The More You Meditate, The Less Relatable You Become.

In this talk, I go over an interesting phenomenon I've noticed, where the more you meditate, the less you start to "relate" to the struggles of others (though there is an increased capacity towards compassion).

Transcript

The more you meditate,

The less relatable you become.

Now this is a very interesting phenomenon that happens in the meditation community.

Because most people will start a meditation practice due to various problems in their lives or something they're working with.

So they turn to meditation to help provide some calm,

Clarity,

And support so they're able to deal with their problems.

Now as time goes on and they put more and more hours into the practice,

Something interesting happens where they don't really relate to their problems anymore.

So they've almost changed and transformed into a new person.

And the same problems that plagued them in the past just seem like a dream or something that's very distant.

Now you can see extreme examples in this where you look at high level teachers who have put in hours and hours of practice every day.

So this is not just one or two hours a day,

But rather multiple hours a day for many decades.

So these would be teachers like Thich Nhat Hanh or Dallin Lama or Eckhart Tolle,

And their whole livelihood is based on meditation or providing spiritual advice.

And what happens is that they'll have these different satsangs or different meetings where audience members can ask them different questions on the problems that they're having.

And what you'll notice is that the audience member who is very new to meditation or perhaps they don't meditate at all,

Will ask them a question.

And they're coming from a place of a lot of struggle and strife in their life.

So they'll go on a huge rant about how they have so much drama and different things they're dealing with in life,

And they just feel so helpless.

And they'll go on to a huge victim story that lasts 10 minutes.

And they'll ask the meditation teacher for their advice.

And the teacher will give them a poetic answer rather than giving some very constructive criticism or practical answers.

So rather than answering their question head on,

The teacher will say something like,

The universe is peaceful.

Just rest in your awareness and everything will be resolved.

And it seems like a very nice answer and a lot of like sentiments in that sentence.

But just understanding where they're coming from,

You can kind of get a glimpse into the meditation teacher's mindset.

So they're so far removed from the daily struggles that most people face,

That they're unable to really provide that practical instructions,

And they're becoming less relatable to their general audience.

And in this case,

The general audience is just everyday workers or just people that have a lot going on.

So the meditation teachers are at such a different level in their practice that they don't really experience the crazy gripping of the ego,

Or they don't have personal strife or troubles or anything like that.

Now,

Of course,

They are human beings and they go through difficult emotions just like everyone,

But it's not a function or a feature of their personality.

So it is something that they experience and it just disappears really fast.

So they're able to get over things at a much faster rate than people who don't meditate and maybe only do 10 minutes a day or 20 minutes a day,

Where they're just working through their palms every single day and they're constantly in a lot of struggle.

Not so for the meditation teachers who are able to get over things in a few seconds or even minutes.

And I remember an example specifically where there was an audience member who asked the Dalai Lama a question regarding how to stop self-hatred.

And when the Dalai Lama's interpreter translated their question over,

The Dalai Lama was very confused and not because of the translation,

But he didn't even realize that people could have hatred towards themselves.

So it just wasn't even a reality in his mind.

I compare that to a lot of people who don't meditate at all,

They may have a lot of self-hatred or they may be insecure or they may be going through a lot of things.

But for a meditation master who's been doing this for decades,

That's not even a reality in their minds because they're so far removed from any kind of self-pity or self-hatred or insecurities or anything like that.

It's a very interesting note.

Now in my personal life,

I've also started to observe this phenomenon.

Sure,

I'm nowhere close to having that many hours compared to the Dalai Lama or Thich Nhat Hanh,

But I've definitely done a few hours a day for the last few years.

So my practice has improved a lot.

And as a result of my daily practice time increasing over the years,

I've noticed the same kind of phenomenon.

So I'll be hanging around with my friends who aren't yogis or aren't meditators and they'll casually comment in the conversation,

Oh,

Hey,

Do you know when your mind is racing all the time and this happens?

Or you know when you feel anxious about this topic or I really want to prove myself in my company and make more money or they'll get triggered and they'll say,

I can't believe this person disrespected me,

Blah,

Blah,

Blah.

And I'll be looking at them and I will nod and agree,

Like,

Yeah,

That makes sense.

I know what that's like,

But deep down I really don't.

So it's been a few years since I've had those kinds of thoughts.

My mind really doesn't race or don't really feel too anxious about different things.

And this is because with meditation,

What happens is that you just stop relating to it or these specific thoughts that you may have that keep running over and over again don't really have that impact as it once did.

So what you'll find personally,

And this may be of inspiration to you,

Is that the more you practice meditation,

The more sitting time you put and the more you integrate meditation off your cushion as well,

Then you'll start to see that your life change.

So a lot of the thought patterns that are looping over and that are negative just disappear.

And if you replace it with more positive thinking and mindsets,

You'll start to see that your life just really changes and you have more space in your life as well.

And all these problems that you may be facing right now will disappear by like,

Say,

90%,

Which seems very lofty,

But it can be experienced.

And one way to see this is that just look at what I like to say to people is that look at the masters of any field and just know that and just observe how they move,

How they carry themselves and what their mindset is like.

And just know that if you follow the same practice that they're doing,

You may embody their characteristics because you're practicing in the same path they're doing.

So you're kind of going down the same route,

A road as them.

And this is very encouraging because if you look at a lot of the meditation masters,

They seem to have a lot of peace and not a lot of ego attached to them.

So these are all things you can look forward to on our path.

So keep meditating and just know that your life will change for the better.

Now there is something to be said about the relatability aspect,

Which I've mentioned here.

And although you do gain a lot of compassion in your practice,

You aren't really able to relate to other people in the same common problems that they have,

Which I mentioned earlier.

So in this case,

It's good to remember where people are coming from,

Or at least remember where you started at in your journey.

And this could be done by creating notes or just documenting how you feel in a certain moment.

And then you can always look back at it when your practice has shifted significantly to really understand where people are coming from.

Because it's not very helpful for you to be in ivory tower where you don't relate to the problems that most people have.

So this is why I find it very helpful to journal or just keep a note,

An account of what I'm feeling and what my general mindset is in the present moment.

So I can always look back and say,

Oh,

This is what I was feeling like five years ago or 10 years ago.

And you can see not only how you've changed and progressed over the years,

But you can also see how the qualities of your problems have changed too.

So that's also very interesting too from a self-development aspect as well.

So hope you find this talk helpful and keep practicing.

Thank you.

Reviews

🙏🏿 2025.

Keep sharing these different perspectives!
Your talks are effectively broadening my perspective. I first listened to this talk with a different idea of what it was about and I was pleasantly surprised to learn what you shared!🙏🙏🙏