Interview: Chanoa Inez ~ Healing After Loss!

Chanoa has multiple miracle stories to share this episode, whether it is about her out-of-body experiences or her family's legacy of intution and psychic ability. But it is her story of what happened on a trip overseas that struck me. Stranded in a foreign country she lost what she held dear-and it was then that the Universe let her know it was going to carry her.

Transcript

Hey everyone and welcome back to the podcast.

This Midweek Miracle episode is brought courtesy of Chinoa Inez and yeah she's kind of this fabulous human being who's here to let us know that we can all survive great loss,

Great heartbreak,

As well as events that happen in our lives that seem so insurmountable yet somehow the human spirit ultimately triumphs every single time.

She's an author,

She is an advanced meditator,

And she's clearly,

As you'll hear,

Someone who is very used to mystical and magical things happening in her life.

Suffice it to say,

You know,

Another BFF,

Right?

I keep meeting these people that are just incredible in the world and are so beautiful and doing such good work and Chinoa is no exception.

All right,

Without further ado,

Here's my conversation with the delightful Chinoa.

Two retreats ago,

Some months ago,

I started,

Actually it was actually in May,

So I had my first out-of-body experience and it was amazing and then it,

You know,

Then it happened,

The next retreat,

It didn't happen at the retreat,

But it happened on the plane on the way to the retreat.

How would you introduce yourself?

Okay,

Well if it's just me,

The person outside of work,

I would say that I am a seeker.

I would definitely describe myself as that.

I love to learn.

I also,

I love life and I just love kind of going down the rabbit hole of what can I learn and how much more can I be every day.

In terms of work,

I'm an author and I have a personal transformation book and I also help people with a program that combines personal transformation and personal branding,

So it's working on the person behind the brand so that they can attract more opportunities.

Yes,

And I feel like most of us could use more opportunities to be honest.

Let me ask you,

Is this what you thought you'd be when you were a kid?

Like,

What did you dream about when you were a kid?

No,

Definitely not.

I mean,

I was one of those kids,

I have a lot of interests,

I've always had a lot of interests,

But I,

I mean,

There are many of them,

But I would say the longest period of time in childhood and as a teen,

I wanted to be a doctor.

I wanted to be a forensic pathologist actually and yeah,

But you know,

I was supporting myself at the time that I just started college and it just like,

It hit me.

I was like,

One,

I didn't want to stay in Miami forever and I thought,

So I'm gonna be in school for 12 years,

I'm responsible for all of,

Like paying for all of this and I'm like working at Zara and I just like,

I,

So I did it like,

I think a semester or two and I came out and I took almost two years off of school and I went back for fashion merchandising,

Which is very different,

Basically everything in the fashion business besides design,

But it's funny because I always loved fashion,

But I never considered it,

Anything like that,

To be like a professional option for me and I didn't even know what that was in high school.

My best friend wanted to study that and I said,

What's that?

And how strange,

Like,

What,

Four or five years later that I would end up going to study that,

So yeah.

That's,

Okay,

You have,

What does a forensic pathologist do?

Can you tell me?

Uh-huh,

Yeah,

They perform autopsies,

But it goes a little deeper,

They work like DNA investigation,

So I really liked,

You know,

The investigative side and I liked also the side of medicine,

But I,

For some reason,

I don't know why I was thinking about this at such a young age,

But I didn't want anyone to see me malpractice,

So I thought I want to do surgery,

But,

You know,

I'm people who have already passed,

So I'm glad I didn't go that route.

I still really respect that career and I think it's interesting,

But I'm not sure that my personality would have fit with that because,

You know,

It's,

You work with different departments,

It's kind of like,

You know,

I'm,

The way that I work,

It's very unstructured and that's very structured,

Very,

Like,

Bureaucratic systems and legal systems and things like that.

That is fascinating.

Do you know,

Out of over 300 interviews that I've done,

You were the first person to say that's what they wanted to be when they were gonna grow up?

That's funny.

I mean,

I had,

Like,

A high school science project about that,

Too.

It was really in-depth.

Wait,

What do you mean?

Like,

For a science fair?

Yeah,

I did.

Yeah,

Very in-depth,

Like,

Showing,

Like,

How DNA is collected and all that stuff.

I can't imagine it.

It speeds up,

The technology speeds up,

So that's probably,

Like,

Ancient.

What I was presenting,

You know,

Back then,

But yeah,

I was,

I was really committed and then I was very much not.

My gosh,

You know what's just really,

I guess,

Gobsmacked me so much about this story and this desire of yours is that you're not squeamish,

I'm No,

Not usually.

Okay,

So you would have no problem doing autopsies.

I don't think I could do that,

But I know that about myself,

You know?

Well,

I mean,

I know people who are medical professionals,

Like,

Lifelong medical professionals,

And they could not,

You know,

Do the cuts for dissections in school.

Like,

Their classmates did it for them,

And they just kind of just kept coming back to it,

And then now nothing fazes them.

So,

You know,

I think sometimes we surprise ourselves what we can get accustomed to,

I think.

That is fascinating.

Fascinating.

I'm just,

I'm thinking of,

I don't know,

Did you ever see Silence of the Lambs?

Yeah,

I love that movie in the book.

Yeah.

There's like a combo fashion merchandising,

Fashion creation,

And autopsy sort of thing happening.

Oh my gosh,

That's funny.

Yeah.

You know,

With the,

I guess you'd call him the main antagonist,

You know,

Like the mysterious guy who's been,

You know,

Stealing women or whatever.

And he kind of,

He's a combo package of,

You know,

It's a disgusting combo package,

But it's there.

Oh my gosh,

I never put that together.

Well,

I'm,

I am not the same.

No.

That's where it stops,

The commonality.

Okay,

Good.

Good,

Good,

Good.

No people dresses.

Right.

And so then,

But I really love this fashion piece.

And so was that,

Did you want to become a fashion designer?

Or did you want to work out in the world with fashion brands?

Yeah,

The latter.

So my school had like majors,

A major for design and then merchandising.

Some of the design students wanted to eventually have their own firm.

So they also decided to get a double major and do the merchandising.

I was never interested in doing the design.

And then,

But the merchandising program,

It's so dynamic.

And I love that so that you're learning everything and then you decide what you want to do.

So I learned everything from store planning to public relations,

Copywriting,

Which I ended up going into,

You know,

PR,

It's styling,

It's whatever you can think of it,

Literally anything that touches the fashion industry besides the actual production.

They even have product development,

But again,

Just not design and production.

Okay,

Okay.

And let me ask you,

I just wanted to get some,

Like clarity around this.

So,

You know,

On your Podmatch profile,

You say,

I share my dramatic story that goes from Montenegro to Los Angeles.

Were you born in Montenegro?

No.

Okay.

Okay.

No,

I grew up in upstate New York,

Miami,

And then I moved to Montenegro.

Wow.

So was that after,

You know,

You finished school?

Yeah.

Yeah,

I was done at school.

I was stayed in Miami for a few years.

Yeah.

Okay.

Like five,

Six years.

Yeah,

I've always thought about living in Miami,

But I also don't think I have the energy because it seems like such a vibrant,

Like,

It seems as if something is going on 24 seven,

And there's just like,

Life and art and food and joy all the time.

Is that,

Would you say that's right?

Yes.

And that's why I still love it for vacation and like visiting family and friends.

But,

You know,

I had so much fun living there.

And the time that I lived there was a special time and living in South Beach at that time.

But,

Yeah,

It's kind of strange,

I think,

For living there full time,

Because a lot of people are also transient.

And I guess people like I have friends who are from Vegas,

And they can relate to that too.

Just like a lot of people who,

You know,

It's when people are not so committed to your area,

Or they don't live there for so long,

It can get a little strange.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay.

So I'm just going to ask you for this,

Because I am pretty sure most of my listeners don't know anything about Montenegro.

So will you just talk a little bit about that country and,

And what it's all about?

Yeah.

It's a teeny tiny,

Like,

You know,

Jewel of a nation.

It's like,

You have everything.

You know,

The beaches are an hour away from the ski centers,

And it's very mountainous,

It's beautiful.

It's actually it means Montenegro means Black Mountain,

Because the pine trees are very,

Very dark.

And there are actually some beaches where the pine trees come all the way to the sea.

So it's,

Yeah,

It's just gorgeous.

It's next to Croatia.

And Albania,

You know,

It's in that area.

It's in the Balkans,

Croatia,

Albania,

Serbia,

It's across from Italy.

And yeah,

It's just it's just a really special place.

It sounds like heaven.

Yeah,

Nowhere is perfect.

But when I went there on vacation,

I just like,

I fell into a depression when I went back to Miami,

One,

Because I knew I wanted to leave and I didn't know where I wanted to go.

And I went there and I was just so blown away.

I didn't want to talk about it.

People like the pictures are so beautiful.

I want to hear about it.

And I was just like,

I can't talk about it.

Yeah.

Wow.

So you took this like major life leap and had an adventure.

Good for you.

I'm a fan of adventures.

They can be really scary,

Though.

You know,

Did you ever stop like at any point and think what am I doing?

Well,

I didn't go there alone.

And things,

The story twisted really quickly.

So the first time I went there,

I was on vacation with my boyfriend who's from there.

And we live together in Miami.

So I couldn't wait to go.

And I went there and that whole thing happened where I was like,

Oh,

My gosh,

I want to go back.

So we agreed that the next year we would go back.

And it worked because he just changed careers.

So he was then a yacht broker.

So,

You know,

His brokerage in would have been happy to have a man on the ground over there.

And then I just start doing I started doing copywriting and strategy on the side because,

You know,

I graduated during the Great Recession.

So I didn't get any jobs in fashion.

So I was still working in nightlife in South Beach.

And so I took on,

You know,

My first freelance writing client.

So I was like,

OK,

I have a year now to actually just turn this to my full time thing.

So we're not thinking about,

You know,

Going from American income and salaries to Montenegro,

Which much smaller economy.

So we went there the next year and the very first day we got there was just magical.

Perfect.

Spent time with his parents in the capital.

Perfect night on the seacoast.

And it was the first time in my life up into that point where it felt like everything was just perfect,

Like no problems and everything was aligned.

And unfortunately,

When I woke up in the morning,

It was yeah,

It was just a shock to my system.

Like it was my world.

And,

You know,

In your 20s,

You don't think nobody tells you your boyfriend might not wake up.

So it was just it was as hard as you can imagine.

Just from that first moment,

Even like,

Well,

What do I do?

Like I spoke like 200 words of language.

You know,

At that point,

I was learning slowly and I didn't know what to do.

Like I literally just opened the balcony windows and just started like screaming for help.

Like I didn't know what to do.

Thankfully,

The neighbors underneath us,

Their daughter,

Teenage daughter,

She spoke perfect English.

And then there was a weird synchronicity.

I found out later her sister.

I know her sister.

She lives in Miami.

It was very weird.

We found out months later.

Like she was a good friend of me and my boyfriend who passed.

So that was just crazy.

So,

You know,

It was it was really shocking.

And half of the people were like,

You know,

You should stay in Montenegro.

Other half people are like,

That's crazy.

Go back to the U.

S.

And I thought there's no way I'm going to go back to a city where I was.

I wanted to leave.

And now I'm going to be grieving.

And then everything reminds me of him.

That's just not going to happen.

So I was like,

I'm staying.

So I stayed until the end of the summer.

They just kind of went back to the states to organize our effects.

And then I ended up going to Belgrade on the advice of my friends.

They thought it would be too slow in the off season.

But I eventually moved back to to the full time in Montenegro a couple of years later.

So I kind of split the years,

The first two years.

Oh,

My goodness.

I'm I'm I actually can't believe your story.

It's yeah,

In your 20s.

Anything like that happening is not even in the realm of possibility.

You don't even entertain thoughts like that.

I can't imagine.

And I'm so sorry that that happened.

What a crazy synchronicity.

I mean,

Yeah,

Below your apartment there.

I mean,

I'm just that's astonishing in itself.

But it's almost like there was support for you there at the time that you really needed it.

This web of connection.

And then I can't imagine the heartbreak and the grief and the sorrow.

And you choose the adventure.

Still,

You decided to stay.

Yeah.

And see what what came,

You know,

That is so insanely brave.

I'm sure you've been told that a million times,

Right?

Yeah,

I mean,

I have been told it was brave.

I don't know if it's I mean,

I see how it could be viewed as brave.

But it just seemed like a much better alternative to me.

Yeah.

I mean,

Also,

Just to be surrounded by so much beauty all the time,

You know,

While you're going through this process.

I'm a big believer in beauty can really,

In a very tangible way,

Kind of hold you while you're going through something that's,

That's a huge loss.

Because it's always there.

And it's like this eternal reminder.

Remember,

This is here.

Remember,

Beauty exists,

You know,

It's kind of a ratification of life and living.

That it's worth it.

The pain is horrific and horrendous,

But beauty is eternal.

So yeah.

So well,

Now you've got me wanting to go to Montenegro.

I'm not gonna lie.

I'm like their unofficial ambassador.

I'm like,

Sitting here,

I have a bucket list.

Okay.

Then I was like,

I'm gonna have to add something to my bucket list.

You're very dangerous to talk to.

I'm sure you've been told that before.

Well,

It's funny,

I end up,

You know,

Becoming a copywriter and messaging strategist because my friends tell me I accidentally sell them stuff all the time.

But I get like really excited about things.

And I'm like,

You've got to try this.

You have to go there.

Like,

That's it just became,

You know,

Part of who I am.

Yeah,

Yeah.

Let me ask you the second question of the podcast,

Which is,

Did you grow up in a religious household?

If so,

What did that look like?

And you know,

Whether you have a connection to that energy now or not,

How has that evolved over time?

That's interesting.

Well,

Religious,

I mean,

Like my mother goes to church.

And my grandmother,

My grandmother raised me for a good chunk of my childhood.

And then we moved to Florida.

And then she eventually moved there.

And was living with us.

So and she's religious.

She was the most religious in my family.

But she's also a grandma.

So I had to go to church,

You know,

It's like,

I didn't have to pay attention as a child.

Like,

Here have a mint,

But you need to be here and you need to be dressed perfectly with the bows in your hair.

And I might take a nap,

But I had to be there.

So it was not like,

You know,

She didn't like pressure us,

You know,

But it was always her,

Her North Star,

You know.

So I wouldn't say that I have a religious component.

But it's interesting,

Because I was never really religious,

But I got into Orthodox,

The Orthodox Christian faith,

When I was dating my boyfriend who passed.

And then when he passed away,

I actually converted,

Which was like,

You know,

I think a common thing.

It's like religion,

Like I want to be with you,

You know,

Kind of thing.

And it was great.

And religion,

You have somebody,

It's basically,

You get a kuma kuma,

Which is kind of translates to Godfather or,

Or,

Yeah,

Or Godmother.

But they're really become like your best friend.

It's the same word you have for when you get married.

If you're in that religion,

You have the best man or the maid of honor.

So his sister is my kuma.

And so we did the service at an Orthodox church in Florida.

So that was really nice.

She was in Florida,

Florida.

So I kept going to the church and never really like for not too many,

Too many services,

But like lighting candles and you know,

Going and,

You know,

Visiting the icons,

They have the iconography,

Iconography.

So going there and praying and,

And it was nice.

It was really,

You know,

It really helped me.

But then after some time,

I just realized I'm just not a religious person,

Because I am a person who I like my direct connection.

I don't Yeah,

Because you know,

There are so many things that can be involved with religions of all kinds.

And no matter how much I still like their religion,

And it's still my religion,

And I can celebrate some of the holidays,

But you know,

There are some levels of politics and things that happen when there are people involved,

Right?

People layer,

But it's an interesting journey.

And even though my grandmother is so religious,

It's interesting,

Because there are a lot of things that she never pushed her religious ways on to us.

But you know,

She was certainly strict about some ideas.

And it's very interesting.

Today's the 22nd.

Yeah,

Her birthday is in five days,

She's gonna be 101 years old.

Yes.

And it's so interesting,

Because in the past few years,

I've just watched her change so much.

And it's this natural progression,

Where she says things like,

The only thing that matters is for you to be happy.

And that's it.

She,

You know,

She could care less that I don't go to church or anything.

And she'll tell us so you know,

Write a scripture in a greeting card or something or tell me something like,

You know,

God's looking out for you.

And it's great,

But she's never trying to force anything.

And it's interesting seeing her go that way.

And it just kind of,

It's kind of validating,

Validating that I believe in this,

Like,

I could just have this direct connection.

And my grandmother now,

She's kind of stripped away those those rules or boundaries.

Yeah.

I just have to tell you that I love that you said the people layer.

And I was like,

I've never heard it described that way.

But it's so true.

There is like,

No matter where you go,

Whether it's a job in a corporation,

Or you join a church,

Or you join the Girl Scouts,

Whatever that looks like,

There's always going to be politics and a people layer in some weird way.

Humans just do that.

And I just,

But I've never heard it described as a people layer before.

And that's just succinct and perfect.

So thank you.

Was your grandmother Christian?

Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

And then,

Please,

I would love this.

You know,

I went to seminary,

I studied religions from all over the world.

But what is Orthodox Christianity for my listeners?

Well,

It's quite similar,

But it comes from I don't know if the original original is from Greece,

Or Russia.

It's very,

Very old religion.

It's primarily practiced in Eastern Europe,

In,

Again,

Greece,

Also in Ethiopia.

So it's very far apart.

But yeah.

And it's very similar as far as like values,

But there are a lot of things that are different.

For example,

When I explained the icons,

Or what the churches look like,

Look different,

You have saints,

And you'll have an icon on the scenes.

And it's,

You know,

Common for you to have,

It almost feels like a mix of Christianity and Catholicism.

Because you're,

It's very common to,

You know,

Go pick up holy water from the church,

And you have these icons with the different saints and your saint days.

And so you have like,

Everyone,

You know,

Your neighbor's family might be this same day,

And you on their same day,

If you're close,

They're going to invite you over and their friends.

And so there's this season,

I love that in the Balkans,

Where you're just constantly going to these,

It's called,

They're called slavas.

And it's funny,

Because I know so many people from there,

They're like,

Oh,

I have another slava to go to.

And I love it.

And like,

It feels like a Thanksgiving,

You know,

A few times a week for four months,

I can't get enough of it,

If cakes and you know,

The whole thing.

So I really like those traditions.

I really,

It really called to me,

It's like a really also nice,

I think,

Family and community oriented faith.

And the days for Christmas are different,

But all of my friends who celebrate or who practice this religion and live in the US,

The US,

They just practice both.

And they tend to still focus on,

You know,

Christmas,

Because because the meaning of the holiday is the same.

But the calendars are different.

That one is on the Julian calendar.

So January 7,

Is Christmas and January 14,

Is New Year's.

Okay,

Yeah.

And then they're just like little rituals you might have,

If you go to the church,

Like there's some like,

You know,

Burning of branches and things.

Yeah,

That are specific to that religion.

Beautiful.

I was thinking about all the slavas.

And I was like,

Oh,

My gosh,

Fun,

Fun.

Yeah,

Yeah.

But also,

When I lived in Portland,

Oregon,

There's a gorgeous Greek Orthodox Church there.

And I was lucky enough,

They were doing a procession.

And it was right before I moved to Santa Fe to start going to seminary in Denver.

And,

You know,

I was really excited to they opened the doors to the community.

And I'd never been inside a Greek Orthodox Church.

Holy cannoli unbelievably gorgeous.

Also ornate,

Like so ornate.

And they have this great story of how a lot of the decoration and some of the icons had been painted by this,

These brothers and a father from Florence in Italy.

So they'd come over so long ago,

And they decorated most of the inside of the church,

But I had never I've never seen anything like it.

It was just ridiculously beautiful.

It's so hard to describe to you know,

It's like,

How do I explain this to people?

It's just outrageously beautiful.

Yeah.

In a way that I really like,

I don't know if it's for everyone.

But I mean,

I love icons.

I'm a huge fan.

I'm just a fan of icons,

Because there's always so much more going on.

You know,

You might think you're looking,

Oh,

You're just looking at an image of a particular saint.

Oh,

But there's so much more going on.

There's so many messages being transmitted in that image.

But you have to know.

Yeah,

I don't I don't know all that symbolism.

But yeah,

And I like that.

Again,

It's back to this like tradition.

And I was looking for tradition,

Because,

You know,

It also felt like he was my family,

You know,

I felt like,

You know,

Looking for that structure.

But his sister picked my saint for the same day and asked me if that's the one I wanted when I when I converted,

And it was nice because she's a protector of women.

So I always still recognize my saint day.

Petra Petko,

Excuse me.

That's beautiful.

I was gonna say the other thing that I just was really striking for me was how just supportive and loving inside this faith tradition to have this person who kind of is a mentor or a guide or a support who becomes your best friend.

I mean,

I'm sorry,

But that's brilliant.

That is brilliant.

We need more of that.

Yeah,

It really is.

You know,

I was married later in Montenegro,

And that marriage didn't last.

But and but my best friend at the time,

She,

She was my maid of honor.

But I guess there's a flip side of that,

Because I was told,

You know,

You hold on to that person like family forever.

And it was a friendship I should have let go a long time ago.

But you do become that her the rest of you know,

Her mother still like I consider her to be my other mother.

So it's very interesting.

I'd love for you to just would you mind just talking about your saint?

Would you mind just describing who she is and,

And how you came about,

You know,

Being connected to her?

Um,

I don't remember what she did to get,

You know,

Canonized.

But I'll look it up.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Please.

Yeah.

She was a protector.

And again,

She focused on women.

I just can't I don't remember anything else.

Because,

You know,

That was so long ago.

I don't really read anything.

But I always tune into her and just on my saint day,

There are just times when what can I compare it to?

I don't know,

I get some solace when I when I connect with Petka.

And it's like,

It's hard to describe.

I've also had some synchronicities where her pictures just popped up at a time that was,

You know,

A time that I could use,

Let's say support.

Um,

And so her days,

October 27.

But I thought it was just,

You know,

It was it was beautiful,

Especially being you know,

I was an unusual way that I converted.

So it was nice seeing like,

Okay,

I have this woman here,

Because I was kind of like,

Just out here by myself,

Almost.

And then,

Of course,

I get my kuma.

And then I have this protector.

So it was a beautiful combination.

Oh,

Yeah.

Yeah.

I actually looked her up.

I have some icons in front of me that are absolutely gorgeous.

She has a wiki page.

So you go St.

Petka.

It says that in when she was a kid,

She was in church.

And she audibly heard the Lord's words,

Whoever wants to come after me,

Let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

And those words,

You know,

Compelled her to give away her rich clothes to all the poor and to flee to Constantinople.

Her parents did not support her decision to live an ascetic religious life.

They searched for her.

Then she fled and afterward lived at the Church of the Most Holy Theotokos.

I probably pronounced that wrong.

And Heraclea Pontica in Bithynia.

She experienced visions of the Virgin Mary.

She traveled to Jerusalem.

And then she settled in a convent in the desert near the Jordan River.

But yeah,

She died at age 27.

That is young.

Oh,

My gosh,

Did you just say that?

That's a synchronicity.

Oh,

My birthday's on the 27th.

And I see the number 27 everywhere.

And the strangest I kid you not.

And I didn't know that even though her her day is October 27.

But I didn't know she was 27 years old.

That's wild.

Okay,

So I wonder if that's why I see the number that much.

So like,

Why am I gonna see my own birthday that many times?

Oh,

Well,

I'm it's really interesting.

I mean,

Once you kind of,

I don't know,

Have a devotion to a particular saint,

Or you can have a devotion to an icon,

If you just want to,

You know,

Venerate an icon.

I feel like that energy is,

You know,

There's like,

A back and forth.

I mean,

That energy,

Which is so potent,

It knows that you venerate it and that you look up to it.

And so in that way,

She can bring some magic and the synchronicity into your life.

That's a really,

You guys,

Wow,

You two have a powerful connection.

Yeah,

Yeah,

This is inspiring me to read deeper into her life.

Wow.

I'm just giving you more homework.

Sorry.

Well,

That's me.

I told you the secret.

I don't know,

I live and breathe this whole seeking because I,

I was not aware for so long.

And life was so difficult for me,

Especially after that happened.

I went through such a dark period for so long.

And then I think it's like a light bulb went on.

And after seeing what,

What is out there,

Which is only a fraction of what is really out there.

I just,

I'm on this never ending journey,

I always want to learn more.

And I just see like,

Life is amazing.

There's just,

And we barely scratched the surface,

But I just want to keep going down that route as long as I'm here.

Yeah,

Absolutely.

This feels like the perfect time to ask you the main question of the podcast,

Which is,

I would so appreciate it if you would share one story or two stories,

However many you'd like about something magical or miraculous or mysterious that's happened in your life.

I've had every story under the sun.

So that's all to say that whatever you have to share is totally legitimate.

Whatever,

Whatever you'd like to share.

You just,

For some reason,

I had one story and I'll tell you that one,

But you just something you said right now,

I just suddenly remembered something a long time ago.

So I'll start with that.

So it was interesting.

I was living in Florida.

I was in,

I think,

I think I was in middle school by that time.

Yeah.

In that house.

And for some reason,

There were a lot of family over and I think some family friends,

Everybody went outside for some reason.

I don't know if it was a holiday,

But everybody went to the front yard.

I was supposed to be going out there too.

And I don't know what I was looking for.

And so I was the only one in the house,

Like,

And I went to my mother's room and her room was like,

The door for her room was like right here.

And then the front door is there.

So I went in and I saw a figure and it was a completely all black figure and it stopped.

It was bent over her Bible.

That was,

She always kept open next to her bottom and just bang like that.

And I went this and I was like in shock.

And it like turned toward me.

There's no face,

No features,

Just this outline shape of a person.

Yeah.

And looks at me.

And I just,

And I was like,

At first it just frozen,

You know,

And then I started crying and I ran outside and I told everyone what happened and everybody believed me.

I was just so nervous.

And I was afraid to stay home alone for a while,

Which is funny.

Cause I always used to watch like,

You know,

Scary movies as a child.

And I always wanted to see,

Like,

You know,

I'm like,

I want to see UFOs and things,

But I was so terrified,

But it was really interesting that they're looking at the Bible,

But I kept thinking about it years later.

And I was thinking,

You know,

After a while,

I just didn't think it was anything,

You know,

Bad,

You know,

Nothing malevolent,

Malevolent.

I was just,

It was just so shocking.

And,

But the fact that they were bent over that Bible to me also made me feel like,

No,

This is a good being,

Whatever it is.

And that I didn't expect to startle me because it thought everybody was outside.

So I have,

You know,

It's just,

It's a wild story.

I would have been so terrified,

Especially if I was a kid.

Oh my gosh.

Well,

What I especially just adore about that story is you went and you told a bunch of people and they're all like,

Oh yeah,

Yeah,

That we believe you.

You know,

That's,

That's actually kind of unbelievable.

Yeah.

I'm,

I'm lucky in that way because,

Um,

You know,

I knows,

Uh,

I use this as my pen name,

You know,

This is my middle name actually.

And that's the first name of my great grandmother,

My grandmother's mother,

Who was a midwife.

And there seems to be like,

Um,

Like my mother saw her after she passed,

You know?

So there are a lot of things that,

You know,

People have seen things in my family.

So they've had some experiences with people who have crossed over.

So yeah,

That was nice.

Cause it would have been horrible to be terrified like that.

And someone just sends you into your room.

That would be terrifying.

Yeah.

So at least,

You know,

There was comfort.

Oh my gosh.

It sounds like you have some seriously powerful women in your family.

Yeah.

I,

You know,

I didn't think about it like that because I had a lot of disconnection with my family over the years growing up.

It was very difficult.

And then I moved out very young.

So it was complicated in that way.

But I have noticed that,

Uh,

Recently,

Um,

Last time I went to visit my family,

My sister started talking to me about these things.

And she's like,

Do you think we inherited more of a,

Like a heightened intuition from our grandmother and our great grandmother?

And she started telling me stories.

And then I spoke with my grandmother,

You know,

I just,

I was kind of very busy as I usually am.

And I'm in Florida because there's so many people to see.

And I'm just kind of like left and right.

And I remember one day I was just staying at my sister's house,

Which is near my grandmother.

So I just had like 20 minutes to see her.

And then I was going to come back later.

So I didn't know what to do.

Cause I was like,

I have to,

Like,

I'm looking at the clock.

So I just sat next to her on her bed and we're just looking out the window and I don't say anything.

And I'm just like taking the 20 minutes and she just started talking.

And it's just like all these very mystical stories.

And I was like,

What?

It's a mystical experience.

And she didn't,

Doesn't have that language,

Like to call it mystical.

She didn't know what that,

You know,

Terminology is.

And then I realized,

Okay,

Yeah,

That's exactly what she's talking about.

So I got 20 minutes of that.

I was like,

Oh,

Why did I have to leave?

So,

Um,

Yeah,

There's definitely that in my family.

And I've only recently really actually started thinking about that connection.

Wow.

Wow.

That's,

That's a legacy right there.

You know,

I mean,

I would say it's a legacy,

But it's also an invitation,

Right.

To step into that,

Um,

Into that familial kind of,

Um,

Those gifts because,

You know,

Now you more concretely know after her telling you about her experiences that these things are possible,

You know,

In your line.

Um,

And so I don't know,

I would be both scared and excited at the same time.

Uh,

I don't have any fear about it,

About it anymore.

I I've had so many mystical experiences in the last couple of years when I was seeking them.

Um,

But I know you can't like force it,

But once it started happening now,

It just happens very easily.

Um,

I do an advanced form of meditation.

And when I go to the retreats,

I have so many mystical experiences.

It's just wild.

Every time the last time I went to,

I had to ask them how to ground myself because I felt like I was still out of my body when I was walking around on this break time.

So they gave me some dark chocolate and,

You know,

Some,

Um,

Electrolytes.

Then I came back for a little bit more.

So it was still a little,

And then I got,

You know,

I got used to that feeling and I was able to ground myself and then I just kept going deeper.

Wow.

I do like it.

Yeah.

What's the advanced form of meditation.

I'm so curious.

Yeah.

Um,

Dr.

Joe dispense,

Uh,

Meditations.

They're very much connected,

Uh,

To,

Uh,

They don't use the word Kundalini,

But you can call Kundalini energy.

It's a lot of that breath work,

Uh,

Bringing the energy up from all of the centers.

Um,

And the,

Uh,

They work with scientists from UC San Diego.

So I've actually participated in a study that hasn't come out yet.

I can't talk about that one,

But,

Um,

They do a lot of studies and they're now publishing these papers.

And it's interesting to see because in these meditations,

They,

When people do,

They do brain scans of participants,

The brain it's,

It looks exactly like somebody's on psilocybin and we're just sitting there in a hotel ballroom having had like,

You know,

Catered hotel food,

Like nothing special is going on,

But yeah,

It's,

It's quite profound.

So it's nice because I really went deep into his meditations and they helped me heal a lot of the health challenges I got after my boyfriend passed away from that unresolved grief.

And so I would just kind of like nerd out on it.

So what's great now is I can,

You know,

Change states quickly.

And now I have this really fun part.

It's almost like I had to get,

All right,

You got the help things out of the way.

That was really important.

And now it's like,

Oh,

Look,

Now I just can be more curious and playful.

And I think that's I'm having a lot more mystical experiences.

Oh,

I love that.

Oh my goodness.

Yeah.

I've been thinking about buying his book for a while,

But I haven't done it yet.

So I'm thinking you would say yes to me purchasing that book.

Oh yeah.

It changed my life.

Yeah,

For sure.

Yeah,

It's great.

I mean,

I love becoming supernatural,

But I really recommend for as a,

For people who maybe haven't gone to dive so deep,

I would say to start with breaking the habit of being yourself.

And it's like,

We just see whatever the limiting beliefs we want to change.

It's a very like step-by-step plus the meditations.

I find that to be really effective.

Amazing.

Thank you.

That's awesome.

Clearly you and I were supposed to talk today.

I have to tell you,

Like I had the craziest day yesterday,

The cat that I'm house sitting had to go to emergency surgery because she got in a fight with another cat.

I just had the kind of day that it was like everything that I was at work.

And I was supposed to go to like this kind of swanky thing last night.

So I was dressed early at work to go to the thing right after work.

And I went to go wash my hands and I pressed the pump down and I don't know what was going on with the pump,

But it sprayed the soap across the sink,

All over my chest.

All you can do is laugh in that moment.

And I was like,

Then I tried to like wipe it off of my shirt and everything just got really soapy.

I was like,

I,

And then finally I just was like,

All right,

I'm going to go to this event tonight.

And I'm just going to wear my coat the whole time and just not show anyone my clothes.

I mean,

I just thought it can't get any crazier.

And at this point you just have to go with it,

You know?

Cause it's so absurd,

But I was thinking today's much better.

I think.

And we were clearly meant to have this conversation because you're addressing a lot of questions,

Internal questions that I have about things that I want to study or get into or what have you.

So thank you for that.

I love that you're just grabbing the bull by the horns and you're just like,

I'm going to also,

What I love is that this is so similar to your saint's life,

Right?

She leaves and,

You know,

Goes off in her own adventure in Constantinople.

You leave and go on your own adventure to Montenegro.

Then,

You know life happens,

Different experiences happen.

She's having visions and having these experiences that are very,

Very mystical.

You're having visions and experiences that are,

I mean,

You two are like two peas in a pod.

This is wild.

I know.

Oh my gosh.

Wow.

Yeah.

You're leaving me with a lot to think about.

I mean,

The parallels are striking actually.

Yeah.

When you line it up like that.

Wow.

Yeah.

Nothing is coincidence.

I don't believe in the word and yeah.

You know,

But I have one part.

I think it's really fun to have mystical experiences,

But I don't get scared because I always feel this strong connection to the divine.

If it was anything else,

I wouldn't want to do it.

So that's what makes me,

You know,

Not nervous.

I know it can be very scary for some people,

But I just don't have that feeling.

I've always had this like overwhelming,

Reassuring,

Loving feeling.

So even if something's strange,

I just kind of relax and don't judge.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

We need more people to feel that way and understand the world in that way.

I think,

Did you say you have another story you want to share?

Oh,

I'd love to hear it.

So I,

Two retreats ago,

Which some months ago I started,

Um,

Actually it was actually in May.

So I had my first out of body experience and it was amazing.

And then it,

You know,

Then it happened the next retreat.

It didn't happen at the retreat,

But it happened on the plane on the way to the retreat.

So I thought,

Wow.

And then it happened actually right before the retreat.

It was after registration.

I went to take a nap and I left my body again.

And I said,

This is amazing.

So the last retreat in November,

No,

October,

Um,

No,

I'm confusing.

I have so many this year,

December.

Yeah.

December in San Diego,

There was a moment where this can happen.

Sometimes people are meditating in the room as a man just started laughing.

We were in the lay down portion with our eyes closed and his laugh was so comical.

Everybody exploded.

And,

You know,

I laughed with him for a while.

And then I made myself stop and I thought,

All right,

I want to focus here.

I want to stay like in the zone,

You know?

And I thought,

Uh,

Right before this meditation started to give context,

It was the first time I've seen Dr.

Joe do this.

He showed slides of examples of different types of mystical experiences,

Because this was one meditation that was kind of preparing us for the,

Uh,

Pineal gland meditation the next day early in the morning.

And it was a week long retreat.

So there were a lot of people who that's their first retreat.

So we're like leading up to building up on the knowledge.

So I remember there was a picture of a woman in a white nightgown laying on her bed and her gold soul is coming out of her.

And the example was out of body experience.

And I thought,

Could I now with everyone laughing,

Could I one not laugh?

And two,

Could I just like leave my body?

And it was just like a question I posed and I relaxed and I pictured that gold soul and it happened to me.

Not only did it happen to me,

The meditation finished.

Dr.

Joe made a joke when he closed the meditation since everyone was laughing.

They laughed more.

He starts giving instructions for the next meditation and for the break.

And I am still out of my body.

I eventually am able to sit up and I still have my meditation blindfold on.

I'm now sitting with my legs,

Cross-leg style and I'm still here.

I'm sitting up,

But I'm here.

And eventually people are packing up to go on the break and it takes me a while to get out of it.

And I was just like,

What happened?

I literally just asked and I'll say like a practical 3D thing I learned from that.

I said,

From now on,

I'm just going to ask everything I want,

Just ask,

See what's going to happen.

So I'll do that in meditations,

But also different opportunities,

Whatever it is,

Like a family dynamic,

A friend dynamic,

Just ask,

See what happens.

It felt like such a loving gift from the divine.

I didn't think that was going to happen and I thought I would need many decades more of experience to be able to do that.

I love how you just,

You're telling the story and then you just gloss over.

And then I had an out-of-body experience before I even got there on the plane.

And then I had an out-of-body experience,

You know,

And I was like,

Wait,

What,

What?

Okay.

So was the out-of-body experience on the plane,

The first one you'd ever had?

No.

So the first one was in May,

The retreat in Washington,

DC.

And it was interesting because,

I mean,

It was interesting because wow,

I always wanted to have one.

And what is great is a lot of the meditations,

There's a lie down portion.

So we'll like have a sheet or yoga mat in front of our chairs.

And that is because we're the autonomic nervous system.

So you can absorb all that information you gave it.

You're not just jumping up now and getting a sandwich or something.

So,

So that lay down portion,

You lay on your back.

So I usually have my sneakers off.

I'll have socks on for that.

And I was kind of scrambling to be ready when the meditation started.

So I still had my sneakers on.

And I remembered,

I went really deep somewhere in that lay down portion.

But I remembered distinctly,

It was an awkward feeling because my sneakers,

I could feel the angle there on the heels on the ground.

And there was a moment,

Even though I was like so far gone in the meditation,

I realized,

I don't feel my sneakers.

And then when I realized that,

I came back into my sneakers.

I realized I was not there.

So I told a new friend of the retreat,

She's a friend of a friend.

And she said,

Oh,

Well,

Now it's gonna happen all the time.

It happens to me all the time.

And I said,

Okay,

It didn't happen again,

Until that next retreat.

And that happened on the plane ride there.

And then for the registration,

You know,

After registration before the retreat started,

So it just started happening a lot.

But now that was like the new level of it.

So I really nerd out on this because I didn't want to,

It wasn't really glossing over,

I just didn't know how much time we had.

So I didn't want to go through all those those steps.

But to me,

I,

You know,

It just feels like such a gift,

Because it's like,

A peek into what we really are what's happening behind the curtain,

You know?

Oh,

My gosh,

That's so weird.

You use that language,

Because one of my most mystical experiences,

I literally I've been thinking about it all day today,

Was I got to peek behind a So I was,

And my listeners have heard this story multiple times.

So I was dreaming,

But it was the kind of dream where I was like,

Awake inside the dream.

And I was floating out,

Looking at the universe,

I was floating in the universe.

And it was so beautiful.

It was just beautiful.

And there was the background hum of the universe.

And I was just marveling at its beauty and how spectacular it was.

And then this figure came on from the side and said,

Oh,

You think that's real?

Let me show you what's real.

And he pulled down,

He reached down to the bottom of the universe,

And he pulled it back like a curtain.

And there was I was confronted or embraced.

Confronted is a little aggressive,

But embraced,

I guess you could say by.

And again,

It was a noetic experience.

So I can't really,

There are no,

There's no words,

There's no language for it.

But it was,

It was love.

But it was beyond love.

It was like,

I don't know,

Love that had weight,

If that makes any sense.

Yeah,

You're like,

Yes,

It does.

It does.

Yeah.

I Yeah,

I know that.

I know what you mean.

It's when you're like,

Oh,

I didn't know love.

There could be that much love.

It's a Yeah,

Vast.

Yeah.

And it was one of those things where I woke up.

And it was so disturbing to me.

This happened years ago.

It was so disturbing.

Because it was such a visceral experience.

I mean,

I knew the whole thing was so real,

That I all of a sudden,

Thought to myself,

Well,

I don't want to be here.

You know,

Because here's sucks.

I'd rather be there.

If that's the truth of everything.

I was actually incredibly angry for multiple years for being shown that and resentful and filled with rage.

I mean,

I was I was it was not a good situation.

And then finally,

I found an acupuncturist who I confided to him what I'd experienced.

And he was like,

All right.

All right.

He was very no nonsense.

He's like,

We're gonna,

We're gonna make you want to stay in this life.

That's what we're gonna work on.

And so but it was it was not all these visions lead to happy ever after.

Oh,

I know what you mean.

I haven't had that where I want to just be there full time.

I mean,

It's time.

Great.

I no longer have a fear of death,

Because I'm like,

Oh,

That's what's there.

Okay.

So,

But I know what you mean.

And in the beginning of when I just started having mystical experiences,

I would often inadvertently interrupt them because I'd be like,

Oh,

And I would change,

You know,

My brain states so much,

It would just stop.

And so I had to teach myself how to feel the odd but not kind of cut the moment short.

So I just remember that feeling of like,

I don't want it to go away.

Yeah,

Because it's just indescribable.

Yeah.

I hope you enjoyed this conversation and her sense of humor,

Her intelligence and her grace.

I frankly can't imagine the level of loss that she's experienced.

It's kind of beyond my comprehension.

But I think she is one of the rare examples of someone who kept going and despite the tragedy,

Despite the heartbreak,

And has found life and beauty and abundance on the other side.

So I think we can all look at Chinoa and know what's possible for us.

Thank you everyone for listening.

I so appreciate it.

If you could find it in your hearts to give me a rating or a review,

I would be ever so grateful.

Please do consider rating or reviewing because it helps other people find this labor of love of mine.

Thank you for listening.

And here's my one request.

Be like Chinoa.

I mean,

She just absolutely walked through the valley of the shadow of death.

And by that,

I mean,

Through a period of life that was so dark,

And so sad,

And so surprising that sometimes you can't see out on the other side.

But she kept going.

And she kept walking.

And she had faith that all ultimately would be well.

So be like Chinoa.

And if you have things that happen,

And if you too experience an event that breaks your heart,

Just know that there is life and abundance on the other side of it.

Remember that no matter what you go through,

No matter what you endure,

There is something out there that is waiting for you.

And it's so much bigger than you can ever imagine.

And it's so much more abundant and gorgeous than you can ever possibly conceive.

I want to make sure I pronounce your name correctly.

It is beautiful.

Is it Chinoa?

Yes.

Yes.

Inez.

Inez.

Inez.

Okay.

And that was your great grandmother's name?

Yes.

Beautiful.

Oh,

My gosh.

And I'm still just gobsmacked that your grandmother is 101.

Yes.

Five days from now.

She had her huge 100th birthday party last year.

And it was the first time she just started using a cane last year.

And she came out like just tonight,

And she starts dancing with the canes.

And she's still going.

She is like,

You know,

She was the party girl,

The birthday girl,

Full of celebration.

Yeah.

She's unstoppable.

She really is.

It's inspiring to see,

Really.

Oh,

My gosh.

At least now,

You know longevity runs in your family as well.

Yeah.