Karmic Benefits Of Forgiveness

Anger is a valid and appropriate emotion. Anger helps us identify when someone has crossed a boundary. It also helps us identify when a boundary needs to be set in place. However, when anger turns into resentment, we don't always realize how the energy associated with anger weighs us down spiritually. In this episode, Lisa helps us understand the karmic benefits of forgiveness. "Spirits fly and egos collect rocks."

Transcript

Welcome to the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.

My name is Lisa A.

Romano.

I am a life coach,

Bestselling author,

YouTube vlogger,

Meditation teacher,

And expert in the field of codependency and narcissistic abuse.

I am a believer in the power of an organized mind.

My aim is to help people learn what it means to live above the veil of consciousness rather than living a reactive life.

May your heart feel blessed,

Your mind feel expanded,

And your spirit find hope as you spend time with me here at the Breakdown to Breakthrough podcast.

So today we're going to be talking about forgiveness and exploring what forgiveness means and what is it about forgiveness that is so healing and so beneficial to the person who is in need of forgiving someone else.

So when I think about the word forgiving,

I break it down and I say,

Okay,

It's for give.

So something's being given.

Now I think a lot of us are stuck with forgiving someone who has hurt us because emotionally,

Energetically,

Spiritually,

Psychologically,

Someone who needs to be forgiven has already taken from us.

There's already some type of deficit.

So if you think of forgiveness as in a bank account,

Right?

So think about in order for you to forgive someone,

You have to go into this bank account that you own with this person,

Your partner or whoever it is that hurt you,

Wounded you,

Did this terrible thing to you.

You have this relationship with them now because of this offense.

And the energy between the two of you can be seen as a bank account.

Now the person who has offended you has made withdrawals.

There are deficits in this bank account.

This person is drawn from this energetic bank account.

And now in order to forgive this debt,

You have to give more of yourself to this experience.

And it doesn't feel right.

It doesn't feel right to have to give to and experience more of yourself in order to leave it.

But if you think about it as a debt,

So imagine getting into credit card debt because your partner was irresponsible.

And now the bank is after you and now they want to take your house away from you.

And now you feel unfair.

It feels unfair that now you have to come up with this extra money in order to alleviate this debt so that you can experience peace.

And you know that your partner isn't going to do it.

Your parents aren't going to rescue you.

The government isn't going to bail you out.

Essentially there's no rescue boat coming.

And you realize that the only way to alleviate this debt is if you add more to this situation than you should have to.

What you do because it's the only way you know that you will experience peace.

In some situations like that,

You might walk away from the relationship and deem it irresponsible and unfair.

And that would be completely understanding if that's what you decided to do.

And so when we think about forgiveness and we think about forgiving alone or forgiving a debt just for the sake of peace,

It's sort of the same thing.

Or we can think about it in a similar way.

In order for me to experience peace and contentment in my life,

I have to somehow forgive this experience.

When I say forgive,

I mean that I have to accept it,

Accept what I cannot change.

And I have to clearly look the situation in the face and understand that when I let this go,

I'm clearing the debt between the two of us.

Because when there is an offense,

There's an energetic debt.

There's an energetic dent.

There has been an experience of taking energy from you.

And when you muster up the energy of forgiveness,

You clear that debt.

The bank is not going to hound you anymore.

You're not going to live in anger or resentment anymore.

You literally clear this debt,

This spiritual debt,

And you do it for you.

You don't do it for the other person.

You do it for yourself.

The other person will be freed of their debt to you.

However,

Because karma is real and all karma is,

It's not some new age concept.

It's basically law,

Like attracting like.

When you release yourself from this person's experience and this experience of offense,

Whatever they've done to you,

You release this person to their own karma.

Now we don't do this to hurt this person.

We do this to get out of the way so that this person can learn their lessons.

When we hold on to anger,

We are energetically preventing this person from experiencing their karma in as quick a way as they possibly could.

When we go back at someone,

When we go back and forth at someone,

When we get into these big arguments with someone,

When we stay locked in dynamics that are dysfunctional,

We're preventing this person from learning what it is they need to learn.

Because anger and resentment act like static energy.

There's no flow.

And when you deliberately choose to release yourself from this experience with this person through forgiveness,

This person is released.

It is so difficult to forgive someone,

To think about giving more energy to an experience who has cheated on you,

Who has lied to you,

Who has stolen from you,

Who has abandoned you.

It is so difficult because our personality,

The ego wants to hold on because holding on to anger makes us feel safe.

But over the years,

This person,

Me,

This woman,

I've learned that anger is like hot bricks in my back pocket.

The anger makes you feel safer,

But it truly destroys you from the inside out because it prevents you from experiencing complete abundance and complete joy.

And anger and resentment,

If you think about your spirit as a dove,

Anger and resentment are like imagined strings around the wings of this dove that you are.

And these strings are attached to bricks or cinder blocks.

And it's just so high that you'll be able to fly as you hold on to this anger and this resentment and this criticism.

All of these emotions and perceptions,

They are perceptions.

They are egoic perceptions.

Our self knows that the most important thing that you can do is forgive and let go and move on.

The ego that is wounded,

That is afraid of becoming wounded again,

Holds on.

So there is a disconnect between ego and higher self,

And that's normal.

When you're wounded and your heart hurts and you've been abandoned,

It's absolutely normal for a human being to hold on to this experience.

But for those who are on a spiritual path,

Who are on the path of personal development,

We must understand that holding on prevents us from experiencing spiritual growth,

Personal abundance and joy.

Joy does not entertain not forgiving.

Joy does not entertain resentment.

It doesn't mean that joy and abundance of mind and whatnot are constant states of consciousness for a human being.

That is the goal.

The goal is to milk as many moments of abundance and joy for as long as you possibly can,

Dragging those experiences out,

Milking those experiences so you experience abundance for longer periods of time.

That's a beautiful thing.

But we have to understand and respect that we're also human.

We're flesh.

We have a default mode network in the brain.

We have a brain that is mostly unconscious and runs on autopilot.

So there will be moments where it's more difficult for us to be joyful and to not be angry.

That's normal.

It's important to not beat yourself up because those moments show up.

As long as you are consciously and deliberately trying to let go,

Considering what it means to forgive,

Clearing that debt,

Clearing that karma between you and that person,

You're on the right path.

It is difficult to forgive.

It's difficult to forgive a parent who has narcissistically abused you.

It is difficult to forgive parents who have stolen your childhood.

It is difficult to forgive a spouse who has cheated on you or a best friend who has slept with your boyfriend or a sibling who has launched a smear campaign against you.

It is difficult to forgive people who lie about you on the internet,

Who make up complete stories or twist things.

It's absolutely difficult to do that.

Like I said,

Ego,

If we hold on,

Then it makes us feel safe in an unpredictable world.

And forgiving feels like we're giving this person a pass.

But that is the eyes of ego.

That is what ego will tell you because ego doesn't want you to let go.

Ego feels safer feeling like the world is unpredictable.

Ego knows how to behave in an unpredictable,

Cruel world.

It knows to cling.

It knows to reject.

It knows to criticize.

It knows to hold on to anger.

It knows how to fight.

Higher self wants ego to let go.

But ego will battle higher self because higher self is the definition of ego death.

We must come to terms with this idea that we have an ego.

It's normal.

It's part of the human unconscious personality,

But it's not you.

It's not us.

And we have to understand that ego will battle higher self because ego doesn't want to die.

And ego will hold on to anger and frustration tighter until higher self has proven that it is possible to live in a world without anger and without being consumed by anger.

Forgiveness is part of every human soul's evolution of consciousness and spiritual journey.

And I just hope that this episode and this podcast has helped you recognize the benefits of forgiveness.

Understanding the benefits of forgiveness will help the default mode network in your brain work towards wanting to forgive.

Once your brain associates pleasure with forgiveness,

It's far easier to get your personality and your ego on board.

Namaste,

Dear ones.

Until next time.

Bye for now.

Reviews

Great lesson.

This was very helpful, thank you! I have found your talks very insightful and inspiring in my work to heal childhood wounds. In addition to your talks about recognizing and detaching from unhealthy relationships, I would love to see more like this one, to help us learn how to exist in and maintain a healthy relationship when we never had role models of what that means or how to do that, and are flying a bit blind.

Sooooo good. Thank you! Now I'm on the hunt for letting hurt go

Insightful and wise words! I’m going to re-listen to this one over again. It is so applicable to a life situation I find myself in which requires me to forgive one who has injured me (and continues to try todo so).

I love Lisa’s work! Thank you Lisa!!!

I will listen to this one repeatedly. Thank you

Love all your talks. Perfectly apply in my life now. Thanks for being out there and spreading the good words!!! With love and light.

Brilliant. So insightful. Thank you for giving this. Namaste 🙏❤

🙏 Thank you - I needed to hear this today x

Thank you for this tool to forge the freedom of forgiveness.Namaste🦋🌈

Wow I almost can't believe how timely this is, yesterday I was asking forbthe discernment to know when my ego is in the driving seat and how to be less of a 'vessel' for my 'triggers' and unconscious reactions. I had the intention of listening to a guided meditation but ended up seeing the notification for this! Thank you so much for this message and taking the time to explain everything. Things seem so much clearer right now.

An excellent reminder of powerlessness over others, their behaviour and what is said. Thank you for the solution of letting go and living The Best Life NOW and not re-thinking that which I cannot change. Thank you

Thank you thank you!!! Namaste🙏

Exactly what I needed to hear thank you❤️

Thank you! That was extremely helpful for me! Thank you!

Excellent points. Hoarded anger only damages the one who hoards it. Releasing it allows the universe to recycle it into abundant, joyful experiences. Thank you!! 🙏🏻😊

Thank you for this reminder. I watched unforgiveness make my mother unhealthy and sicker as she got older. Carrying all that excess emotional baggage and negative energy debt was so detrimental to her spirit. I am trying very hard to not follow her example and to learn a better way.

Such an important podcast. I’m sad thinking of all the people I know that need to hear this but never will. I woke up a three years ago at age 65 and my life changed in ways I could never imagine. There is joy in forgiveness! Namaste. 💜