The Best I Have To Say

I have been a teacher on Insight Timer for a year and a half. In this 3-minute poem, I'd like to share with you the best I have to share on acceptance, self-esteem, trauma, and loneliness. Thank you for listening.

Transcript

If you are seeking wisdom,

Want peace to come your way,

I'd like to share with all of you the best I have to say.

I came to Insight as a teacher a year and a half ago,

With 24 PhDs in psychiatry and a million followers or so.

I'd been published in Swiss medical journals,

And I'd meditated into BET.

Insight Timer accepting me was really a fairly safe bet.

The truth is I'm a librarian,

And I applied because I was mad.

Meditate to deal with assault was said and said and said.

There were no meditations for survivors of sexual assault.

Nothing that applied to me.

It made me feel at fault.

Clearly in the meditation world,

If there was zero on this theme,

The fault was mine alone,

Or the wise would speak to me.

Focusing on chakras that were places of attack did not help my trauma.

It only brought it back.

I'd never made a recording.

I spent three months learning how,

In autistic self-learning software,

I was never going to wow.

The largest meditation site,

And I was trying to sneak inside,

To say what hadn't been said,

What I felt we were told to hide.

I have never had a PhD.

I've never been to Tibet.

I'm about as far from a teacher as you'll ever likely get.

I don't know how I got here,

And with every recording I make,

I'm convinced it is the day Insight will discover their mistake.

I can say that my English degree has now been put to use,

That my writing is what gets me through.

But I don't think that's the truth.

I don't think any value I have comes from being profound,

Comes from great credentials,

Comes from fans the world round.

The best I have to say is that I am hurting too.

The best I have to offer.

If I have value,

So do you.

I'm grateful to the teachers who really know their stuff,

Who have trained and tried and tested the ones who are up to snuff.

I am not that teacher.

I'll never have that sway.

But you are not alone.

I think that's what I'm here to say.

Reviews

Your value and wisdom shines thru your poetry. 🙏

I am so grateful this recording exists. I don’t even have the words. Thank you for making this

Incredibly potent + powerful. Thank you for voicing what so many struggle with. ❤️

Your truth and beauty shine through and I will share this with friends . I stand as a survivor not a victim anymore.. mine was emotional abuse which I escaped and left my home/apartment with clothes on my back and now help others in recovery years later in a home by the water with a kind husband and two grown daughters who are both doing well and giving love to their little ones. The chain can be broken ! Thank you 🙏 for your strength lies in your vulnerability! ❤️

I didn’t read the description I just liked your voice on the preview… but THIS was powerful! Thank you for being here and sharing! 💕

Thank you. And please always know that your best is always welcome and much, much MORE thank good enough.

Love brought you here.

Your best is everything! Very much enough.

Thank you.

Beautiful. Thank you for being here Liza, and I’m so grateful I found you and the wisdom you share.

A bit jarring, a bit unexpected. Strange to hear such honesty. It makes me want to say 'survivor', though I never use that word. What a thing to do. I'm very glad this was the action taken in the face of pain. I can only hope to ever be so generous.

You are the ònly one who speaks honestly about surviving sexual assault on IT. Your words give me a pulling up, to let me realize there is at ĺeast one person who knows what it is... to be squelched in a world of 'safe' teachings. I know I'm alive becaùse I feel so much pain inside me, but there is a very tiny spot that wished I had died. Thank you, thank you.

I'm without words right now. But I'll try. This is the most real, beautiful IT talk I've heard, Liza. And as a fellow teacher here on IT you inspire me.

This was beautiful. Brought me to tears and that was so helpful. Thank you.

Brave words. I’ve been raped twice- once at 15 then again at 22. I’m not a victim of what happened to me, because it wasn’t about me. I’ve been beaten to an inch of my life three times, which for me, was much worse than being raped. The fear and PTSD those assaults elicited are much worse. But I’m past those as well. I’ve carried that fear for decades until losing a man I still love broke me so hard that only meditation could fix me. I’ve been on IT since February of 2016 and I mediate every day. I’m not alone because it’s never been about me. I’m whole, I’m healthy and I’m safe now. I feel that there are dozens of meditations on here that help with trauma- maybe not naming it specifically, but certainly addressing it. I’ve cried through most of them and as my tears dried I healed just a little bit more.
So many people come here to heal, and I think you’re one of them. So welcome sister. No, YOU are not alone.
🦋🌼💐💝🧚🏼🪶🐾✨🌷🌸🌻🙏🏽🕊🌹🙏🏽

Thanks for another vulnerable and meaningful offering Liza. I sincerely hope you keep making your stuff and being you! It always resonates with me anyway 😊 Namaste sister 🙏🌹🌿

👏👏 BRAVO!!!!!!!!YOU ARE AWESOME!!!IM SICK OF HURTING. IM SICK OF HIDING. IM STILL AT: VICTIM OF CHILDHOOD SEXUAL ASSULT AND ABUSE TRYING DESPERATELY TO CROSS OVER TO SURVIVOR...SO CLOSE AND THANKS TO YOU BEING SO BRAVE TO PUT IT OUT HERE, IT MIGHT. BE SAFE TO SAY, I REACHED A PLACE I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD GET TO....SURVIVOR....ITS A HUGE STEP, A LEAP I COULDN'T DO ALONE.......THANK YOU FOR HOLDING MY HAND SO I WOULNT BE ALONE IN SUCH A PLACE AT ALL...