Episode Sixty-Nine: The Byte - Holly Scheib
Holly's story reminds us all of what it is like to welcome those we don't know - and how important it is to have difficult conversations. In this shorter episode, her miracle stories remind us that community and acceptance will be what saves us.
Transcript
Welcome to episode 69 of Bite-Sized Blessings,
Where I get to interview Holly.
On her Facebook page,
She says she's involved in public health and community development,
As well as trying her best.
I like to think that all of us in this world are trying our best,
No matter what that looks like.
She and I had somewhat similar childhoods.
She grew up in a military family,
So moved many,
Many times as a child.
And like me,
Who grew up overseas,
You kind of learn how to be the new kid.
You learn how to welcome the stranger when you recognize that person that's moved somewhere and they don't know anyone.
You learn how to be comfortable in situations that are new,
That are unexpected.
When life throws you a curveball,
I kind of think that those of us who lived many places as kids,
We have a little more resilience,
Because we've had to.
At any rate,
Our conversation took a really welcoming and sweet turn,
As Holly told stories about what it's been like to work in her profession.
Whether it's having a conversation with someone that you truly don't agree with at the onset,
Sometimes you experience the miracle of understanding and compassion and welcoming where you least expect it.
And that's what this conversation is about.
So now,
Episode 69 of Bite-Sized Blessings.
I sit down with this one guy,
One on one.
OK,
It's women's studies and he's,
You know,
He's like,
You know,
Not going to engage.
And so I say,
OK,
Well,
Let's start out this way.
Let's let's define what a feminist is.
And he just sort of looks at me like a little unsure.
I say,
I'll start.
And I start,
We make a list.
I say,
I write man hating,
Hairy armpits,
You know,
And then he's like into it.
He's like,
Oh,
Yeah,
You know,
Lesbian,
You know,
Smelly,
You know,
Right.
I'm like,
Let's make this great list.
We make this list.
And I'm like,
OK,
Like,
Can we agree?
Like,
These are all the things like,
You know,
Feminists,
You're comfortable with this.
Yes.
OK,
Well,
Let's do now we're going to do football player.
I'll start rapist,
Dumb jock.
You know,
Meathead.
And so what we did is we made an agreement right from the beginning,
Like I won't believe these things about you if you don't necessarily believe these things about me.
The most the core part of my belief system is that I believe that I believe in people,
You know,
People we can do really,
Really horrible things,
But we can also do really amazing,
Wonderful things.
And those things can be very small and those things can be very big.
I love experiencing moments of magic with,
You know,
With other people.
So many,
Many years ago,
This was like I was in college.
So I'm like 20.
I went to Virginia Tech.
My husband and I both went to Virginia Tech.
And I was a tutor for the women's studies program.
And this was right when the Christie Bruns,
Kala rape case involving a number of Virginia Tech football players,
It went all the way to the Supreme Court and actually overturned the Violence Against Women Act.
It's a big deal.
Football players of Virginia Tech went through a number of just sort of,
You know,
Like be better citizens of the world sort of training.
And several of them took and showed a women's studies the athletic program as they do with a lot of courses for their athletes requested a tutor.
So I got sent to the football program to tutor football players in women's studies.
And in retrospect,
I know why they,
You know,
I have always looked kind of the way that I do and which is like very unassuming,
Right?
And even within sort of,
You know,
The women's studies clubs and things like that,
Like I'm a little bit of an outlier just in the way that I've always been a little mainstream.
I've never felt like my outside needed to be any different.
I don't know.
It's just not me.
It's not how I express myself.
So I'm cute as a button and I'm in with these football players and I sit down like,
You know,
Our first day and you can tell you can tell right off the bat.
Like these guys are doing this because they really think it's a joke.
So I sit down with this one guy or one-on-one.
Okay,
It's women's studies and he's,
You know,
He's like,
You know,
Not going to engage.
And so I say,
Okay,
Well,
Let's start out this way.
Let's define what a feminist is.
And he just sort of looks at me like he's a little unsure.
I say,
I'll start.
And I start,
We make a list.
I say,
I write man-hating,
Hairy armpits,
You know,
And then he's like into it.
He's like,
Oh,
Yeah,
You know,
Lesbian,
You know,
Smelly,
You know,
Right?
I'm like,
Let's make this great list.
We make this list.
And I'm like,
Okay,
Like,
Can we agree?
Like,
These are all the things,
Like,
You know,
You're a feminist,
You're comfortable with this.
Yes.
Okay.
Well,
Let's do,
Now we're going to do football player.
I'll start.
Rapist,
Dumb jock,
You know,
Meathead.
And so what we did is we made an agreement right from the beginning.
Like,
I won't believe these things about you if you don't necessarily believe these things about me.
That maybe we exist a little differently and we can suspend these things.
And I think starting out that way,
We ended up forming a bit of a friendship.
And he talked about like,
You know,
The pills they make them take every morning before the gym.
And he has no idea what they are.
And so we were able to kind of break that down in a little gendered,
You know,
Like what we were able to have conversations and bring these things around.
So anyway,
One day he walks in and he's like,
Oh my gosh,
Holly.
So this particular guy,
He had like three sisters.
He was the only boy in three sisters.
And he said,
I was driving here and there was a sign men at work.
And I realized my sister works in like municipal services where she goes to like work sites on,
You know,
Different construction areas.
And it says men at work as if only men do that work,
But my sister does it.
And I and I was like,
Yeah,
That's what a feminist lens is.
It's seeing something like that and having that moment of like,
Wait,
There's something gender going on.
And so I talk about those aha moments and stuff like that where this like little,
The little notice right of the sign put this light bulb in this guy's mind and made him sort of rethink how the world was ordered,
Like who was standing there.
Yeah,
And that's I think that's like the first experience I can think of that kind of aha,
But that was a really,
Really big one for me.
Thank you so much for listening to episode 69 of Bite Sized Blessings,
Where I got to interview my dear friend,
Holly.
I hope you enjoyed the conversation and it was a good reminder for me that there are opportunities every day to welcome the stranger to be kind to reach out.
If someone needs something,
I want to take this moment to ask everyone if they'd consider going to Apple or Spotify,
Wherever you listen to your podcasts and consider writing a rating and review.
Those ratings and reviews are so important and they help others find us.
I need to thank the creators of the music used for this episode,
Sasha End,
Alexander Nakarada,
Alex Productions,
Frank Schroeder,
And Brian Holt's music.
I'd also like to thank Holly for her time and her generosity of spirit in sharing her stories.
Thank you for listening.
And here's my one request.
Be like Holly.
Be open to the adventure.
Be open to creating partnerships,
Relationships,
Communities,
Because in the end,
I truly believe it's going to be community and those we share friendships with,
Those we create families with.
That's going to be what saves us.
And after all,
It's always good to have more friends.
