Truthtellers Call Out Narcissistic Behavior

Do you know a truthteller? A truthteller is someone who can see through the veils of personalities. They can't help but see, feel, and perceive the truth of someone's intentions. Truthtellers who are born to unhealthy and or narcissistic parents will be punished, ostracized, and invalidated for seeing what they see. If a truthteller holds on, and develops boundaries, as adults they become members of society that help us all grow and become the best versions of ourselves.

Transcript

Welcome to the breakdown to breakthrough podcast.

My name is Lisa a Romano.

I am a life coach best-selling author YouTube vlogger meditation teacher and expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse I am a believer in the power of an organized mind My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness Rather than living a reactive life May your heart feel blessed your mind feel expanded and your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here At the breakdown to breakthrough podcast.

So today we're going to be talking about the truth-teller when we're thinking about a truth-teller We're talking about somebody who sees through the nonsense We're talking about a family member who is not comfortable when things are swept under the rug oftentimes in a family dynamic if you grew up and let's say a dysfunctional home if your parents were emotionally immature if your parents were alcoholics if your parents were narcissistic if they were struggling with an addiction and Your sober parent was sweeping everything under the rug and acting like everything was fine What did that teach you to do that taught you that you can't tell the truth?

But if you're a truth-teller,

You can't not see the truth if you're a truth-teller It's driving you absolutely crazy to know that mom isn't telling the truth or dad isn't telling the truth I've had clients who have had a situation where dad has married someone who is obviously a gold-digger Obviously,

Obviously someone who really doesn't want his children involved in his life Obviously,

This is a woman who will do anything to sever his relationship with his children and you have for instance A client of mine who's like dad.

This is what's really going on why can't you see this and dad can't see it dad doesn't want to see it and And unfortunately,

The truth-teller is the one who is seen as the antagonist in the family The truth-teller is seen as the person causing the problem so oftentimes the truth-teller in a dysfunctional situation a situation that is not about Embracing people who are actually can tell the truth or who can see through the nonsense,

Right?

So if you come from a toxic family situation,

You might be the truth-teller who is perpetually sad or Or perpetually angry because no one is acknowledging what you say Really difficult to be a truth-teller in a situation when you are someone who can't not see the truth imagine being a truth-teller and Being raised by a family of truth-tellers and it's comfortable for you to like talk about what's really going on You're comfortable even with your flaws.

You're working on them and you know that everybody's got flaws You know that nobody's perfect and you walk into a situation maybe a new group of friends or maybe you walk into your new girlfriend's home and You notice that there's a bunch of nonsense happening there are people that are violating boundaries and you're the type of person who's just like that should never have been said or Why is that happening or why is your dad talking to your mom like that?

And why is your sister like throwing up in the bathroom?

Like why is this going on in your house?

And why isn't anybody saying like boundaries are being crossed and people's feelings are being hurt and Lies are being told and I'm being taken advantage of and I'm being manipulated and you're not saying anything Imagine being the truth-teller who is in that new situation This person is going to be completely confused if she or he does not have a good set of boundaries you can be a truth-teller and be supported your whole life and then walk into a situation where You become part of a family situation and it feels like you're in the twilight zone Like no one is telling the truth And if you're not careful if you don't hold on to your boundaries if you don't hold on to your sense of self If you don't recognize that there are just some people who live in toxicity and they've acclimated to it It's very often the case with adult children of alcoholics when you have for instance,

Let's just make it simple You have a mom who is an alcoholic.

You have a father who is highly codependent.

This person's an enabler.

He's a fixer He's a caretaker.

He sees himself as being a good partner by supporting his wife's alcoholism or Not setting boundaries with her not embarrassing her Buying her sneakers buying her pocketbooks buying her clothes taking care of the house like picking up all the slack and Never really putting any demands on his wife But what happens to the children in the situation?

The children are forced to think this is normal The children are forced to think that we don't say anything about the alcoholic when you grow up in a home where there's alcoholism the problems of the child children are trumped by the needs of the alcoholic so rather than a a embracing and telling the truth and like this is dysfunctional and we need to do something this person in our family is sick and their sickness is Infecting all of us and no one's going to be able to tell the truth soon Everyone's going to feel like they have to sweep everything under the rug they're going to think that the worst thing in the world is to tell the truth and Then children grow up thinking that the worst thing in the world to do is to let go and have fun or Tell the truth we grow up feeling like we have to stuff everything We have to get out ahead of all these problems that don't exist we start focusing on the potential problems so we're never living in the now and we were raised that way and We don't even realize that we're showing up in the world anxious that we are anticipating a problem that we don't know how to Have fun.

We don't know how to let go and this is what happens when you're raised in that type of an alcoholic home But when you bump into a truth teller,

Let's say that's you right You are the person that comes from this alcoholic home You bring home a truth teller as a friend and this person is not going to be able to unsee what they see They can't go there They can't live in denial and that's why they're oftentimes people who suffer deeply because they think am I wrong for?

Having this viewpoint.

No if you're a truth see see here,

We need you in society We need truth say or truth seers to say this is wrong And this should change and I think you really need to look at this the issue that a truth Seeker or truth seer will have is that not everybody can handle their bright light not everybody can handle their honesty not everybody that they deal with is going to be able to Assimilate what they're saying not everyone that they meet is going to welcome their ability to see through layers and generations of denial So the truth seer will be seen as an antagonist in a family like this.

That's really important So let's talk about the amazing power of being a truth seer a truth seer and a truth Teller is someone who has the ability to speak candidly about what's really going on They are our fresh of breath air if you allow them into your life if you know that you're someone who doesn't always tell the truth and has lived a life of shame and Trying to control everything and being afraid to let go afraid of vulnerability When you meet a truth seer or when you meet a truth teller?

It's a wonderful opportunity for you to allow their candor and their ability to see through layers of denial to help you awaken to help you grow so a truth teller is willing to communicate a Truth teller is willing to help you grow a truth teller is willing to help everyone grow that's why we need truth tellers in business because a truth teller is someone who is going to see a problem and I always say that you can't fix a problem unless you see a problem You can't fix a hole in the wall you don't see so we need true tellers in business We need truth tellers in family.

We need truth tellers in marriages We just need truth tellers because if we don't have truth tellers Then we all remain living below the veil of consciousness and none of us really get to grow So the benefit of knowing a truth teller and even being a truth teller is that this is someone who is willing to communicate?

And communicate effectively until problems get resolved another wonderful thing about a truth teller Is that this is someone who like makes it okay to make mistakes?

This is someone who makes it okay to be authentic This is someone who's like I know you're not perfect,

And I know you're going to make mistakes,

And that's okay But we can't ignore the mistakes we have to see what's really going on and that is wonderful if you know a truth teller Chances are you've experienced this in this relationship where this person makes it okay for you to be vulnerable They make you feel seen they make you feel heard and they make you feel like it's okay to just be you not Everybody can handle a truth teller if you are dealing with a spouse who lives in denial of how their family Operates the denial based shame based system that they operate in let's say you marry someone who has a narcissistic mom And you know that he is treating you or projecting onto you the wounds from childhood So he sees you as controlling and you're just like I just want to be on the same page like what's going on right?

But if the husband that you have was married to a narcissistic mother Oftentimes they can't see that because seeing that threatens their attachment to their mom and oftentimes Men who grew up with narcissistic mothers have been given this idea that if they challenge their mother They're going to be disowned.

There is something wrong with them.

And this is really painful We're talking about sons of narcissistic mothers And so if you marry someone who has a narcissistic mom Then he is not going to be able to see this barrier between the two of you And so it is an opportunity however If you are a truth teller if you are a truth seer truth seer it is an opportunity for you If you can hold on and if you can teach him what you see in a gentle way That is non abrasive that is non confrontational if you give this man this idea that we're on the same team And I'm not against your family I'm just trying to understand why it's so difficult for you to not see What I see and I'm wondering like how can we meet in the middle because we're on the same team this way It's less frightening for this man to see the barricade to the relationship that you have with him Which is the truth the mom's a narcissist mom's taking advantage of him his whole life mom has manipulated Manipulated him mom has turned him into a puppy dog mom has turned him into a domestic slave Mom has turned him into her emotional support dog like it's not easy for men to see this when They have a narcissistic mom,

But a truth teller.

Let's say you're the truth teller.

You're the truth seer You're the wife when you see this.

It's really an opportunity for your husband to grow It's an opportunity for your partner to grow But be prepared oftentimes when a wife sees something and her husband can't see it And especially if has something to do with his mom They oftentimes reject it and it makes sense right because your opinion of his mom threatens His idea of an attachment to her so if you're a truth teller and You're seeing issues in your relationship or family dynamics Just take it slow It's not always easy for people who are grown up in denial based family systems to accept the truth in fact It's almost impossible in the beginning you as a truth teller Give everybody that you know an opportunity to overcome to challenge themselves to become Better than they are or were yesterday That's the benefit of knowing a truth teller being married to a truth teller But that doesn't mean that that path is easy oftentimes It's a very difficult road oftentimes truth tellers are given this idea that there's something wrong with them.

They're too critical They are too judgmental these the words that are used when you're dealing with someone who doesn't appreciate the fact that you can see through the layers of nonsense if you're a truth teller in a Family or if you're a truth teller in a circle of friends And you don't like the way you're being treated treated Or you see that one friend is taking advantage of the entire group if your group Doesn't appreciate that you're a truth teller then they turn on you they act like you're the one with the problem They accuse you of being of judge judgmental.

I it's really not fair so if you're a truth teller It's important that you know who you are and you know that you've come to be a cycle breaker You've come to be a system buster,

But hold on to yourself and don't let other people's opinions of you penetrate use emotional discernment when you Notice that your truth is being rejected When you know that you're seeing something that other people aren't willing to see Don't get caught up trying to defend your position Don't get caught up trying to change other people Try to accept where people are and you have to decide whether or not the relationship that you're in is worth it You might be in a relationship with someone who's like yeah,

I see it I never saw it before and thank you,

And yeah,

We're on the same team,

And it's gonna be fine This is someone who's gonna allow you to lead which is amazing so just be steady as you go And you're also going to have to emotionally discern Whether you're with people who are just gonna try to like beat you down Mentally and emotionally and drain you and tell you that you're negative that you're making things up.

It's all in your head You're such a negative person.

Yeah,

You're only telling the truth You're only saying what you see but when you're dealing with people who want to dominate you who want to control you and Basically want you to live in the twilight zone with them Then they will ridicule you they will criticize you they will try to get you to Live by their oppressive rules,

And you just can't do that I was a part of a system like that and I tried my best to not see what I saw but I can tell you it made me so physically ill that my body started to fail and I truly truly believe that had I not gotten out of that fake system if I had not gotten out of a System that was so dis eased if I had not gotten out of a system That wanted me to keep pulling the wool over my eyes and not see what I saw I might not be here today So there is a consequence of not trusting yourself there is a consequence of not living your authentic life,

And if you are a truth teller you've come to tell the truth and Do that hold on to your truth no matter what anybody else says hold on to your truth And if you hold on to your truth And you believe in yourself,

And you use the spirit of discernment to navigate does this feel right is this feel bad Does this person receive me or this person reject me don't hang out with people who reject you dear one that is not why you've Been put on this beautiful green earth that is not why you've been incarnated on planet Earth That is not why you have a light within you you have a light and it's meant to shine But it's up to you to use your mind to figure out whether you are you are paddling upstream or you're paddling downstream That's your right and in the beginning it could be really scary to paddle away from the crowd But you have to trust that if you're a truth teller there is another tribe waiting to embrace you in fact There are going to be people who actually want your wisdom that are going to want you to tell them what they're doing wrong They're going to want your perception.

They're going to want you to see what you see They're going to want you to help them see what they can't see in fact.

That's what I do all day long I help my clients see what they can't see and it's wonderful to be Appreciated and embraced by people who respect the truth teller that I am To respect the seer that I am and it's just beautiful and had I hung on to what I'd known And I had I hung on to what was so painful because I was too afraid of the unknown I wouldn't be where I am so I really hope that this has encouraged you I really hope that if you're a truth teller you keep telling the truth dear one and Know that you are on the right path We have not come here to live in the dark to remain below the veil of consciousness or to not Get to our personal truth.

So shine on dear one shine on namaste until next time

Reviews

Very informative! Never knew that a person was identified as this and can finally relate to being a Truth Seeker myself due to growing up with nonsense & dramas! Thank you 🙏🤗

Powerful & encouraging. Thank you.

Oh Lisa… I feel the Universe speaking to me through you so completely in this one. I’m so grateful for this post. I’m so glad I opened the app this morning. Thank you💖

Always helpful

Thanks for sharing ❤️

I was born a truth teller into a very emotionally disfunctional family. I don’t know how but even as a young girl I challenged my parents if something they said to me felt off. I was shamed, criticized, gossiped about and had zero support. I grew myself up with angels on my shoulder who guided me. I’ve done so much healing and wound work release and Ikeep growing…..and today I can truly say I stand in my truth and no one can push me around. I love living empowered. Gaslighters don’t stand a chance in my life. Yes Im ostracized, yes I’ve been fired from jobs with narc people for standing in my truth…yes people are threatened by my energy…... I can NEVER be fake and never dishonor my soul by allowing low vibrational people into my life. I have no close friends by choice…. It’s a challenge to find people who value truth here in the US. Fortunately I’m very content with my own company…. society is narc based…..… For me there is no other way for my Soul’s ongoing evolution but staying a truth teller. It’s amazing to see how people flee when you tell them the truth.

Enlightening. Thanks you for validating this experience. 🙏✨⭐️✨

🙏🏻💜

Thank you for being a truth teller! It is quite humbling to hear someone actually sees the truth. My experience has been a ton of shaming for speaking and especially feeling. I could not really understand the situation as a child because I was always wrong. So of course thst is the program that I continue to shift with your work and guidance. It’s not like one can stop being who they are. Accepting the gifts we have is refreshing and peaceful to allow self care and reflection. A wonderful share on what programming does and how the light comes through when you surrender to it. Thank you for bringing the light out of the hell fir many. ❤️💃💯🙏

So helpful. My spirit called this truth telling message in. Thank you

So uplifting! Thank you 🩷