Revealing The Richness Of The Rose With Dee Light

Dee Light has the gifted knack of seeing the biggest picture, and distilling it into sizable, easy-to-digest steps. Her capacity to take a dilemma and uncover the way out, is an everyday challenge she sees as part of her role in these dynamic times. For Dee, there is always a solution. A path forward. Dee has studied and applied many modalities over the last forty years and has distilled them down to the basic steps that get results. So, you can respond to life, not react; engage with life and not shrink back.

An author, a speaker, a spouse, a CEO, a mother, an insightful listener; everything she says, she uncovers, comes from deeply lived experience. She’s the living, breathing example of walking your talk. She walks with you, not to ‘fix’ you, but to help you find and open your own door, to your new life.

Transcript

The years leading up to and during menopause are a rite of passage. The wise woman inside of us is calling to slow down, To take stock, To speak our truth, To burn away all that no longer serves us, Ready for our next cycle of life. The good news is, With the support, Community, Connection, And most of all, Sharing our stories and being truly seen and heard, We will travel through this powerful, Sometimes painful heroine's journey and out the other side. Welcome to the Menopause Podcast, Real and raw stories of midlife and mental health. I'm your host, Kylie Patchett, Menopause self-care coach and storyteller, And I am so glad you found us. Let's get on with the show. I always have to start with a little boogie. Welcome to the podcast, Everybody. This is a brand new episode and I have the beautiful Dee Light with me today. How are you, Dee? I'm very well. Thank you, Kylie. Great to be here. Exciting. We have accidentally matched each other in our attire today. Actually, Maybe it's World Menopause Day today. So it's surely. . . Oh, Is it? Is it truly? It is. 18th of October. It's actually World Menopause Month, But also World Menopause Day, Specifically. And it's actually all about heart health, Which is actually quite related to what we're going to be talking about. Anyway, Before I get ahead of myself, Could you please introduce your lovely self to our listeners, Please? Okay. So I'm Dee Light. Let's say I've been around all things energetic for maybe 40 years, Though I'm 67. So yeah, It's been a huge exploration for me, Really, Yeah, Since I was about 27. And then really catapulted once I met my husband when I was 33, Who did a lot of body work. And so I have explored all things energetic related to my own health for years and years and years. I have the capacity to, I've discovered to therefore be able to pass on knowledge quite succinctly to other women. So we did live in Noosa on the Sunshine Coast for 14 years, And we ran Noosa Aroma Apothecary, Which was an essential. Oh, Cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we've got a sort of strong, Had a strong presence in Noosa, Which is like where I consider in many ways my energetic part. I was on a little cove the other day at the beach. So how I've progressed, I now do really interesting energetic work with, This is the first of a kind in the world, With Pearl Pendulums. So that's a whole other story, But it interweaves in what I'm about. So in my own, And I can only ever speak about my own lived experience, Because that's the only place that we can really come from authentically. Yeah. And so when I speak about what I'm going to speak about, It comes from my bones, Kylie. It comes from lived experience. It comes from alchemical moments in which I got it. Right. And so that's given me the clarity to go, Okay, So what's my legacy moving forward as I'm now in this ripe, Rich age of 67, I'm just getting going. I love that. I'm just getting going. Ripe and rich. Do you know what, That actually makes me think about the word ambrosial. You know that? Oh, I love that word. Ambrosial. Lush and juicy and ready to be tapped into. I love that. I love that. Dee, I'm interested to hear what, It's actually only just occurred to me about the menopause day, Like cardiovascular health is a menopause thing. You're talking about energetic, Like balance and alchemical knowing. And I feel like there's something pulling at me because when I think about, You know, One of my very first iterations in my life was as a medical scientist and I didn't last very long in medical science because it's a system that pulls us all apart. Right. It's the heart doctor versus the lung doctor versus the whatever. And it's in a way that I don't believe. So obviously completely against my value systems. And what I believe, And I'm sure from an energetic standpoint, You know, To be true as well, Is that our physical health, Our emotional health, Our mental health, Our spiritual health is all one and the whole, Like everything is connected to everything, Right? So I'm interested, Did you always have a sense of the richness that was going to emerge in this, The later part of your life? Did you always feel like you were just getting started and right for the picking? Yeah. As a child, I was raised in a house with beauty and my father was an architect. I was raised aesthetically well, Really good food. We would have a taste of wine when I was four, I was eating oysters. So I learned to imbibe pleasure at a very, Very early age. And so my father, He actually died when he was 41. But I remember, And because I did ballet and I was on the stage, I was quite chubby. At eight, I was on the stage in Fox Hill in a pink tutu, And I just loved that ebullience, The word is ebullience, Of not knowing anything else than that, The spirit that flows through. And then I remember when my dad said to me, Nothing against my father, But he said, Won't it be great when you lose your puppy fat? Now, I was 10, I had no idea what that was. He had no idea what trajectory that would set me on. So that set me on a trajectory for 23 years of constant dieting. And it was not like due to, It was just to keep control. It was just to keep control of this body. Like where would it go? How wayward would it be? You can't trust it. You can't trust it. So it's like at 33, So we're going back 1990 or something, And I'd met my husband, Who wasn't my husband at the time, And I got into things energetic. This whole door had opened and I did this long course. It was like a week-long immersion thing. And I came out of that and it was brutal. It was very cathartic. We used to hit cushions with baseball bats back in that day. We don't have to go there now. I'm just like, Let us all know. And so for the first time, Like I was free of dieting. And I was in Byron Bay and Kylie, I ate two poached eggs on toast with butter for the first time in 23 years with no guilt. Oh my goodness. And I do talk about, They were like wobbling on the plate, Like two breasts, Perfect poached eggs. And I was like, Oh my God, Where have I been? And then I remember walking down the beach in this surreal experience, And I had a coffee scroll with real milk, Not skimmed milk. And so I'd suddenly broke through whatever that was, And then I started to be able to observe what was going on. So that was 1990. Now let's come here to 2023. And we had no internet or social media. The pressure on women now is like a thousand fold. And so I've worked over the years to get myself to a place of clear within my own self, Being able to deliver ways through for women to just escape all of that. Because there's this sense of like, It's our potent, I talk about the word potency a lot, As a, It's a receiver energy. When we realise that our bodies are receivers and transmitters, All right, And we are receiving and transmitting energies, The whole game changes. And everything changes when we bring our resonance up over 500, Which is the heart. So you literally move into a different dimension, A dimension in which you cannot be controlled by anything else. So you've found your, And I'll use the word sovereignty in the pure sense of the word, You've found you. You found you. Yeah, Back to self with a capital S, Right? What you're saying about social media, Like there's so many positives about social media, But I was just speaking with another guest about the incessant messages of how to be a perfect parent via social media at the moment. And so as helpful as social media can be in some ways, There's so much noise that people are letting into their bandwidth, Or receiving to use your language. Is it any wonder that we seem to be getting more and more lost, Or more and more disconnected from our truth? Because if there's so many layers of messages, It's like you can't cut through the fog. Well, It's like a radio station, You know, It's all these sort of frequency bands. And so what I've discovered is this constant doorway, Which is like on the charts I work with is 500, Which is when the heart gets activated. And that's almost like, Let's go through the eye of the needle. That is the moment where you have to let go of everything that isn't your authentic self. And everyone who isn't aligned with you, Okay? But so there's a system of like defragging your whole energetic field. And I'm not just talking now, I'm talking ancestral line, Epigenetics. So what we've inherited. So this is where we can go now with speed. We need to go with speed because there's a lot of us. And so there's this defragging of the field. And so you return and the only connection you have is directly to source, Which is the only voice that you listen to from here on in. And that's where your power comes from. So you can get distracted. I mean, It's a lolly shop out there. And then there's all lots of things coming in. But the voice that you hear is unique to you. None of the other 8 billion on the planet will hear that one. And when you hear that and you get in touch with that, Then you can gradually move your frequency higher than 500 and you move it up. And then the speed is in the stillness, All right? So I'm just being that when you cannot get distracted and you are only listening to that, Which is guiding you to the next step of how you're going to contribute to the planet, Particularly when you get to this age. Completely opposite to the controlling or the, Like you were saying before about like, What would I do if I just let myself eat? This is a, That's the, It's the polar opposite. It's the polar opposite, But there's a little proviso in here, Kylie. When we make friends with our body as our cat's whiskers. Yep. I love that. Okay. Then it, Because this is where our consciousness lives, Deep embodied, Right? It's that somatic yes or no feeling. When you're in touch with that body in that way, In the fullness of that, Because you're really embodied, Your body will tell you exactly what it wants to eat. Yep. So not your will, Not your mind, Not the voices in your head, Not your deprivations or your guilty pleasure, All this sorts of, Not all that sort of stuff. It's like, What does your body require right now to work at its optimum level of health? You know, Simple. And the moment you get that, Everything changes because no diet in the world, No eating plan, No keto, No paleo, No vegan, No whatever, Holds any sway of you anymore. I'm just going to eat what my body requires. Yeah. Yep. End of story. And if my body requires red wine, My body has red wine. Yeah, Exactly. Yep. It seems to me that as we're talking, My, The feeling, Like, I love some of the language that you're using, Like I'll use my Ambrosial word, The ebullience, I can never say that word. That- Ebullience. Ebullience, That's right. Yes, It's got the I in there. The feeling, I don't know, What's in my mind language-wise is just coming home, Coming home, Coming home, Coming home. So it's almost like clearing all this stuff off the windshield of all the outside messages or the plug and play systems or the one size fits all, All of the conditioning that we've received about what it is to be a woman, What it is to have a woman's body, Bloody, Bloody, Bloody, All of that stuff. Yeah. Becomes just noise. Yes. I'm interested when you've mentioned 33 a couple of times, Like you've said, This is the first time that I started eating and enjoying wobbly boob eggs. You've also mentioned that it was when you met your husband. Do you feel like those two things were connected? Were you- I think on some, Yeah, They're on some levels, 33 is a significant number. Yeah. For all sorts of reasons. I don't, I won't make that significant. I'll tell you what, I don't make anything significant, Including myself. So then I always have the capacity to evolve, To move, To show up how I'm required. There is so much information in terms of cosmic, Numerological, Out there information that I sort of cherry pick from as to what's going to be relevant for the work that I do. But I'll tell you what, My husband always says, If it doesn't grow corn, I'm not using it. So I always say, If the work you're doing is not changing the conversations you're having with the mums when you're at the touch field, If it's not changing the conversations you're having with your husband or the lady in the queue at Aldi, Then it's not working. So if you need to go away on a weekend workshop and then you feel amazing and then you come back on a Monday and nothing's changed, It's not working. Yeah, Yeah. All right, So this has to be clear. Yes, This is alchemical work that's grounded and that changes everything, Everything as you move forward. But for me, As a woman at this age, The relationship with my body is paramount. Yeah. Absolutely paramount because that's the vehicle obviously it's going to take me forward in this time of health crises that people are looking at and also we want to know what wellness is, But we're not, It's not just, It's not, You don't play lip service to it. It's not like, Oh, I eat green smoothies and I do yoga. This is energetic wellness on the deepest of levels. Okay, So that every one of your 50 trillion cells is shining. Yeah. I love that. I love the, When I, Way, Way, Way back when I first studied a certain modality, The mentor used to say about your trillions and trillions of cells with a smile on their face. And I just love that. You know, When you really get that feeling, I used to use the term, My soul is wagging its tail, Like that real, Just, It's that energetic. Yeah, It feels like a vibration, But it's also very, Very still. And just, I don't know, Right, Is the word that's coming to my mind, Like the rightness of the feeling. Well, When you're, The interesting thing is, So we've got this collaboration going at the moment because when we look at the earth, We're going through the rumbles, Huge rumbles, Right? You know, We're not going back to where we were. So she's evolving. She is a consciousness in herself. So as she's rumbling, We better rumble with her and we better go with her. So we have to raise and match our frequency to hers because we are on the earth. So we have a choice as to whether we're gonna go the full medical model and implants and all of that sort of technical side, Or whether we're going to actually see our body as the most extraordinary technology that is a light capacitor. And when we understand that on a scientific level, So this is, None of what I say is woo-woo. I dare anybody to challenge me on that one because I'm a living example of what it does when this works. So this is, It's like, We have to listen to her. She is the operating system of the new earth. She has that, When we go out and we walk in nature and we receive those energies and the sun and the sun, And we are in such a beautiful place to receive it from the waves as well, From the ocean. So then we are literally lighting ourselves up from the inside out. So what gets in the way of that, However, First and foremost for us as women is guilt and shame. So, As you're looking at David Hawkins' work, So you look at that sort of map of consciousness and what lives at 50 is guilt and shame. So what are the two main emotions we as women have? Guilt and shame. So you're not going anywhere while they're in place. They're like anchoring you down and you're like, You want to rise up? It's like, No. So, You know- I've got concrete around my feet. Yeah, It is. And so therefore that sense, You know, This potency we have as women because we're connected to the earth and we're creative, It's like the womb of heaven lives inside us. You know, This rising comes up and it's almost like this heat comes up and then we slam it down. We slam it down and we shove it under the carpet and then we're such a good girl. We're so nice, But we slam it down. And so that heat, Festers, That resentment, That anger, You know, I was thinking about it this morning, So many women don't have the birth that they choose to have, Right? And that is carried in their cellular matrix from there on, Right? The energetics of that, Everywhere where we've been refused or held down or be told to be quiet or be a good girl or whatever, That creates heat and pressure in the body. Now, If you can't alchemise that and release that, When you head into perimenopause and menopause, What do you do with that heat? It turns into rage, My friend. Well, It turns into rage and then it festers and then all sorts of things happen because we're not taught how to alchemise clean anger as a tool. Well, We're afraid of anger. Overall, Generally, Women are afraid of anger. I was just talking earlier today to a psychotherapist and we were talking about relational trauma and she's actually doing a PhD in cardio boxing as a way of moving, Like taking anger from unhealed trauma, Particularly of the violent form and transmuting it into something very different. And I was fascinated by that. I mean, To me, It makes sense anyway because that's one of the ways that I choose to move through that type of thing is like, Okay, I want to honour how I'm feeling and allow this depth of big emotion to actually be in motion because I definitely relate to like, Keep it down, Keep it down, Keep it down. And I think for me, Particularly if your anger is self-directed, That is, I reckon, One of the ways that we suffer through perimenopause because you can't keep it down any longer and it has to go somewhere. Yes. So I was, Yeah, I'm just interested. There's so much talk about perimenopausal rage and I'm like, Would it be there if we just, Like if, And that's certainly been my experience, If I had just learnt earlier in life to be safe with my full gamut of emotions and to not disconnect from my body every time I felt that. So, Because, You know, The unsafe feeling. You hit the nail on the head and that's my job is to actually say, Hey, You don't have to go through this. I had my mouth flushed, That was it. Yeah. Okay. And that was, It was, Well, But the other things, And I think in, You know, Spoke, I said, This is the bit that's not spoken about because we're not in the club. Like, You don't want to hear from women like me because it's like, No, You know, Do you know what I mean? That's actually, I don't think that that's a thing. You think that's changing? Yeah. I don't think that's factual anymore. I think that we are going through a period where, You know, Like a lot of taboos, Like we went through the stage and again, This is social media led because there's so much loudness on social media, But we went through the stage where we didn't talk about periods and then we talked about periods. Like it's almost like we overshared about all the shit that can happen with periods. And now we've come into the middle. Like, I think that there is a pendulum of, I think it's a good thing we're having more conversations about menopause. I think, You know, I've certainly been one to say out loud, You know, If there's someone that sailed through menopause, I haven't met them yet. Maybe that's because people like you that did have not felt that they can speak, But I don't think that necessarily means that we don't want to hear from you. I think the danger, And I have had someone on this podcast do this in the middle of an interview, The danger is saying, I was perfect with taking care of my health, Therefore I earned the reward of going through menopause. But no, I literally did have someone I had to heavily edit and explain to her. Cause I'm just like, I think then we're making women at fault for things that they didn't even know were available to them. Yes, No, No, No, Exactly. It's like now, Oh my God, Something else I have to be perfect at. Yeah, Exactly. That's what I mean. And what we really want to be having is honest conversations about like, What's your sense? And I think that one of the things I wanted to draw out of this conversation, You talked about a turning point that you had at a particular point. Yeah. Where it really, Really, It changed the trajectory of how you express things, I think. Do you want to tell us a little bit more about that? Was it expression or permission? It was a compulsion. I didn't have a choice in terms of what came through. So there were two stages. Yeah. One was when, That was earlier than that, When I developed a lump in my throat. And because I don't go to doctors. And so I had a naturopath for 17 years. And so she said, I went to her and she said, Okay, Well, The crossroads, You can either go down the medical room and have it looked at and probably removed, Or you can now, Here's the proforma, Write the letters. I said, I'll do the letters. What's the letters? Give me the proforma. Essentially, I sat for three weeks and I wrote a letter to every single person who'd said no to me. Every single person that I had been such, Like I was a vice head prefect of a private school in Melbourne. Like talk about, Let's keep the lid on everything. Keep it buttoned up. Keep it buttoned up. And also keep it buttoned up within the energetic circles that I was working in because it's all love and light. And so it's sort of like- You're just cool bullshit on that right now. Anyway. Like me comes along and goes, Huh? So anyway, So I thought, Right, I'll do the letters. So I sat in my walking rope for three weeks writing these letters. I burnt them all, But, And the lump of course disappeared. So it was like, And you started off by voicing your anger, Voicing your anger, And then moving through as to how that had made you feel and then what the results of that. And then you move through down to going, Hang on to this person. If you hadn't been in my life, I wouldn't have experienced this and I wouldn't have had this realisation. And so you come to this point of resolution, Almost like forgiveness. And then the charge, It's all about the charge in your field. And so 23 charges left. And so the lump disappeared. So that was awkward for a little while, Okay? And then, And I'm not going to go into the details given that this involves somebody else. Yeah. But it was a time in my life when I, It was so pivotal to the work that I was going to do in the future, But I didn't know that at the time. And so something happened, Fundamental, Another woman wanted my husband, Right? Put it that way. And so I, The, Because we're so nice with other women, Kylie. In front of them. Well, But even, You know, And that's a whole other thing, Because, You know, That's the whole, You know, It's like all those dynamics of how women compete, All right? And I didn't know that this, And it was like, Anyway, It was somebody else's intention. My husband had got caught up in it. And suddenly somebody looked at me and said, So when are you going to get angry? Because I was so nice. I was trying in my lovely consciousness way to just integrate it and work it through. And the moment she said that, So when are you going to get angry? Oh, Kylie, It started. It started. You've opened the door now. I opened Pandora's box, Literally. Yeah, Yeah. And it was like, It came up from my toes. It came up through my body and it just, It came up. And I literally fire hosed my husband against the wall. Yeah. He was probably the only target that I, You know, Maybe I, But anyway, He's strong enough to handle it. And it alchemized him as well. So it was a complete catalyst for complete change in our relationship. The container that we'd created was strong enough to do that. And so I literally felt it came up and the words I used was like it was, I was being gurney. It was like, It's like something was going through my pipes and they were flushing them out. Yeah. So it took a while, But when, And I'm getting the goosebumps as I speak. So when it finally came out and I was at rest, Yeah, I grew my wings on him. It was the most profound experience. And my heart is completely open, But no woman would dare do that again. Because what I realized was I was angry at myself for playing small. Oh, Yes. Yeah. Playing small, Self-abandoning by keeping quiet. All of those things. All of those. What do you, Because when you said before, And when you say about the emotional and energetic charge of something, Like even when you're writing the letters, I feel like, Well, There is always blessing in everything. Like there's two sides to everything. It's when we can see and appreciate both sides that then the charge disappears. Do you look back now at this happening and feel like there's a purpose to all the years that you didn't do that? Because it needed to be a big enough gateway for you to step through? Like it had to be that powerful a shift? Absolutely, Absolutely. For the work that I'm to do, I had to access that level. Yes. When I was a little girl, Parts of me growing up, I was straight A student. I was that really high former, High achiever. But I thought if I'm all of me, I'm gonna blow up the world. So I will just keep the lid on me and I will show you what I can so that we can keep the harmony. And what you find acceptable. What you find acceptable, We'll keep the harmony and the balance, Okay? Until it reached a point where, And it just rose through me. I really had to go through it. And so from that point now, I can capacitate enough light grounded, Hopefully into the centre of the earth to do the work that I need to do in the container of a marriage now and a relationship that is very sacred that holds my energy. Yeah. Therefore you've got something that's got a job to do. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. When you think about the timing or feel into the timing, Because one of the senses that I have about the perimenopause transition is it's just another portal for us to step through. We rebirth ourselves, Particularly the cells free of the estrogen driven caretaking and all of those accommodation things that that beautiful hormone, God bless it, Gives us early on in life. And when you talk about this happening, That was around about the time of menopause, Like around, Like it was in your early fifties. Well, 52. Yeah, Definitely. We were at that same time, Yeah. Do you feel like, Is there, I'm just interested as I'm always interested when I'm talking to someone who's post-menopausal, Because there's a sense in me that there's this big powerful shift that's available to us if we surrender all the shit that we can't take forward, Right? Yes. Okay, Good, Excellent, Thank you. Job done. Excellent. Good news for all of us. Did you know that that was coming before it came? Because this is the other thing that I am noticing at the moment is I, My sense is there's a quickening. Oh, There's a quickening. Of the shedding. Yes. Early on, Like I would say, I became aware of being in a perimenopause transition about two years ago. And this last six months definitely has felt like a ramping up of the intensity of the like, You are in an autumnal phase and if you don't drop your frickin' leaves, We're gonna do it for you. That type of, You know? Yes, Yes. You know? Yes. Like the, I don't know, Well, Here we're in high wind already, But you know, It's that echo wind type of, That's not gonna help anyone that's not in Australia, But in Australia, We get these westerly winds in about August and it's just before the spring starts, So just before this new season, And I feel like that's- It's a bit wild. Yeah, Yeah, Exactly. And that's what I feel like. There's a quickening. Did you have that since before that point? Did you have any? Ah, Yes, Yes, Yes, Yes. And part of it was the shift in the relationship with my mother. I remember at the age of 15, Hanging up on my mother and not speaking to her for eight weeks. Now, A good girl doesn't do that. Parallel lives, Dee, Parallel lives. So, My mother has now passed, That was a while ago, But I was forever seeking her approval. And, You know, I had been married before, I'd left Melbourne as a good girl, Moved to Queensland, Shacked up with this very alternate man. I love that term, Shacked up. That's what my dad used to say. Shacked up! And was one of the first people I ever knew who bought Birkenstocks back then. It was a trendsetter. And so my mother's like, What do you do with this? And so then we had the children and our son was born in Noosa at home, Waterberth, Like with a torch in the garage, In a blown up pool. So, My mother didn't know any of that. She just thought that I was going to a hospital. And so, We rang her at five o'clock in the morning and said, He's here. And that in itself was an alchemical moment to do that pretty much unaided. The midwife stood back and it was primal, Deep and primal. And Clive delivered. Yes, It was Clive delivering. And so then when I spoke to my mother, And my sister, Who, You know, She won't listen to this, So it's all right. They both said, Oh, But you're lucky then, Aren't you? And that was the end of the conversation. Let's not find out what went on. And so, I wanted to bring my mother with me. I wanted to bring my mother because my father had died when she was 36 and I could see where she was. And she was deep in the effects of menopause. I wanted to bring her with me and to show her what's possible within our ancestral line to change that. And it was, So I was, And of course, Then we went to the Steiner School. And so, You know, Mum would come to that and she'd say, Some of the parents don't wear shoes. I was like, That's okay. There's a good reason for that now. Anyway, So it was uncomfortable for her being around this level of allowance and energetic exploration within our household, Within our kids as well. All within the context of good behaviour and boundaries, You know, Like the appropriate thing, Et cetera, Et cetera. Let's deal with edges. Yeah. And so, I remember I came, My husband produced this rose cream for me. This is a whole other side of the story because he's a perfumer. And so, Working with high-grade roses to help me surrender myself. And so, I decided to open up a business within our business with this cream called Gorgeous Cream. And it was for women. I think I was one of the first people ever out there. And my husband as well had said, We're not an anti-wrinkle. We just are gonna honour you. Yeah. Your stellar you with 30 bunches of roses every morning to open your heart. And we're gonna celebrate you because there's nothing to fix. And so, Only in that moment can that radiance that's inside, You can't buy radiance in a jar, Put it that way. Yeah. Anyway, So I remember launching it and, You know, It was rose cream. I think it was $125 at the time. It's a bit more now, But. And so, Mum just said, My friends would never buy that. They would never pay that. And so, It was a sense of like, So what do I have to do to open you up and to see, And it wasn't her fault. Okay. None of that was her fault. But I took that, You know, I'll tell you this Carly, The one woman, The one person on the planet, You as a little child or even growing up as an adult want to see you as your mother. Yeah. See you deeply, Right? That's not necessarily going to happen. So, There's a moment in which you accept that and you go, I am now going to become my own mother. This is actually. I will now parent myself with my own mother, My own father, My own divine feminine, My own divine masculine. And there comes the alchemical. The alchemical marriage, Marriage which births the Christ energy. That's what happens. Which is unity consciously. Which is unity consciousness. Okay. That's what we're talking about. So, I had to. And it was my husband. When I was on the phone, He looked at me and he went, Yeah, Hang it up. And I did. And he went, Good. He said, We don't need your mother in our bedroom anymore. What a profound statement made by a highly perceptive man. And I really hope a lot of women pick up on that. Okay. Because we will never ever get our mother's approval if we keep seeking it. We have to come from that place within ourselves. But also- And so part of all of that was what that led. So I could feel it moving. I had no choice because I'd already set the intention that I was going to fly with this a long time time. Yeah. Such a perfectly timed conversation because I am just in the middle of that. I was writing my journal last night and I wrote something along the lines of, I've decided to be my own matriarch. And I was just like, Oh my God, In that one sentence. Yeah. Because as you're talking, I can see the mother and the construct that was so different to how you were living and what you desired for yourself and what you valued. It's like two different languages and no one's bothering to try and interpret, Right? And I feel like that too, But I've only just come to a point where I haven't craved what is not ever going to happen. Yes. And I have to say that my naturopath was very instrumental. She worked with me for seven, She's retired now. But I remember her saying, It's not going to change. No. It's only as she gets older, She's only becoming more solid. And so every time you want to try and poke the bear and everything is only going to cause her pain. So she said, What do you choose? And I said, I don't want to inflict pain. And she said, Then choose the conversations that you have in common and work on those. And so that's what I did. The interesting thing was though, When she passed, I was able to work with her in that passing on another level and it was through her generosity within what she left to me financially that I was now able to create the legacy that I'm now creating. So my mother has played a huge energetic role now since she passed in enabling me to go to this stage. So there was a battle change on another level, Which was superb. And if she hadn't been the mother that she'd been, Then I wouldn't be the woman that I am now. And so you have to look at it all. You can't take one without the other. Shit, It was hard. Yeah. Because the autumnal thing I was talking about, To me, That is a phase of psychological separation. Well, Psychological and spiritual, Physical, All sorts of separation. It's the cleaning of, You know, Cutting off the dead wood or whatever, Shedding the leaves, However you want to say it. When you set that boundary with your mum, Was this, There was before 52? I think it was, Yeah, Yeah, I think, Yeah, Ish, Ish, Ish. Because that's the same sort of thing. And I feel like one of the things that I've been shedding is a whole heap of relationships that have just echoed the same energy of that never going to have, Me over delivering and being the caretaker and not receiving. And I just set it up again and again and again and again and again, Because that's what you used to. But now that the boundary has been set around my mum, All of a sudden, It's like, Oh, Hang on, We'll put these actual glasses on and see what's actually going on with all these other relationships. And so I'm like, Zip, Zip, Zip, Zip, Zip, Zip, Zip. I am pruning. But yeah, I'm interested because I feel like I'm turning 49 in a couple of months. And I feel like that is the quickening. Yeah, There's a lot of things in what you're saying. Well, It's all about vibrational resonance because, And what COVID did was exacerbate all of that. It just threw all of that out. And so as we're raising our frequency and raising and becoming more aware of everything that's happening in the world, Our conversations are getting deeper. We want to catch the chase really fast. I want to have conversations like this with women because then I know I'm being of service. I don't want to talk about, I won't say any shit, But I can't. I'm not your best guest at a dinner party unless it's real. I used to say, Like I used to say, So women would come into the shop and they'd go, Do you have anything that's going to take away my wrinkles, Right? And cause I'm thinking of doing this. Right. And I'd go, Okay. So this was years ago. And cause we had rickies. Do we still have rickies? I'm not sure we had rickies in Nusa. It was the place to do lunch, Right? For the women. And so I'd say, Okay, So I'm just going to pose this to you. So you're going to go to rickies and there's two tables. So you're going to sit on the table with the women that have had the work done or you're going to sit on the table with the women that haven't had the work done. Every time she'd look at me and go, Of course I want to be on the table where they're all having fun because we're drawn like magnets, Given the permission to just be authentic, To just be in the rumble and the richness of what it is to be a full hearted, Present woman. You know? I have friendships with women who are a lot younger than me because they're open to receive me. You know, There are less women in my age group ready to receive me. So my job is to work with your, You, And then the younger ones coming up and it's like, Okay, I'll be this big energy here because I can. And I'm supported by my husband within this, So it's two of us. And it's like, I'm here for it to be that because now it's so much more challenging. Now you're up against it so much more than I ever was because we didn't have social media and we didn't, You know, Life was simple. We didn't have those financial constraints and all the other stuff that goes on. So yeah, That's my role now is to help your generation and the next one navigate these times as we roll through. But of course, You already come within, With an accelerated time, You're going, You've already got the memo. Yeah, I think I really relate to what you were saying before about when you were younger, Feeling like if you let all of yourself out, That it would, It'd be too much, You know? Too much, Too much energy, Too much light, Too much excitement, Too much passion. Swearing, Too much colour, Too much, Like all of those. Yes, Yes. I just want to come back to what you were saying before. When you were saying about women of your age, What do you think is the barrier between them? Them and you being received. And it's a generational thing, Right? So I was the little fish that swam the other way. I was the Mexican crab that escaped the bucket. But what I can observe now within my age group, And this is an observation, This is not a judgment. You're really clear about that. But within my age group, In sort of the 60s and beyond, It's been a very comfortable ride financially for them. And so there's, Generally, Generally, Generally. So there's an accumulation of wealth, But we don't rock the boat within that. We don't rock the boat. And so husbands will go through their own questioning and their midlife crisis, And they'll shut that down as well. And things that should have been said have never been said. And so all of that keeps a lid on things. So we don't clean out the bottom of the barrel. We don't scrape the bottom of the barrel and go, Okay, So how can we be present with each other in this moment as if it's the first moment we've met? How do we create a relationship like that so that the next time we make love, It's the first time we've made love? How do you bring a newness, An energetic Christmas and clarity and strength to a relationship? And you do it by scouring everywhere you wish you'd said and saying and clearing what you never did. And that will bring the connection back. That brings. . . But if you don't do that, Then you get distracted by material things. Yeah. And so the material things try and fill up the dark in here. I go the other way around. I'd rather fill this up. And then whatever material things come into my realm that I'm to have, I'll have. But I'm okay with nothing. Yeah. Because I have it all. Because you're full, It doesn't. . . I'm full. You're not trying to replace a look for something or whatever. Yeah. And so what underpins that is the guilt and the shame. What underpins that is early childhood trauma. What underpins that is where I didn't have a good birth. What underpins that is like where he had an affair, I knew, We never talked about it, Or we got back together for the kids and then we've never resolved it. Or there are so many things that where it's like, We're just not going to talk about that. My mother used to say that, We don't talk about that in our house. My mother doesn't even say that, It's just not talked about. Yeah. And so you can feel that, Feel that. The weight of it, Yeah. I want to talk about it all because I don't have a judgment on it. Let's, And this is the alchemizing of it all. Let's just bring it all up, Explore it because we're all in the same bloody boat. Boat, Yeah. None of us, We're all here in this realm together. And I think, I don't know, My observation is a lot of the, We're not saying it, That is more exhausting than just saying it and letting the fucking emotion be what it is and then pass. Like, You know. Well, There's this, I want to draw a distinction here. It's a really, Really clear distinction. If you can learn to, And I use the word alchemize, But just bring your anger up to a point where it comes through a clean, Clear throat, Then it is received. Yeah. And it's heard. Because it's clean. Because it's clean. And so you've got to be able to learn to direct it, Direct it. And so that's a skill. That's a learned skill. Oh, Good. To be able to do that. But it's achievable. It's achievable. And so when you do that, Because it's coming from the heart, The words come from, They're not wounded words. They're clear, Clean words. Yeah. And the other thing too, Is that you are sometimes disempowering others if you don't say this. Yeah. Because you're not calling them out or you're not giving the opportunity for them to change because you're not going to change back. Yeah. So you're the invitation for something higher. Yes. Yes. Yes. You're always, When you start viewing life in this way, Always focused on the highest good of all. Always focused on the whole because we're all one tiny bit of the jigsaw puzzle of the whole. So if I can do this, Then it affects the whole. And so what happens is that the people who reject that, Because there will be people in your life that your light is just too much for in the sense that you rub up against them. And so they're going to project back on you and it's all your fault. If those people are not willing to see and to connect, Then no, That's really hard work. I would rather direct my face to the sun and go for those women that are going, Yeah, I'm ready. Let's have a rich conversation. Yeah. You know, For me doing the work I do, For me, The greatest joy I can have is to be received. You know, You are giving me an opportunity in this hour to be heard. That is the greatest gift to me. Yeah. I truly appreciate that. Yeah. Do you know, As you're, Thank you. Yes. As you're speaking, There's something in my mind that I have been really aware that I have no reference point for any woman. And I know that that's a huge statement, But any woman in my life that I'm connected to family-wise or, You know, Friendship circles that I've had for a long time, That I have been able to use as a reference point for a woman who is well-resourced because she meets her own needs. I've been very aware of that because I'm like, Okay, I'm aware that the way that I'm being in the world is not that, But when, As you're talking, I feel like that's probably one of the reasons why you can be received by people younger than you because you're actually being an expander for those of us who know that the way we've been taught to be is not helpful. It's not healthy. It's not sustainable. All of those things, It's causing too much pain and exhaustion, But it's like, I don't know whether I speak for the majority of people in my age group, But from my personal reference point, I've got no, You know, It's kind of like, If you can't see it, You can't be it, Although I don't actually entirely believe that. But do you know what I'm trying to say? Like, There's no reference point for me for a well-resourced woman. Well, I'm part of that cohort, I realize now, To be that. And that's why I've had to go through what I've been through within my marriage and with my husband. So we are part of that cohort that says, This is what's possible. Yeah, This is what's possible. Do this. And you mentioned something about being well-resourced. One of the things we learn the higher our frequency becomes is that we don't have to necessarily be well-resourced financially with a lot of super in the bank. Oh, I don't mean that. I mean- Oh, Right, Okay. No, No, No, Sorry. So when I say well-resourced, I mean satisfied with life, Richly, You know, All of those beautiful gypsies. Yes, And a healthy sex life. I remember speaking to some younger women and she said, Oh, I thought it stopped at 50. Oh, Oh, I didn't get that memo. Oh, I said love, I said pain. Time's a ticket. Let's have a chat. So it's like, This is the fullness of the female body that it can go on and on and on. But to get to that place, It must clean out the pipes. It must come to this point of fullness and juiciness. And one of the very, Very, Very best things a man ever said to me was an older man, And I'd left my husband, And he said, You will age like a Grange hermitage. Now, For any listeners overseas, That's our top shelf read. And I thought, Oh, I'd like that. So if it was like, If there was a moniker that I could say like, Okay, So let's make us mysterious. Let's make us rich, Let's make us full-bodied. Let's make us a little bit enigmatic, A little bit magnetic. What is it? I want what she's having, But I can't quite put my finger on it. No, You don't want what she's having. You want what's sitting there available for you to have where you can choose it. Yes. Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. Yes, Because we're all fully resourced when we tap into source, Into that energy. And that's the mother energy that will flow through us with such fullness. And then what happens is we become our own toroidal field. So our heart opens, And then we ourselves become this access point for infinite intelligence and infinite energy. And not only that, This is the next, Yeah, This is the next, Receivers, Yeah. This is the next thing we regenerate. So we're moving into that place as we shift and change into regenesis. So we start to actually come back to, Because we've got a new divine blueprint being activated, And that is one of renewal, Of resurrection, As we come back into ourselves, As we move into these high frequencies. But we have to, You know, The one thing, If my husband does this talk on women receiving in roses, And the one thing, And I will absolutely bring it back to him in this moment, He chipped away. He chipped away. I was a hard nut to crack at 33. Oh, God, Yeah. I had worked advertising. I'd had a job with a top secret. I mean, Like I was going for it, Right? Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. And he gave me, When he first met me, He gave me 18 long stem roses. I didn't know what to do with them. So he had to chip away and chip away and chip away. And I remember we had this wonderful dog called Betsy, Little Betsy. And Betsy used to just lie out in the sun and she'd just suddenly, We'd walk on the path and there would be Betsy. Love on me. I think, Oh my God, I've got to do a Betsy. I've got to be able to just roll out in the sun. And just, And I remember I did. I think it was around that time of the mother thing, But I can't quite give the date, But I surrendered. Something, Something kicked in and it was like, Oh, I'm surrendering to me. You know, There's this huge cosmic joke. We are for looking for love all the time. When we realise we are love itself, When we realise that we are it. The joke is on us. The joke is on us. And it's like that little moment you go, Oh, There's nothing outside of me. I'm okay. And not only that, There's nothing to fix. So I don't have to keep searching anymore. So if I'm not searching anymore, How am I going to give? And when I start giving, Then I will receive. And I set up that beautiful toroidal energetic flow that allows me to gift and receive. And that's the place that I'm at now. And I think that is, They are the energies we're moving into. That where energy circulates, It's gifting, It's flowing, It's coming through our bodies. We're birthing with ease because now I can birth new projects. Now I can birth new ideas. Because my womb, She is happy, She's healthy. And even if I didn't have one, I can still energetically clear that space ready for that. We can clear all of this now. And that's what's really exciting because we couldn't do it before. We couldn't do it to the depth and the speed. It wasn't available. It just wasn't available, Kylie. We sort of, It's like, That's what's exciting because it's available now. I'm going to come back to something you said earlier because I feel like this is also a cosmic joke. You said the speed is in the stillness. Yes. So it's kind of the same energy as that, Isn't it? It's like searching, Searching, Searching for the thing that will make us feel okay or loved or accepted or whatever, Like whatever we are seeking. Yes. Then we realize it's all there and a given and innately in us. We're rushing or we've been taught to rush particularly these days. Mind you, I'm like the anti, I feel like I'm doing the same thing you did when you started eating wobbly eggs. Like, I'm just like, I love my small and precious life. Like my simple, Rich, Pleasurable life that has none of the things that I was searching for or rushing towards as a younger person. Can you talk a little bit more just to bring our conversation to fullness about the speed being in the slowness? Yeah. So we're all energy and frequency. So as we shift our frequency higher, Which means we're defragging our system and we're letting go of those lower energies and emotions, The charges in our field. The higher it goes, The more exponential it becomes and time slows down. And so you do more and more and more with less and less and less. Mm. And so you reach a point of stillness when you have everything available to you. You know what that reminds me of? No one listening is going to be able to see what I'm doing, But when I did the martini training years and years ago. Yeah, Grapevine. He does that, Yeah, That, You know, You swing from one side to the other and here is enlightenment. So once you stop. Yes. So it is the balance of masculine and feminine. So I'll put it this way. So I have a good balance of masculine and feminine, Right? So, And in essence, Let's just keep it really short and simple. Feminine is being, Receptive. Masculine is doing. So if you have cleared your field enough, So you're in touch with your own intuition and the sense of things, And I'll give an example. You know, We do the five-year plan for our businesses, Right? Whereas if we listened to the business and it was able to speak to us, We would be able to follow that, Whatever that path takes like that, Because we're, So we're not trying to control things. That's what I was about to say. Stop seeking safety in planning, Yes? Yeah, No, But the safety is in you knowing you, Okay? You're eternal, Eternal, You're that big. You know, So it's like, Oh, Okay. So the lighter I get, Then the more those, The right telephone will call it, The right time. When it's divine timing, By the way, Or I'll get a nudge or I'll see something. If I cold call, Because my plan says I must, Even more these days, You're gonna hit a brick wall and hit a brick wall and hit a brick wall. So this is when we come back to that place of acceptance and stillness and listening, And then acting, And when it moves fast, It'll move fast, It'll really move fast, And you'll have more time in your day than you ever imagined, Because it all just flows in the most beautiful of ways. So the higher frequency, The more you access that. It is maths. My world revolves around maths. Feeling, Where's the frequency? High, Low, Is this light? Is this heavy? I'm gonna flow the light, Okay? So simple, Isn't it? It sounds simple, However, It takes discipline, And it takes discipline because you signed up to do a job somewhere along the line or be something. So if not now, When? Let's get on with it. And the being of that job could be that you just have the most extraordinary smile and that you just beam that out as much as you can, And that's gonna change lives. I'm not, It's whatever that is, But let's get on with it now. And there's a beautiful, Beautiful line that says, When you surrender to what it is that you're here to do, And I hope this line helps some people who are listening. There's a thing called the treasury of life and it's in, Saint Germain looks after it. When you fully surrender to the service for what you signed up to be, Here at this time now, You will begin to access your treasury of life, Which is all the resources that you require and more to live the life that you signed up for. You need to surrender to that. You need to surrender to that. And know that that is there. Know that that is there and that you can pull that through as you require it. It is the most phenomenal sense of rock solid security knowing you have access to that now and that's what we have access to. And, You know, Like go for it. If this is my legacy, I'm just gonna embrace it with every single one of my 50 trillion cells. And stop questioning and stop filtering it through. Is this right? Is this whatever? I think as you're talking, The treasury of light to me, It feels, It's the same sort of energy as the opposite of seeking. It's like, It's all there anyway. So you don't have to rush. There's no reason to follow a plan. It's just get present. Yep. Keep on clearing out any of the heaviness and use your cat's whiskers to listen. Cat's whiskers. And when I was a little girl, My dad was alive. We used to go on car rallies. Now, I don't know if you know what a car rally is. The office car rally. So it had all the hints and the clues, You know. So I see life as a car rally. You know, It's like, I'll get a little message and it's like, Oh, Okay. So if I go on here. Yes, Then I might find that. And then there'll be a little treasure over there and then I'll keep going. So it's just, It's not a linear thing. It's a bit of a car rally and therefore it's fun. We used to have so much fun eating cheese because in the back of the car or twisties, You know, With my parents. My mother going, No, Charles, Go that way. You know, Have a tree, But that looks like the tree over there. And I was like, So I'm in my own car rally. And it's- I love that. Yeah. I love that. And it's an adventure then, Isn't it? It's a completely different, Yeah. Completely different energy. I feel like the more that I surrender to just trusting that everything unfolds as it should, And the more that I choose to, Hmm, The more present I am, The more easy everything becomes. And yet coming back, I mean, I guess we're coming full circle now, Back to that kind of anger and guilt and shame thing. I feel like I've spent so many decades of my life kind of disconnecting from my body sense because it's feeling angry or something that has not felt safe to be able to sort of sit in or express or whatever. But the more that those old feelings, Habits, Thoughts, Patterns, Relationships dissolve, The easier it is to be present. And that's where all the gold is. And I'm just like, Oh my God, How is it? Like, I don't know. It feels like this opening up a treasure box that was always there. And you think, Well, Shit, I could have saved myself a hell of a lot of- Oh, Yeah. Well, There's always that in hindsight, But you know, And the thing is, Too, You know, Everybody in consciousness circles is talking about, Oh, Ascension. We've all, You know, Ascending, Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah. We're not ascending, We're descending. So your higher self, Your large self, Is now, You're making room within your body and your energetic field by cleaning up all the other stuff for your higher self to land so that it is the thing that becomes your internal guiding system. And together, When there's enough of us, We can shift this dimension and our reality shifts collectively. That's our job. You're reminding me of the, And I always get this reference stuffed up, But it's the statue of David, Someone supposedly, And who knows whether this is true or not, But I like the analogy. How did you create the statue of David? I just took away everything that wasn't David. Absolutely. And I'm like, That's it. So some people say, You know, We're not healing ourselves, Carly, We're revealing ourselves. There's nothing different. Yeah. We're just letting all the dross fall away now so we can stand fully in who we are. And more and more and more of doing this. And some of the children being now, Born now, Already have that, You know, Because that's what's required. Yeah. You know, I was born at the perfect time. I can look back now and go, Everything was set up for this time for me to have this conversation with you whereby I can be heard, Whereby, Come on, There is a way through. There is a way through. Yeah. And it's so exciting. It's so exciting. It is. But it may look different to how you originally thought it was going. Oh, Absolutely. Geez. I was thinking about the other day. I was thinking about the other day about the, Yeah, Psychological kind of phases, Or phases it feels like that I'm going through, And it's that separation. I feel like I'm on the cusp of the surrender. And then, Yeah, Very different to, I thought, Like, If you'd talked to me, You know, 30 years ago, My life doesn't look like what I thought it would. And I'm so grateful for that. Yes. Yes. Because I'm like, Wow, I was on a highway to disconnection and materialism and all the shit that does not, Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. And we haven't even spoken also about the whole mix of everything that's within, When you throw children or teenage children and spouses and dogs and schools, And, You know, Everything else, Businesses, Everything else into the mix. It's like, You're going to have to navigate your way through this with a clean, Clear signal. And so that gets easier. And the one thing within here that assists, Because when your signal's really clear, You can establish boundaries that are so, So immutable. Yeah. Yeah. And it feels to me that the more immutable the boundary, The less you have the chance to demonstrate it because the more your energy is doing the talking for you. So you don't even have to, You know, Hold the boundary or enforce the boundary or whatever, Because it's like, It's just a given. It's just, I'm not available for that. It doesn't actually, It doesn't come out. I'm not available. I don't go there. I don't think that's appropriate. And so that by holding that boundaries, It just opens all the other doors open for you. Clean, Clean, Clean. Yep. Oh, I have enjoyed this chat very much. Can you tell everyone listening where to find you please and your work in the world? Because we didn't get to talk about the Pearl Pendulums. Yes. There are two places you can find me. They're sort of sister companies, But the work I'm doing now is at lightandco. Org. So that's the work with the Pearl Pendulums, Which is the clearing, The defragging, Lots of transmissions up there. And then the sister company is Manifesto of Light, Which has the rose oil, Which is my husband's area, Which is all the essential oils and the perfumery. So we look at essential oil. We work with very high frequency oils. They're all coated with the Pendulum. So we're just looking at virtually seeing your etheric in your energetic body as receiving liquid light. So I have an aromatic water. You talk about pleasure. Yeah. So my perfume is, The concentrate is 13 years old and it's rolled on with a black pearl. Wow. So we're looking at honouring this physical here with as high vibration as we possibly can. So we're like, We've been actually around for a long time, But we've actually been invisible. We couldn't be seen. We couldn't be received. So now the energies are moving up. And so it's like, Okay, Get ready. We're looking for a different way. Yeah. And it's just the next level. It's just a fuller expression of that, That we can choose. And so, Yeah, Lightandco. Earth and manifestooflight. Org. And they're both connected with links in between. So thank you. So good. I'll just hide my little rose oil that I put on. That was literally what I was putting on when we first connected. So that's it. It's just, You know, It's so beautiful that we have these things available now. Yeah. I chose that as, Yeah, Part of my ritual of reclaiming myself has got to do with that. Yeah. That's a very important doorway through because of the resonance of that. And, You know, We're talking about Venusian energies. We're talking about, You know, That whole rose line. We're talking about accessing all of that, That sacred feminine. And yeah, That's a whole other conversation. Back to Ambrosial juiciness. I'm with you. Do you have been a delight? I knew that you would be a delight, Obviously. But it has been even more delightful. Thank you so much for being here. And thank you for being an expander for our field of possibilities for those of us who haven't had a reference point of a well-resourced, As in, You know. Yeah. Not necessarily financially. All the, You know, All that. All of what's available because there's so much available, But it's like, How do we make you available to yourself? Yeah, Exactly. That's the best resource. Beautiful. I've had such a good day. This is the third brilliant interview. And I'm like, Well, It's menopause day. Happy menopause day. Happy menopause day. And we in our pink shirts will sign off, But thank you so much for your time. It's been lovely. Thank you. Thank you, Carly. Bye. Lots of love. Thank you. Thanks so much for listening into today's episode. If you love the show, As I hope you do, Please take the time to subscribe on your favorite pod listening platform and rate and review. And for bonus points, If you have a friend or someone who popped to mind as you were listening to this episode, Why not hit the share link wherever you're listening and send them a little love bomb. Like, Listen to this. Did you know this is normal? I really, Really, Really would love to get these beautiful stories into the hearts and ears and minds of so many more midlife mavens and your help spreading the love is truly, Truly appreciated. Thank you so much. I'm Carly Patchett, Your host, And have a spectacular day.