Tonglen Practice: P.J. Dixon

This is an introduction to, and practice of Tonglen Meditation. This is a beautiful Tibetan Buddhist practice that promotes Loving Kindness and compassion for others. In this practice, we tap into a rejuvinating breathing exercise to begin, before cultivating a deep sense of inner joy and connection to our heart space, to gather pure love to beam into the external world. This practice is part of Julian's "100-Day Meditation Gong".

Transcript

We'll be learning Tonglin meditation and there are a number of different ways that you can do Tonglin.

Tonglin is a Tibetan Buddhist meditation for compassion and loving kindness and the basic gist is that you breathe in the suffering of another person and you exhale the love and the kindness and the compassion and the light and the generosity back into them.

You can do this for yourself,

You can do this for large groups of people,

You can do this for the whole world,

You can do this in a process where you are focused on one particular ailment for someone,

You can do this in a way that you just want the general emotional health to heal,

You can do this when you are working on something physical.

So there's all kinds of ways and times that you can utilize Tonglin.

I will often use Tonglin if I'm driving down the road and I see somebody walking along the side of the road and I see that they're suffering or struggling in some way.

I'll breathe in their suffering and struggling and I'll transmute it.

You see my eyes close right because I immediately go to this sense of feeling,

This sense of feeling that I want to make sure that I am feeling this sense of compassion and love and joy and acceptance for this person and as I do then I breathe out intentionally that love and that joy and that compassion for that person and then as long as I can see in them,

Think about them or feel them,

I will continue to do that process in and then transmute the feeling from sadness and suffering and struggle back into this sense of love and generosity and joy and loving kindness and compassion back into them.

So it's this cycle of breathing in another person's suffering or even breathing in the awareness of your own suffering and then exhaling and breathing out that bliss and joy and peacefulness back into the other person that you're doing the meditation for or back into yourself which is a beautiful process also.

People who are ready to do the Tonglin process,

I would invite you to just simply get comfortable,

Find,

You know,

Sit cross-legged,

Sit with both feet on the flat on the floor.

I don't care if you have your feet sitting straight out in front of you.

What I care about is are you comfortable,

Preferably not lying down but that's okay too because sometimes lying down meditation winds up being a nap which is always good too.

Buddha said when you're tired,

Sleep.

When you're hungry,

Eat.

So if you ever fall asleep in your meditation,

There's no problem with that.

That's okay.

That's just the body's way of saying,

Hey,

We needed a little bit more sleep and the meditation allowed us to get that.

So perfect.

So I would like you to close your eyes if you would please and begin to breathe in through your nose and pause and breathe out through your mouth,

Pause.

In through your nose,

Pause.

And out through your mouth,

Pause.

And repeat this cycle and allow the inhalation and the pause and the exhalation and the pause to be the same length of time every time.

They don't have to be super duper precise but allow yourself to establish a rhythm.

So when you inhale,

If you inhale for four or five seconds,

Try to do that virtually every time.

If you exhale for at the same four or five seconds,

Allow yourself to do this also.

Just establish this pattern of in through your nose,

Pause.

Out through your mouth,

Pause.

And the pauses are simple breaks just to shift your feeling and your senses and allow yourself to transmute the energy and the feeling that you would just breathe in into something beautiful and delicious and wonderful so that you can then exhale it.

And as you exhale,

You exhale all of that juicy and delicious positive back into the other person.

So as you continue this cycle of breathing in through your nose,

Pause.

Breathe out through your mouth,

Pause.

I would love for you to think about someone who you,

And this can be yourself too,

But think about someone who you know is suffering in some way.

And it can be physical ailment.

It can be an emotional difficulty that they're having even just for one day today.

It can be something that they've carried with them for a long time,

Maybe death in the family or some kind of disability that they are dealing with.

And so as you do that,

What I would like for you to do is look at them in your mind's eye or feel them out if it works better to feel them out.

And in this process,

If you see them,

Look for where you see the dark areas,

The dark spots,

The areas that seem to be covered by the pain or the suffering or the struggle or the difficulty or the immovability.

And as you see that and identify that,

Begin to breathe that in,

Preferably in through your nose.

And yes,

This seems a little bit scary,

But trust me that what you're going to do is you're going to breathe it in and it won't stay darkness and sadness and fear and loss and pain and ailment.

It will transmute into light and joy and love and kindness.

So as you breathe that in from them,

As if you may see it as like a cloud around them,

You may see this thick tar,

You may feel the vibration,

You may hear a sound.

Instead,

All that matters is that you are actually aware of the other person's suffering.

When you become aware of the other person's suffering,

Breathe in through your nose,

All of their suffering that you can breathe in in one breath.

Pause,

Change that suffering,

That sadness,

That pain,

That hurt,

That loss,

That sickness,

That disappointment.

Change it to light and peace and joy and ease and joviality.

And then exhale through your mouth with some sense of intention,

Not direct,

Not forceful,

Not rough,

But you can direct it to them in a loving,

Kind,

Gentle way.

And as you do,

Direct that energy back to them,

That loving,

Kind,

Gentle,

Generous,

Light energy back into them.

Then pause and feeling of that lightness and that joy.

And then inhale again,

Some of their suffering and their struggle and the darkness and their difficulties.

Breathe that in and as you breathe it in and you pause,

Pause and start to transmute that.

Change it to something juicy and delicious,

Something beautiful,

Something kind,

Something warm,

Something light,

Something energetic,

Something vibrant,

Something joyful.

And then exhale through your mouth that same joy,

That same vibrancy,

That same beauty,

That same bliss back into them and continue to repeat the cycle after the pause of breathing the joy and the beauty and the bliss back into them.

Inhale again,

Breathe in again their suffering,

Their struggle and don't breathe it in with fear that you're going to get it and that you're not going to be able to get rid of it and that it's going to get into you.

But instead breathe it in with sheer compassion,

Sheer joy,

Sheer love that you say,

Hey,

Let me help you carry that.

Breathe that love in,

Breathe that suffering in and breathe it in with a sense of love,

A sense of joy that you get to help.

And as you do that,

Transmute it again,

Change it again to that light,

That joy,

To that laughter,

To that happiness,

To that courage,

To that compassion and exhale that back into that person that you are compassionately and lovingly meditating for.

And as you exhale all of that love and the joy back into them,

Feel that sense of joy filling up you and the smile that may overcome your face and the joy that fills up your heart,

Right in the tingling sensation in your mind.

And breathe in again,

Breathe in,

Breathe in,

Breathe in,

Breathe in,

Breathing in their suffering,

Their struggle,

Their hurt,

Their loss.

Change it into something light,

Something beautiful,

Something kind,

Something energetic,

Something blissful and then breathe that back into them.

And as you breathe that back into them,

Feel the sense of joy and gratitude that you get to give them something that you get to breathe some life and some love back into them.

And as you breathe that life and that love and that joy back into them and you feel a sense of gratitude within you,

Allow that to fill up your spine and fill up your heart area and fill up your chest and run its course up your spine and tingling in your brain.

Allow yourself to physically feel and intellectually feel and emotionally feel and spiritually feel the kindness and generosity that you're offering them.

Now again,

Please breathe in through your nose,

Breathing in their suffering,

Their struggle.

Pause,

Change it to something delightful,

Something easy.

Something peaceful,

Something funny and then exhale that back into them.

Breathe that back into them in a way that you want to share that loving kindness,

That compassion,

That joy,

That sense of peace,

That sense of liberation and liberty from the suffering back into them and continue this cycle as you go in through the nose,

Breathing in their suffering.

Pause,

Giving yourself time to change it into something beautiful.

And exhaling through your mouth,

Allowing that to breathe back into them and take the place of what you just removed.

Fill them up with that light,

Fill them up with that joy,

Fill them up with that compassion,

Fill them up with that kindness.

And as you do this,

This process can be one breath or it can be 15 minutes or two hours.

It can be for you.

It can be for one person.

It can be for a group of people.

It can be for an emotional difficulty someone's having for the day,

A physical ailment or a spiritual struggle.

This process is just the process of giving and receiving,

Which is what Tonglen means to give and receive.

So continue to make this breath in through your nose.

Pause,

Breathing in their suffering and their struggle and then exhaling that joy and that bliss and that love back into them.

And when you feel you are complete because you see that they are clean and that they are fresh and that you've removed and taken away all of their suffering or you feel as though you've taken away enough that makes you feel good for the moment,

Then it's okay for you to finish.

And when you finish,

Let's be finished for just a moment.

Breathe in back to the normal meditation that you had before.

In through your nose,

Pause.

Out through your mouth,

Pause.

In through your nose,

Breathe freshness and joy and ease and light,

Almost like a spring fresh summer breeze,

A sense of coolness.

And when you exhale,

Exhale any of the darkness that you maybe didn't change.

Exhale any of the thickness that maybe you didn't change.

Exhale any of the suffering,

The sadness,

The hurt,

The doubt,

The fear,

The worry that you may not have let go,

That you may not have transmuted into something delightful and beautiful and joyful.

So make an effort to exhale that and get rid of it.

If it seems to cling to you and you can't seem to let it go,

No problem.

Breathe in that light and that love and that joy and transmute it right inside of your own being.

When you transmute it inside of your own being,

Then you can exhale it just peacefully and easily,

Breathing that love and that joy back into the life of the world,

Back into other people,

Back into your own self.

So three more breaths,

Just simple,

Easy breaths,

Cleaning,

Clearing breaths.

In through your nose,

A lightness,

A coolness and ease.

Pause.

Out through your mouth,

Exhaling any kind of thickness or darkness or concern or worry.

Pause.

And again,

In through your nose,

Breathing in lightness and joy and peace and bliss and ease and gratitude and pausing and exhaling any kind of stickiness or residual feelings or disappointments or fears or worries.

Exhaling those completely.

Pause and then inhale your last time.

Feeling that sense of joy rushing into you,

That sense of gratitude for being able to love someone the way you just did.

And then you exhale,

Exhale all of that joy,

All of that love,

All of that bliss,

All of that gratitude,

All of that loving kindness back out into the world,

Into the universe,

Into a particular person,

Into yourself and allow yourself to just sit in that feeling of bliss and joy,

Knowing that you've loved other people up and that you have made a genuine effort to pull away any kind of the suffering that another human being might have.

And after your third,

Fourth,

Or fifth clearing breath,

Begin to open your eyes and analyze and assess how you feel.

Is your mind still?

Is it quiet?

Does your body feel more vibrant,

More energetic,

More alive?

Is there a peacefulness within you?

Is there a joy on your face?

Is there happiness in your heart?

This is Tong Lin.

This is the process of exchanging one thing for another,

Transmutating or changing a negative or a darkness or a heavy feeling for something that's positive and light and joyful.

This is the process of giving them love and receiving their suffering,

Giving and taking even.

And in this case,

Taking is okay.

Let me take for you what ails you,

What you suffer with.

Let me bring it into me.

Let me transmute it and change it with bright light.

And brilliant love and intention of joy.

And give all of that back.

Breathe all of that back into them.

And when you do,

Everything changes for you and everything changes for them.

I hope you enjoyed the Tong Lin meditation.

Reviews

Life changing. Helped me to better understand suffering and it's role in my life and how I can use it to help others.

This is a wonderful instructional recording. I so appreciate his descriptions. I agree with what some others have said - this is a talk, not a meditation. However, it is a valuable talk that I will listen to again as I develop this practice. Thank you!

Will have to try again - I took a lot of suffering from my husband and I don’t think all the happiness, joy, sunshine, warmth and lightness will help a man who has super high anxiety...I can’t help him....so as much as I tried to take his suffering away - I don’t think I have enough happy joyful peaceful juju to spread back out to him. I feel that all I can do is try to offer that love I feel in life to him but he has so much suffering that I don’t have the control or power to take that away. So this left me sad - I will try this again with my own suffering as the breath in...and then give back to myself the joy, love, peacefulness and light I feel inside... I think I will start there next time - I love the concept though.

This is a deeply moving, powerful practice. Thank you.

Beautiful and perfect for whole hearted living. Thank you!

Tonglen is an important practice to include in your life. Take this instruction, and create your own pace, your own personal form of Tonglen. It is the most generous form of practice we have.

So beautiful and so loving. I feel calm and blessed. Thank you🙏