When you try to figure out every possible bad thing that can go wrong,
Normally it's an attempt to exert some sort of control over the situation at hand,
Right?
Like,
Okay,
If I can think of everything that could go wrong,
Then I can plan for what I would do in those situations.
Which,
In certain situations,
I think it's important.
Like,
We're viewing with the people in your house,
What do we do if there's a fire,
Right?
Where do we meet?
How do we get out?
Where do we go?
So you're not trying to have those analytical thoughts in a stressful moment.
I think that's important.
But if you are going through every possible situation and scenario for just your day-to-day,
It's going to wear you out.
It's going to drain you.
You're going to get run down.
But when you recognize,
Like,
Oh,
This is how I'm trying to feel safe,
Right?
It's a trauma response.
Like,
I feel out of control,
And it's making my anxiety go up.
And to help myself feel calmer,
I need to do something to bring control back into,
You know,
I'm thinking about the balls in your court kind of concept here.
And then you ask yourself,
You get real with yourself.
What am I afraid of?
What is it that is,
Like,
That's driving that?
And then how can I surrender to it?
Sometimes that's the lesson that we're being asked to learn when we feel like we need to micromanage everything.
What if we just didn't?
What would happen?
And then we have to manage what I call internal dissonance.
Because then,
You know,
Like,
Dissonance when you have notes on a piano that are too close together,
And it makes that sound,
And you're like,
Oh,
That sounds horrible.
Don't play that again.
Well,
That's how I feel internally sometimes.
Like,
Oh,
This does not feel comfortable.
Okay,
How do I?
And so,
For an example,
My husband and I had this dichotomy where he would start cooking,
And then start freaking out,
And I would come in and save him,
Because I don't mind cooking,
So I'm just going to save you so you don't have to be dysregulated.
It's okay,
I will do it.
And then after,
I don't know,
15 years of that cycle,
It's like,
Okay,
Now I'm tired,
Because now I'm the only one cooking.
So to break that,
I have to tolerate my internal dissonance when he starts to lose his cool and sit with my uncomfortable sensations.
And now,
I think the kids prefer when he cooks,
Honestly,
You know,
But it was like this hidden gem that needed to be uncovered,
Which is normally what happens when we do shadow work.
We find,
Like,
Hidden gems.
Oh,
I didn't realize you were buried underneath all of that anxiety.
And,
You know,
Whatever else.
Why the kitchen triggered him,
We don't know.
We haven't gotten to that.
I don't think he's interested in figuring it out either,
But the kitchen triggered him.
Thank you so much,
Beautiful soul,
For tuning in and expanding your consciousness through this microdose of divine wisdom.
Until next time,
Stay empowered and in love and alignment.
