Hello and welcome to 5 Minutes in Nature with me Liz Scott on a glorious summer evening.
It feels like we really are having our stint of summer at the moment and as you know if you've heard me with my regular 5 Minutes in Nature,
The weather can be so changeable where I live in the southwest of England,
But we seem to have a bit of settled weather for a while.
And up here on the moorland of Dartmoor,
I'm just walking on my regular little walk that I take and you step up onto the moors and this wonderful wide open expanse with very very green hillsides at the moment.
They're thick with bracken and ferns and it's just a wonderful lovely expanse to look out on.
That's what I love about Dartmoor.
It's not like you've got houses or streets or little fields separated by hedgerows.
There is this wonderful expanse of land.
It's quite restful on the eye.
And if you remember we're looking at listening and we've looked at three aspects or we will be looking at the third aspect of listening today.
So the power of listening was what we looked at first of all,
Just how listening to someone is such a simple gift you can give.
And yesterday we explored how giving advice and solutions can actually have the opposite effect rather than help someone.
It can actually agitate them even further.
And today I'm going to sort of bring it all together with a metaphor that I use to share with people which they often find quite helpful to explain what's happening when it comes to listening.
Have you ever seen a snow globe?
A snow globe is something that you shake up.
It's often got an image inside it or a little scene inside it.
And there are little white flakes of glitter that when you shake up in this liquid,
They scatter all over the place.
And it looks like it's snowing inside this little bottle of plastic or glass.
The scene inside it looks like it's been covered in snow.
And this is such a really useful way of explaining what's happening in the mind when it comes to people wanting to be heard.
So imagine this snow globe and imagine that the answer that somebody is seeking is actually that little image inside the snow globe itself,
The scene inside the snow globe.
And when someone comes to you and they want to talk something through,
Well,
That's a little bit like they're coming to you and their snow globe is absolutely shaken up and they can't see anything apart from the snow.
In other words,
They can't see anything apart from the noise and the agitation in their mind.
So what happens when someone comes to you with a snow globe,
What they're really asking is they're asking you to help them settle.
And the best way you can help them settle is by listening.
That,
In a sense,
Is the equivalent of allowing somebody's snow globe to settle.
And as their snow globe settles,
The answer becomes apparent.
The scene inside the snow globe becomes clear.
And that's the metaphor for them seeing what they need to do themselves.
And most of the time,
People try and solve problems by thinking.
And all that happens when you or I or anybody tries to solve a problem through thinking is that's the equivalent of shaking up the snow globe further.
It's in the act of not thinking that answers emerge.
The intellect is a wonderful tool,
But when it comes to finding fresh answers,
It's not the place to put your attention.
When you listen to somebody,
But then you give advice and solutions,
That's like you're picking up their snow globe and shaking it.
You're actually agitating their process of settling.
And that's why the best thing I know to help someone find their own answers,
To find the next step forward,
The best thing I can offer them is to listen.
And my suggestion is that is the same for you too.
So today I hope that's been useful for you,
Just to sort of understand what's going on.
Metaphorically,
Of course,
When somebody comes to you with a problem or issue,
That's like their snow globe mind is shaken up.
And if you actually want them to get to the answer themselves,
Listen,
Listen to them,
Allow them to speak and don't offer advice and solutions.
As you can tell,
I am absolutely passionate about listening and I do hope you have enjoyed this little mini listening series.
