Feeling Frustrated In Life? Let Go Of Resistance

If you're consistently putting in a lot of work in one or many areas in your life, but are constantly met with resistance and failures, you might start to feel frustrated with life. This is a bad place to be long-term as this can lead to resentment and eventually apathy.

In this talk, I go over three solutions you can implement to get back on the right track.

1. Take a break to relax and recharge
2. Reacquaint yourself with the "Beginner's Mind"
3. Celebrate Small Wins!

Transcript

Hey,

This is Ish and today I want to talk to you about how to deal with the resistance that comes from being very frustrated in life.

So perhaps you're going through a certain period in your life where you're constantly trying at one particular task and things just don't go your way.

So you're constantly met with a lot of different failures and you just keep trying and trying and you just get beaten down and you're not experiencing any kind of victories.

So you're just met with a lot of failures.

And this can be very frustrating and you might be feeling a lot of different symptoms such as feeling burnt out or very stressed out or feeling like you want to give up or that you're constantly complaining.

You might find yourself just whining a lot or you find that you're like persisting a lot and then you know nothing really happens.

So over time you develop this apathy where you just feel like,

I just don't feel like it.

Nothing in life really matters.

And you can start to see how over time this way of thinking and mood can severely impact your life and it actually lowers your overall state of being,

Your mood and also your vibration as well.

So this can be pretty dangerous,

Right?

And I'm going to be going over some solutions to address this problem head on and how to fix this.

And these solutions in particular are knowing when to take a break and relax and change your focus away from whatever that you're trying to persist at.

The second solution is to embrace the beginner's mind as they say in Zen Buddhism.

And the third little bonus is to celebrate your small wins and victories.

So I'll be going over these particular points.

So the first point is to know when to take a break and actually relax.

When you do take some time off from whatever you're focusing on,

This will allow a period of rest and relaxation and allow you to recharge your batteries.

And you'll find this is actually well needed.

And you'll actually be able to analyze the problem that you're having from a different angle because if you're constantly focusing on the problem at hand,

Your attention is like a laser where it's focused on one particular possibility.

And when you actually take a step back and do something completely different,

You'll automatically come up with new insights and perspectives from a different lens because you're one step back from whatever that you're looking at.

So new possibilities will actually come to you out of the blue.

And you might have heard of the old tale where Isaac Newton was coming up with the theory of gravity and he was constantly focusing on this solution and he couldn't find it.

And one day he just took a break and sat under an apple tree and an apple apparently hit his head and he had an aha moment.

And then those ideas just like came to him all of a sudden.

And this is typically how things will just work sometimes where you have to let your conscious mind just take a break and let your subconscious take over.

And your subconscious mind kind of runs on the background so it'll pick up different things and sensations from the environment to different impressions.

But it does take some time to,

Like reflection,

For it to emerge.

So if you're constantly using your thinking mind and trying to come up with solutions,

It will do you more harm sometimes so you actually do need to take a step back and receive things.

And this is often done pretty well when you relax and recharge.

And taking a break is very essential because you'll notice that in life there are different seasons and different cycles of life.

So you might have seen this of periods of both activity and also relaxation and receptivity.

So you do need both.

I mean you might have noticed this in the seasons where you have hotter seasons that eventually transition into colder seasons and then you know vice versa where it loops back again.

Or you are awake right now,

You know,

Watching this and then eventually at night you'll go to sleep and that's a period of rest.

So you can see this in various things in life where there are cycles of growth and then cycles of decay and also relaxation as well.

So you do need both of activity and going forward and then also time to look inwards and receive a bit more.

So you need the balance of both.

So if you are overworking and you're getting really stressed out,

You actually do need that time to just step back and receive things and you need that period of rest,

Which is actually very important for your growth.

Just like when you work out in a gym,

You know,

You're working at your muscles right?

This is that period of activity.

You also need time for relaxation and your muscles actually grow when you sleep.

So the same things apply when you're constantly like ramming your head into a certain problem.

You do need that time to step back and repair.

Now the second point is to embrace the beginner's mind.

So this is a concept talked in Zen a lot where when a person is brand new to something,

A certain topic or certain skill set,

They come into it with an open mind.

This is because they don't already have those things that they've learned and all those reference experiences.

So they're coming with a fresh slate.

So they just take everything in.

And the beginner's mind is very unique because it is very open minded.

It's very flexible and also very creative as well.

They see possibilities everywhere and they're just open to new opportunities.

And they come with a playful attitude when they try to do things.

So it's actually kind of ironic but beginners will have what is called beginner's luck where they achieve success really fast and people who are more experienced,

Who are kind of stuck in their own ways and patterns don't progress and they kind of hit a part of stagnation and they look at the beginner and they're like,

Wow,

How did you pick that up really fast?

This is because the beginner's mind is open and empty.

So they're willing to try new things out and fail and just brush it off if they don't make it because they have no expectations.

The main thing is that they have a light touch to it so when they're trying new things they aren't really expecting a result.

This is the big key here because they don't have any expectations.

Things happen to come to them a lot easier.

You might have known this if you've been trying out manifestation techniques,

If you're into the law of attraction,

That you might find that it's actually a lot easier to manifest a cup of coffee than it is to manifest a soulmate.

Although those things are both equal in terms of manifesting from the universe,

You'll tend to attract the cup of coffee or free drink a lot easier because you don't have any attachment to it.

So you kind of just have a playful touch like,

Oh,

I'm going to manifest this and you forget about it.

Meanwhile,

When you have the intention of manifesting a dream partner or earning a million dollars in your business,

You have all this focus and attention to it that you have this quality of neediness to it which tends to repel it away.

So it's ironic that the things that you don't really care about that much and you have more of a playful,

Fun attitude towards will actually come towards you.

And that's actually a very good and important life lesson to learn.

And just one thing I've learned from personal observation is that recently I started to take martial arts classes.

And within the first month,

I had this beginner's mind and I was really open to new possibilities.

And I was just like there because everything was really fun.

And obviously,

When I first got in,

I was just getting destroyed.

I was getting submitted or tapped out.

I was losing all my matches and different rounds that I was going with,

Like my sparring rounds with my partner.

So I would expect to get choked up at least like 100 times in an hour.

But the thing was,

Even though I was losing,

So to speak,

Even though I was losing so many times,

I had a beginner's mind.

So everything was just fun.

I wasn't taking it personally because I was here to learn.

I wasn't expecting to be people who are more experienced than me.

So I would lose and I'd actually feel OK with it.

I was actually like,

Oh,

This is cool.

That was fun.

Because I was learning new things and trying out new things.

Everything was really fresh.

Now fast forward a few months later and obviously I'm still new.

But if I do get defeated by someone who is their first day there or third day there,

I'll notice myself kind of looking back and be like,

Oh,

I shouldn't have lost.

And I have this expectation.

So I start to get a little bit frustrated because in my head,

I've now narrowed my mind down of kind of getting to that state of constrictedness rather than having an open mind.

So I've lost a beginner's mind just for that instance.

And that's actually a great reminder for me to lower my expectations and come in with a clearer slate and actually think of everything as fun and learning opportunities.

So that's actually a great lesson to learn,

A great life lesson,

Where if you notice certain areas that you're getting frustrated at,

Like a certain skill or thing that you're working on and it's just not coming to you,

That's a sign to just take a step back,

Have an open mind and have that beginner's mind where everything is just new and fun for you.

So you need to find a way to tap into that.

And this is a great to be paired with taking a break because when you take a break,

You will ease your mind off that subject.

And when you come back to it,

There's a certain freshness associated with it.

So you can certainly combine that.

But then also you can have more of that playful and flexible approach where everything is just fun.

So if you approach different subjects as fun,

You'll definitely find yourself learning more and ironically getting more success even though you're not actively looking for success.

Now the third little bonus to get yourself to experience some victories and actually have fun with the whole process is to celebrate small wins,

Small victories.

So instead of having a goal of running three miles every single day and being frustrated that you don't get it or that you're too lazy to go to the gym,

Why not make it super easy for yourself?

So why not have the goal of just walking half a mile?

And if that's something that's easier for you,

You can ensure that you do it every single day and you'll actually celebrate yourself after walking just half a mile every single day.

And you'll find that what happens is that the momentum of congratulating yourself over something that is a smaller goal for you will build momentum over time and that will actually increase your confidence.

So when we think of confidence,

We often think of just walking with a straight back and walking with a swagger or something different,

Although that is part of it or can help towards it.

Confidence also comes from doing the things that you want to do or saying that you're going to do and actually achieve it.

And it's actually proving yourself that you can do whatever it is that you're setting yourself out to do.

If you're coming from a perspective of not achieving the things that you want to do,

And that's probably why you're watching this,

That you're frustrated with not achieving certain things,

Why not change your focus and do things that you can actually do?

So this can be done by setting the goal or bar threshold a lot smaller and just knocking that out of the park every single time and every single day.

And you'll actually find that when the momentum builds,

This will actually increase what is called the winner effect,

And that actually changes your brain neurotransmitters,

Increases your testosterone levels and lowers your stress levels of cortisol.

And that will actually allow you to take more risks and push yourself a bit harder and faster,

And you'll actually accomplish more.

So it's funny how that works.

By lowering your success,

Standard success,

And achieving that every single time,

You'll build that momentum where you can now be on this upward cycle where you're just crushing your goals and going upwards in life.

And isn't that what we want ultimately,

Right?

So this is a great thing to do.

And a great book that I've mentioned on my channel a few times is the Mini Habits book.

I think the author's name is Steven Guise,

And that's on Amazon and I think Kindle and Audible as well.

So you can check that out where he breaks that down.

And also another book is the winner effect as well.

I forget the author right now,

But I'll link it in the comments.

And with these qualities,

You can again build a confidence over time of proven success.

So just as a recap of this whole talk,

If you are feeling frustrated in life,

You're trying something and it's just not working for you,

It's just not happening,

There's a couple things you can do.

And that is,

Again,

Taking a break.

Just don't even think about that subject.

Relax and focus on other things.

And then that way you'll come back with a fresh mindset.

And with that fresh mindset,

You can adopt what is called the beginner's mind,

Where you just take everything as it comes,

Be more flexible,

And don't be so rigid in your concepts.

Let everything just come to you as a fresh slate.

And then when you do that,

You want to be celebrating smaller victories.

So just lower the threshold of success and make sure that you accomplish that every single time.

And this will build a track record in your brain of success and confidence.

And you'll actually improve your confidence and state of being.

And what will happen is that instead of going in a downwards circle and spiral,

Where you're feeling apathetic and frustrated in life,

You instead go up and you feel optimistic and energized.

So I hope this helps,

This talk helps.

And let me know if you have any suggestions for future talks and you'd like to hear more about this.

Thank you.

Reviews

Helpful mindset shift 🙏

I really needed to hear this today.
Thank you🙏

Thanks I was stuck in a rut but after listening this, I feel relieved rn

Ish,
Thank you for sharing. This helped me reset and step back. 🙏😇💐☮️

Excellent

Wonderful advise. Thank you!

Very good info

Very helpful! Thank you! 💚