Understanding Anger - Healthy & Not: Levels Of Consciousness

Anger is a fascinating topic. On the one hand, we aren't allowed to feel it so we bury it. On the other, some people wield it like a sword in grown-up tantrums and rage. Some people live in silent anger that eats them alive. Let's discuss the whole range - from the healthy to the damaging. You will find more from this "Levels of Consciousness Series" here on my profile.

Transcript

So today we're continuing our conversation about David Hawkins' book Power versus Force and if you google map of consciousness or levels of consciousness you'll find this chart.

And today we're talking about anger and anger is a really interesting one because sometimes it's a really positive thing and sometimes it's really negative especially if it becomes a state that we're living in as opposed to a reaction that brings positive action.

So anger is not always negative and what's really interesting is when we look at this chart none of these none of these are always negative.

There are always things we can look at you know like every single thing that comes across our path can be informative,

It can be crippling,

It can be addicting,

It can be used to hurt people like you know it's sort of that thing a knife can be used to spread butter or kill someone like everything is interesting grist for the mill and anger is the same.

It's not across the board always bad or always good or anything like that.

It always asks us to step back and observe what's going on and say hmm okay this is a really healthy anger right or this is this is not okay I've got it I've got to figure out how to get past this now.

So it always there's no big wide brush that we can just say and this is anger.

So for example when we look at the chart the lowest level is shame and the number there is 20.

The next one up is guilt and that number is 30.

The next one up is apathy and that number is 50.

Those numbers are not linear.

30 is not 10 more than 20.

50 is not 20 more than 30.

These are logarithmic numbers and what that means is those numbers are exponents.

This is like 10 to the 20,

10 to the 30,

10 to the 50.

So for example if you are in a place of shame you are so easily controlled right.

If someone can shame me into doing something I have no power none.

I am I am a pure victim and I feel that in my whole being.

It's not a character flaw it's just for whatever reason I'm in a place where shame works on me and I don't know why but it does and I am powerless.

Like it's the it's not a it's nothing to be ashamed of.

It's just a place where others can completely control us.

Whereas guilt which is at 30 so that's if you take that's 10 to the 10 more so that's 10 with 10 zeros times 10 to the 20 zeros right.

My math isn't coming out clear right now but just so you know it's not just 10 plus it's way more guilt is way more powerful than shame because now at least I've stepped into the ring.

I feel bad about something I did.

I feel bad about that thing.

Someone else isn't doing it to me.

I feel bad about it.

Apathy is at 50.

Apathy is way higher than shame and guilt because at least in apathy I have the power to go you know what I don't even care.

I don't care yeah whatever throw your guilt at me throw your shame at me I don't even care.

Like it's a little and again I'm not saying I want to live in an apathetic state but it's more powerful considerably more powerful than shame or guilt right.

Grief is more powerful than apathy because we allowed ourselves to feel something.

We are no longer in an apathetic state because it's sort of that well I risked loving and I lost even if I get stuck in that state it's still a more alive state than apathy right and then we keep going up the up the ladder here.

Fear fear is above grief because now I'm risking and I'm oh I'm terrified and I'm you know I'm reaching out again and we'll talk more about these in other talks.

Desire desire is next and it's the beginning of going okay you know what even though I'm afraid I want this yeah you know what I'm gonna crawl out of this hole and this is what I want.

We recently did a talk on desire it it'll be uploaded it's uploaded already but it'll take a couple days for for insight timer to make it make it real and then anger anger the number of anger is a hundred and fifty.

A hundred and fifty ten with a hundred and fifty zeros.

Think how much more powerful that is than shame ten with twenty zeros.

A hundred and fifty zeros as opposed to twenty zeros.

Anger is so much more powerful than shame.

It is so much more powerful than guilt.

It is so much more powerful than apathy.

So this is where anger can be very very powerful in our journey and this is where it's really important for us to be honest with ourselves about where we really are.

In in the spiritual world there's a lot of discussion about spiritual bypassing and this is really interesting because sometimes as humans we don't want to admit that I'm actually gripped in grief I can't get over this this loss or I'm I'm actually lost in fear we don't want to admit that to ourselves so we look we look on a chart like this and go oh okay you know what I'm just gonna choose one of those higher vibrations I'm just gonna choose love just gonna choose love that's it you know the thing right I don't want to I don't want to do it and there's a problem there because we're not letting our soul experience whatever it's meant to experience there's nothing wrong with whatever our soul came in with what if what if my soul came in and I have 20 lifetimes of stuff that I need to sort out that that's why I'm here like we didn't come here to be whatever you want to call perfect you know we didn't come here to all be the Buddha or something we came here to have an it have a juicy soul experience so it's really valuable to be able to say wow wow shame still grips me son of a gun like oh I really thought I was over that like it's so powerful to be able to really look at ourselves and say nope I'm really angry just to just own it you know and not not feel badly about it because anger so for example one of the great things that anger does and I am gonna talk about why anger is below courage and all that later but I want to talk about the positive aspects of anger first anger is the power that helps us rise out of all of those challenging emotional states like shame guilt apathy grief fear desire if we have lived a life and this is most of the population when David Hawkins was alive he did a study and I don't I don't have the numbers right now but he did a study and he basically said that something like 80% of the population was resonating below 120 like below fear or at fear or something like that like it was a huge percentage and that there was a very small percentage of people who actually were living in a state of courage let alone neutrality willingness reason love all those kind of things so to understand that most of us were raised by people who were wrestling with fear guilt shame apathy grief anger you know most of us are surrounded by friends and and married people you don't even this is a huge soup we're swimming in and it's so helpful to be able to just look at it and go yep yep that's for some reason I don't understand it but that's where I am right now all right let's look at that so for example let's say you're in a relationship and let's say it's dysfunctional so let's say that within that relationship you've been easily controlled by being shamed maybe that person would look at you and shame you for your body too tall too short too fat too thin not big enough boobs not big enough whatever right or maybe they shamed you for where you were born who you were born to your life path choices you made you know yeah well you know of course you do that so imagine shame had controlled you in this relationship and you can insert romantic relationship parental relationship job friend group anything you want here imagine one day you got angry and you just you know something happened in the middle of the shaming and you went no that's enough you don't get to shame me that's enough this is anger this is powerful anger like you can feel the difference in that stop enough and the power of the anger is what holds the boundary that that that strength is what says that's enough right this is very very powerful and this is not an anger to be oh I don't want to be angry because this is what we say I don't want to be angry because maybe we were raised with people who were who had rage and rage is not anger rage is a temper tantrum rage is because you didn't get your way and if you look at that oftentimes well the reason we have a temper tantrum for example is anger is sitting right on top of desire on the chart right so let's say you are driven by desire right in a really negative way and you want the car you want the prestige you want the cookie maybe you're two years old or you're 42 years old but you want something and you've had a no said to you maybe it was sex and your partner said no and you sulked or went into a rage or whatever you know I'm saying the anger is actually manifesting a frustrated desire and that's just a tantrum that's not that's not some healthy healthy boundary or anything like that that's just a tantrum and sometimes if we were raised with parents who used adult temper tantrums to control their children like anger can be used to control others that if don't make me angry don't make me angry okay okay okay okay and this is not healthy in any way this is pure force this is childish unconscious behavior right and so you know I mean if someone tries to pull a temper tantrum I don't yell at them or increase it or incite it or make it worse but I do consider them like when my children were two years old and they would have a tantrum and they're just being thwarted and they're just angry and they don't know what else to do because from whatever whatever reason emotionally they didn't evolve past that two-year-old and lots of people are like that I don't even that sounds really judgmental but it's just a fact like emotional growth isn't taught in fact we're told that if we're unhappy just go to your room and that never gets fixed right so why would we be any different when we're 42 than when we're two no one ever taught us how to actually process the frustration find a new space you know what I mean like it's a very understandable thing but not we don't want to be controlled by someone else's you know tantrum so oftentimes if we're raised in a home where the parents not only have tantrums against the children but they have them against each other we become very afraid of being angry we don't want to be angry so we don't even get to use the anger to rise out of shame to rise out of guilt to rise out of apathy to rise out of fear right and this is a real challenge and this is why it's really valuable to look at the positive aspects of anger because if we are living in fear then anger is a positive thing it's a it's a springboard to actually making change in our life you know so it's really important to see that and again I don't mean anger like hurting others that's never ever ever it we some people again because they've been raised with abuse or the threat of abuse or things like that that anger means lashing out verbally lashing out physically that is not ever what I mean by anger I mean anger saying no that's enough and the power of holding that boundary is so so strong imagine even this without a relationship imagine this within forget about someone else just imagine within our own soul's journey what if I personally feel shame about something and therefore I don't believe I deserve anything good in life or maybe I feel guilt I don't even know why I feel guilt maybe I was taught to feel guilt from by my family church state who knows maybe it's past life karma that I don't understand maybe it's ancestral guilt I don't know why but for some reason I feel guilt and so my personal soul's path is thwarted because I don't feel like I should be allowed to step forward in life or maybe I feel apathetic about my own life and I feel like you know what whatever I'm not even gonna step out because it's not even worth it or maybe I'm stuck in grief or maybe I'm stuck in fear or I'm stuck in desire and then one day I'm sitting in in meditation and I suddenly get angry and I think what is this I deserve to be here I deserve this so I'm I'm being reminded of a story so one time one time at band camp I was it actually was some of you guys know that when I first started studying Tantra I I used to go away to these Tantra retreats and and they weren't really they were sexual in that we would do yoni massage and there was a lot of nudity and there was a lot of work with consent and shame and all this kind of thing but it wasn't actually like sex camp but my kids were teenagers at the time and we had six teenagers living in the house if you're new to my world I only have two but four more moved in and so I would go away to these retreats in California and I would come home and I would tell them stories and make okay so one time at sex camp so this story actually begins with so one time at sex camp so we were doing some kind of chakra meditation every morning we would get up and we would do these standing meditations and sometimes we would move through the chakras sometimes it would be an osho meditation where you're shaking you know doing all this stuff well at this time I was in a really I was really having a struggle in my life I was in the midst of realizing my marriage was over I had six teenagers living at home not that that was a challenge I love teenagers I was starting to get an inkling that I had to shift my business and sell my train station there was a lot going on in my world that was really really really hard and but I was soldiering forward right I I was keeping my stoic self and a bit of spiritual bypassing for sure because I want to be above all these negative feelings so I was probably I was probably you know definitely not admitting to myself how angry I actually was in life so anyway every day we would do these meditations and there was this one guy in the class so the way these retreats would work this was down in north of San Francisco in the States and this one guy who he'd been to a lot of these retreats so he knew that he was allowed to express himself and just you know dive all into his emotions and I'd never done anything like this in my life I had no I was the crazy person back home here I was like a stoic nun compared to everybody there so anyway we'd be doing this meditation and going through the chakras or jumping up and down or whatever and there was this guy in the corner who was probably in his late 50s and he would just be screaming every day yelling at his dad I hate you dad you ruined my life and he's screaming all the time and I'm always looking at him every day going would you shut up like I'm having an experience here like I'm trying to have my own meditative experience so there's 30 people in the room and he's like totally just commanding the rooms attention and it's none of you like I so I was having some anger issues inside of me but of course I was swallowing them as I normally would is just swallow that anger Katrina but of course the universe is awesome and it sets you up for a great healing so every day I would go and I'd be like all in my own place doing my own have my own experience and all of us in this guy would start screaming about his dad and I would get angrier and one day he got me so angry he got me so angry right it's funny our language I lost it like I lost it I put my hands on my knees I bent over and uh and the fury that I had swallowed for 45 years came out in this primal sound that I can't even I can't even replicate it but this fury came out of me and I was like anyway the poor person that was trying to have meditate in front of me the full blast of this like just picture any cartoon character or a dragon just like that was me just pure fury coming out of me and afterwards I sat with it and I realized how angry how much anger I had swallowed my whole life and from then it's like I didn't have to express it anymore because I touched it and I couldn't lie to myself anymore so if anything ever came up that previously I might have been controlled because of fear or desire or grief or anything like that I actually had this newfound boundary that said no no I'm not swallowing this anymore you may have stuff but you're not feeding that to me any longer that's enough the hand would go up and it changed everything and I feel like a lot of us have buried anger you know there's a I mean one of my favorite movies is anger management with Adam Sandler and Jack Nicholson is the anger therapist and and he says to Adam Sandler one day he says there's two kinds of people who are angry or two kinds of angry people one is the person that goes up in the in grocery store and it's just yelling at the cashier and just you know just being completely unreasonable and then there's the cashier who's been swallowing this kind of treatment their whole life and one day snaps and brings a gun into work and you know levels everybody that kind of buried anger is really weird because what happens is sometimes we end up living in this state of anger we can't get past it because we can't express it and this is where anger this is why anger is actually below courage what that's why as powerful as it is to help us springboard out of these lower energies these more controlled emotions emotional states or the where we can be more controlled if we stay in this angry place this is all we experience in life whether we're the guy that's yelling at everybody no matter what because no matter what happens they're angry you get stuck there and you can't get past it or you're the person that doesn't allow yourself to feel angry so it gets buried inside and now we're just stuck because how can we ever ever release it right so it's always interesting when we find ourselves in a state where we're stuck in an anger pattern whether we're the kind that bury it and it just wreaks havoc with our digestive system and our inner you know who knows why we have so much anger or we express it all the time either way the question is so then what do we do how do we how do we get out of that how do we get out of this angry state well what's interesting is the eat the best thing to do is actually to look at the previous states look below the anger what is fueling this anger response because again it is a powerful response it is a it is a response against something it's a response against what if it's shame right what if what if you were deeply shamed for whatever reason by the church because you're a woman because you have a what they would call an alternative lifestyle whatever and you've experienced great shaming in your life and the anger is actually protecting you self and you're not going to be able to be a good person but it's protecting you so you from that shame and it's almost like this ready army if anyone gets anywhere close to me they're you know they're gonna get it right or what if it's guilt what if you were you know what if your family was right guilt trips they're a huge deal right guilt trips are very common way of parents controlling children society controlling people guilt is a huge thing churches controlling their people well you know what if you've had enough guilt thrown your way you might pull in some anger guards and say you're not allowed to guilt me screw you and other words right you might pull in an anger guard so it's just interesting right if anger is where you're what you're feeling a lot right imagine even grief something like grief anger easily can help us relief grief I mean if we lose someone anger is a huge response this isn't fair how could this happen why would you take them from me why would they leave I don't understand like there is there is so much anger that can be caught up in that but again is it the anger we have to look at is it the anger we need help with no it's the grief it's the apathy it's the shame it's the guilt that's where we need to look that's where the healing comes that's where we actually find ourselves we heal it and then we can send the warriors away and we don't need it anymore so another big question becomes what do we do when we live with people who are angry what do we do if it's our partner what if it's our children what if it's our parents what if it's our boss what if it's our friends what if it's our entire social group or whatever what if anger is just the norm and I don't know how to you know what if what if the person I love and want to spend the rest of my life with what if they're caught in an anger loop what do I do well what's what's interesting about living with people who are stuck in anger is the question again becomes personal where we say well where am I normally resonating and again to be it's so powerful to be able to look at ourselves and I'm gonna say this through the eyes of God and I say that only because the foundation of love is a copy and a copy in Greek means to look through the eyes of God so interpret that however you like but but what that means is to actually look at ourselves with this beautiful divine perception as a soul on the earth having an experience right that we simply observe ourselves through that those eyes well if we're living with people who are angry and it's bothering us you know if people are angry around you and it doesn't bother you then it's fine but obviously sometimes this is really really hard well then the question becomes okay hold on a minute where am I at am I wrestling in a place of fear myself well if I'm wrestling with the resonance of fear if that's where I am for a hundred reasons then this is it this is a less empowered place than anger so if I'm around someone who has anger their mood will control me right they'll win if guilt is something that I'm wrestling with and someone around me has anger they win because I can't I can't get over them right if desire if I refer I'm resonating at desire because I want this and I want to be skinny and I want to have money and I want to have security and I want to have this and I want to have that or whatever someone's anger can override me and say yeah you think that's gonna happen well guess what I'm taken away like you know what I mean they can they can power over me so again this isn't this isn't like a personal judgment it's a aha interesting okay I see this I see that your anger is stimulating my grief your anger is throwing me into apathy you know it's almost like imagine in a perfect world or imagine that everything is there's you know one of my favorite mantras is what's right about this that I don't see right now so imagine you're stuck in him apathy like for whatever reason apathy is your friend because it's better than shame it's better than guilt and you know what I'm just not gonna care you know what forget it I I'm just gonna sit here and let the world roll forward because screw them I'm just that's me and then all of a sudden there's people around you who are angry and now suddenly angry people around an apathetic person they become what you call a negative leader because they own the room they drive the conversation they drive the the actions they drive what's gonna happen in the family because they're the loud one well if you just stay apathetic you have to just follow along because they're a negative leader what will pop you out of your apathy but being surrounded by angry people right suddenly you'll go okay you know what I don't want to follow the angry guy um you know what will it take for us to light the fire inside of us to say no not following you anymore no you know what I am NOT I was not put on this earth to be your butt monkey like no I I have purpose I have purpose I matter and now we're no longer apathetic so it's a really interesting thing to be surrounded by people who are driven by anger because then we have to look at ourselves and go okay hold on a minute maybe this is going to make me have to grow personally you find a different way find a different book find a different counselor find a different path make a different choice something because I don't want these angry people to control me anymore right because it's so let's imagine it differently imagine you are not resonating in one of those boxes below anger and you're in a place of courage so you personally live in a place of courage well then all of a sudden so courage what does that really mean courage means that I see this ahead of me and it is an obstacle and I'll sort it out there's no fear no guilt no apathy no nothing just oh a boulder well I either have to move it go over it or around it let's get at her that's courage so now all of a sudden someone comes to you with their anger because that's all it is it's their anger right they come to you with their anger and they start throwing it around whether it's a temper tantrum whether it's a cold shoulder whether it's trying to take something away from you or whatever and you're you you're encouraged and you look at them and you go well that's interesting so then you kind of look at them and you say so what what would you like to do about this well I just watch whatever and they're all it and you're like and you just stare at them you're like I know I know I heard you but so what what do you want to do well I'm not saying that because they just want to be angry right they're just in an angry state they're not they're not communicating with a purpose of solving anything because they're not in a state of courage but from a state of courage it's very very hard to engage with an angry person because you're solution oriented great you're just you're looking at it going I don't understand why you're communicating this to me unless we want to find a way through right or imagine you resonate at a and again you don't even have to be there like what if you are actually normally just sort of in a fear state and then that's where you are and it's all good but you're with an angry person well the beautiful thing about being human is all things are possible right now all things we have access to the whole infinite spectrum of reality right now we don't have to be anything right now except what we want to be so let's say the truth is that you're very conscious that you know what right now I'm struggling in a space of apathy that's kind of where I'm at and I'm around people who are angry and I don't know how to deal with them well you have access to the whole cornucopia of emotions so you can say to yourself okay hold on a minute I'm just going to embody neutrality for a moment and then I'm gonna look at this this way so you think about neutrality what is neutrality say in this moment well you can be angry or you cannot be angry that's okay you can withdraw that or not withdraw that that's okay you know everyone's allowed to feel however they feel that's part of being human and you just embody neutrality because you have access to it all right we just ask we say in this moment I wanna I want to feel neutral and maybe that'll help us find a different way out of this problem or maybe you want to choose courage maybe anywhere where you are in your life you say you know what I want to I want to choose courage in this moment what would courage say you know how they have those those bracelets that say what would Jesus do green up courage is that say courage is we can have bracelets that say what would courage say you know and it's the same thing because as soon as you're in a place of courage anger has no power over you like you almost don't even understand what they're saying because it doesn't make any sense it's so it's just irrelevant so you can listen just like I would listen to anyone and say wow and I wouldn't say things like wow I hear you're really angry right now do you want it like I wouldn't do some nasty thing like that that would not not honor where they are because the cool thing is like I don't know maybe it was really helpful that day that I exploded in blind fury in California but I get anger like I understand the power of anger and if someone's angry then this is an important place for them to be but it has nothing to do with me do you know what I mean like it's like I can fully embrace that someone's angry they're furious but the difference is it doesn't affect my choices it isn't something I have to take in digest process in any way because it has nothing to do with me and I think that's the difference when we sit in courage we can see that but if we are in shame or guilt we think the angers about us or it can be we can be told that it's about us and therefore it can control us and we think we have to do something about it or we have to at least take it in and digest it but we don't it's just it's just really easy to see that this person is really angry and maybe they have really good reason to be and then and that's it and it's great because then we just get to like honor each other's paths really honor it I don't mean that in a condescending way like look at you all angry and stuff not like that but genuinely like give her you know be angry it's all good but it is it is a state personally that is below courage and so in our own world forgetting about other people but in our own world if we do find ourselves stuck in anger really really worthwhile to look at what's beneath it so that we can release it it's not a happy place to live because the problem is is when we resonate at anything like that everything makes us angry even when things go well we get angry because it didn't happen fast enough or how come it had to be so hard to get here like you don't even we it's almost like it steals all the joy out of everything and so it is a worthwhile thing to really look at and it's really a worth worthwhile thing to to use when we need to so I'm gonna put my glasses on and if you have any questions please rewrite them how do you find your way out of guilt or apathy it's sort of like the anger piece where we just look at the anger directly and say okay hold on what's this all about or if we're in guilt we actually look at the guilt directly and say okay where is this coming from because sometimes these were shamed out of these emotions like we're not allowed to feel guilt we're not allowed to feel apathy we're not allowed to feel anger and then all of a sudden we're not allowed to look at them directly either right so it's really powerful to actually sit even if you meditate in the guilt and you say okay where is this really coming from is it real there's a lot of a lot of interesting questions about that and not to redirect but definitely I have a talk on here all about on insight time are all about shame and guilt and and that one might really help for sure how to release childhood anger I think again you know in the same context of this is when we look at the anger and we ask ourselves what is it what's underneath the anger so if we had a lot of things happen to us as children what is it that we're really feeling like what's under the anger it's almost like the anger is the it's the power of the lockbox on top that says we're gonna feel angry so we don't feel the emotions underneath that are so painful so maybe as a child we were neglected or abandoned or abused or hurt or molested or all these kind of things or just simply whatever underneath the childhood anger is grief or something else or feeling alone or sadness and I think the key is to look at the anger and say okay why are you there what are we really looking at because we can't heal anger angers a response a protective response to something much more vulnerable right much more close to the heart how do we know when we're spiritually bypassing versus high accessing a higher state in the moment to help us grow and deal with the situation it's almost like watching ourselves you know maybe we're kind of accessing a higher higher vibration to kind of get through something but then life happens pretty like life happens and then somebody calls or something happens and we're furious or we feel badly or we feel guilty or we're our pride is hurt or something and it's almost like we have to be humble enough to be able to say oh look at you freaking out don't go thinking you're all that like we have some weird thing that the goal of life is to be the Buddha or something and it's like no we're supposed to be here and live and experience whatever we're experiencing and so it's always interesting when connections are to be met if at all at all it still like frequently Detective 19 or 20 I don't know and I go to the I used to go for this amazing Ayurvedic massage with this man.

I think I told you guys because he would always say are you ready?

It is anyway every time I say that I always hear his voice in my head.

He's this amazing Ayurvedic doctor and One time he was he would check my pulses,

Right?

And he looks at me and he says You have so much anger inside of you.

I said,

Oh I don't I don't think I said that to him,

But I just kind of said Why really why I don't think so cuz I am so enlightened It's so Anyway,

He went on and so then he would go on to do his Ayurvedic His Ayurvedic the massage and stuff based on what he had felt in my pulses,

Right?

Anyway,

I get home and I see the tailor I'm like So,

You know what?

He said He said I had all this anger inside like that.

I I'm like,

That's so weird Like I'm not an angry person of all the emotions angers not one of them Taylor my daughter It's like staring at me and she's like what?

What and she says mom You don't get angry at the person who hurt you you just come home and bitch it all of us about them I It's like I prided myself I'm not getting angry at people in the moment But then my poor kids or my friends had to hear me bitch about it over coffee She says you do get angry you just don't express it to the person I was like Wow Total spiritual bypassing emotional bypassing It's like anyway,

So if you really want to know my true emotional state ask my daughter She'll know better So it's just uh,

But I'm not gonna say it's just uh,

But again,

But for me it was really helpful because I realized it's like I After she said that I Really thought about it like it really sat in my mind going Okay,

Hold on a minute.

And so if I was actually upset with someone I Would ask for the words in the moment to say no say something now Katrina If you're gonna bitch about it later to your kids and friends if it's worth talking about later It's worth saying right now in the moment.

And if I don't know how to say it in a nice way then Meditate in the moment.

Pray take ten deep breaths and then say something,

You know,

But say it now and So yeah,

Exactly.

It was such a blind spot for me.

It was a It was fascinating so so so fascinating.

It's We have our blind spots hundred percent How do I not lash out when in anger it's such an auto response It's really valuable to practice in a meditative state To find there's meditations that help Like it almost like really focusing on breath really focusing on Feeling the common side it's almost like creating a new a new set point so If anger is our default and we always feel angry and we lash out It's almost like a natural set point inside this happens and I fight back this happens and I fight back So the key is to reprogram this so that that's not the first response.

It's almost like But you need to release the pain underneath the anger you know,

So I've told you guys I'm addicted to tick-tock and For many many reasons that I could talk at length about But I found this woman a couple nights ago ended up just sitting there on tick-tock till like 1230 in the morning Looking at this woman's videos and She was very very heavy she and The reason I found her was because she had this video she was standing at the side and then she turned and she kind of threw her belly out and then she started dancing around with her belly and holding it up and I was like who's this woman and then I started watching her videos and About body positivity like it actually became medicine.

I couldn't stop watching this young woman's videos.

It was just the most beautiful raw thing about self-love and all these things but anyway,

So she had her story was she had lost all this weight and She had started out her journey at like 403 pounds or something and she'd lost 135 pounds and yet of course people are still hating on her and doing only but she was she's such a lovely spirit Like I just I adore this woman in one of her previous videos she Talked about how binge eating was her her suker That was how she he how she buried she was in an abusive relationship and all these things,

Right?

So one of the questions that people asked her on tick-tock was how did you heal the binge eating and she looked at them and she said I didn't I Healed all the reasons.

I was binge eating She said I I healed all the shame and guilt I I learned how to love myself.

I started meditating every day.

I Started talking to a counselor once a week.

I started I left my abusive marriage,

You know,

She said I did all these things because I Didn't want the binge eating wasn't the problem The problem was this other thing and I feel it's the same about anger Which is so much what we've come up with today.

Is that There's so much pain inside There's so there's so much hurt inside that we don't know what to do with and those responses are our They are our response in the moment to the pain inside we don't know what to do with we gotta slow down We have to just Look at what's real not get caught up in how fast we have to go through life and We're allowed to slow down we're allowed to look at what's real We're allowed to look at what's actually happening inside of us No matter what the world says we're supposed to accomplish today or this week or this month Can you imagine if we set aside all the things we were supposed to accomplish?

Therefore we had to be stoic.

Therefore we had to control ourselves and we actually took the time to self heal No,

Imagine Why do I use spiritual bypass instead of emotional bypass I I use spiritual bypassing because It's something that happens in spiritual communities It's actually emotion maybe it's a better way to call it emotional bypassing Because I want to look spiritual It's not actually spiritual It is emotional bypassing So,

Thanks so much,

We'll see you soon,

Bye bye

Reviews

Informative. Toughschanging experience.

Thanks