Byte: Kelli Scarr ~ The Unexpected And Magical Healing!

Kelli tells a beautiful story about reconciliation and healing this time-and it has to do with her time traveling with the artist Moby...and being a new mother. Suffice it to say, she was conflicted about that time and how she was present to her son, and then something magical happened!

Transcript

Greetings,

Everyone.

I think it is really appropriate that I'm releasing my conversation with Kelly Skarr the day before the solstice,

Because Kelly is involved in some really groovy work that has to do with myth,

With magic,

And with caves,

And with music as well.

Now,

I'm going to be using a little bit from Wikipedia,

As well as a little bit from Kelly's own website to introduce her.

So,

From Wikipedia,

Kelly Skarr is an Emmy-nominated composer,

Producer,

Multi-instrumentalist,

And singer.

She was featured on Moby's album,

Wait For Me,

And collaborated with him on National Public Radio's Project Song,

Resulting in the track,

Gone to Sleep.

And also,

Fun fact,

Kelly was nominated for an Emmy Award for her work on the HBO documentary,

In a Dream.

And I am here to tell you that she has the most incredible voice.

She does a little bit of singing in this episode.

I frankly wished we could have talked for about two or three hours,

Because our conversation was just so great.

So now,

From her website,

Kelly is doing some really incredible work in the world.

Just this year,

She unveiled Greater Mysteries,

Which is an immersive album and performance experience that draws on timeless mythic journeys to the underworld.

And we do talk about that process,

And how Kelly is creating this really interesting intersection between,

Well,

What I consider to be dreaming,

Myth,

Imagination,

Belonging to the underworld,

The unconscious,

The subconscious,

Music,

Art,

I imagine dance as well.

And yeah,

She had an event this year that took place in a cave.

And I am telling her that I'm going to this event next year,

Because it looks and sounds just phenomenal.

We talk about how she ended up where she is today.

But she was raised in Northern California,

And her musical journey began in church.

And that led her to Berklee College of Music before she settled in New York City.

She's done a ton of different kinds of projects,

From fronting the bands Moonraker and Salt and Sambovar,

To a significant collaboration writing,

Recording and touring with Moby,

As I stated before.

She's also composed music for dozens of films,

TV shows and commercials.

But yeah,

For me,

The most exciting thing was this project that she's working on called Greater Mysteries.

So now,

Without further ado,

Here's my conversation with the incredibly talented and very gracious Kelly Skarr.

So I like,

I joined Moby's band,

And I was like playing keys and I was singing and I was like,

Having the time of my life like flying in private planes,

Staying in five star hotels and getting room service.

Yeah,

Until they shut that all down.

But like,

Yeah,

It was it was a really good ride.

And it was also really challenging because I was a mom.

And at the time,

My son was two.

I'm going to share a story that's like pretty vulnerable and I haven't shared publicly before,

But it feels appropriate.

So and there's a couple layers of magic to the story.

So I think I mentioned earlier,

You know,

That there was this period of time when I was playing with the Moby or the musician Moby.

And just to backtrack a little bit,

In my mid 20s,

I was in a band called Salt and Sambovar.

And we had a show scheduled at this bar in New Jersey.

Just kind of like a regular,

You know,

Thursday night kind of show.

And as we got closer to the performance date,

The headliner backed out.

And so I think the promoter was like really scrambling,

Was like,

How am I going to like find a replacement and especially like someone who can like draw a crowd?

And so apparently he like posted a video on YouTube saying,

Like,

If any of the following musicians agree to play this show,

I'll play you $1,

000.

And Moby was one of them.

And I guess,

I don't know if someone forwarded it to him or what,

But somehow Moby sees this video and reaches out to the promoter and is like,

Yeah,

Sure,

I'll play your show.

And so I like accidentally end up opening for Moby.

And I can't quite explain what happened,

But I will say that I felt this really strong impulse to just be so present and so in devotion to the music that night.

And something happened because then like a few days later,

Moby reached out to my then bandmate via Myspace and asked for my info.

And so we start like hanging out and he asked me to sing on his record.

I sang on this record he put out called Wait For Me.

And then he jumped on board with this album I was working on at the time called Peace and became one of the co-producers.

And then eventually he asked me to go on tour with him.

Like he was like,

I'm going to Europe for six weeks.

Will you please come?

And I was like,

Yes.

Yeah.

So I like,

I joined Moby's band and I was like playing keys and I was singing and I was like having the time of my life,

Like flying in private planes,

Staying in five star hotels,

Like getting room service.

Yeah.

Until they shut that all down.

But like,

Yeah,

It was,

It was a really good ride.

And it was also really challenging because I was a mom and at the time my son was two.

Yeah.

So I was leaving my son at,

You know,

A really critical time in terms of like his development and the development of our relationship and his,

You know,

Feeling of attachment and safety.

And it was really,

It was a really conflicted time for me because I was like,

Oh,

This is such an incredible opportunity,

But like,

I'm really sacrificing so much.

And I ended up touring with him off and on for about two years.

And,

And eventually,

You know,

We,

We went our separate ways and that experience of conflict and regret really weighed on me for,

For a long time of like,

Man,

Like really doubting myself.

And like,

Did I do the right thing?

Like,

Because,

You know,

I had learned so much from the experience.

I learned a lot about what I did like about being a tour musician and a lot of stuff,

But I,

That I didn't like,

And I hadn't,

Had I not gone,

I wouldn't have had those lessons,

But I was also like,

Did I fuck up my kid,

You know,

And is this going to come back to,

To bite both of us?

So all to say it,

Like it's,

It weighed on me for a long time.

And then fast forward to 2021,

I was,

I joined a,

An online women's circle that was all about unpacking,

Being good enough.

And we met weekly and we were guided through these visualization exercises and we took turns practicing nature and energy healing work on one,

Each other.

And each week we would like take turns working with these tools to heal a member of the group.

And when it was my turn to,

To receive the healing energy from the group,

I was invited to visualize myself in like a really safe place in nature.

And I immediately went to this ridge that I had spent a lot of time on during the pandemic that just was like covered in the like softest,

Most nurturing moss ever and surrounded by like all of these amazing pine trees.

And there was like a river with like a waterfall.

And so I,

I,

I immediately saw myself in that place.

And then the facilitator then invited me to,

To let come to the surface something painful and something that I was needing healing around,

Like being good enough.

And in this wound around my mother and came up.

And I start to see my son like walking towards me on,

On the ridge and he's like young,

His younger self.

And I'm just like apologizing to him for leaving him.

And I'm like apologizing to myself and trying to send myself love and compassion.

And then all of a sudden I just feel this like really palpable energy surrounding me.

And it's these women sending me loving light and healing energy.

And then out of nowhere,

My son who is 14 at the time and in the room,

The next room over yells out,

I love you mom.

And I just lost it.

Yeah.

I can't believe I just told that without crying.

Yay.

I'm like,

I,

I just felt so called to share this story because I think it demonstrates the magic of intention and attention and our ability to heal each other and ourselves.

And also how fast healing can be sometimes,

Because I think a lot of times what keeps us in the fear state of like,

I can't even touch that wound is this misconception that like going into the wound is going to take over and it's going to take your entire life to fix that thing.

And like in that instant,

We were all healed.

Okay.

Everyone was I speaking the truth when I was saying that Kelly is so very groovy and talented and funny and self-effacing and just really,

Really,

Really groovy because I feel like that cannot be overstated.

Um,

We need her magic in this world.

We need someone who's so dynamic and whose talents are diverse and whose nature is incredibly generous.

And Kelly is all that and more.

I really,

Really could have talked to her for like a day and a half.

I swear to God.

Anyway,

I want to thank Kelly for being on the show.

I'm really grateful that she and I are on earth at the same time so that we could have this conversation.

And so I could meet another person that gives me hope,

Quite honestly,

Knowing that there's so much gorgeousness in the world and Kelly and her life and her work and her way of being in the world is just a testament how we can never lose hope.

How we can never forget that there are so many people out there trying to make this world a more gorgeous and expansive place.

Uh,

Yeah.

And I think this is where I ask for ratings and reviews.

If you appreciated this conversation with Kelly,

If you liked hearing her story,

If you've liked any of the stories that I've brought,

Please do consider leaving a rating and writing a little review.

Um,

Those ratings and reviews are so helpful.

So many people find the podcast because of other people's accolades.

So I would appreciate any and all of the love you can give me this holiday season because I do work hard on it and it makes me happy to do so.

Um,

But yeah,

I'd love to see a few more ratings or maybe another review.

Thank you for listening.

And here's my one request.

Be like Kelly.

I mean,

I don't know.

Kelly is so multi-talented.

I mean,

She just saw her talents or witnessed her capacities for music and voice and joy when she was young and she just went for it.

I mean,

If that's not an unstoppable spirit,

I don't know what is.

Plenty of people can look at their talents and say,

Okay,

I'm pretty good at that.

Okay.

I have a pretty good voice.

Um,

And then they never follow up.

They never follow through.

They never utilize their gifts,

Their talents,

Their charisms to make this world a beautiful place.

But Kelly's doing it and she's owning it and she's going farther and further than anyone else before her because she is now blending the magic that she has discovered and utilizing her talents to bring the rest of us revelation.

But whatever she's doing,

It is causing us to think,

To ponder,

To consider,

And to maybe understand that there are depths that we haven't yet plumbed as humans and that we still have so much farther to go while Kelly's leading the way for all of us.

She's showing us the way.

So be like Kelly and find your own path.

Find what you're good at and illuminate a way forward for the rest of us because we need each and every one of you to discover your gifts,

Discover what you're good at,

And then hold a lantern for the rest of us so we too can find our way forward in the dark.