How To Deal With Frustration

This talk will go over how to deal with frustration. Being frustrated is a sign that whatever you want is slightly outside your grasp. I provide both a short term and long term solution on how to work with frustration and how to not let it control you.

Transcript

Hey this is Ish and today I want to talk to you about how to handle frustration.

So frustration is a sign that whatever that you want is just slightly out of your grasp,

So just by a bit,

And you actually believe that you can get the thing that you want but it seems to be eluding you.

So the key here is that it's a belief that you can achieve something but it's just not happening for you.

And if you didn't think that you can actually do the thing that you want you wouldn't feel frustrated.

So for example if I were to go against the world champion of chess Magnus Carlsen who's rated number one in the world,

Even if I lost I just I wouldn't feel frustrated I'd kind of just feel almost humbled by losing just because I had no expectations of beating him.

It's because there's a much further skill discrepancy.

One thing I started to do recently was Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu so obviously a white belt and if I were to go against a black belt and get tapped out within five seconds I wouldn't feel frustrated over it because I know that I wasn't going to win anyways.

And then likewise if I were to go buy lottery tickets and I didn't win the lottery I wouldn't feel frustrated.

So it obviously stems from just something being slightly outside your grasp.

So I'm going to give you two solutions to dealing with frustration and how to handle it.

So I'm going to give you a short-term method and a long-term method.

So for the short term you want to ask yourself what you can learn from the experience.

So there's always things in life that are just outside your control but in order to feel control and a sense of power and understanding you want to understand the key takeaways that you can get from a lesson.

So lessons are important.

So one thing I've seen in the YouTube community so obviously I make YouTube videos is a lot of people quit they see that they don't receive any views or subscribers and they kind of just give up rather than understanding and learning from their mistakes.

So for the YouTube example they could see why they aren't getting views maybe it's because they didn't optimize their SEO or search engine optimization.

Maybe they didn't make a good enough thumbnail or their audio or visual quality wasn't on point.

So by each failure of what they can learn they can actually incorporate some lessons and some takeaways from whatever they're doing to improve their quality and fail upwards.

So there'll always be challenges and things that are outside to grasp but the key here is to learn and evolve over time.

So when I first started meditating I really sucked and my whole goal was to say okay maybe I just need to work my posture because that's you know number one and then over time it's a bit more more and more subtle so my lessons have still I still get a lot of lessons and things I can improve on but it's started to change in scope and obviously you start to have a better relationship or frustration because you can understand each lesson and now on a long-term basis you can understand frustration as in terms of energy and I've talked about levels of energy a great book by our Fred Dodson.

Frustration is somewhere in the lower levels of energy levels and in Fred Dodson's book he talks about frustration as being a level 170 emotion on the scale of frequencies and the stages upwards up from there is boredom relaxation and just being content and that's level 200 so it's slightly above the level of frustration and essentially if you're feeling a chronic level of frustration throughout your day to day it means that you need more rest which is in the height just one step higher than the current level that you're at so this could mean you know getting a massage take going for a walk meditating that's a big thing I like doing yoga whatever that you find relaxes you and allows you to get more rest will help soothe the chronic levels of frustration and from a law of attraction standpoint frustration is just the focus on what is unwanted so if you're experiencing that a lot you want to change your focus just like figuring out what lessons you can learn that's one example and then the second long-term advice I would give is to understand the cycles of life so one thing the traditional Chinese medicine system did really well is that it understood that life is cyclical as lot of cycles just like the seasons you know you have winter summer all that and those are different seasons and we shouldn't expect to feel on point all the time or having the same amount of energy throughout our day and throughout the year because it fluctuates just like life itself so understand that you know the summer will be the most active time in your life where you're actively doing things if you're not accomplishing getting the same amount of energy throughout the year don't feel upset so you know at the time of recording this it's currently January and this is the winter season where the yin energy which is more receptive is at its peak this is known as the yin on top of the yin so this is a very yin type of season at the moment so this is actually all about introspection bringing my energy inwards so if I really attempted to bring the same amount of activity as I did in the summer I would kind of feel frustrated because I just don't have that kind of energy at the moment so this is actually a great time for me to shift focus and look inwards rather than keep trying to push through obstacles as I did in the summer and unfortunately our society just the way it's kind of set up right now especially in the West is that especially in nine and five jobs or any kind of job in general there is constant metrics to hit and certain goals and that remains constant throughout the year so if you have a goal of making 50 calls at your workplace they expect that in the summer in the winter and spring all the seasons so that's just one of the things you kind of have to you know work with and just understand you're not going to give your your best all the time and each season is actually valuable in its own because it provides a different quality that will actually enrich your life and rather than being at a go-go-go all the time you can use a particular season to generate ideas to plant seeds and then when it's time then you can actually execute on it so just understand the different seasons and that will kind of help you out in the long term so I hope this helps and let me know if you have any questions thanks

Reviews

Helpful, thanks for especially long term ideas.

Thank you!! It helped me realize I experience frustration about the same thing (my marriage) repeatedly. I will follow your advice and change my focus, get more rest and notice if my recurring frustration is related to seasonal energy shifts!

Life how ish broke it down like a science!

Brilliant, enlightening talk! I already feel less frustrated and have a better understanding of how to minimize or at least work through future frustrations 🙏

Very helpful in terms of not expecting to perform and function at the same level all the time. I really liked the seasons' analogt.

Fab advice. To the point and constructive. Thanks Ish 💕 really insightful ☀️☀️☀️

I really appreciate this perspective on frustration. Great talk, like all of your work.
Namaste 🙏

Very interesting! Thank you!