Healing Narcissistic Abuse Through Mindfulness

Healing from narcissistic abuse through mindfulness involves reclaiming control of your consciousness and preventing a toxic person from manipulating your emotions and thoughts. Narcissistic abuse inflicts doubt, brain fog, cognitive dissonance, and mental confusion. Elevating consciousness helps you navigate and avoid narcissistic mind games.

Lisa A. Romano explains how mindfulness facilitates healing from narcissistic abuse, addressing the power of learning to master your awareness and elevate your consciousness.

Transcript

Today I want to discuss a very important topic and as a life coach and as a woman who has progressed through many dysfunctional relationships and who is now finally in a healthy relationship with myself and who works every day at having a better relationship with my body.

For instance,

Having a better relationship with food,

Having a healthier relationship with finances,

Just really taking responsibility for my life in every area.

I can tell you that I have learned to understand the power of recognizing how often we give our internal power over to other people.

When we come from homes that are neglectful,

Ultimately abandonment and rejection are the ultimate form of abuse and we are a society of people who have grown up feeling forgotten as children and that's not to say we're whining,

That's not to say that we're ungrateful,

It's to say that we are becoming a community of people who are awakening to the needs,

The true needs of children and to the consequences of growing up feeling invisible.

While there may be some of us who get stuck in the trap of for me why did this happen to me and never get out,

Although feeling sorry for yourself and why me I believe are part of the journey of self-discovery and personal development.

There is a time where we have to ask how could you have done this to me.

That is us renegotiating our ego boundaries,

That is us saying hey here I am and I matter.

The danger is that there are some of us who will get stuck in that,

Die in that and never recover from that and that's really sad because it's a missed opportunity to have a spiritual and emotional and cognitive neurological awakening where we can experience a true transformation and so I hope that if you were someone who's experienced early childhood trauma that you are becoming very aware of where you stand on that spectrum of healing.

While it makes sense that we hold other people accountable at least in our minds,

It doesn't mean that we go embarrass our parents on Facebook,

It doesn't mean that we take out a billboard and say look what my mother did,

That's not what this is about.

This is about recognizing what happened to us,

It's about recognizing how we got here and I'm someone that believes that as you come from micro to macro which means that you're on the healing path for life because healing is an expansive journey and it is so profound when you decide that your evolution is forever because you just get better and better,

You just get more peaceful and more peaceful.

There is no downside to committing to the soul growth journey or the personal development journey,

The healing journey.

There is no downside except that you are not someone who has their eye on their goal and the goal is to heal and part of the healing is to let go and to live in such a high state of consciousness that you understand that what happened to you is not your fault and you can even see the paradigms and the patterns and the programs that those who hurt you they lived in as child so you start to understand that it could be no other way,

Not your fault,

But there is if you are someone who's like I want to move beyond this then while you're healing you have your eye on the goal.

I wanted to address this idea of how narcissists can control your state of consciousness and if you can grasp this then you're someone who is going to accelerate on the healing path.

So the mind is very simple and complex at the same time.

What we experience as children is perceived through basically sensory faculties,

Perceptual faculties.

We are inundated with data and stimuli through our five senses from the moment we're born and there is a processor and within our brain and within our mind it's absolutely a default processor that Creator has endowed within us so that we as this being this consciousness being infants have or newborns have a consciousness of I am I am here.

Everything that happens to a newborn they believe is self-directed.

They can't separate themselves from their mother their father from the room so if they feel pain they believe it's self generated.

Imagine how confusing that is for a newborn.

Now as a child ages by the time that they're two and three years old they develop an ego.

Ego is that part of our personality that understands we are separate from our parents and the world around us and we need them.

An ego is that part of us that understands that there are rules and norms that we have to pay attention to in order to a avoid pain and be to survive.

Very simple but yet complex process that a little child has to understand or adhere to by the time that they're three.

By the time a child is five they have an inner narrative.

They have patterns and programs that have been downloaded into the subconscious mind as language patterns.

This becomes our inner voice.

This is a voice that tells us that we're doing something wrong that we're so dumb why didn't we know that was going to happen or we should have known that was going to happen.

That critical inner voice develops by the time that we're five and the narrative comes from the family norms what has been downloaded into this child's experience through repetition observation and consistency.

By the time that we're seven and we go off into first grade kindergarten second grade we are taking this inner narrative with us.

If we do not by the time that we are 12 years old have a turnaround then by the time that we're 12 this narrative becomes a foundation for our subconscious belief systems.

Now beliefs are really incredible.

It's even biblical.

This idea that and it's even quantum as a matter of fact so whether you're looking into quantum mechanics or you're looking for answers in the biblical arena the spiritual arena even even if you're looking in the philosophical arena you will eventually come to a place where you recognize that beliefs are where it's at.

That the perceiver of the belief system.

You have to understand that within you are the beliefs and then there this there is this ego perceiver of these beliefs and then there is a silent observer that I try to milk within my state of consciousness each and every day and I hope that if you've been listening to me for a long time you get that.

There are the beliefs of the inner child then there is the perceiver of this narrative thus the ego and then you actually have the ability to through metacognition to milk the observer or the silent witness who can then from outside of the mind through a higher state of consciousness observe the workings of the ego story.

We can even observe our emotions all without reacting to them.

Super super powerful and so what we believe through the eyes of the perceiver who is generally unconscious I would say 95% even maybe even higher most people are unconscious their ego has a story the story runs in their mind they don't realize that the mind is like a ticker tape it's like watching Bravo television it's just on and without a consciousness flipping that switch then the old story is going to play out.

That's the power of healing at the neurological and at the subconscious level.

That's the power of consciously healing understanding consciousness as part of the healing journey and so now most people don't understand that their ego is telling a story that the perceiver within them is believing this story and acting out that story in the 3d world.

The issue that we have that we don't even know that we have is that what I believe I tend to see through the observer effect in the quantum field.

Now people can say oh I don't believe in the quantum field well that's kind of silly you know and and say that after you've researched the quantum field because everything in this world vibrates the planet that we're on is vibrating if you look up into the sky you see other planets it's there's no foundation in other words our planet is hanging out in space just like the rest of the planets so everything is subatomic everything has a charge and everything vibrates so to say that I don't believe in the observer effect or I don't think that quantum mechanics affects me is very short-sighted this is someone who has not studied quantum mechanics this is someone who does not understand the concept of energy and so dear one your emotions are energy emotion and they have an effect on the quantum field just like any other form of energy and science is finally coming to realize that there's this big talk in the psychological community and those who are interested in consciousness as it relates to reality so why is this important to you if you follow my work well if you've been abused by a narcissist then what I want you to understand is that you are running on fear they have controlled your level or your state of awareness and so when you have codependency for instance and you have a preoccupation with what other people think about you then you are arrested at that level of consciousness so at that level of consciousness you are not highly conscious of how your mind is working in essence your you your ego is simply reacting to that level of awareness so for instance if I have or if I live with someone who gaslights me and I did and if I live with someone who stonewalls me and I did if I live with someone who's passive-aggressive and I did I am full of frustration as a codependent as a emotional abuse survivors psychological abuse survivor as someone who grew up severely starved for nurturing I as an adult woman am absolutely obsessed with the emotions of others because I fear abandonment and I'm seeking some sense of attachment I'm not wrong because I'm seeking a sense of attachment I have been psychologically built to seek attachment however this is an unconscious psychological process it is also neurological and it is also based on beliefs so when you study quantum mechanics you begin to understand that what people believe is all that they can see in the quantum field ever have an experience where you read a text message and you believed it said something only to reread it later and it actually said something else in those moments those early moments when you read that text message whether you realize it or not you were in a certain state of consciousness and in a certain reality and had you not reread that text you may have spoken to the person who wrote you that text in a negative way you may have set off a chain of events that mirrored the perception of reality in your head that was not true and unless you had that moment of clarity where you stopped and you paused and you reread the text you would have by default actually stepped into the creation process of creating what you believed you believe this person disliked you that you believe this this person had a vendetta against you you would have went out into the world with those feelings and treated that person as if that was true you may have called your best friend and had that conversation all outside of consciousness you were actually creating that reality that you believed even though it may not have ever been true when you were dealing with people who are highly toxic highly narcissistic you must understand that when your emotions become involved you are operating dynamic natural laws that govern time and space so for someone like me who was dealing with someone who was highly I believe maybe was just frustrated by me or maybe he was a vulnerable narcissist or had high vulnerable narcissistic traits and on top of my people-pleasing my thinking that I'm right my thinking that if I do this for you you shouldn't actually want to do this for me not seeing things clearly not being very mature in my relationship it was a very bad combination but I can tell you that my fear of his disapproval arrested me and that's all I could fear that's all I could think so I was stuck in a loop so in essence I was living a subconscious autopilot life that is the danger of being in a toxic relationship because it arrests you at a state of consciousness that can only deliver you what you have experienced in the past until you understand that concept you cannot break through you cannot break free so if you live with someone who's highly toxic do you want I ask you to step out of the reactionary thoughts that you have I ask you to begin considering the thoughts that you have I ask you to start observing the thoughts that you're having from a detached observer develop the ability to witness what you witness find the space between your thoughts learn to slow everything down because your thoughts are like bullets out of a gun they are like trains that are traveling at 10,

000 miles an hour now when you think about thoughts I want you to think about the neurological pathways in your brain are loop like what you think you feel you believe and right back to what you think you believe and what you feel and what you see it's a feedback system and only a controlled mind can interrupt that feedback system do you want the power to heal your life the power to heal your mind is within you you just need knowledge wisdom support and training we got this namaste until next time

Reviews

Thank you Lisa,
Here I am again 😝
On the journey of learning and being meek.
This was amazing to go deeper and underhand the subtleties. It's important to stay aware. Pay attention. Going no contact again! When will I learn? You are my lifeline. I'm getting better at it. I'm excited to grow. Thank you so much. ❤️💃💃

Mind blowing!
Thanks for the reminders. 🙏🏻

Thank you 🙏🏽

Always spot on!

Thank you.

Wow! Thank you for explaining that to me. So helpful

Wow I deeply resonated with this and gained a lot of insights. Will be listening again, this is magical stuff. I am a therapist and this will help me support my own and my patients understanding. Eternally grateful, thank you Lisa! 💚✨🙌🙏

I love Lisa. She has helped me to understand myself and my actions. Thank you!

Thank you Lisa I’m saddened but also relieved to know that I’m not the only one who knows exactly what you mean about growing up with narc abuse and I’m learning a lot even though I wish I knew this stuff years ago
Thank you a million times over
“We got this” 🙏🫶💜❤️‍🩹