Impacts Of Thinking: Rumination

Being caught in thoughts that spin over and over again is so powerful that psychotherapists have pointed out that rumination is one of the leading causes for depression and anxiety. How that works is we're telling ourselves a story about how terrible things are or how frightening. Maybe the thoughts are about self-pity, discouragement, or things are too hard.
So this rumination, it’s kind of like digging yourself grave. It wears us down.

Transcript

So a few weeks ago we spent an entire week looking at and exploring depression.

And it's a useful topic.

It's a useful topic given that so many of us have had depression or we are in close relationship with people who work with depression.

And as I shared,

Depression and anxiety have been a portal for me on the spiritual path.

And meditation,

Meditation practice has been essential but not fully sufficient in working with these big afflictive emotions.

I've worked with therapists for years and because of the strong biochemistry of anxiety and depression that people have,

Many people find that like antidepressants or serotonin reuptake inhibitors really work for them.

So just to keep that in mind,

I'm gonna have to silence David.

I'm sorry I had to silence you.

There was a lot of feedback.

So as we explore these challenging mind states,

From a mindfulness perspective,

From a mindfulness practice perspective,

It's important to disclaim that mindfulness improves mental health.

It increases self-compassion and resilience.

But alone,

Mindfulness practice and meditation may not be sufficient for working with afflictive emotions.

And one of the keys that I offered for you all last couple weeks ago is with working with depression and anxiety or any big afflictive emotion,

Fear,

Anger,

It's really important to start noticing and paying attention to the content of our thoughts.

It's important to see that there is an intimate connection between our thinking and our emotions.

Thoughts and emotions go hand in hand.

And by seeing that connection,

It is possible to find a degree of freedom.

And today I want to talk about one particular kind of thinking that is very important for us to be mindful of.

And that's rumination.

The Pali word,

In the language of the Buddha,

The word is papanca.

And this rumination is like thoughts turning in on themselves so that there's kind of a black hole and we're trapped in that type of thinking.

The teacher Jack Kornfield used to say that these are kind of like the top 10 tunes of the mind.

They're repeating thoughts over and over again.

But with afflictive emotions,

The thoughts that carry them are not like daydream thoughts.

They're like the thoughts that carry us through the night.

And so we're caught in thoughts.

Rumination is really like chewing on something,

Like working something in kind of driving it home.

And usually,

Rumination is not very healthy for us.

So being caught in thoughts and spinning over and over again is so important.

And so the teacher pointed out that rumination is one of and could be the leading cause for depression and anxiety,

Rumination.

And how that works is we're telling ourselves a story about how terrible things are,

Or about how frightening it all is.

And maybe the thoughts are too strong,

Or the things are too hard,

And they just keep spinning.

And terrible things do happen.

But ruminating about it over and over again,

That's a very distinct way in which we become a victim.

We become a victim of our own thinking,

The loops that we're in.

And I can give you a story about that.

I was in Canada for a few months with my family on this extreme skiing adventure we went on in Canada.

And it wasn't intended to be an extreme skiing adventure,

But it was for me.

That's how it occurred for me.

So I wanted to watch my son jump off this rock in a way.

And it was covered with snow,

So I had to ski down this pretty steep terrain to get there.

And I've skied plenty of steep terrain before,

You know,

That's not,

It's part of where I live.

But there were some things at play that were not working for me.

So there was rumination.

There was rumination as I entered this experience of skiing.

The rumination was that my boots weren't feeling great.

And that I was using a heavier pair of skis because I was anticipating ice.

And I didn't know the resort and the conditions weren't great.

So I was doubting myself,

Ruminating a little bit on my ability.

So I get to the run,

And it's steep,

And there are these tight trees,

And it's narrow.

And it's under the chairlift,

So people can see me.

And now the rumination is really running on my lack of ability.

It's just kind of like,

Oh God,

I'm on the spot.

So I'm almost to the rock and I freeze.

I can't get down the run.

So physiologically,

I have a shortness of breath.

I can feel the anxiety and the adrenaline.

And there's panic on the surface of my experience.

And Seth,

My husband,

Is right there with me,

And he's a little surprised because he knows I can ski steep,

I've skied steeper runs.

And so he's talking to me about the snow conditions.

And he's like,

It's really,

It's good,

It's not icy.

I just need to point my skis down and turn.

And it takes me about five minutes of paralyzing fear to make the turn and ski down.

And in those five minutes,

I had a rush of memories of being left on the ski hill by my dad.

All the anticipated fear about what could happen if I somehow couldn't turn,

How I would maybe hit the tree,

How embarrassed I am because I'm under the chairlift and all these people can see me,

How I'm a mindfulness teacher,

So I shouldn't be having all these fears and anxieties running.

And now all these people know that I'm not good at controlling my fear,

That I'm actually a bad skier.

I'm a bad person.

I'm a phony.

Even after 25 years of Buddhist training,

This cast a very bad light on me and my practice and my dedication to practice.

So I should just stop now,

The whole thing.

So this rumination,

It's kind of like a meditation to dig myself a grave.

Each of those thoughts is like a nail in the coffin of,

Oh,

I'm so terrible.

I'm so terrible.

I'm so terrible.

I'm so terrible.

And maybe that phrase doesn't have a big impact on me,

But the continuity of it,

The repetition of it begins to wear me down and drain me.

So that's what I'm referring to as rumination,

Kind of the wearing down due to the same message that we tell ourselves over and over and over again.

And it might not be so conscious.

You know,

We might not even be conscious that we're thinking at this point because it's almost like an attitude or an emotion.

It's an idea that we have,

That we believe in.

We become and believe in this idea.

We're repeating it so often that the negative quality of it is just draining on us.

So the emphasis that I want to make here is on the course correction.

You know,

There's no requirement to repeat the same thought about ourselves over and over again.

And it's very hard to stop doing that.

Of course,

You know,

It's very hard.

But one of the ways to change the direction of all of this is to start being cognizant that this is what's at work.

This thinking,

Recognizing how repetitive your mind is,

Recognizing that you're telling yourself the same story,

The same message over and over again.

And notice the physical impact of that.

How is this affecting your energy level,

Your inspiration level?

What emotions does it bring?

And how does it affect your body?

After the freeze on the mountainside,

I was completely drained and was also very aware that the energies in the body shifted and changed.

And that evening,

We were all sitting in the hot tub together,

Kind of talking about this happening,

Talking about the chemicals in the brain that fire when there is a fear response.

So that's cortisol,

That's adrenaline.

And as a demonstration of changing the chemistry in the brain,

I got out of the hot tub and I laid on my back in the snow for 15 seconds,

Just laid there and breathed.

And then I got back into the hot tub.

And what that does is the brain produces dopamine.

Dopamine is the chemical that makes us feel good.

And it's quite immediate.

And my husband and my son could see it in my face.

I could feel the energy level shifting so dramatically.

So that starts to challenge these set ideas,

These notions that we have and that we tell ourselves.

Mindfulness practice starts to challenge these ruminating thoughts.

Like what's the evidence that this is true?

So taking a really good look at the story that the mind is telling.

So for this week,

I want to emphasize that you begin to take notice of your thinking.

Like what are the top 10 tunes?

What role or relationship or impact does this have,

This thinking have on your emotional life?

Not like you're trying to put it away or push it away.

Just really see it,

The impact or role of your emotions,

How they influence the thoughts that you have.

So this is your homework if you choose to accept it.

And I thank you for your attention on this topic of thinking.

And I welcome your comments and your questions.

Thank you.

Reviews

Thank you for such wonderful insight

Love it. Thank you

Helpful to see it is human...and not again beating myself up for it. 🙏