At The Centre Of The Wheel: Radiance Sutras Verse 151

During this session, we discuss Verse 151 of the Insight Verses from the 'Radiance Sutras', a translation of the Vijanana Bhairava Tantra by Lorin Loche. A meditation follows our discussion.

These sessions are recorded every week, and all are welcome.

Transcript

Today we are reading from the Radiant Sutras and this is a beautiful book written by Lauren Roche who interpreted the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra which is a beautiful ancient tantric text and the goal is the merging of our divine selves into our day-to-day lives and this is no small thing.

One of the greatest challenges of this is all of the systems within us are designed to live in duality.

Our brains which is a huge part of how we interpret the world is designed for duality.

It's designed we have an I have an ego which is just Latin for I am and my ego defines me as separate from you guys.

We each have an individual ego that allows us to be separate and the thrill in that is that we get to experience each other.

We can just sort of live in oneness.

We can all close our eyes.

Imagine us all sitting in a room and let's say we're sitting in a big circle facing outward and we're shoulder to shoulder.

Okay so like truly close your eyes and imagine this.

So we're sitting in this big circle with our backs facing each other and we're breathing deeply.

We're breathing into our heart center into our own oneness and bit by bit any sense of other just disappears.

Even the collective of all of us sitting in that room heightens the feeling of oneness and oneness is bliss.

This is a blissful state.

That's it.

You there you are in bliss but now let's imagine we're in that circle and we all turn around to face inside the circle.

Now all these beautiful faces are looking back at us and each individual person has a unique story and a unique path and we get to experience life with all these people and so you can imagine that that could be challenging.

Maybe to Madeline's point we'll have to understand boundaries because maybe they will naturally try to override us and take from us or something like that.

Well that's interesting and maybe other people will be so loving and kind we will completely relax in their presence and then someone else we're going to collaborate with and make music.

Maybe someone else we're going to collaborate with and make children but suddenly we're now experiencing all these other people.

Well this is the point of maya.

This is the point of duality.

It's not a bad thing.

It's why we're here.

It's why we're all individuals hanging out together but so often what happens is we get so caught up in the emotional experiences of all of these different people.

Of the highs that we just want to keep chasing and the lows that we want to avoid and we get so lost in it we forget that if all we did was just turn around 180,

180 degrees we are all in oneness again.

We forget that we are also pure bliss and this is the goal of tantra is to somehow weave these two realities together not so that each one disappears but almost like it's like a golden thread flowing through it.

I have to go get a book and read you guys something from a completely different text.

This is a book called The Sacred Jewels of Yoga.

I can't show you the cover because it's a library loan but I read this beautiful passage this morning from the Astavakra Samhita which is a another book.

I actually thought about doing it on our mornings.

We might do it after we do the Bhagavad Gita.

So this is from the Astavakra Samhita.

Light is my very nature.

I am no other than light.

When the universe manifests itself verily then it is I that shines.

This is the part I wanted to share.

Oh the universe appears in me conceived through ignorance just as silver appears in the mother of pearl a snake in the rope and the mirage in the sunbeam just as a jug dissolves into clay a wave into water and a bracelet into gold so the universe which has emanated from me will dissolve into me.

It's funny this isn't even our reading for today but I love that just as silver appears in the mother of pearl can you imagine what would life be like if my divine nature flowed through me like silver in mother of pearl or you know if you look at quartz and there's light in it this to me is the goal of tantra that it just it's it's shimmering throughout even in the midst of a difficult conversation difficult because communication I think is one of the greatest challenges of being human because on the one hand we want to commune but it's not easy so imagine you're having a difficult conversation your emotions are sort of high and you take a deep breath in and that sliver of light shines through the challenge and you look at this other person and you remember that you love this person and you just remember that wait a minute there's also a meditative version of me that isn't so angry what would she say what would he say right now this is the goal of tantra is to live in this way fully live in the body fully live in the world with these beautiful golden threads of of awareness okay so I'm going to read a sutra because that's what we're actually here for okay we are reading number 151 on page 162 but even if you have the book let's just all close our eyes for a moment and go into that heart space that we feel in that big circle with our backs to the center facing outward let's just breathe into that bliss emanating from the embrace of the goddess and her god is a wheel of delicious divine energies the center of this wheel is right where you are live here and let your heart stream with an unending flow of adoration in this way tend the altar of love what comes to you when you hear that voice what feelings or thoughts or words repeat in your mind and the altar of love holding love tenderly in our hearts and knowing it as divinity so what's interesting about this this sutra is that it's coming on the heels of the previous one of 150 so I just want to read 150 for a minute and all of this is in the context of Devi asking Bhairava or the human asking the divinity well if I am one with God who am I who do I worship that's sort of the topic that's been going on for the last couple months here I'm just going to read the previous two sutras sometimes it's hard to imagine living in that kind of bliss living in that center so the previous one is the real sacrifice because often we think about worship in terms of what can I sacrifice the real sacrifice is to let your sins be destroyed by the vast power of the universe it is to live in radiant bliss senses dissolve mind dissolves the objects of sense dissolve even the void is dissolved this is transcendence tears and then live here and let your heart stream unending flow of adoration worship the sun so what's interesting about this particular sutra is they're actually asking us to embrace duality they're actually asking us to contemplate divinity and the human so if you were to imagine we often have this goal of meditation that in meditation you sit you close your eyes and you breathe you release all external stimulus you have single-pointed focus within and then you are absorbed into the oneness this is the goal of meditation this is transcending reality this is oneness what this sutra is actually saying is contemplate your divinity and who you are all at the same time because in duality we actually do have to worship something it doesn't make any sense for us to say okay i am simply going to worship the oneness that i am a part of our brain can't handle that it's not made for that so it's very difficult to do that so here in duality we will say something like god like we will say something else that we are worshiping and what this is actually asking us to worship is us it's saying and i'm going to read a different translation of it it's actually the original translation is actually that there is shiva and shakti right we are shiva and shakti oneness they separate shiva stays in pure consciousness we become shakti so very often we like think oh i should worship shiva right i should worship pure consciousness i should worship that energy spirit of god idea and this sutra is saying shakti and shiva are the same shiva is just pure consciousness and shakti is pure manifestation worship you worship shakti and this is why i read the previous for the previous sutra about transcending our sins and getting rid of all that stuff because can you imagine worshiping you i don't mean some weird way i mean sitting down looking in the mirror and just diving in to who you are to experience oneness by fully worshiping you exactly as you are right now exactly what you think how you feel what you look like your place and everything imagine looking at you and worshiping you what would that feel like like imagine having no inner judgment of self like what if you just literally looked at your being and said what if this is perfect what if exactly who i am is exactly right i'm going to read another translation so this is a literal translation the greatest contemplation is that state where one is absorbed into the shakti of rudra otherwise how can there be any worship of that element and who is it that is to be gratified but what they're basically saying is the shakti of rudra so we are shakti and rudra is essentially shiva is essentially that pure consciousness but it's that masculine clarity of self that clarity that goes into us and cleans out all the nonsense so that we can be our truest selves that's what shakti of rudra is so now imagine that within yourself feel that part of you that the purest essence of who you are it's almost like there's who we are and then there's all these little hangar honors little things that our parents have said and things that society says and things that whatever but clear all that out just for a moment clear all that out all the other and feel your shakti of rudra feel who you really are the essence of who you are so the greatest contemplation is that state where one is absorbed into the shakti of rudra the greatest contemplation is where you truly dive into who you really are that that is your object of worship and the reason they talk about the contemplation and what they were talking about you know absorption and gratified and all that what they're basically saying is how do we get to enjoy life if we're always trying to transcend it look we're always trying to transcend reality but what if you are the miracle like exactly as you are right now how differently would we see the world how differently would we look at ourselves in the mirror it's like you look in the mirror and you're like hey here we go instead of all these curious ideas that think oh i wish i was different i wish i was stronger i wish i was smarter i wish i was thinner i wish i whatever i wish i had a partner i wish i didn't have a partner i wish i had children i wish you know what i mean like we have so many weird things that sit in our brains that don't let us enjoy this incredible miracle that we are so part of this journey of tantra is letting go of all of that letting go of all the ideas that says there is anything wrong with you or letting go of any ideas that we're still holding on that regret that i shouldn't have done that and i shouldn't have done this and i shouldn't have you know that in reality there's this like wonderful place within us that we can dive into and feel total bliss all the time one of the words one of the sanskrit words in this one is kshetra and kshetra means pilgrimage very often you know we will do a pilgrimage to go to a place where maybe a saint lived and because we want to feel this pureness of soul we want to feel this sacredness of the space and what this sutra says is you must go within you are the sacred place you are the place of pilgrimage and it's pure and it's beautiful and it's peaceful and it's wonderful but the journey to get there we have to love ourselves i'd love to ask you guys what do you think stands in the way of loving ourselves that much that we could be the object of worship in our life and i don't mean in some weird narcissistic way that the narcissist thing is that everyone else has to worship you and even then it's like serve you and all that but to imagine that you really look in your own heart and say i love you i honor you so what stands in the way of that inner critic fear i think we are taught that we receive love externally stories for you personally if i say to you look in the mirror and this is the object of your worship if you want to become one with god you need to worship the person looking back at you in the mirror what comes up for you when you hear that the constant judgment from others the judgment from others ego so what aspect of the ego in the tantric world ego is simply the definition of self it's just what separates us from everyone else but i know that ego is used by many people because it gets in the way it's almost like but what is it what is it about the negative ego that gets in the way the idea of ourself not our true self but the idea of ourself maybe layers of conditioning over years and decades taught not to trust your own perspective that it's selfish the mind self old programs maybe i'm not good enough to be worshiped aren't these interesting thoughts everything you guys are saying like it really shows us the curious weaving we're all a part of that says you're not divine even cultures too i cannot imagine worshiping myself maybe if i see this as worshiping my true self if we were divine we would be harder to control force of power versus force so i want to go back actually to what you said paula i cannot imagining worshiping myself maybe if i see this as worshiping my true self so that little self versus big self big little s self versus big s self i think we all feel the same way is you paula so i'm glad you worded it that way what if and i really want to ask this question for not just for you but for me too what if what about our little s self what about and i'm going to say her because it's me what about our little self our human self our struggling self the self that makes hard choices makes wrong choices makes good choices suffers from them loves them what about that little self what if we really loved that little self like really loved them and just held them in total compassion and love if we look at that little self and we say yeah but look at all the things they've done and the things they should have done and the how different they should be and all that stuff why do we do that every single one of us has gone through difficult things and those difficult things twist us and we make choices and we have addictions to all kinds of things emotions and substance and talking and people and fears and all kinds of things what would it feel like to hold that little self in our arms and love and honor like someone said maybe honors a better word or another word we can use if worship is too you know religious and has too many hang-ups in it imagine honoring that little self imagine honoring your previous self who made all kinds of challenging choices and had difficult experiences what would that feel like like honestly I'd love to know what would it feel like to honor your small s self safe full of self-compassion patient acceptance the concept of worship tends to involve one higher being and one lower but worship's a different concept of worship it's a concept of self-compassion worshiping self is me addressing me on the same level which is confusing it makes me think of this ego again it makes me think of what if it's my ego like my personality looking at me in my wholeness and saying let's do this good bad and ugly like what if it's or maybe we need to redefine worship exactly when I recognize the sacredness in me and worship myself then for me that would mean also recognizing that everyone else is their own most sacred space too okay so let's think about this word worship for a second let's think about because you guys are right you know that we were taught that it's like a lower being worshiping a higher being what does it really mean what does it really mean if we take that example like you know the human worshiping god that kind of idea what does it mean to worship what does it mean does it mean to desire oneness I think of adore adoration which is love is it is a desire for connection like what does worship mean to give part of myself to honoring trust even if you imagine someone says something like I worship the ground they walk on what does that mean gratitude and appreciation adulation I like them more than me right we're certainly taught that to hold with reverence that they are divine d all of the aforementioned so imagine now let's imagine worshiping the creation of you like again we're gonna let's imagine this within the tantric realm that you are the divine incarnation every cell of your body is divine energy appearing physical this is the tantric perspective you are literally divine energy walking around in human form each one of us in a beautiful unique human form within a unique assignment every possible twist and turn available we've got it here on earth imagine that this was also our sacred place this was our place of worship this was our place of honoring and we held who we were with reverence I love that does it mean that we are worshiping the divine we see in others but don't realize we have it too divine oneness an action of that shows inner respect and adoration unconditional love yes yes I'm bumping up against heavy religious conditioning here humble oneself before God kind of thing as though I am lowly worshiping a being that is all-knowing but to M's point this is conditioning this is why the tantrics of old were considered to be rebels because when the Aryans came into India and installed the caste system and all that they wanted to create a leveling amongst the people that you are lowly and these people are higher caste we are the priests we are closest to God we will interpret the scriptures you just do your work just do your work and the tantrics said no way there's no such thing as caste men are not greater than women you cannot separate God from me I am I'm like we're all every one of us is the divine walking around so the tantrics of old were considered to be great rebels and driven underground and so inside of us today to imagine this is simply going to push up against thousands of years of conditioning that said no no no you do as you're told but the crazy thing is there are funny little pieces of truth in there so one of the things M said was that we are taught to humble ourself before God well the crazy thing about that is what does it mean to be humble well we know what we've been conditioned to be told that what it is but what I can tell you in my personal experience of the word humble my mind is limited my brain can only conceptualize what I've experienced what I can see what I can understand but the more experiences I have in life and the more I learn and the more I meditate and contemplate and all these things the less I know that I know it's almost like the more experiences you have the more humble you naturally become it's like that there's a great line this guy said once he said you know before I had children I had six theories of have about children and now I have six children and no theories this is becoming humble you know maybe you're early in life and you're reading all the books and you know exactly what life is all about you know what God is you know what life is about you know what success looks like you know it all right we we got it all figured out and then the universe says really and we are given a different experience and all of a sudden everything we are so we were so sure we knew is blown into oblivion just you know I was so sure that when I had children I was just going to be this ultimate earth mama and I was going to be like Julie Andrews just like singing and dancing and the children were just going to follow me so happy because I was just such an enlightened being and then I when my with my first child my first with my son I labored for 27 hours of horrific back labor eventually was begging for drugs begging for an epidural I just I wasn't going to survive it and then I couldn't birth them and I ended up having a c-section which was bad and they ended up having to give me all kinds of morphine in the middle of it and then I couldn't walk for six months because of the bad botched surgery and I couldn't walk my son colicked for 11 months all of my ideals were just beaten right out of me like just nope and my mom died when I was pregnant with him and so I had no family it was just it was literally like tell me about your theories Katrina and I don't take it lightly challenges in life I don't they're real and they're hard but wow do they make you humble in the end in hindsight once the dust is cleared or the dust is settled we look back and we go wow I didn't know and suddenly you have all this compassion for people you have so much compassion for people who have pain or struggle with childbirth or struggle with children or all the things in this example we have so much compassion and humility and we never ever ever tell anybody what they should be doing ever again because we're so you know we're so humble before it if we're lucky now imagine this in the journey of spirituality having to release the conditioning of church and our upbringing and all these things that told us that you are nothing you know but then you and this is why tantra is a journey of practices like to find a practice that really makes your heart sing and slowly reminds you of how divine you are but even there the more you experience the more you know that there is to experience and you actually become humbler and humbler and humbler and humbler but as you become humbler I don't even know if that's a word it's like you become more open and then you're able to experience more because of that so the truth is if we truly want to merge with the divine humility is the way because the opposite of humility is I suppose I don't know what the opposite of humility is but let's say it's thinking we know the truth let's say we think we know everything we're a know-it-all I guess arrogance yes perfect right imagine trying to be one with the universe one with the divine and we're arrogant about what we think we know it's impossible it feels like I need to give myself permission to worship myself a kind of reverence for who I am honestly imagine sitting down and writing yourself a love letter and just saying imagine you were someone that you loved so much and you were like I love that you struggle to hold your tongue I love that you suck at dieting I love that you're kind I love that you're an athlete or I love that you're not an athlete like what if we did that and we truly imagine how expansive we would be all it does is expand us so we're doing gonna do a really short meditation so I can read the sutra again so let's close our eyes holding all of this love in our heart for our little s self for our big s self just breathing deeply expanding the belly as we inhale contracting as we exhale rudra shakti sama visha emanating from the embrace of the goddess and her god is a wheel of delicious divine energies the center of this wheel is right where you are live here and let your heart stream with an unending flow of adoration in this way tend the altar of love okay guys have a wonderful week we'll see you guys later

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Who we are
In reverence

Humility
What we don’t know

The web of life
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