eyes closed,
Just feeling how that feels in your body.
Just notice what's present.
There's nothing right,
There's nothing wrong.
Just noticing you,
Noticing this moment,
And noticing how that practice landed in you.
So take a couple more breaths here,
And then what I'm going to do is I'm going to encourage you to,
Or ask you,
To let your eyes gently open.
And one at a time,
Just having a bit of a conversation between the two of you as to how that felt,
How that was.
So I'm going to leave you here with that conversation for the two of you to have.
And thank you for joining me.
Enjoy this practice.
You can enjoy it.
I encourage couples to do it daily,
But at least a few times a week.
Thank you.
